Siegfried

I haven't logged into Actualized in a long time, but I've been doing well and keeping track. Finishing my last semester of college was an absolute whirlwind of activity between work, planning to move to England, finishing up classes etc. So here's where I am now: Health: 247 lbs. For more than a month now I've run at least three times a week and can run 4 miles now pretty comfortably. I'm considering training for a marathon next year, a huge bucket list item for me. I even joined Weight Watchers with my girlfriend, which I think is a really sustainable eating plan that focuses on reasonable, healthy choices over the long term. Money: I've gotten more credit card debt, but actually started my own business which is doing ok and a huge learning experience. Mental Health: 10/10 I've meditated regularly for almost five months now and the difference is enormous. I feel more in the moment and at peace than I have in my entire life. I feel so different that I was actually a bit worried about losing some of the defining characteristics of my personality (which in the past have been arrogance, snarkyness, depressiveness that contributed to my persona as a "writer") but I've learned that that kind of thinking, "I" thinking, is ridiculously and not worth wisdom and happiness. \ Other Goals I started my blog, which focuses on travel, adventure and self development. It keeps me writing and I'm so happy to have it off the ground. I've realized that my writing career is extremely important to me and that I need to focus on it without getting too distracted by other goals. My goal for the blog is to write one article a week for the rest of the year. Reading: I started a reading challenge which has seriously boosted my reading habits. I read every day (a lot of it great self-development stuff like The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg) and am reading about a book a week. I Moved Abroad!! This was a huge one for me. I've moved to England!!! This has had a huge effect on making me feel like I'm really chasing my dreams. I'm staying with my girlfriend and trying to save some money, so it's not a big crazy vacation and a bit quiet at times, but it's a chance for me to really soak up another culture and experience new things. I've been here a month now and it really feels like home. I've gotten pretty used to it by now but sitting here writing about it I really feel proud of myself from how far I've come. Graduating College: I graduated in the spring but still have a "victory lap" to do as I complete some online courses. I'm doing pretty well at it and not procrastinating, studying a bit each morning with regularity. Adventures: Travel and adventure is what I'm all about. Running three times a week and walking the dog every day is great for getting me into the outdoors. There's lots of great trails near the house and I get into the woods almost every day. But I'd like to get out camping some more. Next weekend my girlfriend and I are going camping and next month I'm planning on hiking the South Downs Way, a 100 mile trail through Southern England Habits: My habits have completely changed. I start most days with either strength training or a long run outdoors, then have a healthy breakfast and spend some time reading while I have coffee. Then I study or work on my classwork for a while, do a few chores, and work in the afternoons. While I'm working I usually listen to business or travel podcasts. In the evening I write, work on the blog, or relax with my girlfriend and her family, read some more and meditate before sleep. It's a huge difference from where I started this year, not having the energy to get off the couch or the motivation to do anything other than watch Netflix. I had a lot of dreams, but none of the habits to propel me there. And that's completely changed. This morning I watched "The Most Important Commitment You Can Make," and really realized that the difference between my dreams and reality was committing. So here's me committing. I've decided to dedicated myself to my self-actualization, starting with posting here every Sunday. I plan on using this journal as a record of some basic goals and progress tracking, as well as a sounding board for some of my deeper self-development. Where I am Now: Weight: 256 Bank Account: $10 Debts: $3,500 credit card and personal loans, $40,000 school loans Eating Habits: Trying to eat healthy, but binging on sugar regularly Mental Health: 6 or 7/10. Habits: Watching more than two hours of Netflix a day, procrastinating on homework (and everything else), skipping class, not exercising (except for walks and bike rides), but doing well at my part time job (not missing days, completing all work well), partying and drinking one or two nights a week, journaling about once a week, not reading very regularly, getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night. My Top Goals (For the next 8 years, before age 30): Live abroad at least two years Learn French and one other language fluently Weigh Less than 200 lbs. Hike the Pacific Crest Trail (or Camino de Santiago, any 1 month plus trail) Backpack for a year around the world Publish a book Become sustainably self-employed and debt free Goals for 2016 Get weight down to 215 Graduate Move abroad Establish some emergency savings Get rid of credit card debt and personal loans Start a travel/lifestyle blog

