Girzo

Please notice that you won't read on this forum that you should meditate 8 hours straight daily, because guys and gals practicing that hard don't have time to post on Actualized.org I would say meditate as much as you can! All day, all night. But I know it might be impossible considering everyone has to survive, so plan a week-long retreat and see what benefits long periods of meditation give, you can then compare it with shorter sessions and develop an understanding of how much meditation is enough for your purposes. Cheers

Compassion towards you, egoless. (if you need it) I never understood the spiritual drama. I hope there's none or very little of it on my personal path. It always have seemed paradoxical to me that Nothing (which is another name for Truth) could hurt you. Because if nothing can hurt you, then everything can hurt you, so if that's true, is there being hurt at all? That's why the pain seems uneccessary for me, but hey! If it happens, then it happens and there's no point in resisting it.

I will agree with @DocHoliday that "fight" might be not the most appropiate word in a such context, because of all the presuppositions connected with it. And you don't need to be Enlightened to care about ecology, but since you ask for it I believe you have some valid-looking reason for that. Can I know what would that be? Why would the person have to be Enlightened in order to co-work at your project?

Checkout this channel: Charisma on Command. This article - The Conversationalist - might also be a helpful and interesting read for you! Cheers.

Just don't. Don't tell them if they don't want to listen and be ok with whatever they are thinking about you. Their opinion doesn't have much of an impact on your life and can change anytime. If I were you, I would contemplate this question: Do opinions of others matter? If no, then why do I feel anxiety, pain or even care at all?

Not really. If you can oppose something to non-duality, then it becomes a duality, so you are not really speaking about Non-duality. Good point, Natasha! Good point.

If you want to read more on this topic, then I recommend for you OSHO's book called The Search: Finding Your Inner Power, Your Potential It's a book about Ten Oxes with very profound comments, nicely wrapped up in words. Easy and fast to read. It has helped me with grasping a few things for the first time and induced a nice blissful state after I was done with reading. OSHO's book are very repetitive, like there are exactly the same words reprinted in many books, but this one is kind of unique, so I recommend reading it despite that fact.

+1 for RSDMax's content

Here's a report from my first trip on low-medium dose of this substance if you like to read that stuff and want to know more about it: SET&SETTING: 12.2017 // Thursday. Skipped lessons and went home. Being alone XX mg of white powder was weighted and ingested oral route. Using water could have been a bad idea, but I couldn't swallow the paper it was put on in any other way. Next time prepare vodka or distilled water. I was lacking sleep on that day. Prior to the experience I was talking with classmates at school, it has affected a mood of the trip heavily. PART ONE - QUICK ONSET: Bodyload was felt. More intense than on AL-LAD, for sure, but it wasn't not a problem. There was some shaking and feeling cold. During this phase "The Best of Blackmill" playlist was listened to on headphones. Effects started showing up after 15 minutes. Intensity of psychedelic effects reached it's peak in about hour. It's a very quick acting psychedelic. It was hard to focus on anything. Very strong OEV and dreamy CEVs. A lot of random stuff happening. Nothing really interesting. I was role-playing a talk with my classmate and imagining prom night. Very photorealistical renditions of humans in winter clothes smiling at me. It felt like watching a movie. In my mind I have also seen some random photo of totally ordinary couple done with a shitty camera at the evening. I will laugh my ass off if I ever see those people in real life. Chaotic experience. Music didn't really help this time. I was surprised with the quick onset and intensity of it. Yet, I think the dose was too low. Later on everything became more manageable, too much manageable. PART TWO - NO MUSIC: I have tried to contemplate nature of reality and failed terribly. Too much thinking. Need to work on it. Went to the bathroom and seen my face in the mirror. Reflection was 3D and I had fun wondering who is more real, reflected or standing me. After that, did some animalistic movements and roared a few times. I still feel blocked and limited inside. What I did contemplate was social conditioning. How we are setup to live and not really living because of that. I came to conclusion that I haven't started using this life yet. We as the modern people are mass produced and not really developed, each of us individually. I have to start taking action in the world, enjoy life using body and mind. Started playing songs from my "Songs to Try on Psychedelics" playlist, cried at "Stereo Sayan 3D", although music enchancing effects started to wear off by the time. (self-reflection: I write too much) PART THREE - THE WALK: Went on the walk. Thought about how cancer is a feature not a bug. That humanity is gambling as a species with it's fast development. That there's balance to everything. And you know what? It was fucking amazing. I have enjoyed every step made in the snow and danced like a crazy motherfucker. After that did some chores with smile on my face. COCNLUSIONS: More preparation. Higher dose. Start living your life. Learn to let go. Everything is simple and easy, you just need to go for it. Have a vision of how you want your life to look like. There are many levels of understanding, prepare for that so you don't end up dumbfounded.

