john5170

My mind in "monkey" talk mode constantly envisions myself in scenarios where I am a "higher status" person and people look up to me. For example: a movie star, instagram celebrity, famous singer, etc. - I imagine it is me being that person, and derive events from that (fans, fame, other's jealousy, etc.). It is not negative, but it constantly bothers me because it is very distracting from the present moment. Anyone else do that? Anyone knows how to solve this and reach peace? Maybe, given the emptiness of my life - I need those thoughts to pump my ego up - but that's just a thought... Even my meditation sessions, I cannot focus because of that...

I guess I haven't come to those realizations, because as of now, "I" am in my brain. I can FEEL my brain being an entity, but the "I" is a product of the brain.

I have been meditating today, and I was able to detach my consciousness or 'spirit' from my mind. I could feel them as separate entities. The term 'you are not your mind, you are not your body' made a lot more sense. But that got me thinking, why when my body sleeps, my 'spirit' sleeps too? This means, that my spirit IS actually my mind, and I AM my body. Otherwise, my body sleeping would not have affected my 'spirit' being inactive as well. This means that after death, my spirit will die too. So therefore, I AM my body, and my 'spirit' IS my mind. Please correct me if I am wrong.

So work and social media encourages thoughts to come, but other activities do not? I feel like it is opposite for me, I go on social media to stop thinking about my day...

Over the past month, I have been meditating daily. I can stay aware of my thoughts, but I cannot clear them to reach presence for a long period of time. Maybe for 30 seconds, but then I get in my head again. At this point, I am not trying to clear my mind or control my thoughts, as it feeds the ego. So I just try to stay aware. Am I on the right path?

Anyone who has been meditating for more than a year, do you mind sharing your routine (for sitting down and meditating) ? Example : Day 1 - 20 minutes Day 2 - 1 hour Day 3 -....

This is related to those that have been meditating for more than a year. I have been meditating daily for several years now. The past couple of months I meditated for around 1 hour per day. I thought "more" = "better". But that is not true. I took a break for the first time for 3 days now, and did not meditate. And I felt more 'relaxed' in my mind than ever. Not necessarily present, but I felt that I do not need to 'try' to achieve presence, and it felt really good. So if a part of presence - by definition - is just 'letting be' and 'doing nothing', so doesn't the act of 'meditating' defy the 'doing nothing', because you are sitting down and 'doing something'. Meditation is a big time commitment, and I do not mind putting in the time if it is worth it. But now I am starting to doubt it. Maybe just being 'aware' throughout the day would be enough? Maybe I should meditate 1 day on then 1 day off? Can you 'experienced' meditators share your meditation routines?

I have been meditating for quite some time now. I never had really vivid dreams while sleeping. I do have dreams from time to time, but I do not remember the content. Recently, I have been having (once a week) very 'real' dreams where I am very clear in my thoughts and intentions and I incorporate very specific facts from my life. I also remember my dreams very well. What does this mean? Does it have anything to do with meditation? Am I growing (in terms of my mind expanding)? Is it just a random experience? EDIT: I just did some more research, and this is what a post on Reddit says (not sure if its true):

Enlightenment is a peak experience of your meditation session. I don't believe anyone (sane) walks enlightened all day. Note, I have only had a slight peak into enlightenment (and I am not sure if it was enlightenment at all).

Thanks for the advice. I will try the breathing. Is it possible to re-wire my brain if I go on Shrooms again and try to capture that child-like feeling, and replicate it in my life? has anyone tried that?

I tried shrooms and I noticed for a short period of time, my mind was like a child's mind. Happy, amused by small things, worry-free. Very similar to children. How to get a tiny dose of such effect without drugs? I am very serious and take things in life too seriously. And after shrooms, I realized that it is my brain chemistry that is blocking it.

What happened to him? I don't think it's just plain crazy. He seems to have reached enlightenment but his brain cannot handle it....

I tried to meditate under direct sunlight, and found that I cannot focus. My mind is just too hyper and distracted. Is it the sun affecting it? or is it just me? If it is the sun that is adding distraction, is it good to do some "stress testing" and meditate under difficult conditions?

I recently got some good mindfulness and am able to watch my thoughts, and therefore take all significance out of them. However, now I feel empty inside. There is nothing I look forward to, nothing I am excited about, and the feeling of 'presence' starts to feel very empty and boring. All my 'visions' or 'dreams' about my future are now just insignificant thoughts. I have sudden urges to fill the emptiness with movies, porn, music, food, Facebook, etc. but it is not working anymore and I still feel empty. (it is kinda working for a bit actually and then I feel guilty for disturbing my mindfulness - it is hard to explain but I think you guys will get it). I feel like I am on the right track and its part of the 'dark sides of meditation' as Leo mentioned, but I am just making sure. How long will this phase last? I need someone to re-validate my progress. P.S. I created this post also out of a feeling of emptiness. Just sitting down and nothing is happening in my mind, so I typed this post to get some feedback and to have at least something going on.

@Gopackgo Wow thanks for the response. I think my problem is concentration. Even reading your response I got distracted 3 or 4 times. Maybe I have ADD, who knows.