Girzo

God has infinitely many limited, relative life purposes. Your life is like a frame in a movie which is God, your life purpose is like a pixel in a frame that contributes to something bigger than itself, nevertheless, without the frames there wouldn't be a movie. Remeber that so-called 'ego-death' is not really a death, in my opinion it's more like a switch of perspective.

#7 +- I have skipped school in order to work on stuff people bought from me yesterday. There wasn't anything interesting going on anyways. +- I drove to McDonalds for free coffee. Coupon clipping mentality all the way. +- I did binge eat, but only good stuff, and only after I had finished running. +- 20 minutes of meditation only. +- I am in a weird mood where I want to talk non-stop and I am kind of very friendly. + I have experienced few moments today that simply can't be put into the words. It's not that they were very profund, but non-symbolic nevertheless. It's like the whole world stops, but things are happening anyway and you don't feel bad about the way your life is, and you almost get that everything that happens is democratic and feels close to samadhi from what I have read. I haven't experienced it yet, but I feel like I am going to experience that thing that people call samadhi. Maybe 40-60 hours od SDS more and I will get there. But I don't have any expectations really, it's just monkey-mind writing. +- Yeah, I am too talkative today.

#6 + I have written cold calling script, so bussiness habit goal for today is almost completed. + I have got $68 in sales today. + 1 hour of SDS meditation. + Physical pain from taking psychedelics has disappeared completly. (it took 48h) + I did strength training and running. - I feel like I don't have enough time and I am afraid of burnout.

#5 - Effects from taking psychedlics slowly fade, yet my muscles are still somewhat tense and heart aches a little bit. - I didn't do proper meditation today. - I took a friend and we went to a Toastmasters meeting. It sucks, I don't know if it just was a bad day or it always sucks like that. I won a hot questions contest there. + I started bussiness habit with a friend. We have created a board on Trello with goals for tommorow. Baby steps. + I feel more socially aware and overall in a very good and funny mood, but on the other side maintainig this state makes me tired AF.

There might be an easy fix for your problems, just stop meditating before sleep. Do it during a time when you are the most awake. This should at least reduce your unpleasant experiences.

#4 - My heart aches from muscle tension created by al-lad. + I have meditiated SDT for 1 hour as good as never. - I had a dream about kissing a girl that I have kissed before, but now she has a boyfriend. It was a pleasant dream, but after waking up it felf like a nightmare and I couldn't sleep. + I am in a good mood and feel much more stable emotionally compared to a week ago. - For some weird reason school stresses me out, I never have had that. + I enjoyed a cool walk through the forest in the sunshine today. Total silence, total calmness and trees full of colors. Yellows, reds, browns and greens bringing smile to my face.

#3 + I have taken half a tab of AL-LAD, feels good. + I have grasped that ordinary is extraordinary and extraordinary is ordinary. + I have partially grasped that God hides behind the Devil's mask. (both insights are more a results of meditation, but al-lad boosts the process and reconnects you with your body nicely)

#2 + I have watched movie with friends. - I haven't talked with any girl and didn't go clubbing today.

I have a friend with Tourette's. He had ticks and no doctor could determine what his illness is. So he went to bigger city, did DNA tests and it turns out he has Tourette's. Now he has a right prescription, takes drugs and has no ticks. So the solution is simple, if you think you have some illness then go to some doctor. If he says that you are well, but that doesn't convince you then you should go and take some DNA tests, these will tell you a truth.

I am somewhere in-between picture I and picture II. After two years of knowing about enlightment I finally start to feel a desire towards the Truth.

Bold decision to make, but totally possible to acomplish. More and more people are throwing their studies and looking for alternative path. If you decide to make that change then mind homeosthasis. Making drastic changes to one's life can be a really hellish experience. You may also experience a burnout after a few months of hustling with work&travel lifestyle, especially if you haven't done that in the past. Nevertheless, I think it's still totally worth it! (But don't take my words too serious, I have been working abroad only for two weeks)

Great article on communication that I can recommend for you is right there. Have a nice read!

Maybe they can bend the reality, but you don't know about it. Maybe they do that all the time in other universes inaccessible for you at the moment. Maybe they will never be able to do that in this universe you live in, as it's You, The Real You who desire for it to be in a such way.

If you have no success at pick up then stop it and start developing yourself in other areas in life. Positive effects of that development will overflow onto the pick up practice as time goes by. You have my word for it.

