Ananta

That's a great post! Ty❤ Very detailed and it gets the point across very well. I love how at the bottom there is potentially another victim, then another and....can go on and on. Ppl like myself that had emotional abuse as a child can relate to feeling like a victim, even verbalizing being a victim, for years, but after awhile one has to put their foot down and say "no more, stop the insanity!" Then, actually do the work to stop the victim mentality. So, yes, there are all sorts of victim mentalities out there. All with there own set of pay offs. One must be willing to let the pay offs go. They aren't worth it!

Nice!?

Aww, well, um, I was born 1970 ?

@Serotoninluv @Inliytened1 Good to know you're old farts like me!

Since you've been gone!

Me too! I am from the era when we actually went outside and played! Hehe Didn't have a computer until I was in my 30's. I don't know how I survived without internet and cellphones. Seems impossible now, especially since all the pay phones are now gone, lol.

To me, It's a ying-yang magnetic polarity that brings chemistry and body language into the mix.

Best love thread yet!!!!!! Love you too??? ? Exactly! ?

Locked- This thread had a good run, but is getting too off topic now.

@Preety_India I completely agree, its sad☹

I hope so.. My intention for this thread is to perhaps open the eyes of those holding on tight to their victimhood mentalities and maybe convincing them through logic to drop it. For them to see the benefits or payoffs, really aren't so beneficial after all. All they are doing is hurting themselves. It's a dysfunctional coping mechanism, that's all it is...

Awesome! Thanks for sharing that. I'll look it up more when I have more time. Thank you

The way I see it is that victim mentality is an emotional rollercoaster one puts themselves on and it keeps them completely stuck. Hard to make effective change in your life when you're playing a victim, because so much time is spent fixated on being miserable and usually pointing fingers blaming or complaining. I really feel sorry for them, but they need tough love I think.

@Preety_India ?❤

There must be something else that is "off". It's not that you are generally nice. I've never gone for a guy that was an arrogant asshole, liar, whatever. That turns me off so bad, always has.... Also, you can be nice and have masculine energy or just good chemistry even, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I don't know you, so can't say what the issue is, but it's not that! Try a matchmaker service. They will give you solid advice on what you may need to work on and try to match you up with someone too. Ps. yeah, don't be rude! You might get kicked in the nuts?

I'm sure it is hard to change this victim mentality, because there really are real payoffs to keeping such behaviors going. This forum relationship subsection in many ways gives some members the platform to chronically complain, blame and whine. Then, they get the push/pull energy of ppl trying to help them and then they chronically reject the advice, over and over, emotionally cutting themselves (as Emerald once put it), until they have their fix for the day. It happens on here all the time with a few users. Thanks for mentioning the letting go technique (I looked it up)- *Hawkins on How to Practice the Letting Go Technique. ... “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it."

I can only speak for myself but I was talking generally nice, not nice every second of the day or couldn't get down and dirty in the bedroom.

Yes, they are, but you need a bit more then "just" nice. Just like a nice girl would need a bit more, then being nice for you to be interested, right? There's liking someone's looks, humor, intelligence, personality, having good chemistry, etc...plus, they are nice.

@Arcangelo I said what I had to say. In your post you're saying women want arrogant assholes, that are dishonest and a liars. Think what you want, but its gender stereotyping at its finest! I'm not projecting. I can read.

Yeah, well, I'm 49 I just look decent for my age. I'm probably one of the eldest here on the forum, so there! You want to moan, bitch, complain and like some other men....blame women. Your putting yourself in a victim role. Good luck finding a date with that negative energy/vibe.

@Mikael89 Your intention for posting the video came through loud and clear.

@Fede83 ? Blessing to you too. Feel better! I'd bet most of the issue is a lack of confidence, more then the other stuff?. Good guys make good boyfriend's, husband's and father's!

Haha....well, just because I said I wouldn't mind, as in wouldn't be offended, Doesn't mean it would go anywhere.