ardacigin

I've been meditating for about 3 years now. Daily. And I've spent 2 years really only working with Culadasa's techniques. Also adding Shinzen Young's noting in there as well. If you are stage 2 and 4, the attention is getting stabilized. You are still experiencing a lot of monkey mind and dullness I presume. Cold environment is king for dullness. And persistence to find the breath is king for stability development. Earlier stages occured with a lot of dullness for me. I think this is normal considering that our 'ordinary' state of consciousness is actually a form of subtle dullness (the breath is never clearly perceived in non-meditators). Culadasa talks about this and you really experience the validity of this stage 5 and beyond. It took me about 2 years of intense training to get to stage 7. It took me about 14 months to get to stage 6. I was also moving back and forth between stages. The samadhi was not stable at all. And I've spent close to a year figuring out how to solidify in Stage 7: effortlessness. Samadhi is now stable and effortless. So 2 years in total. I've heard Culadasa doing the 10 stages in 1 year. I might be wrong on that. And some people say these stages can be experienced in a year. Yeah. Maybe you can hit all 10 stages. But embodying the stages and turning them into your baseline can't happen in 1 year in my experience. I don't see how a householder can experience that much growth in 12 months. Maybe spiritual geniuses like Buddha can do it It'll probably take me around 3-4 years to fully master the 10 stages. And I think that is a good time frame for anyone who is committed to the path. Just keep practicing and don't get distracted trying to do this or that technique. Master samadhi and then go for self-enquiry.

I do cross legged on my bed (without cushion) and with only a back pillow. The challenge of this is my hips are on the same height level as my legs. So that creates excruciating leg pain after 90 mins. It actually starts bothering me a little bit after 60 mins. If I elevate my hips with a cushion, I'd experience way less pain. But I don't do it because that is the practice I'm trying to master. I'm trying to figure out how to manage the pain after 90 mins and ride it all the way to 2 and half hours. 2 hours seems to be my limit. Hopefully at some point, I can ride it to 3 hours Don't do it sitting on a chair in my opinion unless you have a medical condition or taking it easy. Do it cross-legged and then learn to work with fainting levels of leg pain after 90 mins. Don't do stretches unless you have a yoga practice or a medical condition. Like I said, resist the temptation to make this 2 hour SDS journey easier on yourself. Pain is a great teacher. I don't understand what Shinzen means by that. How is sitting on a chair harder in long SDS sits compared to lotus or cross legged? I experience the exact opposite of that. Pain is much more intense in lotus type postures. Maybe it is because Shinzen is used to the posture. I don't get masters sometimes. They are too hardcore. LOL

Hi Leo. You've inspired me to start all this work in the first place. I wouldn't have found Culadasa and Shinzen if it weren't for you. So thank you.

Also for further advice, I've learned something very important from one of Culadasa's interview. Apparently, a matured Stage 9 meditator can do 3-4 hours long SDS sits with minimal suffering consistently hitting effortlessness for most of the sit. This also means A HUGE reduction in pain sensitivity. Currently, I can do 2 hours SDS sits. I can maintain effortlessness for about 75-90 mins straight. But physical pain starts to intrude as a subtle distraction so my attention alternates between that for the last 30 mins. I can't imagine 1 more hour of that pain slowly building up. I barely can manage it in the last 30 mins and end it off with 2 hours as my maximum time. I don't see how 4 hours of SDS works just yet. I think that will happen as I work more towards Stage 8 and then 9. So let's keep that in mind. It might be slow to reach stage 6. But I think these neurological changes 'post Stage 7' are no joke as well. I still don't quite understand how one can maintain effortlessness in cross-legged posture for 4 hours in SDS. I can maybe do 4 hours sitting in a chair but not cross-legged. That must require MONSTER levels of equanimity

