I say to myself (and sometimes aloud) that I am a failure; useless; worthless; stupid; unlovable; subhuman; etc. etc. BUT there are times that, if I am not thinking or feeling angry or depressed or anxious, I realize that these words are all meaningless bullshit, and seeing myself for what I really am is just around the corner. Only I have been trying to reach that corner and turn there for many decades.