dystopia

@Nomad I looked it up & read the summary. It does sound perfect, thank you. @Rasmus oh, you mean other women have gone through worse? There are other people who have had differing experiences from me? Wow, I never would have thought. That is truly insightful. I never would have known that differentpeople go through different things & have different ways of handling their problems, if it weren't for you. King Rasmus. Truly an inspiration. I'm a whining, pathetic loser, & I should just go kill myself. Thank you, Rasmus. We are not worthy.

@kalter000 thanks.... @Rasmus you kno what I just realized something. You remind me a lot of my ex husband. He thought he was fucking infallible. He was just a fucking coward. He beat the shit out of me. I cried and he laughed. Every time I made the smallest mistake (especially on something he asked) he would make me feel like trash. He would grab by the hair and slam me into the wall. I lost my temper and threw stuff at him a couple of times. I wound up with a few more bruises. I thought I could handle myself. I refused to let him break me. But in reality I was a complete and utter wreck. Guess what, bitch, people like you & him are the pathetic ones. He was an arrogant holier than thou asshole. I found the strength to leave him. You can't make me feel the least bit guilty. I am on a public forum, pouring my heart out, hoping for growth. I am bettering my fucking life. You are sitting there trying to make someone feel less. Good job.

Oh don't worry I will stay far the fuck away from you. Worry not, friend. Don't worry mister holier than thou. I'm sure you've never made a single mistake or done anything morally questionable ever huh. You are a true saint. A god. Everyone bow the fuck down to Rasmus guys he is perfect & I am pathetic. Listen, bruh, I am having the panic attack of my life right now. Please leave me alone. @kalter000 daddy tell him to leave me alone lol. It's a joke. I am joking. My arms and face is numb reality is fuckrd. It's just a prank bro. I am trying g to keep my sanity but I feel like I'm in another dimension rn. Breathe don't die. Breathe don't die breathe don't die Please hurry up and ascend to your immortal throne Rasmus! Lest you waste another second being subjected to petty mortal foibles!

I just did, please see my previous reply to Isle. Oh physical pain absolutely makes it worse. I was exhausted from the work week, then felt pain from the chiro on top of that. Everything I was bottling up spilled out. My chiro suggested I ice my neck if I feel sore. I'm about to. Yes, I'm the type of person who freaks out immensely when I don't have financial stability. Especially now that my roommate is moving out in a few months when the lease expires, I depend on using his car a lot & here is what happened. I crashed my car last December. It was declared totaled. So long story short, my insurance sky-rocketed, and I didn't have enough money save up to get another car, nor can I afford the insurance, at this rate. Then, on top of it all, I get fired from one of my jobs. NOT from incompetence, mind you. I worked at a laundromat, doing wash dry fold service for people who wanted to drop off their laundry for a fee. I also kept the place as clean as possible. I worked my ass off on my down time. I got them so much more business that the decided they don't want to pay me any more because they can afford a pro cleaning service and my co-worker will take over my shifts simply because she had been there longer. Like I said, my mother has never offered me emotional support. She was my only parent, too. I have learned to be as strong as possible, especially around her, because if I ever show any kind of "weakness" she literally just scoffs and calls me a drama queen. It sucks so bad to have to ask her for anything. She won't let me hear the end of it. She makes me feel like I owe her a lot already. I'm having a severe panic attack. Trying to focus on breathing but my arms are tingly and going numb. Yes I do have a place to sleep & eat. I do normally try to be grateful for the little things. I swear I haven't had as big of a break-down in a long time. I hadn't had a panic attack in over a year. Ok. Yes. I did not drink last night and I don't plan on doing it today. I have no desire to fall back into it, I would just feel too awful. Ok uhm. I don't like therapists. I've seen them before. I don't know how to answer this, right now. I do sometimes feel like....if I was abetter person I wouldn't do such things like allow a friend to cheat on his gf. but I just don't care. It oesn't bother me in the least. It's stupid but I feel like sinc eI have known him so long he should be more considerate of me. He is much less now that he has agf. which is how it should be I guess but.... shit my my mom just said she's gonna stop by after work. ok I need a break my arms are serioulsy going numb I'm gonna go walk around.

