TeamBills

@alyra I struggle with this too. I am better than before. Not being responsible and not doing what you know you should be doing very well might be the most painful thing someone can do if it is done for years upon years. I mean, it is apples and oranges to try to compare situations like this because they are 2 completely different things, but I will try my best. It is hell to lose someone you love to death, but you know there was nothing you could do about it. You know you have full control over not doing what you are supposed to be doing in your life. You have to live with the self hatred of living in your body after you make those decisions. Again it is apples and oranges and 2 completely different things, but that is the best way I can explain it. That pain doesn't really come until after years and years of not doing what you are supposed to be doing. It is less painful to do the thing(s) that you know you are supposed to be doing, even if you desperately don't want to do them, than not doing them at all and dealing with the effects that creates in your life. You asked why you don't do the things you are supposed to be doing. I don't know that answer. I ask myself the same thing. Maybe there isn't an answer. I'm just trying to help you by telling you what the end result probably will be if you don't do these things. Maybe that will help you get your ass into gear.

I wish more people would buy Leo's book list and life purpose. I see a lot of posts asking if they should get them, I mean of course. Is it kind of expensive? Yes. Is there a possibility you might feel like you wasted your money? Yes. But isn't it worth the risk? Better to spend your money on that than video games and other silly stuff. Take the chance, please. He has books on his list which will help you.

@Danielle You learned all that from 3 days? Wow, that is incredible. "day is actually pretty long" I've noticed that the day goes by so quickly if you are constantly on the computer and most of all video games, by goes way, way slower when you are away from those things.

Is he Ben Stiller's twin? I mean it's kind of scary how much they look alike.

That is what I thought.

@Leo Gura What if you are someone who doesn't enjoy taking it easy and enjoys working hard and accomplishing stuff?

The funny thing about the video is you watch it and it comes across as silly and something that wouldn't work, yet it is the most powerful technique I have learned from Actualized.org.

@Afonso Wow this is so much like me. I don't care about the woman or looks or whatever, but wow I can't believe how close your post is to my feelings. Being neurotic causes so much of this pain yet it is so hard to quit! I get jealous over seeing people who don't have all this crap that I have to deal with. It's not fair! If it makes you feel better I'm in the same boat as you. Are you working hard towards improving your situation? At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness. J know it is difficult, but try your best.

@Leo Gura Wow I didn't know that. I've been laying down recently.

Let's get some more personality tests! I learned about this one in school. https://www.outofservice.com/bigfive/ Open Mindedness: 43/100 High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative. Conscientiousness: 0/100 High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent. Extraversion: 1/100 High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet. Agreeableness: 0/100 High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous. Negative Emotionality: 100/100 High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy. Wow these results scared the crap out of me. I thought I was getting better and seeing results. Not much better but at least something!

Couldn't be much worse. I'm taking plenty of action though.

What exactly is the technique that you are doing?

@Steph1988 @Steph1988 I've been thinking about my results, and I believe I understand why my ratings were odd. Being nice used to be my only good quality. I guess I don't have any now. 3 years ago that rating would of been 80s or 90s. Then I had some bad incidents happen with my 2 friends (I always make sure to tell both sides of a story when I get in a fight with someone, something most people don't do, and I have been praised about doing it. Both my counselors have told me they were in the wrong), and my parents have completely scrambled my brain to put it nicely. What happen was those incidents turned me into a different person. A very cold person. My counselors I care about and would never want anything bad to happen to. I am as nice as can be with them. Everyone else in the world, especially strangers, I have no form of compassion for because of the previous incidents. I can't handle even being close to a stranger, without them doing anything. I get so angry. I keep it to myself though. Caring about 2 counselors out of everyone in the world, to me, is a 1/5 rating on the test for any compassion or caring question. The reason I got a 1 on the socialization is because those incidents have put me in exile from the world because I can't trust anyone anymore. It's funny. My Mom is the devil, but she thinks she is the greatest and nicest person in the world. She would of got a perfect score on the niceness category even though she is the complete opposite. These tests are always going to be flawed to some degree. You would think with my scores that I must of answered all of the questions as a 1 or 5, but I actually answered a lot of questions 2-4.

