Wow reading this you really remind me of myself when i was 16 or even 17. Right now i'm currently 18 and if i could travel back in time and tell myself one thing it would be "to start small and be patience." I always ignored this advice when people told me it but looking back at it they were right. I can see this for myself cause i literally got no if anything negatives results and i'm stunned just thinking of how much momentum i could have accumulated if i even just did 10 or 20 minutes of meditation everyday no matter what. If you want to more advice just PM me I'll be glad to help.