DawnOfReality

Slippery elm juice or pills can do as well?

@Space Thank you for your insights. Well, I've been into that for a while, at least 2 years. Been journaling, thinking and... It became a neurosis. Because I could not figure it out. Like if there was something to figure out. I ws trying to find the perfect path, being a perfectionist, and didn't come to any real conclusion by that. Surely writing has helped me with lots of things, so it is not in the method, rather in my mindset going into it. Ego-driven, wanting a path that would allow me results and achievements and freedom and deep satisfaction. I am kind of recovering now from that and I tend to be very alert not to fall in the same pit. What I found by working a 9-5 job now is that in the end I'd like to work on something more exciting like research, that is, working on something new. That's why I have the choice to keep my studies going. The question is: in what field? THat I don't know. I have too many interest and kinda feel stuck with deciding one and having to give up others. And as far as my initial question is concerned, given that I'm still not sure of what to pursue academically, and given the pandemic situation, what would be better for the next year to do? Anyway, I'll try journaling a bit more on it following your advice. I haven't tried writing what I don't want. Although seems overwhelming as a task: there are many things we don't want, far more than we probably do Just being curious: have you found what you want in the end? UPDATE: I got accepted by the university. Now I will have to make my decision! Holy crap, sounds heavy to do D:

Hi there! I'm dealing with a dilemma during these tough days and I would love to get some external insights, as far as possible, to help me better evaluate the situation. First off, I am currently dealing with university (bachelors in Physics) burnout recovery and pretty strong chronic anxiety, mostly due to perfectionism. I am tackling it with the help of a therapist and by doing spiritual work on myself and things are slowly but surely getting better. That being said, on the point now. I am currently smart-working as an IT conselour intern for a multinational company, with a pretty decent salary (being an internship). Also the growth opportunity is pretty great. Problem is: I don't really enjoy the job that much, and feels pretty much wasted time. But the pay is great and the job isn't that demanding which allows me to possibly have plenty of time to do side-stuff, as well as to recover from my psychological instability (no rushes, no highly stressing situations which would take me back to my previous neurotic state of mind). But I am also pondering the possibility to obtain a M.Sc degree with the intention to enter a research position somewhere, since I would like to find and create something new and meaningful rather than just working for money on by doing maintanance and support for IT systems. I still don't know what to do though, in what direction to pursue my Master degree and this research for the perfect path was one of the motives for my psychological breakdown which I am now beginning to overcome. At this stage, I am a candidate for the most important business school in my country and I am very likely to pass the tests and enroll in the course of Data Science. It felt interesting when I started the process of enrollment, although after my job experience my views changed a bit and now it is not as appeling as it was before. I was never sure about this path though, as I was with none anyway. I miss the idea of being able to do research and innovation rather that merely a highly classified and paid job as it would be for a data scientist (still, I am wondering if it's not just my perfectionism in action and maybe I should just take this opportunity which surely mustn't be taken for granted). My dilemma is: with all this coronavirus crisis during which many are losing their jobs, having a job as I do seems to be such a great opportunity in itself, even a blessing. Materialistically, money made now would be worth much more than if this virus didn't show up, since my salary isn't gonna change at all and I am able to "relax" (realtively speaking to my uni experience which was a non-stop trying to be the best and super productive kind of life) and save some money for another year. BUT I don't really enjoy the job. It kinda feels like a wasted year at a more personal level. At the same time, I haven't found what I would like to do with my life yet. Possibly, with the work I am doing with my therapist I could get some more insights during this time, also by removing ego layers which are the source of most of my decisions (or indecisions?). But I feel the pressure of "losing" another year. It seems like I am in hurry to get somewhere. Wouldn't I be late to get a Master? I am 23 currently. it would mean to start a M.Sc at 24. But would it be worth it to just choose some "random" university career because I just feel the pressure of time rather than letting my real self take the decision when it will be the right time, and enjoy my decision? Or, as said above, am I just doubting myself? What do you guys think? With these dark times, would you keep the job, keeping in mind how valuable it might be on a material standpoint, or would you go further your education, in spite of some indecisiveness? How will jobs and students/graduates be influenced by the approaching crisis? Adaptability seems to be of the utmost importance now, more than ever. Thank you, much love

