Girzo

For me it's not a fear of success. It's simply a fear of taking up a challange and failing at it. Failure is what you try to avoid, but you need to understand that without the possibility of failure there is no possibility for success. Just do and don't think too much about this. All that fear is created by you and you need to know that you can control it, it just takes some effort and patience. Fear is not something that comes from the outside world, it's an inner reaction to certain things and it's in your power to choose how that reaction looks like.

@The Monk Nah, I don't think that doing bad habits is that bad, if you keep on doing your good habits everyday and consistently improve at them, even by a little, slightiest bit. It should gradually build enough awareness to discourage you from doing things you don't really want to do, aka "bad habits". Don't worry about it and test this idea in action, it's the only way to know if it will work for you. It works for me, it may work for you. Is it the best approach? Probably not, but it's relatively easy.

Hah, it's funny and sad at the same time. I do it all the time. I always try to start as low as at the very beginning, like for example 5 minutes of meditation. But I am OK if it spontaneously turns out to be 40 minutes and I am OK if it's only those 5 minutes that I have had in my mind when I started. The best advice I can give is to try to avoid binge actions at all cost. It's not a problem if you came back to your bad habit and played games for 1 hour, but it becomes a problem when you start to use that as an excuse to play one more hour, and one more, and one more... until you end up playing for 12 hours straight. And you tell yourself: "It's only today." It's much worse than playing for an hour two days in a row. And regarding your last question, I would try to do the smallest thing realted to those habits everyday, so you don't forget about them and maybe some day it will spontaneously turn out to be a good day for that practice and you will easily come back to it.

I don't know a lot about running, but it logicaly seems so. Just imagine the amount of energy it burns and how much repair body has to make in order to sustain that regimen. No wonder you feel miserable after such training, you basically destroy and have to rebuild yourself every week. I have such a feeling that what is said in this video directly addresses the root of your emotional struggle and it's just about 3 minutes, so there's no reason not to watch it right now.

I didn't have time to read a whole thread, so maybe it was already mentioned. BUT Ask yourself: "Why am I thinking about this at all?". Isn't it because you are afraid that you won't be able to sustain that relationship and try to cling to the thing you know? Maybe it's just a fear of unknow speaking through you. Then I would recommend trying the relationship thing.

@Nahm True, but there is a trap with this approach, beacause you can become so fearless and good at accepting rejection, that nothing will push you to change. So it's good to also stay grounded and look at the results, if they are not what you want then you have to seek solutions. You can become overconfident in the sense that your confidence is way higher than your skills. The thing is not to lower your confidence, but to increase your skills. The best solution for me is to develop both of them at once in a balanced manner. @Jonson But since you have said that "I know all the principles about dating in theory", then Nahm is giving you the right advice. Just don't forget to go back and review everything you know when you gain more emotional mastery. Please, don't fall into the trap of being a guy who is not getting any results and never feels bad. Never feel bad, but strive for results.

I have once experienced being strucked by lightning while falling asleep. I mean feeling like it, not an actual lightning hitting me. A real pain, electric shock through the body and a sound louder than anything I have ever heard. So yeah, stuff like this can happen. It is a sleep paralysis. Most of the times when I experience it there are just sounds, like a phone ringing or someone calling my name. Feeling pain is rare, but possible. I have heard that the same stuff can happen when meditating, I haven't experienced it during my practice, but it's good to be open for a such possibility.

Man, what are you asking for? Here is a bussiness idea for you: cleaning carpets, you can make like $10,000/month doing that if you live in a city big enough. Almost anything is a valid bussiness idea, the key to success is in execution. Read The Millionaire Fastlane by MJ DeMarco so you get basic knowledge about bussiness, then seek knowledge and oppurtinities in the niche that interests you the most. You will have to learn a lot anyways, and no "insights from people experiences" will help you with that.

That shit happens again and again for me. I am thinking "Man I felt so cool last week, what was different back then? Oh, I was meditating. Why did I stop, I don't know." So the thing is to notice that and get back to practice ASAP. I never had a meditation streak longer than 14 days, but it's getting better for sure.

Man, I can totally relate. *** I went on Erasmus to Spain with few guys and gals from my school. So there she is, my classmate, the most gorgeous girl in school (we have like 30 girls and 900 guys in school, so it's not that hard to get that title xd). Travel and the first few days were just fun, fun, fun. She was subtly hitting on me, but I also wanted her, so I was teasing her a lot. Laying on the same bed, some physicality, but calibrated, since friends were always around. Some stupid jokes in the city, being funny, building connection between us. And then came the night. I bought some Georgian vodka ("Wódka, please" everyone understands) for all of us (10 people) and we drank that pretty fast. So here we are, drunk, young, laughing and joking around. At some point I had said "Caroline, let me show you something", grabbed her hand and took her outside on a little balcony (1x2 meters). I had my iPod (thanks Steve Jobs) in hand and said "Do you know my friend George Michael?". I had put an earbud into her ear, and one into my ear and we were dancing on a balcony facing Granada's beautiful main street at night, listening to "Careless Whisper". It was the most sloppy dance ever, lol, the earbuds were constantly falling off, but I still believe it was great idea . A lot of fun, we were doing that for at least an hour, I had a lot of weird 90' songs on the memory and some songs to sing and some funny ones, felt nostalgic at that very moment. The progression had to be made at some point, so I tried to kiss her. She stopped me, thought for a second and said "I can kiss with you, but please don't take that as something serious, I just want it.", "I feel the same." I said. (I was lying, for me it was serious, it was the first time I kissed a girl, I was boiling inside from emotions, but tried to hold a poker face, lol). So here we are dancing, kissing and not giving a fuck about the rest of the group. At some point she tells me she needs to go back to her room to visit a toilet and says I can go with her. The grin on my face was telling everything. I felt respect to how she handled the situation and made it totally normal and innocent for us to leave everyone. I guess it was easier for us to hook up, because we were 19, not 16 like you and the girl. I regret not having condoms, I would have pushed a little bit further than just using hands, but it was still cool as it was my first experience with any girl. Now it feels a little bit weird to spend time with her alone, but we are good colleagues. *** The point is that even I have went further than you, I still have felt the same as you afterward. The exact same thought-loop. The thing with mind is that it always wants more and more and I think that you should be satisfied with what you have achieved, because you have done a great job. You need to set proper expectations, you won't be a social God after meeting one girl, you will need a lot of training. I believe that the right thing to do now is to try to forget about the girl and start to meet other girls. I wish you success! And a lot of failures, so you can grow a lot. Oh, I have almost forgotten, self-acceptance exercises work great in that kind of situation, too.