@Isle of View I went back to him, just now. I think the problem is that I missed a couple of days of treatment & he was too rough on me the day I came back. He says it's easy to undo the work if you miss appointments. He messed with my neck a lot & it's sore again but hopefully it'll be fine. I will not watch the video at this moment because I can be a bit of a hypochondriac and I got a huge panic attack while I was waiting for the chiro (if I have symptoms in the video, I'll freak out more). I'm still trying to calm myself. He was really cool about it and reminded me to breathe from my belly. I appreciate your input.

@Kelley White "Thank you so much for being so courageous and strong" idk why but I'm crying because of this comment. No one ever fucking acknowledges how strong I've had to be for so long. Nice to meet you too. I will reply to the rest of your post when I come back from my chiro appointment. @Neill Bolton thaank you for taking the time to respond. I thought Leo said in one video that you are responsible for everything that happens to you ? Maybe I took that the wrong way. You're right. I think I need to come up with some sort of plan, this weekend. Thank you <3 @kalter000 thanks you really understand me. I had a huge panic attack last night I was pacing around, crying, really feeling it. I think I can progress from here. I'm trying not to be swallowed by negativity. I just watched Aladdin so I'm feeling a little better. @Rasmus well, ok. I tried telling that dumb bitch but she stays with him. I don't care if you judge me. I don't feel bad about it. I feel bad for how he is treating me. Yeah, I guess I'm a little self centered. @Emerald Wilkins ok I guess they don't have power if you don't pay attention to them...I will have to work on that because I tend to not deal with my emotions but then they all build up and I break down, like last night. Maybe that's still too advanced for me jfc. It's ok and I appreciate it. Thank you so much, guys. I do not regret posting this here. I feel less alone now

@Nomad @FindingPeace @Philip @Neill Bolton @Sarah_Flagg @Rasmus @kalter000 @Truth if you guys have any input whatsoever that would be dope I like you guys. Halp I'm drowning

@Emerald Wilkins thank you, beautiful. You are so much more advanced at this stuff than I am. I sort of get it. Tbh it makes me feel kinda worse because it's like wow I'm complaining for no reason I'm trash life is pointless I get more depressed..

@lala remember the things that bother you about other people are usually things you don't like about yourself. It is possible to feel proud and still be humble. It's a subtle balance. If you are letting fear of judgment limit you, then you do need to work on your self-esteem. Make sure you watch Leo's video How to stop caring what other people think, if you haven't. Why is it that you don't want to stand out? Are you ashamed of your accomplishments? Try being less harsh on yourself. Even getting out of bed can be an accomplishment (for example for someone who is clinically depressed). It's all about perspective & you can work to change yours.

Really great. Love Joe Rogan. Have you seen his stand up? He is hilarious

I live music I listen to it all day. I listen to mostly edm, metal, and hip hop. I love kpop because whenever I'm feeling negative it really lifts my spirits: Grimes is my fav right now omg:

@FindingPeace You upvoted all my posts again yay you are an angel. Yeah, I wish more people would do that too. The problem of filling your life with habits just to forget your internal turmoil wouldn't be so bad if more people were taught to introspect. Of course, people would still find a need to fill their empty lives, as you said. I grew up in a family who loves drama. Everyone's always arguing, using emotional manipulation, and being vindictive as hell to guilt the other person into submission (because fuck logic). It's a terrible habit but I still am not fully over it. I think that's what happened yesterday. It's cool that you're immune to the bullshit tactics I was taught @Nomad . I need people like that in my life. Bad things come out when I'm on autopilot. That must be why I have. A fear of exploration holy poop. Because I don't trust myself to make good decisions quick enough. Life moves too fast for me I think too much impulsively never turns out well for me. . @Nomad I did watch most of the bomb in the brain part two. I took psych 101 but I underestimated the effect childhood trauma does have. I think I fell asleep after 50 mins. (Before you judge me for not having an attention span I do too I just have a physically intensive job so I'm always exhausted) it was the part about emotional eating. I learned a lot about fat people I didn't know. I can relate. I have never been obese but I had bulimia on and off for years. Throwing up is obviously disgusting but I was addicted to the emotional release. That feeling after doing it where you feel so much lighter and kind of light headed. It got especially bad when people upset me. I'm learning so much, thanks you guys.