@Space This is from where my questions stems, essentially. I still don't know what I want for sure and... that is why I am really indecisive about going on with my studies right away, because I don't know to what commit myself to just yet. I am sure knowing that would help giving me a direction. Just one note: I tried to look for my life purpose but it didn't work out quite yet. I find much more peace thinking that there isn't a predetermined purpose for me that I must uncover in some way, more like go with the flow and adjust, following and applying some gentle force towards the direction that feels right in that moment. Those adjustments become my choices now, which I am unsure. Hence I was trying to look at the situation as objectively as possible. @Galyna In my opinion, if you think that getting that M.Sc is what you want, if you clearly feel it, then go for it no matter what. This is what your true self wants, when you clearly feel something. Statistics should not hold you back. Learn it annd enjoy it as much as possible. If things get tough so much that you can't bare it anymore just swallow it, it will be stressful but getting there is what you really want and you must pass through some things that you don't completely like, or even hate. The only thing I disagree with is that thing of being golden after the M.Sc. In my experience, I can clearly tell that this kind of thinking is really... egoic and a delusion. You can be golden now, at this right moment, too. In fact, you are. I tend to stay away from that type of thoughts, because it usually happens that I get to my ego-goal, and then I set myself out to pursue another one, and another one, and another one. Never really enjoying getting to it.... Which means most of my time is lost, just thinking of the goal and doing the process whilst lost in thought. Anyway, I might generalise here. Maybe not your case! But yes, do it! When you know it, it's way simpler I find. It's when you don't know it that things are unclear and you kinda feel lost. @Onemanwolfpac The reason I am pondering the possibility to keep on working for a while is due to that specifically. Nobody is hiring. Seems valuable to have a job. Regarding curiosity, sure, I am curious and have lots of interests, but I am struggling to choose clearly at this point in time. ANd sadly I had no twinkling of my purpose yet. I was involved in this sort of fake personality during my years that now I have to re-discover what I truly love, and what I actually don't enjoy that much after all, and forced myself to.

Hi, I'll start by saying that I don't know much about business. Now, a relative of mine who is a director of a Russian firm has asked me to help him out with a deal. Let me explain better: I live in Italy and his firm buys a particular product needed for producing his own devices from an Italian firm. The latter leans on a Russian distributor to furnish his products in Russia. The problem is that the deal cannot be closed unless a minimum amount of pieces has been requested. So he asked me to help him find some firm or people who can buy monthly the number of pieces he needs so that he could send his couriers and pick those up. He needs a bypass (legal of course). I have contacted some import-export firms, but they only provide an export service and cannot or don't want to buy the products. So my questions are: 1) Are there any firms (called with a generic name) who can mediate for this kind of deal? I mean, import-exports cannot do that apprently, so I am not sure what should I look for. 2) Maybe I need a private (not a firm or company, that is) who has capital and is willing to that for me? But could he? I mean, there are surely regulations that one must be aware of about buying and selling again, especially if those products must be taken out of borders.. If I find someone who could buy those pieces of equipment, and my relative sends his couriers, these could take charge of all the border burocracy? 3) There could be other solutions? 4) Are there more specific forums or places I could ask for some advice about this? I hope there are knowledgeable people here as well, but I understand this is a very specific question! Just thought I could give it a shot. If anything, I can still be learning something from all this. Thank you guys.

Hello, lately I noticed that most of my negative mental patterns (I think A LOT and can't really seem to stop at times) are related to these fundamental belief that negative thoughts or behaviours are important for me in some fundamental way which I can't really understand for the most parts. For example: Being a student, managing mental health is important in my life, and a must-do. This should mean, in my understanding, being relaxed, keep calm when exams dates approach and especially being collected during the tests to ensure that all goes well. BUT my mind keeps telling me and convincing me that stress (which drove me to insanity one month ago, to the point that I collpased and even cried in desperation and hopelessness) is good and I must not completely let go of thoughts that tell me that exams might go badly, or that time is ticking and I must hurry, that stress is good for some reasons (this last one probably due to the fact that I've always been told that some stress or fear can increase peformance.. although my stress levels are at a point which make me perform rather poorly, but despite that I cannot let go!). All that even though I know that being calm and tranquil make me think clearer and recall information better, performing better overall. I think I found the cause of all that (which extends also to other aspects of my life): I believe that if you don't experience bad things as well, you are missing something in life, you are giving up some possible experiences that make your life fuller. Evidently I don't want to let go of drama: I understood this but I don't know how to get rid of this crippling belief. Could you help me? Thank you

Thank you, this answer helped and will help me a great deal. I'll try and come back if I'll feel I need some more advice

Thank you all for your replies. The response of @Nahm is certainly very deep and something I must humbly say that I still did not get to the point of understanding it fully. I thought about this leap of faith, and even rationally, when thinking of all the good reasons to stay relaxed and calm instead of stressing out... It doesn't click. As you say, even without telling me why, this neuroses is preventing me from taking the leap. Maybe I should do some visualizations or affirmations to make my mind see that being free of negative thoughts will be beneficial in all possible ways?

