Ananta

The way I see it is that victim mentality is an emotional rollercoaster one puts themselves on and it keeps them completely stuck. Hard to make effective change in your life when you're playing a victim, because so much time is spent fixated on being miserable and usually pointing fingers blaming or complaining. I really feel sorry for them, but they need tough love I think.

@Preety_India ?❤

There must be something else that is "off". It's not that you are generally nice. I've never gone for a guy that was an arrogant asshole, liar, whatever. That turns me off so bad, always has.... Also, you can be nice and have masculine energy or just good chemistry even, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I don't know you, so can't say what the issue is, but it's not that! Try a matchmaker service. They will give you solid advice on what you may need to work on and try to match you up with someone too. Ps. yeah, don't be rude! You might get kicked in the nuts?

I'm sure it is hard to change this victim mentality, because there really are real payoffs to keeping such behaviors going. This forum relationship subsection in many ways gives some members the platform to chronically complain, blame and whine. Then, they get the push/pull energy of ppl trying to help them and then they chronically reject the advice, over and over, emotionally cutting themselves (as Emerald once put it), until they have their fix for the day. It happens on here all the time with a few users. Thanks for mentioning the letting go technique (I looked it up)- *Hawkins on How to Practice the Letting Go Technique. ... “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it."

I can only speak for myself but I was talking generally nice, not nice every second of the day or couldn't get down and dirty in the bedroom.

Yes, they are, but you need a bit more then "just" nice. Just like a nice girl would need a bit more, then being nice for you to be interested, right? There's liking someone's looks, humor, intelligence, personality, having good chemistry, etc...plus, they are nice.

@Arcangelo I said what I had to say. In your post you're saying women want arrogant assholes, that are dishonest and a liars. Think what you want, but its gender stereotyping at its finest! I'm not projecting. I can read.

Yeah, well, I'm 49 I just look decent for my age. I'm probably one of the eldest here on the forum, so there! You want to moan, bitch, complain and like some other men....blame women. Your putting yourself in a victim role. Good luck finding a date with that negative energy/vibe.

@Mikael89 Your intention for posting the video came through loud and clear.

@Fede83 ? Blessing to you too. Feel better! I'd bet most of the issue is a lack of confidence, more then the other stuff?. Good guys make good boyfriend's, husband's and father's!

Haha....well, just because I said I wouldn't mind, as in wouldn't be offended, Doesn't mean it would go anywhere.

I'm married

@Arcangelo I second finding a local singles meet-up group like @Serotoninluv said. Also, 40 is the new 30! Meetup.com I personally wouldn't be offended if someone said Hi to me at the store, as long as they were nice and not creepy. I know I don't speak for all ladies when I say that though. What is creepy and scary is someone following you. I've had it happen and you don't know if you should scream, run or play it cool. After a bit, he started telling me how nice my ass was and I knew I was in trouble. I quickly got my mace out of my purse and then ran to my car. ?

Contact "job and family services" in the morning and report your legal guardian and her ex-boyfriend. The legal guardianship can be revoked by a judge if you are being mistreated verbally/physically/emotionally. If you are restricted to guardianship for some legal reason, then they may need to find you a new guardian, if possible.

Locked- appreciate the love❤, but we just had a thread like this.

Thank you!❤

So, like the title says, I quit my job. Well, in Jan. of this year I had enough and without having anything but a savings I just gave notice and quit. It felt right. Everyone sorta thought I was losing it. Maybe I was... A little background, I'm a nurse. I was working as a home care coordinator at a hospital. Those jobs are rare, but I couldn't take my shitty boss any longer. I was trying to find something comparable and it just didn't work out. I was unemployed 4 mos, then had to just go back to patient care in the field as a home care nurse. I was a bit bummed, but made the best of it. The first company I started at was just horrible, quit that place after 6 wks and got hired where I'm now at. I've worked there 4 mos (worked there 8 yrs ago) and I was asked to take a promotion to a clinical manager job that became open this month. Finally, a job that not only gives kudos for a job well done, but a raise, extra vacation time and I will be a boss. Only bummer is I have to wait until they hire someone to replace me in the field, before I move into my new position, but hey, I'll take it. So, sometimes you have to just do what you gotta do and pray it works out! If you got through my long post, then thanks for reading.

Locking this thread now

Then stop with the- "women only like alpha male assholes that treat them like shit" stereotyping. Thank you!

What I'm saying is, what you say about women is mostly false and its sexism. The way you think women are is a stereotyping of women. "Most" women are not what you say they are in your posts. So, then you spew a bunch of false opinions, thread after thread and the women of this forum are getting sick and tired of it. The problem is not with the women....

I don't have it wrong. You just do it in a back-handed way. You'll post that women want a alpha man, a real dick (you said in another thread), that's an asshole and that treats them like shit and since you're beta and not that, your screwed. Therefore, blaming women, like I said.

He won't give up his victim mentality, until he's done being a victim. Part of being an effective victim is blaming others for your position in life. So, he blames an entire gender for the fact that he can't leave his man cave and socialize, as if it's their fault.

@Preety_India ❤ Ty!