Week 8 Well, last week wasn't much better. I've really slipped in my self-actualization habits. Having my girlfriend in town (we do long distance) pretty much occupied me for two weeks. I've had this problem before of getting really into a goal, obsessing over it, and pursuing it like crazy, and then after a while letting it slip away and moving to another goal. But I keep coming back to this. I made a commitment that I would pursue this project for four years, until May 2020, and I'm not going to let missing a week or two de-rail that. Current Weight: 251.4 (yikes, i didn't want to see that number again) Goals for This Week: Finish My Job Application Post on my Blog Work out three times Meditate daily Read daily

@OceanJjb You might find people are more supportive than you'd think! I was a bit anxious about posting these, but decided that wasn't a winning attitude. Fuck em, post what you think will help you succeed.

Week 7— Returning from break. Weight: 248.8 I didn't finish out my daily actualization tracker for week 5, and skipped week 6 altogether. I've missed a few days, but I skipped week six on purpose as it was spring break and I wanted a FULL break from everything: school, work, even self actualization. I really needed that time mentally to just be in the moment. Accomplishments: I started my own blog this week! It feels great to finally do something I've been talking about for so long. Areas to Improve: I need to get back to eating healthier and exercising more as I've let the habits slip a bit and gained a few pounds back as a result. Change of Habits: It felt good to pursue the same goals for a full month, but with the new month I'm allowing myself to whittle them down. So until the end of April my only "habit" goals will be: Meditate Daily, Read Daily, Exercise Three Days a Week. I find that everything else I manage best by making adjustments day to day and don't want to try and force a habit for. Goals for the rest of this week: Exercise once Complete application for executive assistant position Meditate and read every day

Beginning of 1st month End of 1st Month This past month has changed my life tremendously. I've lost about nine pounds, changed my habits, and even started my own business. I'm so proud of myself for sticking to this for a month straight, and am excited to see what kind of results two months, six months, a year can make. Week 4 Review: Weight: 247.8 (+0.4 lbs) Habits: Meditation: 4/7 Exercise: 1/3 Reading: 7/7 Homework: 2/6 French: 4/7 Areas of Success: I had a lot of advancement in my business this week and am failing forward fast. I’ve gotten Victor on board as well and he’s excited. I’m confident that this is going to really change everything. I really enjoyed reading The Four Hour Workweek. Areas to Improve: I slipped a lot this week. I’ve eaten poorly because of stress, and much of that stress hasn’t actually resulted in me getting anything done. I’m exploding my work and thinking it will take me all day, resulting in me dreading it and not actually doing any of it. I felt pretty tired this week because of all this stress and ironically didn’t work out, which would have been an enormous stress reducer. Lessons Learned: Working out is a major priority. Don’t be intimidated by your homework. Other Notes: I am proud of myself for not giving this up despite some slip-ups. This kind of week would have completely de-railed me in the past. Goals for Week Five: 100% success rates for habits Complete everything on my "To-Do" List before Friday so I can really enjoy Spring Break Exercise four times

Already finished with week three! This is still just the beginning, but I already feel that I've made some life-long changes. This week will be a month of keeping this record, and seeing myself become more successful in one of my worst areas (sticking to my goals) is making an enormous difference in how I think about myself. I feel strong, and I feel like I can keep going. Week 3 in Review: Weight: 247.6 (Weight loss to date: 8.4 lbs!) Habits: Meditation: 5/7 Reading: 7/7 French: 7/7 Homework: 4/7 Exercise: 3/3 Areas of Success: I significantly improved in French this week through an app I discovered called HelloTalk, and have been communicating regularly in French with people around the world. I've read a huge amount this week and joined a 52-books in 52-weeks challenge, which will mean bumping up my daily reading from 20 to 30 pages. I've also had a lot of huge advancements in terms of starting my own online business and have gotten connected with other people who have the same goals as me. Areas to improve: Homework, ah, homework. At the end of a long day of work and class it's been really difficult to get myself to do more than the bare minimum. I'm going to break that this week by making sure that I push TWO hours a day, and make it a top priority for me to accomplish this. I need to force myself to take it as seriously as working or working out.