***DISCLAIMER: I won't share the dose, as my stuff is partly degraded and every batch is different, let's just say it was high.*** "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around." SET&SETTING: 01.2018 // Monday, after school. Plan was to take it, pass the peak at home and go on the walk. It failed terribly, parents came back in the middle of the peak, so I had to wait for it to come down a little bit until I could interact with them and even then it was totally bizzare, like I was talking with some egyptian gods. I wonder how weird I am on the daily basis that they didn't even say a word looking at how I behave. Maybe I was acting normally and it's just a drug that made every action look ridiculous in my eyes. Ingestion: emtpy stomach, glass of lemon juice to dissolve powder. Tip for next trip - wait for it to dissolve completly, otherwise some will be left on the glass. No bodyload throughout the whole trip other than a slight burning caused by vasoconstriction on the come up and off set of the trip. PART ONE - TAKES AGES TO LOAD, THEN EVERYTHING TURNS INSIDE OUT: I have waited for visuals to kick in before drinking water. Turns out I didn't take enough of it, because I was thirsty when parents came home. Listening to music, dancing, etc. When it kicked in, then it KICKED IN. I was sitting on the sofa with music turned off when room started to shrink and expand alternately. I felt my body fully, everything was getting heavily distroted. Everything was vibrant and full of life. Cushions on the sofa started flowing and were hypnotising. Just thinking about it makes my heart shiver. I couldn't have predicted what was going to happen. Then my reality started looping, muliplying, translating. It was a wisdom overload, I was hardly keeping up with the experience. Actually, there was no I for a moment, then it reemerged, then got lost again. I didn't take it beautifully, there was a lot of resistance, the dose took me by surprise, which sounds stupid when I write this now, considering how ridiculously high the dose was. I tried to meditate, which was so absurd considering what was happening, I was aware of that, nevertheless there was an urge to do something, so I was taking a meditative posture and getting crushed down to the sofa repeatedly, laughing a lot, having insights well beyond thoughts. There was almost no control over the experience. KEY INSIGHTS: Seeing life as an endless, complete loop. Everything is inclusive and complete. Sort of +- polarity kind of thing. I can't really explain it. I bet there's a spritiual book or trip report that explains this experience. Everything is right just the way it is. Death and life is the same thing. Looking through the window, all the trees felt like a fractal mockup. Like it was an artificial reality. The bathroom was the home of visual patterns crawling up the walls and bathroom utensils, these felt evil and were red-colored. Looking in the mirror my face was resembling a clay frog, emoticon-like symbols of expressions appeared floating in front of my face. Nothing really interesting, I was just passing time and preparing for a walk. PART TWO - SACRED GEOMETRY OF NIGHT SKY: I know from where did the notion of astretisms (patterns of stars in the night sky) come from. They were so vivid and unique. I could spin around and looking up into the sky everything got fractalized. I had occasion to do that thanks to deciding to go on the walk. A lot of profound thoughts flooded my mind. On this dose, the comedown was stronger than peak of 25mg trip and lasted for 3 hours. Everything was so wild and obvious at the same time. Very enjoyable experience. I felt urge to rather consume the experience in silence, rather than analyizing it intelectually, which is very encouraged and rewarding on AL-LAD. I felt other perspectives as bubbles. People in my life, objects, all having a separate bubble of reality. Those bubbles are constantly moving and merging, all affecting each other. I felt a very strong influence of cosmos on how my life looks like. The feeling that everything is right the way it is stayed with me for the whole next day after the trip. COCNLUSIONS: Why would I believe that I exist? That's such a stupid notion. There's no separate I and probably no existing reality, but the second statement needs more proof. I should tell parents that I take psychedelic drugs. I live with them. Although, I have seen those insights, now they feel distant and unreal. I am figuring a way how to incorporate them in everyday experience. Yet, there's a change in how I look at the world, will see if it lasts longer than 2 weeks. The day after, when I heard lyrics of Infected Mushroom's song "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around." , I instantly knew what they are talking about. A strange loop, which reality is. Those guys know their music.

