OnceMore

You've already completed 3 years, and you only have a little bit longer to do. It's your final year, so just finish it! You've worked hard, and you're so close, so don't just put it all in the bin now, especially because... what else are you gonna do? How best to spend these next 7 months? Finishing off your law degree, or doing... what, exactly? Only 7 more months, and you'll have a law degree, and you'll never have to do law ever again. The LP course and all that will be there regardless. You can do all that later. This forum, that video, that hobby, that whatever - all this will still be there at the end of the 7 months. But you may never get this chance again. So focus, just for 7 months. Get the degree. After that, do whatever. Life's possibilities will still be there at the end of these 7 months. (You could also have a law degree by this point also) You'll have MORE possibilities, actually. And the diploma isn't meaningless at all. You worked hard for it, there's some meaning. But it can also be used to do some good in the world, if you want. [At the very least, you could just use this as a (very rewarding) exercise in cultivating discipline in your own life. A lot of the times we're gonna be needing to do things that we don't want to do... discipline will help us with that]

As I was reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, just now I have come across this passage that perhaps ties with this thread. "Think of your many years of procrastination; how the gods have repeatedly granted you further periods of grace, of which you have taken no advantage. It is time now to realise the nature of the universe to which you belong, and of that controlling Power whose offspring you are; and to understand that your time has a limit set to it. Use it, then, to advance your enlightenment; or it will be gone, and never in your power again."

@Joseph Maynor I hear you. Since I started this topic I tried to make the commitment of: No more TV, movies, sports, porn, news etc. I did well for a few days, entertaining myself with books and actually working out, but then one day I watched a movie. Then watched another. Then since I already started the backsliding, I started reading news and then watching porn again and etc. Is this a case of taking baby steps and working with the system I already have vs. one big upheaval of the system?

I've only just realised how incredibly addicted I am to entertainment. When listing my addictions (also including porn and sugar), I have also listed entertainment, but it would be at the bottom of the list. But now, I am sure it is number one; I literally cannot do anything without having some form of entertainment or stimulation on in the background. When I am eating, I will have a video or podcast on. When I am walking or on the bus or on the train, I will have a podcast on. When I wake up in the morning, I immediately reach for my phone so that I can search for something new to watch/read/listen to. I have trouble falling asleep, so I put on a video or podcast and lie down so that eventually I can fall asleep. Even when I am watching a movie, which is a form of entertainment itself, I am flicking through my phone for some more stimulation! How insane is that?! Stimulation within stimulation! I don't even study without having something on in the background. Every single spare moment I have I immediately get out my phone and search for something. And here is the worst part: I don't even give a shit about the thing I am being stimulated by. I don't care about the content of the podcasts, movies, videos, music etc that I engage in. The content rarely matters. What matters I think is that as long as there is something that is keeping my attention occupied and is focused away from me and my life, then that is okay. So for sure I am heavily, heavily addicted to being entertained and being stimulated 24/7. Any advice on how to defeat this addiction? I am definitely making this priority number one right now, as it has only become plain to me the utter ridiculous nature of what I am doing. This is no way to live. The problem I think I will have is this: Life without the entertainment or stimulation is going to be immensely more boring than life is without the stimulation. Or it will be at the start. edit: Plus I am not even sure if I should add books to this list.

Those are questions I've never considered... I don't know why I'm measuring or comparing. I feel like it was just a natural gut reaction to this particular news. If I had the choice to not compare, I would choose that 100 times out of 100. What is the motive for this measuring or comparing? I have no idea. It obviously doesn't serve me. Just makes me feel like shit and makes me create topics like this. Why do I want what he has? Because I know it'll make me happier. They are all levels on Maslow's hierarchy that need to be filled. What do you think?

@Nahm Nope, he's never been in to any instructors or motivational speakers or whatever. I've tried many times to get him interested because I'd thought it would help him when he was unemployed but he's always rejected the idea or the need for this type of stuff. So the job came to him like this: His girlfriend wanted him to get a real job, because as I've said, he's never worked and has just been lazying around. She told him to go for this particular job that they're offering to young people post high school without college degrees in particular. He got his girlfriend and her relatives who are successful to write his CV (which a lot of was fabricated) and to do the online tests for him, because he didn't have the skills himself to pass those tests. He got on to the next stage for the job which was the interview. He's a good looking and confident and extroverted guy so of course he aced the interview. Then they gave him the job.