@Nomad Listen, I don't think you should abandon the forum. Regardless of how this thread turned out I think you can give valuable input. People grow faster when their beliefs and views are challenged often. If people like you leave this forum will really become a bunch of like minded validation bullcrap. I think you could help, if you don't mind being unpopular. (this wouldn't necessarily be the case) Althought, I'm guessing you do mind. Have a good night. Edit: I admit I was kind of passively replying to you earlier because I was at work. My replies were not well thought out. Sorry for irritating you. I went back and watched the video you posted. Good stuff, so far. Never heard of the subselves. I hadn't had a chance to look at your studies. I'm on part 2 of the bomb in the brain.

@Nomad True & we appreciate your input BUT nobody forced you to debate. You're the one who got mad you couldn't "infulence" people and started to defend your stance to the death. But I get that you just didn't want people getting misinformation (even tho the theories were valid) Also wanting to find peace & fulfillment is a green trait. Since you keep insisting you don't see any orange. I don't see any damn religious blues, that's for sure.

@Nomad that's not empathetic that's still judgemental. You think you're so much smarter because you're a little older. If you really know better and want to help you would not be throwing a temper tantrum and then running away like a little child. Peace.

I disagree. I think a lot of people on here, including Leo are surpassing the orange stage because they see the limits of scientific thought.

"You're projecting your own meaning into my words." Well no shit, that's how brains work! You take in information, infer meaning based on past knowledge or experience, and respond the only way you know how. You do it too. You're sitting there assuming I want to argue because "I can't feel emotions". You don't know a damn thing about me and we obviously process things very differently. Forums are no different from having conversations about things... people do that all the time. It's just people giving advice based on what they know, it's not like theres a team of experts here to tell you exactly what to do. Everyone is just trying to find their way, take in what is useful, and learn by themselves. Learning is a life long process. Plus, no matter how much advice you give some people, it takes time to inplement & they may not implement it at all. Just get stuck in homeostasis. I get what you're saying & you make good points but you should be less judgemental and more open minded. Most people will not listen to you if you talk shit about the forum they visit and tell them they're wasting their time & being rude about it.

I don't know what you mean. I don't feel it's a waste of time, I've gained plenty of insight. You made some good points yourself until you got super defensive.

Oh sure "clearly" everyone on here is an idiot who needs validation. You're very judgemental. Excuse me, but I see nothing wrong with helping people out if you can. It's not up to you to decide what is helpful or insightful. People can decide that themselves. You seem to forget that this is a forum for open discussion and people can post whatever the hell they want. Moderators exist for a reason. You need to chill.

I went through this reccently. Except my depression eventually resulted in alcoholism. If I hadn't found Leo's videos about being a victim, I wouldn't have been able to stop by myself. I wouldn't have believed I could. I believe this is true. I want to get to a point where I don't "need" much at all to feel comfortable and content. But I do need to let go of my fear of exploration which I believe is limiting me. Of course, it's a fear. They say that in the future, enough menial work will be automated that most people will be free to pursue things that only humans can do. I'm looking forward to that time. Society's view on status might shift from things you can acquire with money to the ability to pursue and create. It is already headed in that direction, with innovators gaining more respect. Personally, I'm going to continue to pursue my art. Whether that be drawing, music, or some other interest. As much as I fear not making enough money, I also no longer feel a need for excess to be happy. I'm working on getting rid of worry and neurosis & getting to the root of my needs. It's cool that we went through similar things and seem to have similar way of thinking. Your posts have helped me so much. Thanks again

@Nomad Its ok, buddy. Nobody is attacking you. There's no need to lose faith in humanity lol. You fail to see the nuance in their theories. Nobody denied the existence of very basic psychological needs (from my understanding ). They are simply saying that there are many things we perceive to be needs as adults that are not needs at all. Finding out what those are takes a lot of introspection and self-inquiry. That is what everyone should do, lest you mistake an expendable need for a non-expendable one. That was the goal of the argument in the first place, wasn't it? Leo could have worded that better. Lol you called Leo dumb. I don't take his word as gospel. I disagree with some stuff he says. He's only human. But he's clearly above average intelligence.

