abgespaced

All of the above. Btw, you should read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ad_hominem In before "jaded".

Yes.

Kudos for cold approaching! It's a huge barrier for most guys. And kudos for having the prescience to build your skill with women. Ignore the people telling you that you have unresolved issues for wanting to practice pickup. It is perfectly natural to want to increase your skill with women. Here's why: at the root level of the male mind, where masculinity can be said to reside, there are two factors determining how passionate, vital and alive you feel, i.e. how masculine you feel. They are: Skill with women + progress on life purpose. That means that it is necessary as a man to work equally as hard on your life purpose as it is to develop your skills with women. That may seem like a huge task, but these two are are not completely independent of each other- in fact they support and bolster one another. They both make you more masculine which will make you more successful at both. This also means that you have to continue working at both throughout your life. Just like work on your life purpose doesn't stop once you discover your life purpose, getting better with women does not stop once you are in a monogamous relationship. The skill you have in dealing with your partner must grow as the two of you grow together, since it will become all the more difficult to maintain the tension the more predictable you become to each other. That said, what's stopping you from having multiple relationships, or approaching women while in a relationship? Unless you imply monogamy with this girl, that is, you give her the impression that you two are monogamous, then you have every right not to be. It's your life, you're a man. You can decide how many relationships you want and how many women you want to approach. There is nothing stopping you. Just don't hurt anyone.

In addition to the great advice given in this thread, I would like to add the following warning: If you ignore her and focus on yourself and your mission, as you should, she may begin to show interest in you. Do not be fooled by this change of behaviour; it is not genuine. She will just do it to allay her anxieties and regain her power over you. Any further effort you spend on her will be wasted. Stay strong.

Big mistake. Why is what you have planned for your week so unimportant to you that you're willing to rearrange it all for a quick meetup? This behaviour raises red flags in her mind. If you're so willing to change your life for a girl you hardly know, how can she feel secure with you? How does she know you won't do that with the next girl that comes along? Why are you getting so emotional? Leave that for women. You're a man. You need to be the rock against her emotional tides- detached, nonreactive, grounded. A man who can be so easily affected emotionally by a woman, much less the absence of a woman, is repellant and unattractive. See here and here. I'm curious to hear what "expectations" you set. To me this just reeks of neediness and insecurity. DO NOT pursue her. This is more of the same behaviour that turned her off. As a general rule of thumb you should avoid the mindset of having to pursue any woman, at least at this stage. With this girl, you have already displayed your neediness and lack of independence, so the only chance you have of turning the situation around is to display the exact opposite. The only effort you should be putting in at this stage is returning your mental point of origin to yourself. Stop obsessing over her, ground yourself, find out what your life should be about and go put effort into that instead. That will be your best shot at making this relationship work.

Sex is a necessity for life. There would be no life without it.

You can learn to control it physically so that you can stay mentally present with your partner. Kegel exercises and edging are two ways you can build and control the muscles that contract during orgasm. Learning how these muscles work for you will not only help prevent finishing too quickly; they are the foundation of developing great sexual powers such as multiple orgasms, full body orgasms and transcendental sex.

Learn Tantric breathing.

Regret.

Biological mechanisms can be controlled to some extent, yes. Like forcing yourself not to eat or drink. How long can that be maintained?

@DawnOfReality Sounds like sex to me. And by sex I mean sexual undertones/chemistry/arousal. You are purposely desexualising yourself in order to appear less threatening to her. It hasn't worked. She has already rejected you for anything more than a friendship, even though you "wanted to go a little bit beyond". @Whywolf Be careful dismissing the entire field of non-conventional dating advice as "PUA nonsense". It has evolved beyond PUA and is now a much broader and comprehensive field, beginning to be heavily backed up by science. This kid came to this thread because the conventional dating advice (the advice most young men receive now days, and the same advice repeated by you and others in this thread) was not working for him. I offer him an alternative point of view. Unfortunately he is so ego invested in this mindset and supported in it that it will take him half a lifetime to come to an understanding of the truth. Go back and read what I wrote before he posted about being rejected. I predicted his rejection, even the exact kind of rejection- LJBF "Let's just be friends". How was this possible? Because everything that is happening to him is entirely predictable using the most up to date dating knowledge available today. The kind of knowledge you dismiss as "PUA nonsense".

@I_Like_Thing PUA for women: Show up naked. Bring beer.

Everything that exists comes in pairs of equal opposites. Modern physics is based on light and its reflection. Strong and weak force. These are not equal opposites. The opposite of light is darkness. The opposite of reflection is shadow. This is true symmetry. Light pushes out into darkness and darkness pulls on light. Shadows block reflections. Similarly, electricity is only one half of electromagnetism. Magnetism is the other half. Just like electricity has a current, so too does magnetism. One cannot move without exciting the other. Magnets move through matter like electricity moves through matter. Yet we focus on force instead of balance. Our greatest problems cannot be solved until this is realised.