Thanks. I think Culadasa is one of the most skilled vipassana teachers out there. Stage 8 is a continuation of Stage 7. You develop the existing skills in Stage 7 and give them a boost with deeper concentration and awareness. 'Stage 7 beyond' is by definition effortless. So if you are feeling like 'a meditator efforting to follow the breath' then it is stage 7 below practice. But once the breath stays in awareness effortlessly and you can spend time exploring sight and sound space without the intrusion of thoughts, you can view yourself as Stage 7 for that period of time. This also means that there is less of a sense of a 'self' observing the breath as the meditator merges with the 'outside'. Try to also open your perspective to this to help you facilitate effortlessness for Stage 7. Just like how Culadasa experienced dry and boring periods of time for 'effortlessness' in Stage 7, we also should be very consistent. In fact, I've spent months progressing from Stage 6 to 7 just because I was inconsistent with the stability of attention. I've never been stuck at a stage this long, not understanding how to proceed. The mind has to surmount A LOT of obstacles to reach effortlessness. So focus on effortlessness before getting to insight practice. The quality of self-inquiry changes post-effortlessness. The mind is much more pliant that way. Subjectively, don't worry about 'little effort' or 'no effort'. As long as you drop your intention to follow the breath and the breath is still attended effortlessly, then you are stage 7. If a thought pops up and you still maintain effortless breath awareness without letting the thought become an object of attention, then all the more evidence that you are Stage 7. One of the key ways to understand stage 7 is all this I've talked about and the duration of the mindfulness. If you can maintain this for 40 mins straight in a session (regardless of physical pain and urges), then you are 100% stage 7. Duration matters. Just accessing this state of effortlessness for 2-3 mins won't cut it. Think of that as 'peaking' to stage 7, not really 'solidifying' in it From what you've said,if you can accomplish 30 mins of effortlessness, then that is great. But I don't really understand the subtle dullness part. That shouldn't happen at this point. Also, there should be very little thoughts and distractions. Just keep that in mind. Probably you are getting close to effortlessness. Just make sure to deal with the dullness from the earlier stages. Basically, think of it like this: If you slip into subtle dullness where the breath loses brightness, then you are 'peaking' to Stage 7. Continue the practice with diligence. I was really frustrated at this point as well. So I understand your experience Come to a place where you can CONSISTENTLY achieve Stage 7 effortlessness in less than 10 mins after sitting down in a cushion. If you can do that, I'd view that as a mind ready for advanced insight practice. That means you've solidified in stage 7 and is ready for Stage 8. At this point, feel free to do Stage 8 or go straight to the self-inquiry method I talked about here. Both are insight practices at its core. Where I live in Turkey, 5 meo dmt and DPT are both illegal. So I can't comment on these substances. Leo and many others on this forum are much more experienced than me But the good news is that I've experienced a temporary cessation insight experience naturally just trying these techniques I've described here a few days ago. The insight didn't stick, unfortunately. I suspect it has to do with the lack of sub-mind availability as Culadasa talks about. Some part of me is open to no-self but not a significant portion of consensus is available at the moment of cessation. Also, I can't say with certainty if this is cessation. I remember 4-5 seconds of all of my boundaries disappearing and then falling asleep. I woke up about 3 hours later feeling motivated to meditate. But I haven't experienced a permanent shift in consciousness. I was a little confused after waking up as well. Maybe my mind is trying to understand what the hell happened. Since then, my meditation quality is insane. Everything is going very smooth so far. I also have a lot of energy since then. Feel free to ask me more questions

This is for easier breath training with Culadasa's method. Developing breath attention creates dullness and significant drops in energy once the breath clarity is not bright. This occurs in meditator's prior to Stage 7 since sensory clarity is not developed sufficiently. You can combat this by meditating in colder environments where it is easier to feel the breath sensations with clarity and brightness. In warm temperatures, you can't know if the dullness is due to the air warmth or sleepiness prior to Stage 7. As you gain skill, you can meditate in warm environments and still feel the breath with clarity in relative to slightly colder environments fully knowing that the dullness is due to warmth rather than lack of energy. Culadasa doesn't emphasize this point but in my experience, this is very valuable advice to beginners: Always try to meditate in slightly colder environments. This helped me A LOT in my first year with Culadasa's technique. Open the windows to your room 20 mins before meditation. Meanwhile, you can make yourself a cup of coffee or exercise a little before starting the practice. Hope this answers your question.