Hi there! So, I am still trying to figure out what my purpose is in life, and I am trying to explore a bit various domains in order to see, touch things and try so that I can keep that process of discovery alive (I guess that if I keep asking myself the question "Would I like to ********?" and can't think of an answer that isn't "Idk", this should be my first step). Nontheless, I am pursuing a degree in Physics that I do not like that much. I decided to finish it anyway, because I have just one year left. But in my studies, if there's one thing that keeps me from completely giving up is Math. I kinda like Math when I do it, but... Whenever I think of a future job or any life experience, Math is not there. I like it, but it is the exact opposite of a life full of good experiences and emotions that I look forward to. It is cold, tends to rationalize everything and I fear the possibility of becoming a cold person if I get myself into TOO much Math. So, for example, I was thinking of a possible alternative to Physics, Finance. Finance has much more to do with the living world whereas Physics is on its own, inside labs. But in Finance Math is very well used. Something in my mind keeps me from appreciating it 100% just because Math is in it. I thought about this issue (that seems much like a limiting belief in some ways) and it turned out that in my vision of the world, I can't see how Math fits in. It looks to me like an artificial thing, that is detached from the real, warm human life, and I can't see its place in a more spiritual view. So I wanted to ask if you could give me your vision of Math related to everything else or some suggestions for books that might give me a better idea of what Math is for the world. Thank you!

It all comes down to what is that you really want to achieve in life. You can realise yourself spiritually through "mundane, materialistic" work and that means that you are willing to work hard for it because you know that is your life purpose. You can enjoy life through work if done consciously, if you are not forced to do it and matches your true being. So I don't quite agree. You can be present in your work, if you truly enjoy it

Just a quick note: As you go through it, think of it constantly. During your day. While you work, while you study, while you read, when you fail and when you succeed. Especially the theory part, IT MUST GET INTO YOUR BRAIN, YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS. That's the only way to make a behavioural change as someone said here. I found that in practice you might not discover precisely what your purpose is, it depends much on who you are and what your life is/has been. But if you change your behaviour based on those insights that make absolutely sense, stuff will start to happen. YOu'll start to recognise those patterns that Leo is teaching you. You'll start to see how everything plays out. And keep, keep, keep looking at the world with those eyes. That builds up a successful mindset. I still gotta go through Purpose Assessment, as I have been working and grinding hard on those values, to make them the most authentic possible. But I must tell you: I worked much harder on changing the way I think of life. And now I know what to do, and I see how most things started to play out in my favour, because now I subconsciously know how to exploit life situations to make progress on this path. Half course and I am already in the Hero Journey if you wish. Change your mind and be patient.

04/10/2017 - VERY GOOD Slept not too well, woke up lil bit tired. MORNING ROUTINE: learnt new pieces of workout. Little to no meditation. I need a more consistent way of meditate. I'll use Leo's guided meditation from tomorrow for 2 weeks. EVENING ROUTINE: choose tomorrow's outfit. Journal and think about what you have to do in the following days, and plan tomorrow. I must keep working on myself along-side my studies. Need to balance the two and plan around the first one which is definitely more important atm. Can't work on LP while commuting without distractions. Do LP work at home and during the journey study or revise notes. Plan 2 hours of studying daily and rest dedicate to yourself. On weekends plan a couple of hours to research stuff secondary stuff (more workouts ideas, body-care etc.) and work a consistent time on how to take effective notes and ways to learn better. SMALL STEPS TO FIX MY CURRENT CHANGES --> Routines and way of organizing my life-style.

Hello y'all. This will be my continuation and completion of my personal written diary. Why have I started one on the forum? Two main reasons: Here, more than anywhere else, even on my personal written diary, I feel I can confide my personal affairs with no shame. Here everything is allowed when it comes to personal growth. This gives me more freedom to write stuff down and be honest with myself. I don't know if anyone will read this (if yes, you're welcome), but thinking that this is going to be open to the public forces me to be more comprehensive and try to explain things better to others, and above all, myself. So I got the Life Purpose course and I am working hard on it. I am 20 and had a very strong identity crisis, felt lost in life, my studies in college seemed to match my interests no more... actually I still don't know what my "new" interests are. So I am searching, and making changes overall in my lifestyle. Always been part of the Personal Development geeks, definitely got better in certain aspects of life, but many others, still have to work on.