@Saitama thanks, I'm definitely on board with you on that. I'm basically doing a Paleo diet; eating mostly fruits and vegetables, meat, no carbs. I drink coffee a couple times a week and green tea but other than that only water.

Already to Week Three! I am feeling absolutely amazing. My energy is through the roof from a clean diet, exercise, and sleeping regularly. I've noticed my stress levels have significantly decreased from the meditation and probably getting work done. My procrastination has improved considerably, though I'm still putting off smaller tasks. Week 2 Review: Where I Am Now: Weight: 249.2 Lbs. Money in Bank: $35 Debts: $3,400 Personal and Credit Card, ~$40,000 School Eating Habits: Eating clean, a few cheat snacks. Mental Health: 9/10 Habits: Meditation: 6/7 Reading: 7/7 French Practice: 5/6 Homework: 5/6 Exercise: 3/3 Areas of Accomplishment: I'm performing my healthy habits much more regularly than the first week, am getting more done, and am being more reliable. I'm absolutely stoked to get my weight below 250 lbs. again. I haven't seen the 240's in a while. I'm celebrating this victory, but I'll be even happier to get to the 230's as I haven't seen that number in a VERY long time. Areas to Improve I'm still struggling to get some of the smaller things off of my to-do lists. Between my new habits, school and work, those smaller items are falling by thew wayside. I've decided to set out to do less of them every day, but to make sure that the one's I write on my "to-do" list in the morning actually get accomplished. Goals for Week 2 Meditate every day Read at least twenty pages every day Practice French Every Day Exercise 3 times Complete 1 Hour of Homework every Day Complete an 8 page paper this week.

@The Alchemist science can't answer all questions, but it's the best way we have of answering a lot of them. This user isn't bringing up a metaphysical or philosophical problem, but making a number of factual claims. Let's replace the word masturbation with, say, smoking. When a doctor gives advice about how smoking affects a patient's health, do you think he should rely on science? Do you think there is a more logical alternative for ways for him to determine how smoking will affect this patient? His feelings? His parent's, pastor's, or culture's opinion? No. That doctor's best evidence for determining the real effects of smoking is through scientific study. "Science" is not a belief system. It is a systematic way of thinking and conducting experiments to determine facts in the most logical way. It can be difficult to do, which is why experiments are conducted again and again, cross-checked, and the results only published under peer-review. And as new evidence is discovered, results do sometimes change. You are right that something is not true simply because a scientist says so. In matters of fact, something is either true or not, and it is only through the scientific process that we can empirically determine this.

I think if you have these intense feelings about this topic, a good goal for you would be to thoroughly educate yourself and seek guidance. There are zero peer-reviewed studies which show the claims you've made (that porn "turns people into rapists..."). If you don't want to watch porn, then don't obviously, but try not to make such broad statements about serious consequences without empirical evidence. Speaking of empirical evidence, the scientific community agrees that masturbation is normal and healthy. Here's just one of many studies: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2518802/Masturbation-good-health-prevents-cystitis-diabetes-cancer.html In terms of coming to terms with bisexual or other impulses, it'd be best to seek some professional advice from a secular counselor. Homosexuality and bisexuality are, by the strictest definition, "normal". It occurs in all cultures and has no effect on mental health (except the detriment homophobic societies cost, but that's correlation vs. causation.) If this post has annoyed you, please consider the purpose of this forum and what Leo has said about criticism. Take criticism without harm and use it to better yourself. If you want to be a healthier person, the science says this is the wrong path.

