Girzo

It's funny that RSD teachers know that personally very well. RSD Max has two part book called "The Player", where his depression is being described. Yet one of the main points that advertise his newest product caled "Girlfriend Game" is guide to having threesomes. I guess that high consciousness stuff doesn't sell well enough. RSD as an organization has a very big ego and is money hungry. I can't imagine them switiching to more conscious bussiness scheme, where they sacrifice part of the money for just putting out better and more honest content. Like for example Leo does with Actualized.org, he chooses less money-making, but important topics, doesn't bomb us with short videos and pricey courses all the time, etc. But it's easy for him, beacuse it's his organization, his personal growth = growth of Actualized.org. RSD have this harder, it's fueled by an army of unconsciouss workers and also not everyone at the top is high in consciousness either.

You see, just because a mechanism is brutal it doesn't mean that it's fruit must follow that same set of rules. Look at the evolution, it's basically "survival of the fittest", but it has produced many mechanisms that are not about that at all. Love, music, art, it has outgrown simple survival. Like for example, you care about people and you can say that this urge to help others had evolved to force you to take care of your children. But then it started applying to members of your tribe, then animals. People now care about things that have nothing to do with their survival. In the beginning high consciousness had been helping you to be a better leader, but then slowly started developing into something more. Now it is attractive, even tho it has nothing to do with survival. You can't just look at everything with one lens, in this case "survival".

Go and try it, you don't have to live that way forever. Just please don't end up like the main character of "Into The Wild"

Is this guy that @dude has linked living off his house hacks? No, he's not stupid. He has a bussiness, a website, is writing ebooks and selling expensive courses to build his wealth. So maybe rather than following what he says, you can follow what he actually does. Just some more food for thought.

All that saving makes sense only when you are already earning a lot of money. Look at Leo, I would estimate that he earns around $200.000/year (50k YouTube/150k other stuff), maybe less, maybe more. The thing is, if he saves up 80% of his earnings, well that's something. And if you save up 80% from your $2000 full work time salary then you are living in poverty and saving up your milion would still take you 50 years. You can't win with Math. You need some leverage, wheter it's being extremly good at something like basketball players, singers, writers, etc. or bringing value for a lot of people with your bussiness like Leo does.

That's not a good idea if you want to have a million dollars house. How much can you save a month by not paying a rent? A $1000? (I don't know prices in Belgium) Let's assume optimistically that you even earn $2000 a month from your properties. To earn a $1.000.000 you would need over 40 years! Guess what, your kids will be grown-ups by then. Plus you can't escape taxes, you will be taxed as heavily as an entrepreneur. And there's inflation, so you would need to keep that money on investment deposit, not to earn, but to avoid loosing money! Paradoxically, going into bussiness is safer than all those "safe" tactics.

That's the way, no-one said it's super easy. For some, it's still easier than working 40 years in a life-draining corporate job. You live in the EU, set up a bussiness in Germany or anywhere really, if it's that bad in Belgium (which I don't believe).

Entrepreneurship.

@Sev He is not talking here about Ralston's intensive.

Gospel of Thomas - is the most raw version of biblical parables I know of. The most non-duality oriented from all the gospels for sure. There is also a brilliant book by OSHO with his commentaries on this gospel called "The Mustard Seed".

Alexander Lowen's bioenergotheraphy might be useful for you.

You are orange. Your thinking is very simliar to mine. Or not, who knows for sure, not me. You know, I have a friend to whom I have talked about Spiral Dynamics and explained everything to him. He started thinking he is on the stage green when he had stopped judging people, but that's not a sign of changing a stage, it's just a sign of being a healthy individual on the stage orange. Later he had started mistaking logical, analytical thinking for systems thinking and told me he is on the stage yellow. After some talking and discussing that higher doesn't necessarily means better, we came to conclusion that it's actually not a case. He actually concluded that green sucks really and reassured himself that he is still mainly orange. I am not idealizing anything and I don't deny that you have touched the stage yellow, but it might be a case of being like 70% orange, 20% green, 10% yellow. And that's still great, but I wouldn't call myself a yellow in that kind of situation, even though that 10% is probably having a lot of impact on your way of being. And what career is suitable for a yellow system thinker? There are a lot. Academia research, book writing, environmental activism, entreprenurship, farming, logistics, marketing, consulting, finances etc. But you know, doing finances work being a woke person you can end up with guilty feeling like some of the characters from the "Big Short" movie (8/10, recommend).

@Tetcher Install and use Chrome web browser. All videos should play then.

When you are in bed, get into a position and DON'T MOVE. (Plus watch and apply the Sadhguru's tips from the video two posts above)

Leo's life purpose course! (Haven't bought it yet, but I do trust it's worth it.) Best meditation course is going to 10 day Vipassana retreat (for free) to see how it really should feel like. For learning science you can check out EdX.org. It's full of courses from respectable universities.

