ShadowWalker

There was a very good self-love video by Leo some time ago and it helped me a bit, but what made a 180 degree shift in my was following his recommendation to check out Matt Kahn's teachings. Listened to every video on his YT channel, read both his books and it blasted me into a whole different dimension. Hard to overstate how much he helped me in that regard.

Hey everyone, you may have seen some of my work as a photographer, and now I'm sharing a video I filmed for a great Irish musician. Hope you'll like it and feel free to check out his album (link in the description)

Love the variety in this thread. Here's a couple recent portraits I shot:

So unless it's my confirmation bias kicking in, you guys are mostly reiterating what I've learned and what I've tried to describe. Being independent, when it comes to ambitions is a lesson I've had to learn over and over, and for the most part I make sure that it's taken care of, but the flip side is that it becomes the new limit and/or comfort zone, when in reality interdependence and synergy are vastly superior. BTW regarding the women example - I live in the capital city, plenty of beautiful women around. I was talking about girls coming from small towns just to meet me, whereas in other cases girls or even simply close friends who live within a mile can't seem to "find the time" or opportunity to meet up. So taking the advice - instead of waiting for people to invite me, I am being proactive and patient, yet it's not working nearly as well as you'd hope and yet I'm not keen on giving up on social interactions in pursuit of "success" because my personal definition of success includes having meaningful social interactions. The next step of proactivity would basically be cold approach, which unless I'm rationalizing some limiting beliefs, seems like a highly inefficient way of building meaningful connections.

+1

In analysing the motivation for following through vs being unreliable I've boiled it down to the two usual suspects - potential reward and/or punishment. If someone has a high payoff they tend to be very dependable even without the threat of penalty for acting otherwise. Similarly if they perceive your interaction as a scarce opportunity they put in more effort than in the case of it being just another common option with low/moderate payoff and low penalty for putting it off. As a naturally tolerant person I have steered clear of punishment and focused on being someone people would want to interact with, at least in my idealistic view of the world and myself. The underlying idea is to save yourself the drama and negative emotions, disregard the "wrong people" and focus on those who are capable of appreciating you and the things you are offering. Reality, however, has consistently pointed out a flaw in my reasoning, and I feel I've reached a tipping point. Despite focusing exclusively on what's in my control, trying to improve myself and the value I bring to the table in all areas of life, time and time again, I am confronted with an epidemic of undependable, procrastinating behaviour from people who never fail to punish me for my patience and understanding, even if they otherwise genuinely like and respect me. The most common problem is people trying to preserve every bit of optionality, always giving me the same reply "I'll get back to you tomorrow/next week" and seldom following up. Or we make some appointment, something comes up, and they don't even bother to suggest an alternate time to make it happen, so I take the initiative and the whole thing repeats. I can anticipate it as being "the norm" in scheduling photoshoots with beautiful women, as well as in dating, but it also happens when I try to meet up with friends, even supposedly close ones. In an attempt to answer my own question, I acknowledge the fact that with high potential reward or punishment things look different - models are much more cooperative for commercial projects, and students who've paid in advance for a Photoshop course I'm teaching are much more likely to show up. Girls who think I'm out of their league will be keen to schedule a meetup even if they have to travel a couple hundred kilometers from another city whereas those that are being hit up by numerous high-quality prospects are hesitant even if they like me, for fear of missing out on all the cool other options, so I'm more of a "Plan B" for them. I get that. I'm not interested in making a moral judgement and "should-ing" all over myself with how I believe things need to be. I accept the way things work but not the status quo. So please, give me a straight answer, poke holes in my argument or assumptions if needed. Share what's worked for you to fix a similar problem, or how you never let it become a problem in the first place. Outframe the paradigm I'm in. I'm tired of being the only one who proactively honors his agreements - this has been a lifelong struggle for me, so I'm open for suggestions.