@DawnOfReality You have willingly assigned yourself the role of Beta Orbiter (look it up). You say you don't want sex but secretly you do. You want her to open her legs when later you decide that you want to have sex with her. Now this now: it will never, ever happen. In her eyes, you have cut your dick off. You are no longer a sexual man to her. You are her friend, and if you continue with your needy bullshit she won't even want to be your friend. Here's what will actually happen: she will meet a more dominant guy who turns her on sexually. She will have sex with him and you will get hurt. Meanwhile she gets all of the benefit of your attentions without any intention to reciprocate. Advice: Stop deluding yourself that you have any chance of a normal relationship with her and move on, develop new prospects and grow a pair.

@Loreena You are kind hearted, generous and warming. Thank you.

I too am disquieted by the recent enthusiasm for psychedelic use by Leo and as a result by his followers. There are no shortcuts in life. Only loans from the future. There is no net gain in the process of using drugs. What is asked of the substance is wisdom. But the substance does not hold the wisdom. You hold the wisdom. It is your duty in life to extract that wisdom, experience it and share it with others. This is not something that is done once and marked off the to-do list. It is a constant process throughout life. It is life. So I ask you- how do you want to experience that reality? Lucidly? Authentically? Consistently? Durably? No drug can offer you these.

Brilliant.

I assume this thread was started in order to develop sexual wisdom by gaining insight into the minds of women by asking them what they like. Logically it makes sense. "I want sex -> women have the sex I want -> I'll ask women want they find sexy -> get the sex I want". Problem is, this is a very male way of thinking. This is how men solve problems. It is not how women think, communicate or reveal themselves. So, in the interest of supporting the men coming to this thread looking for answers, I am about to reveal some uncomfortable truths. The fallout won't be pretty. On the whole, the above responses by the women are not what they find sexy in a man. Rather, they have listed what they find attractive. Attraction happens between lovers, yes. It also happens between friends, family and even different species. It is obviously not a direct cause of sexual arousal. Know now that it is almost impossible for women to communicate the truth about what arouses them. I.e. what they find sexy. One reason is that their ovulatory cycle keeps them guessing; their biological impetus for choosing a mate changes as their hormone levels fluctuate. What they find "sexy" in one phase of their ovulatory cycle will differ from what they find "sexy" in another phase of their ovulatory cycle. This is an uncomfortable truth for women. Luckily there are now at least 50 studies that back this up. Dr. Martie Haselton is a notable scientist in this field. Her study on Human Estrus can be found here: http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/comm/haselton/unify_uploads/files/gangestad and haselton current opinion 12-1-14 in press.pdf Previous research had found that women find male confidence, even a degree of arrogance, more sexually appealing during the fertile phase [e.g., 15-16]. Recent studies replicate and extend that work, finding not only that fertile-phase women are more sexually attracted to “sexy cad” or behaviorally masculine men (relative to “good dad” or less masculine men), but also that, during the fertile phase, women are more likely to flirt or engage with such men [17,18]. Females of a variety of species, including primates [2], prefer dominant or high ranking males during the fertile phase of their cycles. These males may pass genetic benefits to offspring, as well as, potentially, offer material benefits (e.g., protect offspring). Women’s fertile-phase sexual attraction to behavioral dominance appears to have deep evolutionary roots. You won't get women admitting to these truths because in all likelihood they do not process them on a conscious level, whether by ignorance or by choice. Not only that, any man they have to communicate this to is not the man for them. Women want a guy that "just gets it". Anything less is compromised. Complicating matters further is the current social stigma around women submitting to men. Even though deep down they want this. They want to open up, trust, be vulnerable and feel safe in the presence of a strong, confident, secure and dominant man. Society tells them it's wrong. Which only harms women. I have no doubt that the above responses are sincere. But they will not help you form the complete picture, which is much bigger than what I have written here. If you take anything away from this thread it's this: what women say they want vs. what they need and respond to are not necessarily the same thing.

@Key Elements Simple. Pragmatic. Effective. An answer was forthcoming in the space of your first sentence. In my spare time I research. @jjer94 Insightful. Thought-provoking. Genius. If I was the Omega Man I would create massive experiments and fuck with nature.

Or Japan, for that matter. Thank you Fukushima. Your ongoing efforts have not gone unnoticed.

@Key Elements @Peace and Love @jjer94 How does one unearth what they love, buried by layers of neglect, inattention and doubt, whereat the deepest point all things are equally lifeless?

@Gladius Your current standards are too high. Your current sexual market value is lower than you think it is. Your lack of passion during sex is not due to "settling for less"; it's due your dissatisfaction with the quality of woman you are capable of attracting. "Just be yourself" is the worst advice you could receive. Obviously being yourself isn't working for you, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. You need to improve yourself. Waiting around for the right "one" is a guaranteed failure and is setting you up for a massive fall. Start by getting in shape, building your confidence, becoming less needy, finding satisfaction within yourself and stop being so damn boring.

Majority of LDR's fail due to lack of physical contact. Like a new born baby. Annie's case having a happy ending is a rare exception. One of you will have to move permanently, or be prepared for an intense amount of work for a marginal chance of success.

You hesitated. You want for her permission. You are overly invested. You are subconsciously waiting for her to make the move. You care what she thinks. It's already over. Ask her quickly so she can LJBF reject you and move on to another girl.

Good lists ladies! Now recategorise your answers according to: 1. What in a man attracts you 2. What in a man arouses you They are not the same.