DawnOfReality

Hi. One of my goals right now is to improve my body and make it stronger. I have already set my workout habit up and as the next move I am looking up for new ways of eating that can help me build this strong body. This being said, I see the advantages of not eating as much meat and I was wondering what is the ideal diet (leaning towards vegetables consuming) to follow; I am not intending to stop eating meat just yet, but surely I do want to decrease the amount and replace it with more vegetables and fruit (I guess for this purpose they should be very proteic vegetables, but I know little to nothing on the topic). What are your ideas? Also, I am willing to increase my knowledge on the topic, any books/videos/whatever to suggest? Thanks a lot!

When I am concentrating on something (eg. I am concentrated whilst I am studying) and try to become aware of the present moment, it is like if I switched my concentration to the fact that I am consciouss of this right moment. And thus lose that flow concentration on the thing I was doing...

So what you are saying is that you can actually focus and be conscious at the same time only when you reached a certain level of consciousness through meditation work? I see what you mean, but at the beginning of your post I notice how you tend to separate the two things, but what I have noticed is that concentration is considered core to be able to pursue enlightment, needed to achieve every goal, from the most mundane ones to the most spiritual. I am probably thinking black and white right now..

Hi Today I am coming back from a 24h experience with my coursemates (university) in a observatory. The whole thing was meant to spend some time together and do something that relates to what we study. So, what happened is that it ended up in a very "party like" thing, which in itself was very nice, but personally I had troubles living it. What I mean is that the other guys started doing chores during dinner, singing and dancing, talking of football or other stuff in which I have no interest. The thing is that I felt very detached from everyone and everything, I felt very lonely in an environment that was clearly very united. I didnt know the chores, didnt know the songs and couldn't sing along. I actually had to leave the room because this feeling was killing me. I reckon it would have been an opportunity to make new friends and stregthen relationships I had already formed, and I clearly did not manage to make use of it. I have the feeling now that it was an opportunity to get more into the group, and I failed it. Everyone was so seemingly happy and I could not relate to that. I was very lost as I didn't know how to behave. I felt like I was so disconnected to how a person would react to this kind of situation... Now I feel very bad about it. Has Leo made videos on relating topics? What have you got to say?

Yeah, when I saw it I was like "WTF, REALLY?!". Still have to watch it! I will come back here as soon as I have something to ask after having done some practice with what Leo suggests.

Hey bros/sisters As a university student I realised that I am really lacking good concentration. I have been doing some inquiry on how my life would be both as a student and as a person that is going for that self-actualization and I came to the conclusion (quite obvious, I know, but convincing the mind is always painful!) that If I had a sharp focus I would be in a totally different situation and most of my troubles would not exist. Now, I have been meditating not every day but almost every day for some months now, with Leo's guided meditation and sometimes without it, just in silence. I noticed that my mind does not quite shut down and actually I get distracted fairly easily. Could you suggest any techiniques to meditate that are meant to improve focus? I reckon any meditation is about focus, but as I have been doing till now it helped in different ways but my focus ability is quite meh...

Hi guys This is my first university year and I found a girl, friend of mine, to be following lectures with me. We've met a couple of years ago during a 2 weeks event and became friends but not very close. After that time we wouldn't text much and for 2 years I forgot of her (also because she lives quite far away from me). Now we are in the same course degree. During this 5 months period of lessons we got back in touch and started talk again. We sometimes do things together, like if I have to go somewhere I ask her if she wants to tag along and she usually accepts, and she does the same, but it all might feel much like a simple friendship thing. Lately though, I noticed that she seems to be interested in me, but not so much to give me the assurance she really is. Let me explain: she has a very kind, open personality, very cheerful girl. Sometimes we text each other and she asks things to continue the conversation so we keep talking. BUT sometimes when I ask her something she replies with a good answer but doesn't carry on. When we are face to face, we talk of this and of that and all good and seldom she would make some moves (that I can't really describe) but that give me hints that she could actually be attracted by me. For example, the other day we had to create groups to work in the lab. We needed to create groups of 4 people and they were 5 (she and her friends). So she asked me if I would like to join them and I accepted; at that point we were 6 and needed 2 other people. We found 2 random girls and we were eight. Now we had to split in 2 sub-groups of 4. She and her close friends were 5, but she insisted to let them be together as 4 and she came with me and the 2 other girls. See, she insisted quite hard, but I am not completely sure if she did it for her friends (so that they could work together) or rather for staying with me. HOWEVER her personality (that I reckon might make her behave like that also with close friends, maybe) and my misjudgment might prove me wrong. So I am not so sure she REALLY wants me. THe fact that we are good friends makes all this harder so I don't wanna screw up, lead by bad judgment. But I feel like she is actually waiting for me to make a move but still I don't have enough clues to get to the next step. Also she is always with her group of friends with which I made some connections recently but I am not really part of it. So I was thinking she might be blocked by it too, worried, perhaps, of what they would think of us 2 together. She rarely would come to me by herself during lectures breaks, unless she had to for "external" causes (although a couple of times she came to ask me how I was doing and so on). I usually have to go to the place where they sit all together (she and her friends) and talk to her. I am interested in give it a shot. I don't mind her and I am surely attracted to her. Also I didn't have any experience (I am 19) with other girls but I am somewhat a confident guy: I mind my own business in general and I don't care much of others, I don't have problem talking to girls if I have to although I don't see myself starting a random conversation for the sake of a pick-up. But overall I think I could make it work as far as personality goes, if only I didn't have this problem of her being a good friend: maybe I just think (based also on the fact that I somewhat like her) she is looking for me, whereas maybe that's just her way of behaving. I think it is clear we haven't had any kind of official date, like "Hey, do you want to eat something random with me?" kind of thing. But as said, sometimes we do stuff together, so it is not like we don't have close contacts at all. What do you guys suggest? I think she knows I am interested as well, I tried to make her understand that. In any case, Flirting advice given the circumstances?