Below is an overview of your broad characteristics on the 5 major dimensions of personality. Your cognitive style is... Pragmatic In your thinking, you strike a balance between creativity and practicality. You can be imaginative when the situation calls for it, but never so much that your head is lost in the clouds. On the other hand, you’re also able to think through the practical concerns of a situation, and be a hard-headed realist when the need arises. Your organizational style is... Flexible You tend to go with the flow and take life as it comes. You are not a planner, preferring instead to see how things shape up before deciding on a course of action. You may sometimes be distractible and impulsive, and neglect to set long-term goals. But when it comes to enjoying life, you always win the prize. Your energy style is... Introverted You tend to be reserved and calm in your approach. Although you may enjoy being around people, especially close friends and family members, lots of socializing tends to be draining to you. You are more thoughtful than talkative and tend to be a good listener. You enjoy quiet, independent activities than you can do at your own pace. Your stress management style is... Reactive You are a cautious, alert person who is always aware of potential trouble around the bend. Some may call you a pessimist, but you think of yourself as a realist—with so many imminent dangers in the world, it would be foolish to relax. Stress gets under your skin, so you do your best to minimize risk in your life. Your interpersonal style is... Competitive You generally see other people as competition and make an effort to come out on top. It’s important to you to be intelligent and quick on your feet so that you don’t miss out on opportunities to better your situation. You can be argumentative and may struggle in environments where you’re expected to be a “team player.” Your Scores on All 30 Personality Traits Now let's go into depth to describe your personality. Below are your scores on 30 distinct personality traits, organized by the Big 5 personality dimensions of Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Neuroticism, and Agreeableness. Openness Traits The 6 traits below relate to your level of Openness. Openness is a broad dimension of personality describing your tendency to think in terms of ideas and abstractions. People high in Openness tend to be creative, imaginative, and progressive. People low in Openness tend to be practical, concrete, and traditional. Imagination Your level of imagination is about average. To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Artistic Interests Your level of artistic interests is low. High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Emotionality Your level of emotionality is about average. Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Adventurousness Your level of adventurousness is low. High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Intellectual Interests Your level of intellectual interest is low. Intellectual and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience, as they examine a person's tendency to enjoy abstract ideas. High scorers on this facet love to play with ideas. They are open to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellectual Interest should not be equated with intelligence. This facet of personality describes an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability. Liberalism Your level of liberalism is about average. Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Conscientiousness Traits The 6 traits below relate to your level of Conscientiousness. Conscientiousness is a broad dimension of personality that describes your tendency to persist toward a goal. High scores tend to be determined, hardworking, and reliable. Low scorers tend to be spontaneous, impulsive, and flexible. Self-Efficacy Your level of self-efficacy is low. Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Orderliness Your level of orderliness is low. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Dutifulness Your level of dutifulness is low. This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Achievement-Striving Your level of achievement striving is low. Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track towards their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scorers may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Cautiousness Your level of cautiousness is low. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do the first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Extraversion Traits The 6 traits below relate to your level of Extraversion. Extraversion is a broad dimension of personality that describes your style of gaining and managing energy. People high in Extraversion tend to be outgoing, energetic, and sociable. People low in Extraversion (a.k.a. Introverts) tend to be reserved, calm, and independent. Friendliness Your level of friendliness is low. Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings towards others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Gregariousness Your level of gregariousness is low. Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They also enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Assertiveness Your level of assertiveness is low. High scorers on Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Activity Level Your activity level is about average. Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Excitement-Seeking Your level of excitement-seeking is low. High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Cheerfulness Your level of positive emotions is low. This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Individuals who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Neuroticism Traits The following 6 traits relate to your level of Neuroticism. Neuroticism is a broad dimension of personality that describes your response to stress. High scorers tend to react with anger, depression, anxiety, and other negative emotions when under stress. Low scorers tend to be resilient and deal with stress easily. Anxiety Your level of anxiety is high. The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Individuals low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Anger Your level of anger is high. Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Depression Your level of depression is high. This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficulty initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Self-Consciousness Your level or selfconsciousness is high. Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fear that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Immoderation Your level of immoderation is high. Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long-term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Vulnerability Your level of vulnerability is high. High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Agreeableness Traits The following 6 traits relate to your level of Agreeableness. Agreeableness is a broad dimension of personality that describes your inclination to get along with others. Agreeable people tend to be cooperative, compassionate, and concerned with harmonious relationships. Disagreeable people tend to be competitive, challenging, and concerned with their own self-interest. Trust Your level of trust is low. A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Honesty Your level of honesty is low. High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. Altruism Your level of altruism is low. Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Cooperation Your level of cooperation is low. Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Modesty Your level of modesty is high. High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Sympathy Your level of sympathy is low. People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy.