For sure I can recommend it. It's well-known, safe and cheap.

BTW, I AM STILL JOURNALING: Currently at the 90th day, consistently, without missing any single day.

Any Osho's book with love in title. I've read a few of them and these often have reapeating content, but it's always a good content. You can choose whichever you like based on cover.

@phoenix666 I have got my best friend into psychedelics. But he is more of a Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of guy, he is tripping not for spiritual purposes, but to find motivation, vision, solution to relationship problems, etc. Yup, he has wasted his whole first trip imagining he is an Iron Man flying through the streets. But yeah, most people will just look at you in a weird way when you mention psychedelics, because they have their own opinions, even though they know close to nothing about any substance. @gleb Thanks for your answer! That's what I would like to achieve. More authenticity and honesty in my life, because I am tired of making up lies, it's almost like a habit.

@brovakhiin 4-HO-MiPT is a very popular, legal tryptamine in my country. Easily accessible and tested by many people. Those were the main reasons to choose it over something like 4-AcO-DMT or 4-HO-MET. I have read trip reports from all over the internet and decided to give it a go. @phoenix666 I stayed cool, because I am a cold, non-reactive bad boy. Either that, or I was too high to care. No, but really I shat my pants a little at first, because my plans got derailed. Leaving house was easy, as I had prepared everything: water, chocolate, reflective band, jacket, etc. I just grabed my stuff, told parents I am leaving and left. @Leo Gura Yeah, I have time to reconsider doing that. It's not like I would like to convert them or anything. It would just be convenient if I could store bottles of reagents in visible places, ask for time to trip, so I don't have to lie to them that I was drinking and can't drive, etc. Yet, I am not sure if I want to take a burden of becoming a psychedlic sheep in the family.

Curious, where would you apply if you don't know what you want to be doing in life? I mean, what major would you choose?

"Bakuman" manga is very inspirational and shows it's done. Complete hero's journey to becoming a world class manga artist. Just replace manga with any kind of illustration you are doing and you have an recipe for complete mastery.

Well, if you are thinking about Internet Marketing, then it will fry your brain even more. But the money is good. I have owned a few websites and worked with people selling penis enlargement pills and all that shit, very unsatisfying and numbing work. If you have some skills like copywriting, photoshop editing, etc., then you can try websites like UpWork or Fiverr. Translation on Fiverr is especially easy to get started, after 3 months you are earning a minimal wage and can only scale up from there, depending on how much you are willing to work.

Iboga is simply an overkill for social anxiety problems. It's like hitting a nail with excavator. Not this tool, not this size. I would only consider it an option in case of hardcore heroin addiction or 30-years-long alcohol addiction. Deaths from ibogaine happen even in "clinical" setting. Not to mention hospitalizations, those are common. There's a shit-ton of safer substances, that are also probably legal in your country (you have to check for yourself, as I don't know where you live), examples are: AL-LAD, 4-HO-MiPT or DPT. They can give you all that iboga has to offer and more.

A lot of good advice up there ^^^ @Light Lover Have you ever heard about Sycra? He is a YouTuber that seems to have answers for all your questions. He has videos on how to bootstrap your drawing practice, how to deal with feeling stuck, etc. He also has done a lot of contemplation on how to become a good artist, develop your own style and how to grow your skill. Stuff that you should be doing too, if you want to master this field. That's because your eye for noticing mistakes has developed faster than your drawing skills, every image looks like shit. You take that as a feedback, improve your sticking points and now every image looks godlike. Untill your eye adapts and notices more mistakes, then the whole thing goes again, and again. That's basically process of mastery wrapped up for you. That how it works, become aware of that and set proper expectations. If you lack motivation for sustaining everyday boring practice then I would suggest you to find yourself a goal that will reinvigorate you as you go. Something big, like co-working with your favourite artist, desiging a cover art for your favourite magazine or creating a poster for a continuation of movie you love. I would take any crazy idea and work my ass off to make it real! With right vision in your mind you will stop asking unproductive questions.

