dystopia

I can never get rid of my addictive tendency, entirely. I replaced nicotine with candy and beer with sparkling water and soda (not the harmful kind but Zevia which is 0 cal and sweetened with stevia). I still really miss doing those things and joining a gym has also helped distract me. I have also developed other hobbies. I tend to eat a lot more bread, too. Without replacements and distractions, I don't know how I would have gotten over drinking and smoking. Has anyone succeeded in curbing addictions, entirely? Like, really succeeded. How?

My name's Lanna & I'm a 26 year old female. Born in Brazil & living in Florida. Occupation: something exhausting and horrible just to pay the bills (that I want to get out of asap) Divorced & no kids. I would consider adopting but I have never seen myself getting pregnant, or had any desire to. My beautiful life, in a nutshell: I was raised by a single mother who was always too busy working, was emotionally unavailable, and was verbally and physically abusive. I grew up painfully shy, having low self-esteem, with depression and anxiety. I had no support, no hope for the future and no idea what to do. I developed an eating disorder that would haunt me for years to come. I dropped out of high school as soon as I was old enough and started working part-time jobs. I met this guy, online, who I fell in love with. He came down to see me and I went away to live with him, as soon as the opportunity presented itself; quite eager to get away from the heated, incessant arguments with my oppressive mother. We got married a couple of years later & he changed after that. He was super jealous and seemed to try to keep my from making new friends. My friends were his friends and I never really got close to his family. Our arguments escalated to the point where he became abusive (I won't go into detail). I was suicidal for a very long time & believed life was pointless. Then I discovered a website: highexistence I learned things that somehow made the world make more sense (such as the truth about no self and several new age thoughts). I haven't visited that site in years but I joined the community and what I learned on their forums and from the website's blog opened my eyes in a way that nothing else ever had. It gave me the strength and the courage to find myself, value myself again, and leave my ex-husband, for good. Personal challenges I've overcome: Lost my childhood "chub" Also overcame most of my shyness Learned to manage my depression and anxiety without medication I left my abusive ex-husband Quit drinking, cold turkey, by myself & 138 days sober today Got into Yoga Quit smoking and vaping Feel more grounded, secure, and clear-headed than ever What I'm working on now: Working on deeper personal development Working on improving my health & diet Working on being truly Independent Getting into meditation & living in the present moment Trying to truly overcome all addictions and stop procrastination Getting more into Yoga & running Improving my sewing and craft skills Honing my skills so that I can build a dream career & life

I get that having a "thick skin" is useful in this harsh world but how far is too far? How do you know when you have the right balance? Is it ok to be sensitive? Is being too open about your emotional sensitivity good, or can oversharing be harmful? I admit, I am kind of emotionally sensitive. I have gotten better and I don't feel like I need people's approval but I have felt it as a "weakness", in the past. I also tend to hide my sensitivity and pent up a lot of emotions because I don't trust other people enough to be open. Which leads me to think: would it really be a good thing to be open, anyways. I understand controlling your emotions but what's the difference between control and suppression? Is there a difference?

Which one was that?

The one that had the most impact on me was actually a recent one: Does Free Will Exist? It really got me thinking about things in a whole new light. I never questioned the fact that free will existed until watching it because to me there was no way it didn't. Also found the Clare Graves' model & Science Vs. Religion truly fascinating. And the How To Stop Caring What People Think, as others have mentioned.

There's no real fix for this, in my experience. Everything becomes stale, repetitive, dull, or just not as fun as it was when it was fresh and new. This can happen months or years into something. That is why so many people start things. Starting is easy. The hard part is persevering, or seeing it through to the end. That is what separates an achievement from an attempt. It happens to the best of us. My advice would be to get continual inspiration. Tired of doing work at your desk? Change the venue. Look up quotes or the actions from those your admire. Be more grateful & excited for little things. Work on balancing your chakras. Maybe look to new ways of doing things, even try and be unconventional. Work on your diet. Keep doing spiritual work. If you still find it hard to stick with this, consider the possibility that this particular path is not for you & do some inner work to find out what it should be. As Leo said, self-development is a life-long thing.

Two things that have worked for me: Get yourself into a quiet, meditative state. 1. Go back to the bad memory and let yourself feel it/re-experience it, but don't dwell on it, too long. Then, imagine a more favorable outcome. Convince yourself that the outcome you're imagining/the way you manipulated the memory to be favorable is what really happened! Get really detailed & make it feel real/plausible. Then remember it that way. It's kind of like implanting a false memory (which is possible, I've read) (or, if you want:) Then, forget about it. No need to keep going back to something that worked out just fine, right? Don't treat it with so much severity. You can convince yourself of anything if you really want to. 2. Go to the bad memory and imagine it is like a movie in a screen. Now picture that screen getting smaller and/or farther away. It appears smaller and smaller until it vanishes. Then feel the relief of watching it shrink and disappear. I'm no expert but I made these up & it's worked for me, several times. Worth a try, eh?

I feel you. I'm 26 with no kids, crappy job, not many accomplishments, nothing significant. I also have always kind of felt like I'm always "late" to do everything. Everything feels like it takes longer for me. I'm working on finding my life purpose. For now, I am doing things I really enjoy (forcing myself to) like sewing, drawing, writing, etc. I'm hoping I can make enough money off one of my hobbies so that I can quit my awful job. Sometimes I feel hopeless but I'm doing my best to be optimistic. For a long time, I was stuck in a cycle of binge-drinking and other self-harming behavior. I quit drinking all by myself, without support, because I decided to. You can do anything ONCE YOU'RE READY! I have had anxiety, bulimia, and depression on and off since I was young but I've never taken medication. I strongly believe that you can fix your own problems, no matter what. It is HARD but anything worth doing is. You have to let go of the victim mentality, like Leo says. So my advice is not to worry about how other people are doing things & how fast & do what works for you. In addition to Leo's videos, I found this chick named Teal Swan (on YT) that posts a lot of helpful things, mostly about spirituality. She has a video called Find Your Negative Imprint, Find Your Life Purpose and it helped reaffirm my life purpose, for me. Hang in there.

I usually get INTP.