LRyan

If you watch Rupert Spira on Youtube his belief is that the highest form of Meditation is recognizing our awareness and being aware of our awareness is all we need. We don't need 20 years of meditating and hour a day to realize our infinite self. It's all right here right now if you understand what it is you are seeking. Not discounting meditation at all in any way but to be closed minded and think that it is the way and the only/best way to know our true self is to deceive your false self into performing something just for the sake of a means to achieve what we already have...

@Zenrik thanks for the input!! I don't have any need anymore to discuss anything from the past. It just doesn't matter to me anymore, I've realized that what I really am can never be touched by any experience, I just believe I am not this idea of who others think or say I am. I know myself now and I have let go of that stuff...

I would really like to hear some opinions on dealing with a traumatic childhood where there was alcohol abuse, emotional and physical abuse at times and neglect re: no emotional support from parents. So I have been on this journey to find spiritual enlightenment and I have been doing well, not focusing on any negative thought patterns and trying to stay in the present and I really feel that it's what I need and want and to be happy, I just need to choose it. I'm creating my own life, no one else. I'm choosing to be on this path to awareness and happiness. My dilemma is that I have a psychologist who now wants to start digging into my difficult childhood. He wants to do exposure therapy where I stare at pictures of my family for 30 minutes because he feels that I won't be able to look at pictures of my mom for fear from my childhood. I talk to my mom every day and take her out at least 2 - 3 times per week and we have a pretty good relationship. My mother came from an abusive family herself and I know that she didn't have the tools to be a mother but she married a man who drank and cheated on her. She also stood by while he physically punished us frequently. Here is my issue, in my thinking mind I believe I picked the mother I needed to learn the lessons I wanted to learn on this journey. Looking at this from a state of awareness, I don't feel it necessary to go back and bring up things that are over and settled. Yes my childhood shaped the trajectory of my life which has been a series of painful life experiences but I don't see how someone seeking spiritual awakening can go digging in the past. I have already been digging into my work PTSD in the past 1.5 years and I don't believe any therapy helped me at all. I actually was responsible myself for my healing because I turned to a spiritual solution. Can anyone please give their opinion. Yes I realize no one is a Dr. and I don't want anyone to think that what they say is going to have a medical impact on my life.....but there is no one I can talk to about what I am going through except the people on here who will understand my issue with Psychology practices today. They just want to do exposure therapy and feel that by looking at pictures of what bother you, all of sudden a miracle happens and you are fixed! Please give any input... Thanks, Lisa

@Shin I love you! Thank you!

@PureExp Yes, that's how I believe it to be also a UM. Yes I believe that as well...as long as the mind is identified with the false self which is the ego, then it will suffer. Once we realize that the universe does not make mistakes, it can't....then we know that we must be perfect and whole as we were created, we can't be anything but. That's when I truly realized my ego and the destruction and insanity it causes the human being. I'm so glad I found this site to re-iterate what deep down, I already know but maybe the mind needs the illusion of the computer screen with the words on it for it to sink in! lol!!

I watched this entire video last night and it really had a deep meaning to me. The way he puts things resonates with me and I really like how he explained how there is one consciousness, not every living human being has their own separate consciousness, that would be believing that there are 7 billion separate consciousnesses If you truly understand that then you will know that we are all connected to each other under a collective consciousness thereby dispelling the myth that we are all separate and alone experiencing the body and mind as separate from every other body and mind. This is the illusion that the false self creates. That's how I understood it

I like the videos, he has a good sense of humour as well! Thanks! I like the buddhist perspective for sure...

Oh....oops! I was wondering how an obvious comedian like him could actually write something serious and meaningful...Sorry I'm slow ! lol!

No, I only read the article.....Wow, this guy is a comedian I guess.

I think this is a great article. I can agree that I do a couple of the things on his list....which I wasn't aware of....More work to do on myself I guess...

Ok, thanks....I was thinking of going but I know he has a live stream offered as well for a lot of the satsangs.. It's an option too..

Has anyone ever attended any Satsangs with Mooji? There is an upcoming silent retreat in Portugal...