No, because Enlightment has nothing to do with that. And yes, because there's no reason why Enlightened person wouldn't behave such way. There's really no excuse for not doing both. Self-actualization and spiritual work. If something contradicts itself, then remember it's a feature not a bug. You have to learn how to deal with that on your own. The whole Reality is not as separate as it seems to be! Have I answered your question?

I have a very minimal approach. It's Evernote, so structure is limited compared to Microsoft's OneNote, you can't have a deep tree of hierarchy. Every big topic in my life gets it's own category. Rest is stuffed into Miscellaneous. In each category there's a Goals List note that is divided into: short-term, mid-term, long-term goals and archive. Properly tagged so I can access them any time. Notes are basic and heavily interlinked. I try to store there only important information, like techniques, exercises, photos, short and concise notes, etc. It's designed so I look into it, decide on what action to take, learn how to do it and then take it. This way there's no time wasted browsing around. There are also three journals, I write in these almost on a daily manner. The first one is called Daily. Here I write bulletpoints of important things that has happend throughout the day and judge wheter that results in me being a better or worse human being compared to day before. The next one is meditation log where I write all my sessions down and practical insights on practicing meditation in accompaniment. The last one is about workout, I write down every workout here and my basic metrics, body weight, etc. So I can know what works and what not and base my choices on that. I hope reading that will help someone with his/her own setup!

Then you are addicted just as much as people who you are bashing. Do you want to self-actualize first, instead of aiming for Enlightment? Then great, nothing is stopping you from doing that. Just don't hold it as an ultimate blueprint for everyone. Otherwise, you are causing unneccessary mayhem. All purposes are created. Dreaming is not an absolute purpose of life, there's none of such thing. It's only the purpose that you have created for yourself, please don't force it onto others. What if purpose of life is exploring reality as much as possible?

Here is another 10 lessons: Progress is not linear, it fluctuates, happens in jumps, gets exponential with time or is very quick in the begining and then stops. Get used to that and set proper expectations The key to psychedlics is consistency, breaking once might be not enough. Also, it's like with meditation, it only increases chances of Enlightenment strucking you like a lightning. Plus the effects stack up. Little 10 minutes exercicses done everyday stack up exponentially. Examples are free-associations exercise, meditation, stretching, rehabilitation, learning about nutrition from YT, journaling, etc. It's crucial for health to exercise at least for 1 hour a day. But any amount will do. And the more, the better. Theory =/= practice. Some things look great on paper, but in practice are completly different. For example, science, it should be open-minded and objective, but in real life is almost an opposite. Cut a shit that doesn't work from your life. Replace it with new promising shit. Optimize, repeat, until you are no longer here. STOP, making a narration. Don't beat yourself up. Simply start working towards better future. Be patient to a hardcore extent. Your body asks for however much sleep it needs. Don't try to manipulate, but listen to it. Put the right fuel and you will be good to go. You can get to as low as 4 hours of sleep if you have a very contemplative lifestyle. Your mind responds to: pictures you make in your head & the words you say to yourself. Visualisation practice is very beneficial and not as easy as it seems. Understanding is the key to mastering emotions. You need to understand why people make certain choices or behave in some way in order to gain emotional mastery. Emotional turmoil is just misunderstanding or lack of understanding of social dynamics. Plus bonus one for everyone reading. "Is it cosmically important or a trivial point?" Cool thing to ask yourself.

You can always streamline your notes. Just read through them and choose 1-3 insights from each and put it in another note, that's more accessible. A lot of stuff that Leo says repeats, so you will have every valuable insight there after some time anyways. And with more practical stuff like meditation tips, you can make another note that you will place higher in hierarchy and thanks to that read it more often. If it's hard to judge what's important while you watch, then I see no problem in distilling information after you are done with it. And be ok with loosing some value, that's just how it is in nature.