I'm a little bit confused here. Is this thread about struggles and questions with trying to become actualized or is it about the biggest problems and fears in our life in general? Thanks for asking Leo.

@khalifa Inside I know that that video is probably the most important video behind the meditation video, and I can see how it could change my life, but my problems always seem to overpower the principals in that video. How were you able to implement the techniques in the video?

That makes sense to me. I'll keep training my ear for it.

How am I supposed to know what Truth and what who is? How am I supposed to know what the call is? I have no idea the answer to these questions. Also doesn't the hero's journey assume that the inner demons can be conquered. What if they can't?

So I am doing all of these things that you listed so I am following the hero's journey? I'm accepting the call? I'm doing what I should be doing? I'm on the way to the hero's journey? I don't know, only you can know that. The fact that you're asking for it makes me think you don't, This was the question I asked in the beginning, and I still haven't gotten an answer that makes sense to me. Epiphany did help but I am still kind of confused as to what I should be doing.@ShinHow am I supposed to know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and following the hero's journey? Everything you need to know is already in you, you just have to become conscious of it, through meditation, presence, thoughts examination = mindfullness (especially the painful ones). I am doing these things so am I following the hero's journey? I don't know what I am supposed to do to follow the hero's journey.

@Memeito That is what I am starting to think with examining this.

I do my normal meditation for an hour a day and I never listen to anything, but I just watched the video on the due nothing technique and I was thinking of doing it while listening to something. He said the only way you can goof up the technique is if you try to trick your mind into doing something like trying to reach enlightment. So I guess Leo thinks I wouldn't be doing it wrong. What do you guys think? Do you recommend me listening to something while doing the do nothing technique. Do any of you guys listen to anything while doing it?

@Epiphany_Inspired "THE CALL: For me...the call is more than a half-assed attempt at actualization. The call is waking up to why you are here, what you are meant to do, accepting the call to follow that path while being willing to go without, break ties, suffer the reality of actually fully experiencing our emotions, etc basically whatever it takes to FULLY accept the inner journey, and any external consequences." This made sense to me thank you. @Shin "You know why you can't answer these questions ? Because there is no answers, only realization, only "OHHHH, ok ..." moments." So there is no answer to what the hero's journey is or what the call is? That doesn't make sense. "Everything you need to know is already in you, you just have to become conscious of it, through meditation, presence, thoughts examination = mindfullness (especially the painful ones). There is only you to do that, no one can teach you anything, they can only tell you to be present and to face your anxious thoughts." So the steps are meditation (I do), presence (um OK not sure what you mean here), thoughts examination (doing), mindfulness (doing), facing anxious thoughts (doing) So I am doing all of these things that you listed so I am following the hero's journey? I'm accepting the call? I'm doing what I should be doing? I'm on the way to the hero's journey? "Now the all dilemma is Will you accept it ? If you don't, you'll always remember (at least inconsciously) all what Is said above. How could you live a happy life knowing you've turned away from that ?" This is basically the question I had before. I don't understand what I am supposed to be accepting. I'm doing the steps I'm supposed to do (listed above) so I am accepting it? I can't live a happy life knowing I turned away from it, but I don't know what I am turning away from. Thanks for the responses guys.

@sweatergoat If you're going through serious problems I wouldn't recommend worrying about other people. You have enough to worry about with yourself. I know that sounds mean but if you are in a life or death situation then that is my feeling. @Wyatt Leo said something like that on the forum. I really liked it. Most of the time it is hard for me to implement the material even if it sounds good or correct to me. Does anyone else have that problem? Leo was talking about being neutral to feelings and to stop labeling them as good or bad, but just as "being". I can see how that would take pain away, but I struggle with implementing most of this stuff. Luckily, not everything.

@Bodhi123 I'm not sure I am understanding what you are saying. What steps should I be taking?

It's possible it will be alright. It is possible it may not. We all obsess over that question even though we don't know the answer. And no I don't believe the silly notion that if you think it will be alright and have faith then everything will magically work out. Open mindedness I do feel would help with the worrying.