03/10/2017 - EXCELLENT Today was brilliant. New workout, Amazing! Could not get to the end, but this will keep me busy for a while, the time my body will need to keep up with it. So now my morning routine is set. Just gotta keep it up and I am on the way to build a deep grounded healthy habit. Creativity in dressing: I thought about a possible combination that looked great in my mind's eye, something I would never ever come up with. Pull it off and it was terrific. Felt comfortable with myself, neat and clean. That boosted my confidence and gave me satisfaction since I am not a creative guy and this was definitely a creativity flash. And day went pretty smooth. Had fun with my fellows in Uni and also studied a bit. As I got back home, I worked on my Life Purpose for 2 hours straight in full concentration. Almost done refining my values. In some days I'll be able to keep going with it. THOUGHTS: Too much self-concern. I am always worrying about my look. I mean, I am definitely improving but it is sometimes a very obsessive way of doing. I am noticing it strongly. STYLE PINPOINT: clothing that fits is the ultimate solution. LIFE PURPOSE AND PERSPECTIVE: I am very much concerned with how people are taught stuff. The way of teaching these days is spoiling the natural potential of all human beings. As an IMPACT IDEA I would like to contribute to the rise of a new type of education based around personal development (first thing first, learning how to learn) and spirituality (meditation especially) to boost the natural abilities of the individuals. This way people would get much more involved in the subject, with higher efficiency and quality results without getting alienated by constraints of society and without the pressure of studying for marks. I find very noble the act of teaching and I value (possible new authentic VALUE?!) very much effective ways of teaching that aim more to the comprehension, in depth, of a concept rather than mere lists of data. I still can't figure out whether I value simplicity or being rigorous in teaching. Is it possible to make both? How should it be done? EXPLORATION PROCESS: I am feeling lost. Having started University again, my interest has risen quite a bit, whereas I thought I was a lost cause just few days ago. I need to figure out if it would be helpful to keep studying while pursuing my true life purpose alongside. Learning is still part of me, and Physics definitely represents a good field of potential research on personal development. My concern is that I might not be truly interested in the subjects themselves. And as for now, I don't feel like it is my path, although I find some things quite enterteining to study, and fun. My idea was to explore all values (and even some not in my top 10 but in which I could have an interest) by writing down a specific action so that I could gain some knowledge on that matter and see if it could interest me for real. SIMPLICITY OF THE UNIVERSE: is the Universe simple to understand? Is rationality a good way to explore it? or it is just an illusion of knowledge? and if it is not, how can we get, by what means can we get to the core of it, to fully understand it? I don't think math is a solution. You don't experience it. That is why sometimes, despite loving it, it bothers me so much.. PARETO PRINCIPLE: I can't afford to lose all my time on studies this semester. I must have at least a half-decent plan for next year ready by December. Cut the probably useless details and go for the big stuff, by fully understanding it. If you fully understand it, you are good to go. Those details can be gathered later if needed.

This. This is underrate by people. Practice this and your life will sky rocket.

02/10/2017 - Monday Yesterday has been a pretty relaxed day. Friends coming up to have a party for my bro's BD. So could not find the time to update this. Nothing important happened. Morning routine DONE. Evening, not been able to. TODAY Morning routine DONE; Evening routine DONE I am feeling hard to put the evening routine in place. I am always half asleep at this time. And I go to bed early as I gotta wake up early. It felt like my plan for the morning was not clear enough. I needed a real workout plan, for a beginner, but that was complete and would require 30 mins. So as I got back from Uni, I started to look up and wrote it down. I am feeling excited to take action on it. I'll definitely have more energy and my body will feel better and nicer in the days to come. I am way too obsessed with my clothing. Most of my pieces are over-sized and I am always trying to make it fit perfectly to look good and elegant. But that can't work perfectly as they are not meant for my kind of body. I should take them to a tailor or just live with it and improve my closet buying clothes that actually fit. First day of Uni. I gotta talk with Prf. Paolo. Tell him about me not being inspired in keeping up on this track. I either need to find some inspiration by talking to someone or reading some books, or just take a break and use that time to explore a bit. *I am feeling kinda dissatisfied with what I am writing right now. It feels like I am forcing it to write something; like if I am writing this to somebody.* I need to schedule my time giving LP course my priority. Every day at least 2 hours a day. This work is my primary concern this semester. I'll try to keep it going for some days, maybe is just the change of medium that bothers me a bit. I must get used to keeping a digital journal. Paper still there if it does not look like I'll feel better about it.