This path is hard and dedicated mystics are there to help us through challenges. I've recently listened to Martin W. Ball's podcast on his inability to sleep for 10 days and literally going through hell not knowing what to do. These sort of 'marathon monks' sort of challenges really get me to question 2 things: 1- Can dedicated meditators and enlightened yogis really put these mindfulness skills to the test when shit gets real? Like these extreme insomnia cases when you are drugged to sleep but still the nervous system goes haywire and says 'Nope'. 2- While people are going through these sort of things, why do I feel lazy to do a 2 hour SDS sit? For instance, for a few days I've had a lot of back pain that creates an aversion for long SDS sits. This question priorities my life and helps me to re-align my practice with dedicated meditators practicing 10+ hours a day in a monastery going through hell. Martin Ball, just like Leo, might have done really deep 5meo Dmt trips, had many the legit insights and awakenings but when you have a 10-day long insomnia, the skills that will get you through that experience with as little suffering as possible will be the non-psychedelic mystical path where you train your mind for hours with pig-headed discipline, deep mindfulness, samadhi and self inquiry. And doing all this consistently for 20+ years. These are my thoughts on the matter. Hope it gives some fresh perspective and motivation.

Hey folks. I've recently experimented with how I've used to live life in a non-meditative manner and wanted to see how this non-meditator lifestyle would affect my consciousness after meditating seriously for 2-3 years. I wanted to see how deep the samadhi that I've developed actually is with these daily 90-120 mins long cross-legged SDS sits. The results are interesting. I've attempted to stop meditating for 7 days and literally just focused on my hobbies like piano playing, video games, career and socializing in a non-meditator quality of attachment and drivenness. First of all, I was reminded that once you go so long as 7 days not meditating, the samadhi you develop in formal sits slowly goes away. But it goes away in a need to use fashion, meaning I can go back to my deepest mindful state in a matter of 15 mins if I'm relatively calm. If I'm frantic and monkey mind just doesn't shut up (this happened a lot when I was playing the piano and trying to arrange a complex jazz piece fully by ear. The melody was literally spinning my head), I can still go back to a deep place in about 45 mins in a formal session. So samadhi is not lost at its deepest sense. I haven't turned into a non-meditator and lost all my mindfulness skills. Kind of feels like how a musician loses a little bit of technique and dexterity but still maintains muscle memory after a few months of not playing their instrument. I feel like this is exactly what happens in meditation if you are at a certain level of expertise. Here is my first insight into this experiment: 1 - My appreciation of formal meditation sits has SKYROCKETED! As some of you may know, I meditate with Culadasa's 'The Mind Illuminated'. If you haven't read that book, it is life changing. Check out my other posts about how I do his advanced breath meditation. Now after 7 days of no meditation, one might think that I'll have an aversion to long formal sits. And it is true because that is a part of what I've experienced. After the momentum of non-meditation sets in about 3-4 days, you don't want to sit still anymore. You want to CONSTANTLY think about something. If not thinking, you want to focus outwardly. Whether that is playing the piano, video games, chatting with family members, cracking jokes or exercising. You don't want to spend long periods of time in silence. But once I went back to my first 60 minutes long formal SDS (strong determination sit), I've CLEARLY experienced the biggest difference compared to those 7 days of non-meditation: Lack of monkey mind related to heightened stability of attention. My biggest issue in these 7 days is that I've experienced a lot monkey mind since I don't have a meditation object. My only way of attaining samadhi is to get into focused flow states as I'm talking to people, playing games and doing stuff by fluke luck. For instance, If I had enough concentration and energy at the time, I had a good time playing the piano. If not, I felt sluggish. Very tired. Sleepy and dissatisfied with life overall. But I've realized that this experiment actually resulted in a positive change in my personality. 2- Letting go of meditative effort resulted in spontaneity in socializing and created a bouncy, talkative and 'joker' personality. Since Culadasa's breath work is a highly effort intensive technique, I felt like bringing the meditative state to socializing is always such a challenge. The meditative state puts you into a certain brain state with its distinctive brainwaves, blood flows and mood changes. I personally tend to get very non-reactive, calm, emotionless and non-talkative when I bring the breath meditation to daily life. But this results in a less than effective training in 'self-expression' and positive behavior change. If spirituality is about life, suffering and consciousness, it must include a wide spectrum of daily life activities. Some of these are socializing, personality, positive behavior changes and enlightened self-expression. So letting go of effort actually RADICALLY improved my social skills, eliminated egoic anxiety and elevated overall comfort and happiness levels while I'm around with people. I'm cracking jokes all the time. But due to my uncensored effortless socializing, I also may have acted rude to people. So not everything went as well in my subjective experience. Maybe some of the jokes I've made can be interpreted as 'picking on' people. I'm still working on modifying some of my egoic behavior patterns. But so far, so good. Letting go of meditation on the breath enabled me to have a better experience socializing with people. Less suffering and more joy. Less serious and more spontaneous. More self-expressive and less non-reactive. 3- Stability of Attention is KING!! One of the biggest problems in these 7 days was the exhausting monkey mind. Mind wandering occurs almost immediately when you stop focusing outwardly. Since I can't meditate, I can't sit still and look inwards to entangle emotions. I also can't stabilize attention to the breath. So the attention just goes to the movement of repetitive thoughts in a fixated and attached manner. Just go go go mentality is very tiring even though my daily practice enabled me to have more equanimity with the monkey mind. I've still felt the enormous suffering which resides behind subtle mental talk and planning. Since I've been meditating for 2-3 years everyday for at least 60 mins formally, I've taken for granted the stability of attention and mental quiet I've been cultivating and remembered the fixated mental suffering that is the monkey mind. I'm thankful for my teacher Culadasa to help me develop stability of attention to the breath because this enables me to have a drip down effect of samadhi in daily life for rest of the day if I've practiced diligently in that session. 2 hours SDS sits are monsters when it comes to setting the tone for the rest of the day. Almost nothing can bother you after a 2 hour long SDS sit. And with the 7 day no meditation challenge, the monkey mind can go VERY deep. I've forgotten how even a 15-minute formal meditation sit centers me in light samadhi shielding me from heavy monkey mind for hours. 4- Take 3-4 days off from formal and informal meditation every 6 months. This advice is only for people who are already meditating like crazy on a daily basis for at least 1-2 years. Especially take a few days off in a strategic manner like I did, if you are starting to develop an aversion to formal meditation sits. Start observing like I did the positive and negative effects of lack of formal sits. I don't recommend doing a 7 days of full unconsciousness experiment as I did, I actually went a little overboard to see how bad the monkey mind will get. Just do a 4 day long TOPS experiment to see how you are like without formal sits. You don't want to go unconscious that long uninterrupted. This strategic move will surely bring the excitement, fresh perspective and the dynamism the formal practice needs. Because let's be honest, after years of daily meditation, the technique can become too mechanical and you might lose the joy of altering your consciousness in such a specific way. That is the primary reason people stop meditating after awhile. Just don't forget to come back to the formal sits with enthusiasm and excitement after taking a few days off. This is the point of this strategic 'retreat'. Thank you for reading my report. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