Thanks for all the insight! I agree with you but, I have a catch 22. I can't just start over with another therapist because I would have to go back to ground zero and I'm not sure I can do that after doing all this work on myself. I really believe that I don't need therapy that what heals me is the self actualization material. My problem is that I'm tied to this Dr. until I can escape by means of my "recovery". Without getting into all the details, I'm not free to just get another Psychologist, they have to be certified under a certain board in order for their services to be covered under my plan. There might be some newer age forward thinking "therapists" in town but they don't qualify so in order to complete my "rehabilitation" I am restricted by who I can use. At first it was ok because I was asleep/unconscious but in the last few months I have picked up my books and started reading again and it woke me up from my sleep. Now I'm in a position where it would not be in my best interests in some respects to just turn the table on this therapy so I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it without having to tell him that I believe that is was my own realization that is making me feel better. I don't know really what I am asking here. Actually I do.......if I tell the truth I really know that I am lying and I'm trying to find out how to lie and still feel good about myself which is obviously impossible....or how do I stretch this out far enough so that he will end the therapy so I can move on and he can file his reports OR do I just tell him the truth and possibly cause myself financial problems/future job insecurity and a host of headaches. Am I just acting out of fear of what might happen if I let on that I have worked on myself? He has already claimed that his methods were so successful on me and I didn't disagree. I feel like I have really messed up here. I truly find myself in this situation innocently. I can't help that I "woke up" and if I tell him about this he will think I am crazy and he may not be supportive and it may hinder my efforts to move on with my life... He already told me he doesn't believe in spiritual enlightenment saying it's all BS. Sorry folks, I didn't mean this to turn into a saga I was hoping there was a quick fix for the pain and suffering but I guess I have to decide do I want peace and to be authentic to my self or do I want my finances in order and my future employment in a safe space...... I am very torn up about what to do and my next appointment is Monday which is coming up too fast. I was considering saying I was too sick to go in......see where this is going.....Karma

There is no way to happiness happiness is the way...

Very powerful...thank you.

Yes I have been meditating for the last 2 weeks so I am a beginner but I have found benefits already. I would rather be alone than anywhere else and I love this forum so much.... Your message is very uplifting and I appreciate it very much!! It's not corny at all... You are right. We need to be truthful. I believe that too, if we accept the truth of our life situation we should be free shouldn't we? It's only the bit of fear that tries to sneak in that can disrupt things I think. Maybe just noticing if we are resisting the truth might help us live truthfully? I will have a look at that for sure. I have heard of Byron Katie! I did look into neuro feedback. I had never heard of this before. It's interesting and seems very new wave. If I lived in a large city I think I would have access to different therapies but I'm in a relatively small city with limited resources. You are so right, any emotional labor is difficult, so hard to do but really necessary. My attention has been drawn to Vipassana and I have spent hours looking up which retreats I might be able to attend. Of course I looked at India but I've never traveled alone and I have some reservations about that although I would love to book a flight and just go. There is a huge website that offers Vipassana retreats all over the world but there are so many to choose from and I'm trying to figure out how to pick one. I really think that would help me so much more than anything else at this moment.... If you are able to provide any guidelines for choosing a place I would truly appreciate that. I live in Canada but I am open to almost any destination. Thanks Leo Believe me, there are not many psychologists where I live that provide anything other than the standard type of therapy. I am not in a progressive area by any means. I understand your point about the process of taking stock of problems and just plain old talk therapy which does nothing but bring up old wounds and pain without really offering any way out of the suffering. I think that the standard model of Psychology doesn't address the main problem which in my "unprofessional" opinion..hehehe...is spiritual. I'm starting to see in myself that understanding what is truly at my core and what disturbs me the most is that I thought I was flawed because of bad things that happened to me but if I realize that I come from a perfect source straight from the universe than am I not whole and perfect as I am? Are we all not perfect and whole but we just don't realize it? I don't think a therapist can fix any of this......at least after a long time in therapy with no results, I've discovered once again that what I need, I already have. I just have to figure out a practical way to deal with my situation because every time I go to a session it makes me feel awful and sick and I suffer..

Thanks so much for the replies! I can see the point of a new Psychologist but any new one will only be the same..I'm very sure that there are none that are what Leo suggested unfortunately. I feel like once we know what we know, we can't go back and be tricked or fooled by things that don't resonate with our true selves... I really don't think focusing on what you don't want brings peace or closure right? I truly do feel like I'm "kickin ass" lol!! ....BUT....I'm in a trap where my therapy is a requirement due to my being away from work to deal with my workplace issues so I'm in a tricky situation where I'm against a rock and a hard place I'm really not sure what to do but for the last two sessions, it has caused me mental suffering to go there knowing that I am lying to myself and to him. When I am done rehashing things I am taken to the ground meaning that I feel I am reduced to nothing but my story and just playing it out in my head again and again...then it's taking me days to get back on track again. I can't do this too much longer. I'm at a loss for what to do except tell him that I feel better and I would like to move on with my life and then try to phase out this unhelpful therapy. Then I will really be able to focus on my real purpose which is peace, and to end my suffering. I really value everyone's opinion in this forum. I have been around here for a couple of weeks and I've seen nothing but good people trying to help each other to understand our true nature. Thanks so much Leo for providing this forum, it is really valuable....... so if anyone has any ideas how I can approach this and put an end to my therapy, please feel free to chime in!