30/09/2017 - Saturday VERY GOOD Yesterday I decided to actually implement a daily routine, morning and evening. I have tried to do so at least a couple of times in the last 2 years. But I eventually quit, reason being, after an attentive overlook, that I lacked specific action. It would always be something like: "Tomorrow I will exercise and..." So the day after, early in the morning, sleepy and groggy, I would have to exercise, with no exercise plan. So better find a plan and start tomorrow. Etc. Now I set a plan. It is not the ultimate plan, but good for starting. Moreover, I am aiming at becoming an early riser. So I am starting with a nice and quiet morning routine, small steps, so that I can put in place my early wake-up habit. MORNING ROUTINE: Exercise (30 minutes) (Not gonna write the whole plan down) Meditate (30 minutes) Revise day schedule Note on the sleep diary Shower EVENING ROUTINE: Revise English vocab. flashcards Write Journal (how'd the day go and IDEAS to work on) Write next day's schedule down Read (if time is left) Today I accomplished successfully the morning routine and started this Journal as my evening one. Free day tomorrow, so I don't have to make a plan yet. I'll work on my Life Purpose. Have to find out whether those goddamn values are truly mine or not. i can't fully connect with the ones I wrote down. I worked hard, but I don't really understand what I want to do in my life. Have actually no idea. If prior ideas were not completely mine, rather something I gathered from my surroundings, now that I have understood that that path might not be authentically mine (despite still liking it somewhat), I don't know where to go. At least, I got the guts to tell my parents I am going on my own path, and that I am ready to make big changes, a thing they would not have expected from me, as they thought what I was doing was truly what I loved doing. How to blame them, I thought that too...

Hi I am working on my values. I have been working on these for a week, done the process twice and got almost the same results with both the processes. So here is the problem: although I got the same results twice and despite most of the values feel quite accurate, when I look at them I honestly don't feel very satisfied. And I cannot discern if it is either self-doubt by my lower-self that is trying to sabotage me (to use Leo's words) or it is actually inauthenticity. Is there a way to actually see that? I feel my own mind is hiding something, playing tricks and I struggle very much to dig deeper. I lack clarity, in a nutshell. Maybe I should stick with those for now and go on anyway? In pass 10 Leo says clearly that I should look at those and feel "myself"; so I don't know if it is good enough, my list, to keep going or I should refine it better. If the latter option, I would love some advice. Thanks you very much, cheers!

Thank you @Saarah . I am working it out today. I have two more question relating Strengths this time, but are pretty much the same problem: 1) there is this strength (that test rated as my #1) which is Prudence. Now, it is definitely a trait of mine, also a quite visible one, and I can somewhat see how it can be useful in certain situations, but I also think it could be a weakness. So it is not clearly a strength in my opinion. It made me do good things in the past, but also held me back a lot, and I almost feel this is why I am taking this course. Do you think I should get rid of it and replace it with another one? I can see only Perseverance (out of the other 19 strengths) being authentically mine, but especially these days, I do not embody it at all. I almost always drop. I keep up doing only if it seems REALLY REALLY important. If it is important but not enough, I drop whatever task that is. (Btw, I just want to see another point of view, not an answer to what to do. In my opinion, I should get rid of it, and put Perseverance. Prudence will come in handy anyways, it's not like I won't be prudent anymore.) 2) Gratitude is a trait of mine with which I have replaced Fairness-Equity-Justice, because I felt this one was stronger. BUT I don't see how it can be considered a Strength!!! I mean, Prudence could be a weakness as well, so I have an opinion on what to do at least, but gratitude, it can't be a weakness so I am clueless about this one. It feels just a character quality to me