In this video, Rupert Spira sounds SO MUCH like Leo. 'infinite being' 'You are not a part of god but IS god' What do you guys think? I don't really know much about Rupert Spira but from what I've gathered from this, he seems to have experienced really advanced insights.

Hi everyone. Here is my current practice method. I wanted to share with you one of the most useful mindfulness manuals I've ever read. 'The Mind Illuminated' by Culadasa. For me, his training method was so effective that I've experienced a lot of exponential growth in a relatively short amount of time. More people need to know about this guy. For anyone who has read his book, I'm currently working on stages 7-8-9 holistically. After stabilizing the attention to the breath, I start an investigation towards the sense of being an individual self and awareness practices in no-mind. I do this not only in sitting sessions but also in daily life. For instance, today my awareness of external sensations were so acute that when I was meditating in the subway train, the sound of the door closing (+ the engine of the train) was so loud that if I hadn't cultivated equanimity so much, I definitely would have gotten startled. It was so intense. I'm currently trying to master effortless stability of attention to the breath sensations at the nostrils in stage 7 and once I do access such levels of concentration, I expand my awareness of external sounds and bodily sensations while maintaining stable, bright and continuous attention to the breath. Making sure to have introspective awareness (aka. inner awareness of thought and feel space) for potential distractions and dullness. From this foundation of samadhi, I start the self-inquiry process where I try to pinpoint and investigate the sense of being a self. I separate the three fundamental aspects of being a self: see, hear and feel modalities. Then I inquire if there is anything more. A locus of consciousness. The experiencer/doer addition to these 3 modalities. Once I do this inquiry, my mind slows even more. Thoughts go away. Emotions cool out. And sensations of external sound, visual and touch modalities get amplified and I start to feel like my sense of self starts to melt away merging and blurring out because of the awareness of external sensations. I continue from here and try to access deeper and deeper aspects of no mind while maintaining the stability of attention to the breath. This is my current practice and I get TONS of growth out of it on a daily basis. Also, I'm doing 90 to 120 mins of SDS sits in the cross-legged posture with these techniques on a daily basis as well. So that also adds a lot of spiritual weights and stable foundation as I start my day. I hope this gives you guys some motivation and an idea of how to move forward in your practice if you feel stuck. For more information, read Culadasa's fantastic book 'The Mind Illuminated'. Here is the special Reddit forum of the book if you are interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMindIlluminated/ Let me know your thoughts on Culadasa and his methods. Have you tried them? If so, what are your experiences? What do you struggle with? I'd love to hear your thoughts and give guidance as much as I can