Oh wow, you guys are awesome!. That's amazing. Thanks so much!!!!!

Thanks guys. This surely gave me some useful ideas. Any sources you know to get more knowledgeable on the topic? Books maybe? and Siim, what nuts/seeds do you recommend? This is a new branch of diet I would need to get into. Never eaten seeds really and nuts very few, and only toasted because that is what you find in supermarkets, at least here where I live...

I respect your point, but sincerely I don't see myself described in there and I doubt she is described in there too. I am not looking for sex, didn't even think about it while working on the situation (at least consciously). There are different types of men: surely I am not in the category of the "Savage chasing sex". I would not ever go with a bitch and that is also why I am selective with the girls I do like: there were only 3 in my life with whom I truly fell in love and the others I didn't even think of them. You can argue my way of considering women is not right. Good for you. For me that is how it should be and not gonna change it. Knowing the situation and living in it I reckon it feels weird to her more than to me and if she is genuinely not interested I'll know it soon and will respect her decision and move on. All in all I think we both still have potentially something to offer to each other and I will at least observe the situation till I don't see the "END" written somewhere and I am confident now that I will be able to read that. Your final advice will be, then, taken into account.

LOL. Thanks sister!

Yea, I see what you said there. Thanks bro. The "no pressure" part actually highlights my personality quite a bit to be honest. I completely undesrtand why you don't say that, just I would try to "make comfortable"/be nice even with a stool. So that's something I must keep under control.

No I didn't ask her to be in a relationship. But let me explain at this point, maybe I can get an even more insightful response from you: so, what happend is that I told her that I had to talk to her the day after. I had a generic plan of when where and what to say to her. Just circumstances fucked it up and what actually happened is that I had to do it at the end of lectures (which is not optimal, cause she had to go and take the train). Before quitting the class I looked towards her and she made me a gesture to tell me "don't go away" (and this after a whole morning during which we talked and laughed and didn't mention once about this "thing I had to say to her". This just to say that she was thinking of it the whole time for sure and I can't fucking believe she didn't know what I would have asked her). Anyway I waited for her to exit the classroom but she came out with her friends all around and she freking screamed at "WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME?!" [and I was really "Come on sistah, u dumb?!"]. So I couldn't really take her apart, thus I told her low voice if is she wanted to hang out and she said "If you want" and I specified "with no pressure" and she replied "Yea, no pressure, you said it right". Then I couldn't really keep talking of that cuz we were with all these other people. So in the afternoon I called her and told her about this thing (cuz I didn't want abandon the conversation halfway through and felt right to do so) and I pointed out that this had to be a very mindless thing, no forcing of any kind, after I clearly told her that I wanted "that something more". BUT she insisted in asking me "Well, you know what's my point of view, right?! I don't have a problem in hanging out, but you gotta know my point of view" so it was quite harsh imo and actually felt something you would say when you got 0 interest. So I just took the blow. That's how it went, pretty weird but keep in mind this is prolly my first time going serious about this, I had just 2 other "relationships" that were completely random. I don't want sex, I am looking for someone I can pass some good time with, that makes me feel right . And for experience in a domain of life that I haven't ever really gone into before now. The former is stronger though, I have quite a hard crush on her. PS: Prolly should have mentioned this: After this story, we sent each other few messages, some were very kind (when unrelated to this topic), the ones related to this were quite hard (e.g. I wrote her that we'll have to talk again and I tried to let her understand that my intentions were good saying "We gotta talk again, nothing to worry about anyway" and she answered like this "That's fine (although your "nothing to worry about things" are starting to getting me worried ahah")".