Thanks for the encouragement, guys! Here's my review of week one and update of week two. Week 1: Review Goals/New Habits for the week (success rates in parentheses) Read 20 Pages a Day: (5/7) Meditate Daily: (5/7) Exercise Three Times a Week: (3/3) One Hour of Homework a Day: (4/7) Practice French Daily: (3/7) Weight on February 7: 256 lbs. Weight on February 14: 244.6 lbs. Where I am Now: Weight: 254.6 lbs. Bank Account: $40 Debts: $3,460 Credit Card and Personal, ~$40,000 School Eating Habits: Eating only clean foods, lots of veggies Mental Health: 8/10 Habits: Getting to work and class on time, finishing assignments, working out, meditating, reading and practicing French regularly. Eating clean and not impulse buying food. Procrastinating a bit on small tasks and watching more than an hour of Netflix a day. Areas of Accomplishment: I've improved my diet immensely, cutting down gradually through the week to a completely clean diet. From Thursday on I only ate fruits, vegetables, meats, nuts, beans, and a bit of brown rice. I'm cutting processed foods and sugar from my diet completely as this has been the area of greatest struggle for me in the past, to the point that I was nearly a sugar addict. The first few days, I found myself expecting a sweet treat in between class or after work and found that I was really living to eat. My mental health and happiness has significantly improved. I think meditating and reading every day has had the greatest impact on this, but simply spending less time on the couch and more time getting things done is significantly reducing my stress level. Areas of Improvement: While this week has been much more accomplished than last week, I still didn't reach 100% for my new goals/habits. So, my goal for this week is to have 100% achievement. Also, I'm still procrastinating in a few areas when it comes to accomplishing small tasks (I've had to ship a book to return for the past week and kept putting it off because it was a multi-step process and it was cold outside). And, while I did exercise three times, it wasn't very regular. How I'm going to improve: Setting a schedule: I will go swim for at least twenty minutes at 9pm on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday in the afternoon. I will complete one hour of homework and practice my French from 6:30-8:00 pm every night. I will assign a specific time to my daily tasks when I make my to-do list in the morning (e.g. "Ship book return at 4:00) Goals For Week 2: Read 20 Pages a Day Practice French Daily Meditate Daily Swim Three Days This Week Complete One Hour of Homework Each Day from 6:30-8:00

Thomas, I had this same debate when I was graduating high school. I went with the more expensive option, the option that was a bigger risk, but also had the biggest reward. I moved to Washington DC and have spent the past four years going to museums and the zoo, exploring the city and meeting amazing people. I have friends from France, Germany, Australia, and fell in love with a girl from England. It's expanded my life immensely. College is a time to do exactly that. Expand yourself. Get as many new experiences as you can. Explore new things. DO NOT worry about your major for the first 2-3 semesters at least! Do some of the requirement classes, take classes you're interested in, and talk to professors and upper-level students in those areas until you have a better idea what that career path is actually like. I say take the plunge. If it excites you, if it feels right, if it will help you grow as a person without being too impractical, do it. We often need to get out of our comfort zones and our home towns to really change. I have friends who stayed back home and, years later, they're still in the same place, doing the same things, or worse. Either way, if you do well you can always transfer! Take it easy, do well in class, explore what you're interested in, and enjoy yourself!

This morning I watched "The Most Important Commitment You Can Make," and really realized that the difference between my dreams and reality was committing. So here's me committing. I've decided to dedicated myself to my self-actualization, starting with posting here every Sunday. I plan on using this journal as a record of some basic goals and progress tracking, as well as a sounding board for some of my deeper self-development. Where I am Now: Weight: 256 Bank Account: $10 Debts: $3,500 credit card and personal loans, $40,000 school loans Eating Habits: Trying to eat healthy, but binging on sugar regularly Mental Health: 6 or 7/10. Habits: Watching more than two hours of Netflix a day, procrastinating on homework (and everything else), skipping class, not exercising (except for walks and bike rides), but doing well at my part time job (not missing days, completing all work well), partying and drinking one or two nights a week, journaling about once a week, not reading very regularly, getting 8-9 hours of sleep a night. My Top Goals (For the next 8 years, before age 30): Live abroad at least two years Learn French and one other language Weigh Less than 200 lbs. Hike the Pacific Crest Trail Backpack for a year Publish a book Become sustainably self-employed and debt free Goals for 2016 Get weight down to 215 Graduate Move abroad Establish some emergency savings Get rid of credit card debt and personal loans Start a travel/lifestyle blog New Habits/Goals for This Week Meditate every day Exercise three days Read 20 pages of a book a day Complete an assignment/1 hour of homework a day Practice French at least 15 minutes a day