One reason is the feedback loop. You know easily when you succeed in stable attention once you check in with the brightness of the breath in TMI's model. In wider focus ranges like the whole body scan without narrow attention ranges, one can feel dull and drowsy quickly. The best way to counteract this issue is to include both narrow and wide focus ranges like TMI. One might initially think that TMI only teaches attention to the breath on the exclusion of awareness, but this is a mistake. The primary focus is the breath at the nose and the secondary 'wider focus' is the body (or external sounds). This ensures optimal attentional and awareness growth. If you discard the awareness, you might hit blissful states (even psychedelic like states) with only concentration practices but attain little to no permanent insights on the path to awakening. On the other hand, if you discard the attentional development and just try to do dry insight practices like Self enquiry as Peter Ralston does, you might not penetrate into stream entry due to lack of equanimity, stability of attention, awareness and sensory clarity. Hope these overviews answered your question.

I wanted to talk about a few things about genetics when I've heard Leo talk about how some people are genetically gifted. As a meditator myself, I can see how Leo might peg his mindfulness skills to below average thinking that he doesn't have what it takes to glean these permanent insights naturally. First of all, his very deep 5 Meo insights are coloring his perceptions in negative ways. It is like hearing about piano for the first time and then seeing Mozart play some insane piece and feeling discouraged. Second of all, I think genetics do play a role in the beginning. But Leo is way past the initial beginning stages. As far as I know, he has been meditating consistently for 5+ years and he'd attempted many 10 day+ retreats meditating anywhere from 6-12 hours a day. Even if he might think that the quality of the meditation is very low and everything is boring, his physiology is constantly changing with these retreats. I think he only needs more structural and systematic training rather than the multiperspective approach. Going deep both in formal sits and daily life generally occurs with application and rotation of 2-3 very solid techniques. So making the bad genetics argument seems like a limiting belief for Leo's situation. Epigenetics also shows us that our genes are NOT permanent and fixed. Also maybe holding off on psychedelics a little bit can help the momentum of daily practice turn more into 10 day retreat intensity as Leo have told us that psychedelics are 'distruptive'. Other than that, even if one may feel demotivated, with consistent mindfulness practice, samadhi states abd psychedelic states are possible to attain naturally. I personally experience canabbis levels of experience on a daily basis for the most of the day with minimal effort. Also experiencing semi-permanent insights (like impermanence and causal dependency of everything) are possible even in a 3-4 years into systematic training. Hopefully no self and stream entry soon afterwards. Leo's videos on body relaxation, SDS and posture training are really good to implement as well. I dont find self inquiry to be productive BEFORE mastering samadhi, concentration and mindfulness. First thinning out the sensory experience with mindfulness and then asking 'who am I' is much more effective in the long run. So if you've been slacking off in concentration, maybe adding some spiritual weights there can help a lot. Peter Ralston's ' dry insights straight away approach doesnt seem to be the best approach for most people in my observation. Other than that, keep practicing everyone. This practice really works. Much love

Having a map has its disadvantages. It can create expectations, suffering and comparing mentality. But as every doctor points out, all drugs have pros and cons. And the reason why a doctor prescribes a drug to a patient is that they have confidence in Pros outweighing Cons by a significant margin. I think the cons of NOT talking about maps and goal oriented practices are WAY more than handling egoic issues like future orientation, expectations and drivenness. All of these will be cured as you go through the practice schedule anyways. So the disadvantages of using maps are automatically treated if you continue to practice diligently and strategically. In Culadasa's model of training, stage 7 marks the beginning of effortless attention. You start to let go of the effort VERY strategically after teaching the mind to stay with the breath for 100+ hours through 'effort'. Now the conflicted sub-minds are unified around a single activity: investigating the breath with clarity, equanimity and concentration to get an insight into the true nature of reality/ sensory experience. Now all the 'surrendering' techniques like do nothing can be practiced with success and productivity. Because you have systematically developed the skills. Taking the no map route comes with confusion, lack of diligence, lack of concentration and purpose. Especially for a beginner meditator, this is the worst possible side effect one can experience from a spiritual technique. Hope these helped you understand my opinions on the matter Let me know your thoughts.