Creating valuable content. That means writing things that people actually want to read. When you have that, where and how you publish it doesn't matter. Practice writing, practice, practice... (or focus on marketing, then it's all the other way around) Have you ever heard of Fiverr.com? Here you can hire someone to do basic stuff like setting up a Wordpress for $5, so you don't need to bother with learning all that stuff, focus only on things that make the difference, that distinguish you from others (almost every girl I meet nowadays thinks about starting a blog or something similiar). Choosing between Squarespace or Wordpress is not important at all. If you want to make a good living from it I can already tell you that you've choosen a wrong niche. You need to have that drive to be the best and be successful to profit. Mediocre bloggers in that niche earn pennies. You will probably need to build a personal brand, it involves a lot of stuff like Facebook and Instagram marketing, great communication with your audience (you can't slack that off), featurings in others' content, etc. - basically your whole life needs to be structured in order to support that goal. Seeing from your post that you want to be a pilates instructor and own a bussiness I can already see that it won't fly. You will be too distracted to succeed. The idea for your content doesn't seem appealing and unique. Your question about platform shows that you have no idea what you get down to. If I can suggest something, that would be trying to write about things you write about in your post and publish it on journals sections of this forum. You would get some valuable feedback from people potenially interested in that type of content and see if your idea of starting a blog has any grounding, if people will like your content.

@Scholar Yeah, unnecessary complication is just another distraction. (And to be honest I do that alot, so thanks for your post, it's helpful in recognizing that.)

Just do it and we will see. The idea seems great. What decides wheter it will be good or not is your execution of that idea. Both the content and technical quality of recordings have to be on a high level in order to make people interested in listening to your stuff.

@Wes Thoughts Hey, maybe you will like this video:

@egoless Yeah, I agree you can't possibly show your whole personality in the nightclub, but you still need to be confident, humorous and in the good mood, so not only good looks matter. The thing is there are lots of guys in those places and every pretty girl has many options, but these are mostly shitty options (observation confirmed by hot female friends), so it doesn't matter if the guy is good looking, you can still cut them out. Don't assume they are of high value just because they are better looking. On the side-note, if someone wants to meet girls in a more friendly and intellectual environment, then I recommend going to local Toastmaster meetings. I know a couple that has first met at one of those and now they are married. So nobody is sentenced to going to clubs, there are other viable ways too.

It IS that simple. I have just given you a roadmap, now you have to go to Google and do your research. Type in "How to stop caring about other people" and do the actual work. Put In some effort, like for example watch Leo's video on exactly that topic and practice what has been said in it. That's where the work begins, until then it's just mental masturbation. Lately I too had to man up and took psychedelics instead of non-stop thinking about taking them. It doesn't mean I took them mindlessly, I have done my research and prepared myself properly.

Is it to possible to read on AL-LAD? I plan on doing AL-LAD trip and reading spiritual texts during that as an aid for self-inquiry. I wonder if it's even possible. My main concern is that visuals after taking AL-LAD are too strong for reading small text. Have someone ever tried it? To what dosage were you able to still read? What about about other research psychadelics, like 1P-LSD, ETH-LAD, 4-HO-MiPT, etc.?

The thing with those deaths is that they are not deaths, beacuse nothing really dies. To illustrate that take a look at your own body. It consists of many individual cells, but you don't experience yourself as a cell, you have transcended that, so the human form that you are can exist. Does that mean the cell has died the moment you realized being a human? No, it's still alive, but you no longer have an direct access to it's perspective. It's the same with the death of a human form and becoming a God. Death is a death. I think that the distinction between physical and psychological is there to point a difference in how the experience feels in the beggining (you can feel the emotional or physical pain), but ultimately it's the same, because when you're dead... you are dead. I maybe wrong, but that's how I intuit.

It's like a three steps journey. 1. You have an anxiety. Step up! Don't care what other people think. Do the shit you want in the way you want. 2. Great, now you are an asshole and a total dick. BUT, you don't have an anxiety anymore and that's great. You can do whatever you want to and don't feel ashamed afterwards. Now you have to learn how to fit in. 3. You slowly become a social god. You have set up your own boundaries. You can be a dick when it's needed, you can be nice when it's appropiate. You are funny and you are okay with your own flaws and past mistakes. You become more and more aware of how social interactions work, because you study it from books and other materials, and also because you are analyzing your own interactions in a non-punishing way. I hope that helps!

For me it's not a fear of success. It's simply a fear of taking up a challange and failing at it. Failure is what you try to avoid, but you need to understand that without the possibility of failure there is no possibility for success. Just do and don't think too much about this. All that fear is created by you and you need to know that you can control it, it just takes some effort and patience. Fear is not something that comes from the outside world, it's an inner reaction to certain things and it's in your power to choose how that reaction looks like.

@The Monk Nah, I don't think that doing bad habits is that bad, if you keep on doing your good habits everyday and consistently improve at them, even by a little, slightiest bit. It should gradually build enough awareness to discourage you from doing things you don't really want to do, aka "bad habits". Don't worry about it and test this idea in action, it's the only way to know if it will work for you. It works for me, it may work for you. Is it the best approach? Probably not, but it's relatively easy.