Ok, I decided that I'll write everything here right away, mostly to force myself to be comprehensive and really explain everything that is going on. Hope it won't be a too long of a post, but I will be grateful if you'll read and give me some insights. (If you don't wanna read all, I am especially in need for some advice on Knowledge, as I described a problem I have and which I'll have to take action on the next days, you'd help me twice with that) Top 10 Values (so far, and in order): Personal development Truth/Consciousness/Wisdom Impact Adventure Independence Courage/Self-discipline Elegance/Order/Beauty Humor Knowledge Creativity First thing first: Efficiency used to be in top 3, as it has always been part of my mindset. That is REAL value of mine but I reckoned it was part of Personal Development, in my view. (But I noticed I am very sad not to see that word on the list anymore, because it was a part of self-development that has a priority for me, the most important part of self-development). I put Creativity instead. I'm going to summarize what each value means for me and what problems I have with it, trying to dig into my mind as deeply as possible: PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT: Master most domains of human psychology and behaviour, like how we learn, how can we be efficient in what we do (work smart), how to relate to other people in an effective way, how to manage well our resources (e.g. finances) and to be successful in life in general. Explanation: this is a pillar of mine. I have always been into it since I was 12 I think. It just bothered me to be as good as I can possibly be to get the best out of the things I get involved with. In some domains I am motivated negatively (mostly intimate relationships and maybe a bit forced in being successfull in academics by my family, but especially the last one is still a point I have real personal interest in, learning, thus knowledge being in my values list, I'll discuss it later). Another "problem" I see, is that I find a strange resistance to the idea of working in this field, as a job; it feels more like an instrument to achieve something else. That means I don't quite see myself coaching others for example, despite loving to talk with other people about it (but they usually don't seem to care ) and appreciating somewhat the idea that my ideas could help them solving some of their problems. Maybe I am pushing myself too far in the future and in "what I could be doing", but I can't help it. Resistance over here! TRUTH (the other words in the list above are synonymous for me): Discovering what existance is about. What secrests hide behind reality that covers them. Who are we, what are we here to do, how God (in the spiritual sense) moves everything. Spiritual work I guess. Explanation: I had been introduced to it by my mum and it really felt the ultimate purpose of life. This is in my value list as I can clearly see that if I didn't get a glimpse of it during my lifetime, I would feel like I wasted it. In spite of that, I consider myself still attached to material achievements: in fact I can't really get how people can be happy meditating in a monastery for the rest of their lives BUT I can see that there is a strong motivation, that there is Truth in what they are doing, just I am maybe not spiritually developed to feel it yet (it sufficies to say that I got into it before Actualized.org took this more spiritual path, and I still rememeber how in the early days I felt it was a pity that he wouldn't dig deeper in spirituality, which I could see being the only valuable thing... although not following too much this idea in my life). I want to work towards it but without renouncing to material life just yet. That being said, I got quite biased on this one, as I got into it by reading a book that explains the philosophy and practice of a fairly different discipline which is purna-yoga. It aims at the same thing, but in a different way. So every other way feels unnatural or wrong to me. Limiting belief I guess. In fact even my basic meditation habit finds resistance which comes from this believes I have. I think this is a value of mine but I sort of can't see myself embody it, at least not in the short term. That is why I am unsure. IMPACT (on other people/society): Helping others in bettering their lives OR move them in an emotional way. Explanation: I do not have a clear view on this one, nor a strong gut feeling for it. It mostly comes down to the fact that if you don't help others, if you do not contribute, your life is somewhat pointless; but I can see that this could bring some fulfillment. I am always happy to help others, and knowing that they solved a problem thanks to me makes me feel good (but not THAT good, although I don't really know what good is for sure). I for example like telling other how they could improve themselves, or if they can't get through an exercise (college colleagues) and they come to me I am always glad to do good. Moving emotionally, instead, comes from the idea that I really value emotions in life. I feel shit when I am in a bad situation, but somehow, some time later, I can even see how good it is to have felt bad in that moment, just because it gave a certain undertone to the context (Either a romantic outlook on life or masochism ). But obviously I value especially "feel-good" moments. So, most of the time, music makes me feel like that, either happy, or charged or melancholic. Or also, have some kind of impact on society. I appreciate the ideas of different ways to make it work differently as I am not a big fan of capitalism. I used to be into political philosophy and I'd like to learn how economy works. But I have a feeling that this one feels more right to do than "it's me". Still, why not do it, I am thinking, change for the better is always a good thing. ADVENTURE: travel, know other cultures, other people and follow your calls, doing experiences and trying what life has to give you. Explanation: This one is the most "I wish I could" as my congruence is 1/10, and it pairs well with the next one, which is why it is 1/10. Anyway, I'd love to travel and see the world and meet interesting people. I find the variety of the world fascinating, especially cultures and natural places. With experiences though, I mean a more wide thing: do stuff you never did (even washing the dishes, so at least I know how to do it, that is what I think; although I usually slack off), trying some jobs, go on some crazy adventure and, especially, take up the Hero Journey. I think that would make you feel really alive (but I never experienced, I traveled just once recently and that is it). But if I am being honest SOME of it could be just me looking for toxic excitment, fueled up by the media (so maybe some negative influence?). AND maybe it could be due to the fact that I never had any of this kind of experiences, which makes me think that I could be a value when it is not. I am not sure. Lastly, I see this as difficult to achieve, given my personal/economical situation plus my biggest strenght being prudence LOL INDEPENDENCE: being free from society conventions and duties. Being able to take your own decision freely, without anyone breathing on your neck, so that you can follow the path you truly want. Explanation: Congruence rating: 1/10. Lack of money, living in a isolate place made me used to the idea that I am stuck really. I feel like I have to work/study hard so that I can help my family (or think I am helping, I can