Thanks for the reply. My Psychologist is more like a doctor. He is the opposite of new-agey....I'm not judging him but making an observation that he is obese and eats pastries and snacks during my session. When I tried to bring up the spiritual truths that I believe in he told me to forget about that and that all "those people" that I mentioned like Deepak Chopra and Dr. Wayne Dyer and Eckhart Tolle are all full of BS. This pissed me off and actually made my self study intensify. I'v tried to be open minded but he is very closed minded and very arrogant saying he is the best in North America at treating PTSD. He has told me he is very impressed with my progress. I didn't tell him that it is because I had intently started once again on my path of self-actualization and have been watching videos and studying how to pull myself out of my suffering. He believes it was his exposure method. He told me it's like I am a different person than before. I have also watched the video on Karma and now I am thinking that Karma will get me because I wasn't truthful with him about what caused the change in my behaviour. After I wrote my question I watched the video about letting go of the past and it helped me decide that what I truly want is to let it go because it isn't real, it's a story that I don't need to be a part of my life and it's not important at all in the scope of what I need to focus on so I'm glad that it helped me decide what I need to do. I do believe meditation would serve me much better. I just have to figure out how to deal with Karma.. that's tough...

Good for you for cutting that cord that just ends up strangling us anyway! I'm glad you are on a much better and healthier course. Thanks for the insight!

This really blows apart tons of spiritual enlightenment material that is out there. Does anyone find this shocking to read?

Wow, I am amazed that you took this journey and that you gained so much from it. It must have made such an impact on you. How did you like the Vipassana retreat? I am longing to do the same but I just wouldn't know where to start. I have an interest in the Chinese culture and people as well. I always pictured myself visiting there and staying to help in some capacity.... So good to hear that you found what you were looking for!

True...I see that my enlightened self wouldn't care about anything but the present. Why would ego care about a time where I seemed to have no ego consciousness? A time where I had no conflict nothing but joy... That is confusing but basically the only thathing that matters is the present moment so any focus on anything from the past that you want is ego?? Mooji videos? I think a lot of things throughout the day but a lot of my thinking is things from spiritual books I have read or I find myself saying positive things like, what a beautiful day or I am happy..... I really don't pay attention to the things I used to like my negative self talk that used to wrap my mind in an endless reel like a bad movie playing over and over. Is it only the ego that cares about enlightenment.....consciousness? Doesn't your soul gently push you towards it?

I don't know if this is just my ego trying to sabotage the good hard work I am doing on myself. The first time I experienced enlightenment was in 2005 after a physical injury. I read the book Inspiration by Dr. Wayne Dyer. I could not believe what was to happen to me. I walked around for 3 weeks and felt like a different person, nothing bothered me, I was happy, I looked at nature like a tree and a leaf like I had never seen it before. Things seemed perfect. Then I lost it....all of it...somehow my old self crept back in. Then a few years later maybe 2008 reading Eckhart TOLLE, I fell back into complete awareness and consciousness again but it was shorter lived, a week or so and then the old life crept back in. This has happened to me a couple of more times since then and very recently. Actually one week ago, same thing...I could not believe the moon and stared at it for a long while, I was truly deep down happy just being at home alone doing much of nothing, reading my self awareness books, Deepak Chopra...doing very well Monday...Tuesday some issues with staying present all day, little worse on Wednesday and you get the idea. I seem to only be able to find temporary states of complete consciousness and awareness and then they are gone. My belief about what might be happening is that I do fantastic on my own when I am alone but when I am in contact with my family most of whom are going through some seriously difficult times right now, I get brought right down to the ground and into the pit of their problems and despair. Then I find myself jumping into the ring saying things that I don't wan't to and then asking myself, why did I go there when I realize that it doesn't really matter what they are going through, it's not my problem to fix everyone's problems. Does ANYONE feel like they want to escape to a retreat to just focus on themselves and their work long enough to feel strong enough to keep your own beliefs strong without being immediately tested? Any input would help me...I feel confused about this and it's starting to creep more and more into my thoughts and when I notice the thought I am not feeding it but just noticing it gives me worry. I just want to move forward for a good stretch of time to get my feet on the ground but maybe that isn't realistic. Can anyone help please?

Sorry guys, I just realized that I can do a multi quote..... I wish I could meditate for 2 hrs! I've only been able to do about 20 minutes so far because I just started meditating and I find it tricky. Sometimes I try twice a day or whenever I am totally present throughout the day which is very often...