It's that time of the year so might as well shoot some roses:

There are 2 quite distinct ego structures according to Matt Kahn - the "superior" and "inferior" ego or as he explains them in other terms - the "narcissistic" ego and the "energetically sensitive soul". The descriptions are fairly self-explanatory, but the crucial part here is that most sensitive souls or inferior egos are trying to follow an old path aimed at superior egos, and wondering why they feel increasingly stuck and insecure. Actually the whole video blew my mind and it's filled with gems, wisdom and love of course, so I won't go into too many details. It was certainly eye-opening for me and an important reminded that I should recalibrate my goals and methods. Doing "the right things" at the wrong stage is not just futile, it can harm you. Highly recommend listening at least to the first 5-10 minutes if you don't have an hour for the whole thing

Fair distinction. I was asking based on the premise that we're engaging in a karmic return to the material world after the realization of absolute truth. Matt Kahn puts it quite eloquently: I've been thinking about taking the best of both worlds so to speak, by tackling slightly more mainstream topics or stylistics than I am naturally inclined, so that I am relevant to my surrounding and more relatable, yet imbuing the manner in which I approach and present things with the wisdom and depth I've cultivated through inner work. Sounds kind of abstract, but I think you've been achieving this very skillfully whenever you engage a more approachable topic and while I would appreciate tips, I also agree with your references to juggling or riding a tricycle.

I watched the video on True vs False Skepticism and Pyrrhonism sounds very much like an approach that is close to my intuitive way of looking at the world. I'm not claiming that I'm faultless at it, but simply that my default way of reasoning is more or less aligned with it. The benefits are fairly evident and well worth looking into it, but let's talk about some of the risks. It's a subject that's been on my mind lately, even before learning about this philosophy. True skepticism is indeed a great way to avoid delusion and dogmatic beliefs, but at what cost? Yes, in dualism truth is a matter of context, but beyond inner work, how relevant is this, in a world that does not tolerate ambivalence well? We all know media is especially guilty at being intolerant to nuanced information, but this also extends to the majority of normal people, and those who've achieved a high enough level of consciousness are not always in the mood for deep evaluation of subtle facts. Marketing is another good example - everything tends to have a niche, or obvious, even exaggerated characteristics. Being refined and well-rounded does not tend to translate into massive success, even if it is a good foundation for sorting out your inner state and dissolving delusions. Even in dating you are far more likely to have an abundance of options if you fit into some type or "brand", that is recognizable to your potential partner. When people can't easily put a tag on you, they don't know what to make of you and in the interest of preserving mental power they tend to unconsciously ignore you or even assume you are malicious or disingenuous. A couple quotes come to mind: "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom"- William Blake "Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess." - Oscar Wilde As well as the phrase "extreme views, weakly held" What are your views and experience? Do you have any heuristics when it comes to choosing whether to apply skepticism and/or moderation, and to what degree?

@AndreiC Lovely balance through complementary colors, themes, etc. Where can we see her portfolio?

@Laisa Nice work! Thank you, I have profiles on most photography sites, if that counts. Also, Fb and Instagram: Facebook page Instagram

Already posted some of the pretty ladies I've shot, so for a change:

Yeah too many variables depending on maturity, level of consciousness, and goals in life to come up with any reliable answer. From my experience idiosyncrasies tend to have a bigger effect on relationship happiness and fulfillment. If I am to generalize I would say the classic combination of younger woman and older man works well for various reasons: women tend to reach emotional maturity earlier so men their age tend to be infantile and inconsiderate. On the flip side older women often seem slightly jaded, apathetic and intimidating to men their age, who would prefer a woman to practically look up to them with awe and enthusiasm. Women tend to be attracted to mature masculine energy, which usually manifests itself later in life, both intellectually, socially, spiritually, but also often times even in terms of appearance. Many men on the other hand are drawn like a magnet to the freshness and excitability of a young woman, not to mention her beautiful appearance, although I should note there are obviously women who not only maintain their looks but even become more attractive as they transition from being a pretty girl to becoming an enchanting woman. And before we get too serious:

I have just the thing for you