Rationally speaking I think you are right and I should do that. Emotionally it is not that easy! I will try, based also on what happens next. Surely I am not expecting her to get engaged with me anymore.

Update: So, this might switch the topic a lil bit, but that's ok. I asked her out although circumstances weren't quite optimal but it felt like the only moment possible. So she agreed to go out, but made it clear that she is not interested in a relationship (and with that I mean she is not interested in me whatsoever). So, this leaves me a bit confused: what I wrote in main post is not something that comes just from a personal perspective, I tried to be as objective as possible as I was observing her and it REALLY felt like it could end well. Needless to say that her clear response left me upset but also with the idea that going out together with this terms set would be just awkward and would not help neither me or her. We didn't set anything yet: I just asked her if she would love to go and eat something one of the next days and then we talked of that. So now I find myself in a very uncomfortable position: she didn't reject the idea, but she clearly rejected the possibility of a relationship. Not quite sure what I gotta do. I was thinking of telling her that it would be better to wait a bit. I told her ( I mean, I am sure she understood it right away, so I just made it concrete) what I was aiming at, very kindly, of course (I didn't tell her that I want a relationship or want to have sex or whatever); just told her I wanted to go a little bit beyond. That's it. As for our friendship, I am a little bit concerned. It wasn't hard enough to break it, but surely is something that can't be forgotten like if nothing happend. Experience anyway, I'll take it. I felt bad yesterday, today I am already recovering, although bitterness is there for the missed opportunity. P.S Her friends thought the same. She is weird ah

If you can, don't do it just yet. Wait till you have your mind clear. You don't wanna find yourself lost. Make a concrete plan beforehand. I remember have watched some videos on the topic. Just search on yt and you might find an answer for yourself. Me personally, for now, will keep studying although I already understood fullfilment on this path won't be high enough to pay all the efforts back. Not talking about the learning in itself, rather of the stress that comes with it. Good luck.

All good my friend. Imma ask her before the week ends. Their friends already told me she has a crush on me. She is just trying to show the minimum necessary to make me understand and then hides again. I got this. Thank all guys for the advice. I'll let ya know!

Thanks buddy. I surely will

I somewhat agree. But people don't feel like doing many things for multiple reasons. Comfort zone is called. That's why I agree to have a pragmatic action on this, but my mind says "you either ace it or lose it". That's what is holding me back. I feel like I gotta ace it, thus my resistance to the "Just do it" concept. I might be wrong that's why I wanted to hear an opinion from you! I will collect your ideas to create a better one of my own and act upon it.

I know you ain't. And I am being honest when I say that you are right. But as you might know, knowing that something is right, that doesn't mean it is easy or straight-forward. Here is 2.30 pm already and we live quite far from each other. Tomorrow I've got lectures anyway, will have time to talk to her. But I appreciate the motivation you are giving me. I don't know if it will be tomorrow or next week, but FOR SURE my attitude will be different after having read what you had to say. But no really, if y'all think it is simple to "just do it", this forum wouldn't exist. I will take inspiration and try to switch mentality from over-thinking to "just do it" for sure but realistically in a gradual manner. Never been an instinct guy: I always consider PROs and CONs of pretty much everything and look for a way to balance them and I am (unluckily maybe, but still that's how it is... that is the reason why I am looking for advice) doing just the same in this situation.

AHAHAHA you guys are killing me ahahahaha

You are hyping me up buddy. IMMA FUCKING DO IT! Face to face though, tomorrow is the day

AHAHAHAAH. More like "Slap her with that cock!"

I get you, but at least for me being confident doesn't necessarily mean taking risks. I am probably over-thinking it to understand what is the success ratio, considering I could have something to lose (a very good friendship, that might still be friendship but with a weird background of facts). But yeah, I'll do as you guys suggest. Btw I am careless in the sense that I don't have problems of any kind in terms of what others could think of me trying with her. Obviously I care of how SHE sees me, so you might say THIS is a not so confident point in my story, which is honestly true.

I'll see what I can do during this week. I'll try to flirt a lil bit more to see how she reacts. If she allows me to do so, I'll ask her out!