@FindingPeace This is great. I feel like this has really giving me some insight on myself, more than almost anything ever has. Thank you. Since you say it varies by individual, it made me use myself as an example (rather than picking apart generalized needs, like I was going to originally). Since I was a kid I knew I wanted to be a fashion designer. I would sketch out clothing and my cousin and I would talk about one day pursuing it together. I thought it was something I always knew I wanted to do. However, it never was. It was something I told myself I wanted to do because it was suggested to me by my mother and my cousin. Later in life, my passion became music. This always seemed like my true passion because listening to it has always been a borderline spiritual experience for me. I can get lost in it and forget about all my problems. I have considered making my own and becoming an edm artist. I look at other edm artists and imagine traveling the world, making music, having the time of my life. However, one thing that puts me off is the hectic lifestyle, playing in clubs, and being the center of attention. I never desired fame, that is not the point. In fact I am so introverted that I prefer no attention. I love living in my own little world. Since starting my personal development journey (about a year ago), I have cut out a lot of "friends" I felt would hinder my progress. Because they were so far from development and spirituality, so lost in chimpery, I felt it would negatively affect me. Since then, I've spent most evenings by myself, in my room. I find it enjoyable, most days. Reading, learning about ideas and speculating in my mind. Exercising, doing yoga, writing and drawing, quietly. I get annoyed at my family members & friends randomly visiting for disturbing my peace. All I want is to be peaceful and pursue my creativity, when I feel like it. I would much rather draw quietly than go to a party. I would much rather walk and observe nature than go to dinner with friends. I would still like to travel only to see more of nature, as I'm dissatisfied with the scenery and weather, where I reside. I have stopped trying to fit in, stopped caring about ambition, and discovered a peace I have always craved. But then comes the question: is what I feel like I need simply due to homeostasis? Is peace my only true motivation? Is it my ego that makes me feel guilty about not pursuing my dreams? Or is it actually cowardice using peace as a justification for not pursuing my dreams? Honestly, the only motivation for me is money and having a place to live, keeping all my creature comforts. I am too afraid to explore, live on the bare minimum and go where the wind blows just to be peaceful. I am too concerned about stability. That is the world we live in, is it not? I'm afraid of not fitting into the system somehow because I fear ending up homeless and hungry. That can't be my ego, right? I lack an internal motivation to pursue a lucrative career. But I also fear not doing it. This has been the main cause of my inner struggle, for years. So what is the root need here? Is it stability? Security? Must not be something that can be eliminated. All I know is I'm starting to understand why Leo says his ultimate goal is to become a yogi.

Great video! On habit 3: I remember this Cracked article where the author asked you to write down the top three things you did yesterday (or the past few days-I don't recall) and then write down the three most important things to you. At the end, both lists may not match up. He said that whatever you wrote down that you had been doing was actually what was most important to you. I remember being appalled at my lists lol & started seeing what mattered to me differently.

Helping people is fantastic as long as you don't become a pushover. Your time is precious so don't feel bad when you can't afford to spend it on someone. When you feel guilty about not helping, that's when things get out of balance. Otherwise keep giving, as long as it doesn't drain you. I used to get annoyed at people who only ever seeked me out when they needed something. But then I realized (in certain cases) it was only my perception of them. I've gotten better at distinguishing people who only want to take & people who have a lot to give, as well, so it balances out.

I'm always chronically late too. The time I have been able to get ready in a short while we're rare but what I basically do: get out of my head. My thoughts distract me more than anything. I would focus on getting ready, shower, do my hair, make-up, do things as quickly as I can, keep my mind clear and be in the moment as if getting ready was the only thing that mattered in the world. Usually this works pretty well and I am ready much sooner than I expect. So basically: focus. Don't think about anything else but your goal until it's met.