see the subtlty); but I have got a fair amount of money with scholarships thanks to my hard work and this strengthened the idea that I should keep doing that. So, probably this is a 50/50 positive/negative value. But I really hate the fact that people, who should be naturally free, are forced by something not very clear being society to do certain stuff and to fit in. That just does not sound right to me. But I have no idea how to get out. I am stuck in my view. And that is why I cannot go on adventures! COURAGE: Having the guts to pursue your goals whatever the risks and obstacles. Explanation: Ok, I think mostly that this is a "you should be like this because it is right to be so" than me embody this principle. It should be clear by the last 2 points why I do not embody courage. BUT I admire brave people. I wish I was like them. Is this a good reason to make it a value of mine? I feel a strong "you should be like this" but a low level "it is me". Self-discipline I put it together because it is almost the same thing: do what you gotta do, day after day, no matter what. But they could differ a bit, as courage for me is more about a big endevour, self discipline more about tasks and small, daily goals. This one, I am probably best than other people (although I might have been brought up in an environment that kept telling me that I should do this and that, so I am not sure if it is genuine, probably it is, as I guess most people's values they take them from the environment), but nowhere near being disciplined. ELEGANCE/ORDER/BEAUTY: Dress elegant, do things with gracefulness and keep things in order (room/office tidy, organize your day etc.) Explanation: This is half toxic. 40% let's say. I got this idea of being elegant both because I like the way elegant people look (both in clothing and motion) but also because I wanna look good to other people's eyes. Especially girls (Self esteem issue over here? I guess so). BUT I have done a year of Aikido (martial art) and loved its elegance in movements. It just blew my mind. I practiced 1 year with very good results (and then stopped because of lack of independence ahah, I was strong in it and enjoyed it though... ) and in just that single year (which was 4 years ago now) I still have some moves, I embodied it in my daily gestures. And I feel proud of it as I think it is beautiful. Order in things just gives me clarity of mind, and ordered stuff gives me a sense of chill and beauty. HUMOR: Laugh and make people laugh. And do not take life so seriously. Explanation: I feel satisfied when other people laugh to my jokes, not just because I feel appreciated, but especially because I know thanks to me someone is having a good time. I've always been a somewhat funny guy, but I lost it a bit with time and got it back just recently as I thought it was important to laugh. My sense of humor is not big by any means. In fact I am usually too damn serious about life and I recognize that very clearly. And I feel it is wrong. It's better, both for achievement and overall wellness to take it easy. So the "don't take life too seriously" statement is something I feel is right deep inside, but in an authentic way. This has to be a value of mine but I don't feel like I am strong in it, which is why I sometimes doubt it. KNOWLEDGE: Learning about life in general. Explanation: So, this is my life in a nutshell. and probably a tricky one. First thing first I think knowledge is important, because it makes you better as a person, it allows progress, and in a sense, if you don't learn, you are living for nothing. I can see the importance of this with clarity. That being said, I have been learning for my whole life but in a very neurotic way. I am just 20 so it makes sense that this is what I have been doing most of the time. But most times I'd study because I have to, rather than I really want to study that thing. Sure there are things I find interesting (Personal Development especially) and I truly enjoy, but it was mostly a compulasary thing for me. I felt I had to do it for my self-image and for a sense of duty, BUT I enjoyed the process, the idea of having more knowledge overall, of knowing how it works. It felt nice but not indispensable. I'll try to explain this one: for example, right now I am studying Physics in college. I thought I liked Physics as I liked it in High School, as well as I liked Math. And I was pretty good at it. When came the time to choose, I was not sure 100% if I had to go with Physics or something else ( Economics and Philosophy were my other options): there was a certain interest but not a burning flame to do it and I don't consider myself strong in it, I am doing decently just because I know what hard work means, being it neurotic or not. So right now, I am doubtful because I like it but I feel it is not my thing 100% but at the same time it could just be that I am making up in my mind the wrong image of physics and what being a physicist really means; I am thinking that it is not really that important to read graphs that tell you that a new particle has been found, I mean, it does not directly affect people or our life and thus looks a bit pointless to me. Sure our knowledge of the physical world grows, but it is too much for its own sake. On the other hand I can feel how exciting it would be, and also I wonder whether there are other ways to be a physicist than the one I am thinking of and I still value the mindset Physics gives you to approach problems. Also I have a mania for how good mathematical equation can be and how much they can tell you in a single string,sometimes is more about that than Physics itself. That is to say that I value Knowledge, but sometimes it feels pointless, especially if I compare it to knowledge in the spiritual domain (which, on the other hand, looks much more difficult to attain and with less impact on material life), so I don't really know if you could consider a value or not. Certainly I could not imagine myself a life without learning, that would be even more pointless. At this point I am thinking that I might just be involved in the wrong domain of learning and I am afraid to admit it. And I definitely feel a duty to go to college, as my life has been all about learning, this feels my only option right now. Learning itself feels my only option. CREATIVITY: Doing stuff in different ways and actualize what you have in mind. Explanation: This one was a replacement, but now that I am writing about it, it probably is not a value of mine. Is it enough to say that? I just think creativity is REALLY important and useful and I definitely wished I had it, but I am not, by any means, a creative person, and honestly, never tried to be (maybe because efficiency is my prominent value). So I guess this takes it out of the list (?) CONCLUSIONS (?): I feel like I am judging very much these values with what my future has to be. Probably I the fact that they look inauthentic is because I can't see myself living a possible life that involves all those. Seems to fairy-tale in my eyes. And some of them are definitely negatively motivated. When I thought they were all positive but courage. Knowledge is definitely negatively motivated, as well as courage (which might not be a value of mine) and maybe Independence. I tried to be as self-honest as possible. I find it hard to dig deeper. I wrote about it but most things I cannot make up my mind yet. And if you arrived till here, thank you It took me 4 hours of typing and self-inquiry. I did not hold back.