That's me Sometimes I am like saying somthing and someone responds and then in my mind I go: "No, no, I am in the middle of my three sentence sequence I have already prepared to say out loud, don't fuck it up for me". But @aurum , you didn't give any method as to how to change that. Ok, I am at the party, getting tired from socialization, probably thinking too much, I notice that and then what? How do I switch to the second mode, where I am not that self-absorbed? @7thLetter BTW, nothing personal, but how did you figure out that you are on the yellow stage? Based on how you describe your problem and your dream job (trading the markets), it gives a vibe of someone who is on a stage orange. Are you sure you haven't done a mistake of adding two levels more than your current level?

That's the point of research, to get evidence. Innovations are based on wild guesses.

I see it more as "27% of Americans say they do believe in God, but don't go to church.".

You can use search option on the phone, too. It's probably hidden in the same menu where you can open a new page, called "Find" or "Find on page".

Start from even as low as 50 mcg. Just to see if your body reacts to the substance as it should. Then you can jump to 150 mcg after two weeks. LSD builds tolerance the most of all common psychedelics and lasts very long. Don't over do it. At least one month gap between trips is recommended. Have an intetntion prior to experience. Spend 20 minutes thinking about your goal or watch a Leo's video (the one about strange loops, for ex.)

UPDATE: I had stopped daily journaling at #121 day. Now I only write there important events, health problems or weird experiences. What's planned for the future? Well, I have got 5-MeO-MET in my hands. I am eager to try it, but as it's a novel substance I have to do so with a great caution. I am waiting at least a month from the last AL-LAD trip for tolerance to fully clear. I prepare myself for a biking trip, collect money, plan for college, look for life purpose and practice Kriya Yoga (it's godlike, as good as psychedelics or better). Trying to find a girlfriend, clean-up my diet and train calisthenics in the meantime. Seriously considering taking a year off between high school (I am finishing it now, being 20 years old) and college to explore things like workaway.info, attend at least three Vipassana retreats, refine my Life Purpose and earn a little chunk of money. I will start a small online bussiness in a month and then will see how it develops in the coming months.

This post and a few below - AL-LAD/4-HO-MiPT.

Only One Question - AL-LAD, 225mcg 29.03.18 // Taken when home alone. Sublingually. SPIRITUAL INSIGHTS: There is only one question and one answer. No thought =! No mind COMMON WISDOM: If the girl is showing interest, then show interest too. If she's not, then not. But from this position try to make her interested, so you are not only reactive, but also creating a change and oppurtinity for something great to happen. WHAT WENT WELL +++: Well, there were no inicidents. I have tried, really really hard. But maybe the thing to do was to let go? I discovered I love my grandparents. With parents the thing is more tricky. I have a good understanding of what has happened and what hasn't happened, sadly. WHAT NOT SO WELL?: There wasn't anything that went terribly bad. Maybe it was boring a little bit. I mean underwhelming, dosage could be higher. WHAT CAN BE IMPROVED: I can articulate my premise even more. Today it was to see the Truth. Spend 20 minutes prior to experience doing that. Or a whole previous day. Maybe try gaining some more experience in yoga and then go into the trip. Maybe try a different substance. AL-LAD is all fancy, but doesn't seem suited enough for Truth. Let go, there is no need to articulate the insights. The deepest Truth is unspeakable anyway. Prepare paper and pen to note chronology and write more useful reports.