I see. Thanks for all the replies Leo. Really appreciate it I just have one last question for you. Do you think that somewhere in the future science can find the neural activities that leads to deep awakening? Because Shinzen talks about a neurological disorder called 'Athymhormia' in this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFZ6KiiBIg4 He says that this rare condition has very specific and well understood neural changes in basal ganglia which results in something he calls 'perfect equanimity' where the individual can sit indefinitely without moving, without suffering (regardless of pain intensity), without forming a self. In fact, that is the disorder. These people who have this condition can't boot selfhood without external warning. They don't complain about anything. They are normal if you keep them engaged in a conversation but after a few minutes of silence, they go into indefinite no-self. If you've never heard of this condition, does this give you hope that maybe investigation towards brain science on these sort of conditions really do have the potential to create a neurological map of enlightenment? Maybe one day, we'll all go to the doctor and get the enlightenment surgery and go full Buddha as much as our nervous system allows for in that short amount of time.

I see. What do you think about the marathon monks who go through the 7+ days of SDS without movement, water and food? (which is the most intense spiritual training I've ever seen so far). Do you think such a feat can be accomplished without suffering if the meditator is not on 5 meo levels of mastery? It seems to me that they must definitely tap into absolute infinity without really having the conceptual understanding of absolute infinity. Maybe they do really have satisfying answers to why reality exists? Have you ever had the opportunity to speak to a monk who'd survived this ordeal?

Oh, I see. That is very interesting actually. Do you think that certain insights like Absolute Infinity (and potentially many more) are not possible to access with 40+ years mindfulness or self-enquiry? Do you think that maybe only through substances like 5 Meo Dmt can you truly go so deep that you become conscious of these things? Because let's be real. We all have a finite amount of time and energy to train our consciousness circuits. So maybe the time and energy required to access such deep levels are simply not enough to reach 5 meo Dmt levels of insight in a lifetime. Maybe not even living in a monastery can give you that time and energy. What are your opinions on that line of thinking since you are more experienced in 5 meo dmt?

I understand why you might think this way Leo. But hear me out. I've recently watched Shinzen's latest interview here. In this interview, Shinzen says that he'd lunch with Culadasa himself just the other day. It seems to me that Shinzen might come across as a materialist sometimes (rather than a non-dualist) but he actually explained the reason for this in his book saying that he has many 'personas' so to speak. The scientific Shinzen is humble about making spiritual claims about the objective universe. Obviously, in this scientific persona, he makes a distinction about objective and subjective. He puts more weight in third person experience rather than first-person experience. He cares a lot about logic and evidence. (The Sam Harris Paradigm basically) But there is also a legit spiritual Shinzen persona many of us are familiar with. The times when he doesn't shy away from using words like 'GOD', source, expansion and contraction, universe coming into existence from the polarization of father and mother, all elimination of boundries etc. So I think it is important not to make swift judgments about his level of meditation experience. Maybe his experiential understanding is not as deep as 5 meo DMT insights but it definitely sounds (if he is not lying) pretty damn close to that. And finally, just look at him in this interview He definitely looks like his meditative experience has permeated his entire life in Sahaja samadhi.

Basically, I use Culadasa's breath techniques to develop samadhi and then use Shinzen Young's silent noting (not labeling) technique to investigate see, hear, feel modalities clearly with added self-inquiry to get a permanent insight into no-self, impermanence and suffering. It is a very strategic and intense schedule to follow on a daily basis. I recommend it to everyone.