@Saarah Thank you. Tomorrow I'll devote my day to this process and if I still have any doubts I'll share with you guys! Meanwhile, tonight I worked on my strengths and that seemed to be pretty smooth!

@eskwire I'll surely be looking mindfully. But it is hard as there is so much deception. However, despite being sort of aware of it before doing this course, getting in touch with the tricky mechanisms of our mind really blew me away. Damn, it is so interesting, yet frustrating! Thanks for your responses. Hopefully someone with a more practical advice (if there are any at all) will provide some help. Observation was already in my plan (as well as corrections to the list through experiences)

Just finished reading this one. Pure Wisdom. Every sentence is an entire book. Read this one if you need inspiration to make changes in your life. And yeah, I think you got to be an emotional type to make it resonate. If you are, this book will blow your mind... and heart.

So? How was your 30 days challenge? I am in a very similar situation and oddly enough we have the same way of approching the problem. I am curious to see how it is going for you. Cheers

Hey I can't help you much as I am in a similar situation. I am not sure of what I really want. BUT we differ in the fact that I purchased the course! I can just tell you that I was unsure whether to buy it or not. Then I followed my heart so to speak. And I can tell you, th course is very emotional, thus it really inspires you. It puts things into perspective. Sure, my mind is resisting this shift of thought, but I can tell you, I am half-way through and I already feel a change in the way I think. And I clearly feel that I am building day after day the mindset that you'll need to actually be brave to do your choices. Just for that, it is worth it. I thought ( being, honestly, in a poor family ) that I would follow the course and then take money back, cheating so to say, hoping that I would find what I had been searching during that 50 days time period during which you can ask the refund. Man, no shit, I am not asking a refund of a single buck, I am so grateful I found it. It changes you, it really does, and no matter what you'll decide to do, you'll be a new man. Sorry if it does not answer your question directly, just wanted to give you an insight on the course.