Looping Through Reality - 4-HO-MiPT, 70mg "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around." SET&SETTING: 01.2018 // Monday, after school. Plan was to take it, pass the peak at home and go on the walk. It failed terribly, parents came back in the middle of the peak, so I had to wait for it to come down a little bit until I could interact with them and even then it was totally bizzare as I was talking with some egyptian gods. I wonder how weird I am on the daily basis that they didn't even say a word when looking at how I behave. Maybe I was acting normally and it's just a drug that made every action look ridiculous in my eyes. Ingestion: emtpy stomach, glass of lemon juice to dissolve powder. Tip for next trip - wait for it to dissolve completly, otherwise some will be left on the glass. No bodyload throughout the whole trip other than a slight burning caused by vasoconstriction on the come up and off set of the trip. PART ONE - TAKES AGES TO LOAD, THEN EVERYTHING TURNS INSIDE OUT: I have waited for visuals to kick in before drinking water. Turns out I don't take enough of it, because I was thirsty when parents came home. Listening to music, dancing, etc. When it kicked in, then it KICKED IN. I was sitting on the sofa with music turned off when room started to shrink and expand alternately. I felt my body fully, everything was getting heavily distroted. Everything was vibrant and full of life. Cushions on the sofa started flowing and were hypnotising. Just thinking about it makes my heart shiver. Then my reality started looping, muliplying, translating. It was a wisdom overload, I was hardly keeping up with the experience. Actually, there was no I for a moment, then it reemerged, then got lost again. I didn't take it beautifully, there was a lot of resistance, the dose took me by surprise, which sounds stupid when I write this now, considering how ridiculously high the dose was. I tried to meditate, which was so absurd considering what was happening, I was aware of that, nevertheless there was an urge to do something, so I was taking meditative posture and getting crushed down to the sofa repeatedly, laughing a lot. There was almost no control over the experience. KEY INSIGHTS: Seeing life as an endless, complete loop. Everything is inclusive and complete. Sort of +- polarity kind of thing. Everything is right just the way it is. Death and life is the same thing. Looking through the window, all the trees felt like a fractal mockup. Like it was an artificial reality. The bathroom was the home of visual patterns crawling up the walls and bathroom utensils, these felt evil and were red-colored. Looking in the mirror my face was resembling a clay frog, emoticon-like symbols of expressions appeared floating in front of my face. Nothing really interesting, I was just passing time and preparing for a walk. PART TWO - SACRED GEOMETRY OF NIGHT SKY: I know from where did the notion of astretisms (patterns of stars in the night sky) come from. They were so vivid and unique. I could spin around and looking up into the sky everything got fractalized. I had occasion to do that thanks to deciding to go on the walk. A lot of profound thoughts flooded my mind. On this dose, the comedown was stronger than peak of 25mg trip and lasted for 3 hours. Everything was so wild and obvious at the same time. Very enjoyable experience. I felt urge to rather consume the experience in silence, rather than analyizing it intelectually, which is very encouraged and rewarding on AL-LAD. I felt other perspectives as bubbles. People in my life, objects, all having a separate bubble of reality. Those bubbles are constantly moving and merging, all affecting each other. I felt a very strong influence of cosmos on how my life looks like. The feeling that everything is right the way it is stayed with me for the whole next day after the trip. COCNLUSIONS: Why would I believe that I exist? That's such a stupid notion. There's no separate I and probably no existing reality, but the second statement needs more proof. I should tell parents that I take psychedelic drugs. I live with them. Although, I have seen those insights, now they feel distant and unreal. I am figuring a way how to incorporate them in everyday experience. Yet, there's a change in how I look at the world, will see if it lasts longer than 2 weeks. The day after, when I heard lyrics of Infected Mushroom's song "Everything changes to a point that it stops and it turns around.", I instantly knew what they are talking about. A strange loop, which reality is. Those guys know about what they are making music.

The Animalistic Trip - 4-HO-MiPT, 25mg SET&SETTING: 12.2017 // Thursday. Skipped lessons and went home. Being alone 25 mg of white powder was weighted and ingested oral route. Using water could have been a bad idea, but I couldn't swallow the paper it was put on in any other way. Next time prepare vodka or distilled water. I was lacking sleep on that day. Prior to the experience I was talking with classmates at school, it has affected a mood of the trip heavily. PART ONE - QUICK ONSET: Bodyload was felt. More intense than on AL-LAD, for sure, but it wasn't not a problem. There was some shaking and feeling cold. During this phase "The Best of Blackmill" playlist was listened to on headphones. Effects started showing up after 15 minutes. Intensity of psychedelic effects reached it's peak in about hour. It's a very quick acting psychedelic. It was hard to focus on anything. Very strong OEV and dreamy CEVs. A lot of random stuff happening. Nothing really interesting. I was role-playing a talk with my classmate and imagining prom night. Very photorealistical renditions of humans in winter clothes smiling at me. It felt like watching a movie. In my mind I have also seen some random photo of totally ordinary couple done with a shitty camera at the evening. I will laugh my ass off if I ever see those people in real life. Chaotic experience. Music didn't really help this time. I was surprised with the quick onset and intensity of it. Yet, I think the dose was too low. Later on everything became more manageable, too much manageable. PART TWO - NO MUSIC: I have tried to contemplate nature of reality and failed terribly. Too much thinking. Need to work on it. Went to the bathroom and seen my face in the mirror. Reflection was 3D and I had fun wondering who is more real, reflected or standing me. After that, did some animalistic movements and roared a few times. I still feel blocked and limited inside. What I did contemplate was social conditioning. How we are setup to live and not really living because of that. I came to conclusion that I haven't started using this life yet. We as the people are mass produced and not really developed, each of us individually. I have to start taking action in the world, enjoy life using body and mind. Started playing songs from my "Songs to Try on Psychedelics" playlist, cried at "Stereo Sayan 3D", although music enchancing effects started to wear off by the time. (self-reflection: I write too much) PART THREE - THE WALK: Went on a walk. Thought about how cancer is a feature not a bug. That humanity is gambling as a species with it's fast development. That there's balance to everything. And you know what? It was fucking amazing. I have enjoyed every step made in the snow and danced like a crazy motherfucker. After that did some chores with smile on my face. COCNLUSIONS: More preparation. Higher dose. Start living your life. Learn to let go. Everything is simple and easy, you just need to go for it. Have a vision of how you want your life to look like. There are many levels of understanding, prepare for that so you don't end up dumbfounded.