I've recently found one of the most 'zen' disorders on youtube. The man who experiences amnesia so quickly that every moment is new and fresh. He seems unable to think, memorize and remember anything short term. It seems like he is experiencing a deep state of mindfulness but since he doesn't have the skills to deal with it, he seems to be stuck on a severe 'dark night' so to speak. At least that is what the vibe I got from the documentary. I thought I wanted to get some of your opinions on it. It is a very rare condition. In the documentary, you see the guy at a young age getting aggressive when his wife shows him how the diary is written by him. He has no memory of it. He claims that he sees it for the first time. And when his wife starts pressing him further, he throws away the diary and lashes out at her. I think this is the famous ego reaction because, after this scene, the doctors have observed that all these aggressive tendencies had stopped altogether as he aged and got older. These doctors didn't understand why these reactions had stopped but I think I have a hypothesis. As time passes, he'd acquired a lot more equanimity with the momentary awareness of emptiness. He was literally FORCED to develop this skill because the amnesiac momentary awareness melted his sense of being a self. The mindfulness automatically purified the egoic reactions as he aged. Also, as I was watching this guy, I've started practicing a brand new spiritual technique that affected my subjective experience dramatically. I've made this up. The technique is acting amnesia mindfulness. You imagine yourself as having the same amnesia condition that the guy in the documentary has. Every moment is fresh and you are unable to construct thoughts, ideas, stories and self-related opinions. Imagine that you look at your mother's face and for a moment, you don't have the memory that she is your mother and you are simply looking. Similar to what this guy is experiencing. I've tried this after watching the documentary and it affected me quite deeply. This make-believe act of 'not being able to form memories' got me really deep into mindfulness. Especially, this got me a deep sense of not being a 'looker' or a 'thinker'. I highly suggest trying it out

Yes. Also in the documentary, he keeps talking about the same thing. Dying. Feeling like not existing. No thoughts. Not upset. Not bored. No memories. He is DEFINITELY tapping into some aspect of nothingness/no-self. And you can see that from his equanimity, joy and happiness at his old age (making jokes and cracking up huge smiles all the time) compared to his young melancholic and driven self.

First of all, I'm not a stream enterer so I can't answer this question with full authority but from what I experience, stream entry is possible for almost everyone who is committed as long as they practice properly, develop the skills and crank up the intensity on a daily basis. But I don't know what is possible for everyone after stream entry to 2nd path, 3rd path and arahatship.(I talk about the Theravada Map) Many enlightened people say these attainments can actually take longer of a time than a non-enlightened person going from depression to stream entry. They say this because certain people reach stream entry with 0 spiritual training. Eckhart Tolle cases might be rare but they do happen. Stream entry is possible for almost anyone. On average, think of stream-entry as a 5-15 year long journey. The first permanent stage of awakening. And think of becoming an arahat as an extra 50+ years after reaching stream entry. By which I mean full 'complete' enlightenment. (Whatever that is) And all the degrees of enlightenment between somewhere within those years. So definitely keep your motivations high for stream entry. Keep practicing and develop your skills systematically

I think that book is the most underrated meditation book I've ever seen. It has a forum in reddit and some meditators do know about it but compared to how fucking amazing the book is, all meditators must be going crazy about it and re-reading it multiple times over a few years. I see people re-reading Eckhart Tolle's books all the time, but never heard of Culada's book at all. Hell, even I saw it on an ad while I was browsing on Amazon. Purely by chance. I thought the cover looked cool, had pretty nice reviews and then I bought it. Once I started reading it, I got seriously mind fucked. Culadasa really has blown me away with this. Not even Daniel Ingram's and Shinzen Young's books are this high quality. I've gotten mind-blowing levels of growth thanks to his instructions. And the reason is that I'd have never spent so much time in frustration for developing stable and bright attention to the breath if it weren't for his insistence on the importance of doing so to advance the practice. His map is so systematic and well designed is that it feels like a video game, leveling up and getting some tangible skill development in every stage. I could never achieve that level of concentration and clarity on broad modalities like body awareness, self enquiry and see/hear/feel techniques. They all clicked for me AFTER I've mastered stable attention to the breath for long hours. You start the insight practice AFTER mastering high states of concentration. And then you use the concentrated mind as a tool to investigate the sensory experience. I think everyone should start taking this book seriously. It is life transforming. It is my 1# meditation book for beginners. BY FAR.

