Yuliya_Lei

I've been in a relationship with my partner for over 10 years. My partner is pursuing ego death, I am not. We are having issues, and I feel overwhelmed and at a breaking point. I don't want to leave the relationship. I also watch Leo's videos - although not as often as my partner. It has helped me quite a bit, but my path isn't that of ego death. My partner finds little use in social interaction with others, and not tolerable of me being social or friends. Any time I try to talk about being social my partner seems to be threatened by it, or will say I do not care for them. I'm not sure what to do in this case. It feels like trying to swim up a waterfall, and I feel frustrated/resentful of the situation. My partner also reads these forums so I am not giving very specified details on purpose.

This has been an issue during our whole relationship. I stopped trying to form connections with other people because it was easier than having a disagreement with my partner about it. I can't say that my partner is forcing me to not have friends, because that is a lie. I have chosen to not deal with confrontation about it. I feel like I am very supportive of what my partner wants, but they are not supportive of what is important to me. Anytime something may clash with what they think is important to them it equals me choosing to place my needs on a lower importance. I just feel weary.