There is a third option. A little bit more risky of course, but not that much if you do the math. It is to start a bussiness, grow it and then sell. That might suit you best if you are an entrepreneurial type. With a pile of cash you could easily buy a house anywhere you want and then invest the rest of money, so you would be able to pay taxes for your property. It's like struggling 10 years to have a successful bussiness vs. slaving 30 years to repay a mortgage. And I know one could say that your bussiness will most probably fail, but the mortgage isn't that safe either. Just take a look back to 2008 and a housing crisis in the USA and West Europe. Or look what's happening right now in the USA with hurricanes.

An irresponsible one I can't help you much, but there are other things than psychedelics, you don't have to rush, life is long enough for different methods to work. Have you ever tried any retreats?

Almost everyone dreams every night, it's just that most people are not trained to remember their dreams. If someone wants to test that thesis, then start a journal and try to write down what you have dreamt about every morning. You will quickly start to notice that not only you have had a dream, but also that it has been more like 3 or so of them. I can totally relate to your question. I also have vivid dreams about relationships with people, especially after good self-inquiry, self-love or meditation session.

I am not sure if you are looking for advice, but if yes then I feel like reading "The Millionaire Fastlane" by MJ DeMarco would be of great benefit to you. It can give you a solid foundation for money making and every other thing you are willing to do in life. It will change your mindset.

Cold showers doesn't impress me. I can just take them with almost no hesitation. Winter or summer, doesn't really matter. So if someone is reading this and doesn't get the hype, then don't worry, you are not the only one. I have nothing against cold showers, I take them often, but it's not really that hardcore for many people.

Hey guys, today I got an insight, it went like this: Affirmations are often sentences with your beliefs that you repeat often and consistently over the time to train your subconscious mind. But why stop here? Affirmations are great questions to contemplate. I feel like both these practices combined together have an enormous power. You come up with affirmations, then contemplate the shit out of them until it clicks and you Know they're true, then repeating them is no longer the same. I hope it will help some of you!

To me it sounds like a normal lucid dream. And yeah, I can agree that reality chcecks doesn't always work, that's why I do at least a few, before deciding to jump through the window (looking at hands and counting fingers, poking things, looking at hour or text a few times, jumping up and feeling less gravity, breathing while holding a nose, etc.)

I feel like you focus too much on division between "happy period of life" and sad one. Obviously you feel like a piece of shit. You should always expect that. It goes in circles, around and around. Whenever you get any progress the wounded ego strikes back trying to survive and puts you in homeosthasis. It's a process, feeling good and bad are parts of one thing. If you have choosen a practice you should stick to it and come back to it as soon as you have noticed you stopped doing it. Don't make division between "back then" and "now". It's a trap in which I have fallen many times, beware - be aware.

Man, I am sending you love, tons of love, rays of warm light through your computer screen. And I'm not gay. Because I know what you are feeling, I feel the same, my parents were often distant, literally and metaphorically. To resolve that problem I am currently doing self-love practice based on Leo's video about self-acceptance. I have set up timer for an every day of the week to help me remember about it. I have heard that these books are great. Haven't got time to read them yet. The Dark Side of the Inner Child by Stephen Wolinsky The Family by John Bradshaw (almost all his books are on topic and might be helpful for you)

When you will put all these great things into practice you will see that there's no need for friends who are into self-help.

I don't think there's enough people on board to create any meaningful groups, so creating a sub-forum would be an overkill. But you can always check out this thread and reach out to people who live in your area:

I think that this excerpt from The Impersonal Life might help you with your struggle. Relax yourself, take a few deep breaths and read it with open mind. The I in this text is your Enlightened, Impersonal Self, the Real You. BTW I find this book a real goldmine for self-inquiry topics.

@How to be wise it's like saying there are no side effects to thinking all day about sex or killing yourself, because you are not consuming anything. That's not true.

@Christos but that's exactly a problem, he wants to buy a ground and work for it 15 years to pay a mortgage. For me that's a definition of being a modern slave, capitalism, workaholic, good consumer, etc. If his goal was to go into nature and connect with people, like you say from self-sufficient communities, to help them and contribute, then I guess no-one would be against it. Instead, it seems like Moreira is trying to avoid growth he needs and just fake his peace by escaping from people.

@Leo Gura and because of that he seems like a handicapped person. I guess no-one on self-actualizing path really wants to be like a full-blown child, because there's no need to. It just makes you look handicapped.