I totally relate to where you currently are in your practice. Stable attention is weak and one spends around 60% of time in a 1 hour sit in monkey mind. Equanimity is somewhere beginner-intermediate. And sensory clarity is not really strong as well. Does this sound like your experience? If so, I have 2 advice for you 1- Read Culadasa's book. The mind illuminated. And do EVERYTHING he says and solidify your skills in stage 6-7 in his training stages. Then get that stable attention to daily life while walking and listenning. 2- Once you are there, start doing 90-120 mins SDS sits in cross legged posture on a daily basis. (or once in 2 days) In about 30-60 days, you'll grow like you have never grown in your spiritual career. That is what happened to me in my experience. It was VERY emotionally taxing but it changed my moment by moment subjective experience of life on a semi-permanent level. RADICALLY. Let me know your progress

I do experience ego backlash as well but it is very sparingly. Sometimes I lower the intensity but I always practice everyday. I never skip any day. Mindfulness tends to effortlessly happen for me at least for a few minutes even if I decide to NOT focus on being mindful. So skipping a day entirely with 0 minutes of mindfulness is not physiologically possible since I practice intensely everyday. Overall, ego backlash doesn't happen that often for me. My life is relatively in check and your immediate problems like paying the bills, taking care of the kids and career prospects can all effect your practice. But unless things are TOO hectic and unbearable, we should continue to practice as diligently and intensely we can. The purpose is to re-train the nervous system. This can only happen with habitual and intense practice. Don't spend too much time in ego backlash. Motivate yourself with watching and listening talks from Leo, Culadasa, Shinzen Young, Peter Ralston, Eckhart Tolle etc. Do whatever it takes to prevent sinking into unconsciousness in summary. Until it no longer happens. Until you are always in a state of mindfulness even if it is light. After that, the mind will auto-correct and do what is necessary without a 'self' motivating or suffering. And I think these are all the teachers you need. Read their books. Review their materials in detail. And be mindful of the potential traps in meditation like dark night of the soul and certain psychological effects in advanced stages. If you do your homework, not being able to touch base with a stream enterer is NOT the end of the world. Although having a mentor who is more skilled than you is always the ideal. But don't feel lacking if you can't find people like that. Because let's get real. Stream enterers are rare. And even if you find one, they may or may not be interested in mentoring you. Even if they do, you may or may not get value from their techniques. So rather than waiting for the perfect personal guru, it is better to try the working techniques from masters on the internet who already teaches you enough theory, start the practice diligently and make corrections as necessary. Keep feedback loops open and listen to other meditator's advice. And then be willing to take action and change your negative habits. For instance, I had this really bad habit of meditating in dullness (losing brightness of the breath) as I tried to develop stable attention and Culadasa really stresses the importance of NOT doing that so I've corrected the sinking into drowsiness problem and progressed further into stage 7 in his model of samadhi stages. Things like that seem small but really important for fast growth. These are my suggestions. Hope they help

The biggest reason many people struggle high quality transition from retreat to daily life is that as meditators, we need to develop certain pillar skills in order to pull that off. So a beginner meditator who struggles to maintain bright continuous attention to the breath sensations at the tip of the nose for more than 20 consecutive times will not be able to integrate retreat quality back to daily life. I think retreats should be done with VERY serious preperation. You need to solidify in skills like equanimity, stable attention and sensory clarity. Unless you are somewhere above beginning stages of intermediate practice, you won't be able to get that high quality retreat effect into daily life. You must already have some amount of that low dose psychedelic effect in daily life already so that retreat level practice will solidify and exponentially increase your baseline level of mindfulness. And for most people, getting to beginning stages of intermediate practice takes somewhere around 1-3 years. And that is if you know what you are doing, practice diligently and very intensely. Many people don't do that and their retreat results are less than optimal. For instance, I don't know Leo's subjective experience in retreats but what I gather from his video reports is that he is mostly bored out of his mind and suffers a lot. This tell me that stable attention to the meditation object with an ample amount of equanimity (and most likely sensory clarity as well) is not present. Meaning his skills in reaching and staying in access concentration is not yet ready for intense 10+ hours long retreat training. And to start the insight practice like self enquiry and vipassana, having this foundation in samadhi is VERY IMPORTANT. This can make the difference of getting INCREDIBLE growth from a 10 day retreat and a little to no growth from a 30 day retreat. Quality matters. So my advice is to not take a retreat before developing these mindfulness skills to a sufficient level. Meaning if you can experience a semi-permanent level of high mindfulness in daily life (in a bus, walking, listening, talking) and can maintain it for most of the day relatively well, then it is time to head down to the nearest retreat center to gain some mind-blowing spiritual gains But before that, to develop the stable attention, I highly suggest that you train yourself with Culadasa's book 'The Mind Illuminated'. Go up to stage 6-7 in that model and you'll get a lot of return on investment on retreats after that point. Hope these suggestions help