@Faceless But I know why I am jealous: because he has what I want. And he got it easy, whereas I'm finding it hard. But knowing why I am jealous still isn't getting rid of any jealousy. I think it's actually increasing the feelings of jealousy...

@Faceless So how do I beat the problem of jealousy? The ideal situation is that my brother does well, and I feel good for him. That is the ideal. But that is not what has happened. My brother did well, and I feel angry and resentful that good things are happening for him and not me. I know that's horrible because he's my younger brother, so I'd rather this jealousy didn't occur.

@Faceless Can you elaborate on that please as I did not understand the sentence?

@Key Elements Or it may not backfire and he'll continue to coast and fly through life with no problems like he already has been, while I'm gonna have to grind my way to get anywhere near the pay he is getting. Or like I'm gonna have to grind my way to perhaps have even just a small opportunity to try to improve myself so a girl might be interested in me getting to know her. etc.

@Elisabeth My relationship with him is ok I guess. He is definitely not toxic or manipulative, just a really lucky guy. So this is purely jealousy and envy on my part. But I think one way to quench that envy is to just get away from him. I feel like I don't want to be around someone who is just given things of such a high calibre, because it makes me feel insecure and small with my own life.

@Echoes I know I don't deserve any of that. I know that. But what I do not know is how all of that can come to a person who hasn't worked hard in any way. Most people slog through so many hoops to get the career my brother has now just been handed. It's so fucking unfair man. And I know I'm acting like a little victim right now but god, how the hell can that happen so easily for a person?

@Nahm What you say makes sense. I know this is all about me and how I'm not in the life situation I wish to be in. But still, there's still a lot of negative feelings in me right now. I'm very angry at how easy it is for him. Angry, bitter and resentful.

@Nahm But how can I shift my attention when I literally live with the guy? Or when I hear my parents everyday praise him for doing so well, when he did nothing to deserve of such high things? His success + lack of any work ethic is staring me in the face everyday, mocking me, laughing at me.

How do you handle it when the feelings of jealousy are so powerful? In my particular case, I am immensely jealous of my younger brother. He is younger than me by three years. I'm 23 and he is 20. But he has literally everything I would ever want in my life. He has a gorgeous girlfriend. He's extraverted. He's naturally confident. He has tons and tons of friends, and a lot of them are really close friends from childhood. He was born with superior genetics: he is a good looking guy and really fit, and so the girls really like him instantly and the guys respect him instantly. And just the other day, he got accepted on to a job through some program, that most people would need a college degree for. The program is specifically for people that did not go to college. But it is for a major and huge and well paying company in the financial industry. He will now get paid a lot. He has never had to struggle for anything. I swear. I know this, because I've lived with him and have been in his life everyday for over twenty years. The guy gets everything so easily, and never ever works. He has never worked at a job. He always got shitty grades at high school. He lied so much on his CV to get his new job. He got other people to do the online tests you have to do to get the job. He has never read a book. He doesn't do personal development or whatever. He spends most of his time on YouTube and Instagram and Snapchat and all of that. He has no skills. He doesn't do any of this shit. Yet he has literally everything, and just so easily! He never had to grind and use grit to get through a difficult life problem. He never had to toil away hours and hours at a desk doing programming or working on art or working on mathematical problems or anything. Nothing difficult. Nothing that will make him go to his edge. And yet he's just gotten everything handled already. How is this possible?! How is it possible that somebody who hasn't worked hard at anything can have it all, at the age of 20? Right now I am jealous. More than that, I am resentful for him having it so goddamn easy. And before you say that maybe he didn't have it easy: you're just gonna have to trust me on this. I am bitter at life for providing him with luck. I honestly feel that I'm just going to cut contact with him. I can't keep being around him, knowing that here is a guy who is my younger brother that has everything that I want, but has done no work to acquire it. I am in a 'damn the world' sort of mood.