ShadowWalker

Thank you for the no-bullshit reply! If it were not clear from my topic, I consider myself an artist, and I am fully open to the possibility that I suck at marketing despite investing energy and learning and practicing. One part of what I feel is limiting me in this aspect is a notion that Oscar Wilde expresses the following way: "A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament. Its beauty comes from the fact that the author is what he is. It has nothing to to do with the fact that other people want what they want. Indeed, the moment that an artist takes notice of what other people want, and tries to supply the demand, he ceases to be an artist, and becomes a dull or an amusing craftsman, an honest or a dishonest tradesman." I suppose it is possible that I am extending this principle into the realm of marketing where it may not apply, but it often feels like the very things that make my art genuine and unique are that things that differentiate it from the norms and wants of mainstream culture. This leaves me with the choice of either watering down my art and becoming a craftsman or seeking out the minority that could appreciate its value appropriately to justify a reasonably high price. I would obviously opt for the latter but how does one even go about achieving that pragmatically? Over the years I've accumulated a decent following of over 10k people on my Facebook page taking photos of mostly alternative girls, but unlike Suicide Girls my work is focused more so on portraits and aesthetics rather than nudity. This is obviously a significantly less viable source of income with everyone interested in working with me playing the "it's free exposure" card, including major magazines. I've had photos of mine with thousands of likes and/or becoming editor's choice at virtually all of the photo-sharing sites, including National Geographic's platform, yet when it comes to print sales the numbers tell a completely different story. I don't want to be another artist crybaby about it, I'm determined to get better, not bitter, hence my interest in joining the forum. I am certain I still have a bunch of limiting beliefs as well as an ego I'm unconsciously protecting so your input and suggestions are all very welcome. Thank you once again!

It's one of those books that you can't share a quote from, because you want to simply highlight the entire book. Highly recommended.

Sounds like you're exhausted from keeping up the facade of your "acceptable" and "likeable" social image. This takes enormous processing power spent on micro-managing expectations from a point of reactivity. When you are coming from a frame of sharing and authenticity it's usually the other way around - you are relieved that you don't need to protect this front and you become open to the flow of energy, which ends up feeding and refreshing you. The solution however isn't to think your way around the problem, because for the most part being over-analytical IS the problem. The most effective way to break out of the patter is to focus on movement and/or breathing, as both can change your physiology and brain-chemistry, as well as engage different parts of the brain resulting in a more healthy, natural way of socializing.

^ Agreed. It's the shadow form of teasing, which mostly displays lack of empathy and social calibration. I'd say ironically it often speaks of low confidence. Men who are comfortable with the amount of value they provide, aren't desperate to bring a woman down to their level, and instead rely on attracting, rather than pursuing a girl with desperate means. When done right however, it can be an artful way to provoke emotions that do create attraction and ultimately the girl enjoys the roller-coaster experience, much more than a reserved and rather flat intellectual conversion.

I'll start with the caveat that it's fairly easy to give generous advice when it's someone else's kidney on the line. That said, here are some quotes I really like, that may serve as guidance: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” - Mark Twain And these are all from Matt Kahn: "To judge is to withold love from yourself. You can't do both at the same time." "In the heart of surrender, treating people far better than they treat you becomes an acceptable way to live, especially because their inability to treat you well has nothing to do with you, but reflects the kind of relationship they have with themselves." (from Whatever Arises Love That) "You're learning to be nourished by the love you give, not by the validation offered in response to your giving." Finally, don't let social pressure or the internet dictate how you should act. Agreeing to give your kidney from the role of victim/martyr would lead to even more resentment that will further erode your relationship, whereas if you are coming from forgiveness your sacrifice would lead to fulfillment and potentially resolve your painful memories of being mistreated. In my personal experience you can't force yourself to forgive someone - first you have to be able to forgive yourself for all the neglect and self-destructive thoughts and behaviour. Only once you have empathy for yourself can you extend it to those around you. Good luck!