Evilwave Heddy

Reminds me a bit of Horoscopes..

@Bobert This..we are all aware of.

I was actually gonna post that too. Haha Good advice imo.

Don't lie to them. Firstly It's kind of fucked up to do, at that age anyways. Secondly it just isn't nice to lie and it can cause yourself more harm than you would realize. Age is nothing but a number...after 21 or 22 I believe.

Yeah, she's very grounded/down to earth and she has a real Irishness to her which reminds me of my sister. Her Christmas Vlogs were funny to watch too, wish she'd vlog more. There is still anxiety there, but not as bad as it used to be. I remember hanging out with one of my friends and a friend of his (who I didn't know) came over and started talking with him. I became very quiet at that stage and tried think of ways to join the conversation otherwise he'd think I have a problem with him or something. I was completely overthinking the whole situation rather than now where my mind feels calmer and flowy, by this I mean I don't have these random thoughts popping up out of everywhere "Do I look out of place?" "What does he think of me?" "Should I try join their conversation?" "Should I pretend to go to the toilet to get out of this awkward situation?" "My friend is gonna ask me why I was so quiet isn't he..how will I answer this?". And this happened over 1 stranger. Thinking back now...I was a mess. I still have much to overcome though and honestly look forward to it.. Thanks for the support.

We had our first sunny warm day last thursday since probably August last year. I took a drive around and it was beautiful. That time I spent driving around by myself has been the best day I've had this year. I almost teared up. I'm looking forward to summer now..a lot. Haha I also find myself admiring stuff more for example usually when I'd walk my dog I'd have lot on my mind and I'd be lost in thought for the whole walk. Now though I find myself looking up at the stars and thinking about space and myself..what am I...who am I and all that during the night walks and just overall enjoying moment by moment. Long lost brothers sure...

I literally felt like this a few hours ago walking through town. Deep down I just felt...awesome. It's not permanent though but never gets worse than what it used to be like. I used to walk through the town with my head down avoiding eye contact and not even looking in the general direction of people, but today I was looking around and at people and if I caught someone looking I'd slightly smile and nod at them. I swear, I didn't give a shite. It's happened a couple of times since I started meditation and watching self help videos and hope it stays.

If you ever do plan on giving them up or are in the process. The best thing that worked for me is to convince myself that a craving only lasts for 3 minutes. Any time I'd get that strong craving for one I'd tell myself "All I gotta do is wait 3 minutes and the craving would eventually pass" which it did. In fact, telling myself this became so powerful that the cravings would disappear a few seconds after convincing myself this. I drank water as a substitute also..but I don't know if this helped in any way. Prior to this I tried using patches which were a joke and waste of time and money. I also tried the electric cig, but after 3 months on it I went back to smoking. I don't know if that little technique will work for everyone. Maybe I was just had a lot of willpower or something. Also the day before giving up I looked at 1 or 2 videos of how smoking affects your lungs and images of smokers lungs which motivated me a bit. I also tried remember this timeline and checked it out every week i was off them which motivated me a lot. http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Benefits_Time_Table.html Best of luck. (;

Speaking of making a habit, I broke my daily habit of meditating 3 days ago and may get back into it. Had the flu and felt like taking a break. My ego sucks. Haha And to answer your question from a month ago. The best time to meditate is whenever you can. (:

I was thinking that it was Melanie Murphy when I seen the thumbnail but it didn't look like her completely because she changed her hair last time I watched anything from her. I used to have bad anxiety also. When I began a 2 year course to redo my exams, the first 2-3 months I spent my lunch breaks eating in my car than sitting in the canteen where everyone else was. I didn't know anyone so I just felt very uncomfortable sitting there even with my class mates who I didn't really get to know until a few months later, so they were still strangers for the first 2-3 months. I communicated very little with them. Since then though through constant class presentations (which made me nervous as hell even though I knew my class by then) and smiling at strangers(which surprisingly works) I overcame a lot of my anxiety.

I didn't know where to put this. I feel like my voice(which is very monotone) will be my downfall in the future such as public speaking if it ever came to it or even for a job interview. For example, an employer might fall sleep while listening to me which isn't good. Haha The worst thing is, is when I try practice rising my voice up and down while talking it just doesn't feel right. I can feel myself faking it. It doesn't come naturally yet of course. Is this something I should work on or not? Or is it even possible to change it and for it to feel natural.

When I hear my friends gossiping or bitching about someone I'd usually ask them not to. I'd ask them if they would like to be bitched about or what is the point of it all. I'd then follow up with something else completely off topic to change the conversation from bitching/gossiping. If they continue however, I'd switch myself off and think about something else or leave. The first time I switched off they asked, "Why have you gone so quiet?" and I just told them I'm not taking part in their bitching session. Now whenever I do it they say, "Hey look, he's daydreaming again." Lol They usually shift conversation after they say this though which is good. (:

RIP No but seriously, how's it going now? Have you thrown in the towel?

Quite interestingly, I discovered Actualized.org around September/October. And now as far as I can remember, I became highly motivated to go to college and get my ass into gear around the time after my summer holidays which would have been late August/early September. I feel that I have really grown as a person these past few months.

I feel you on this one. Thankfully I broke free of it. :') Best of luck. (:

Vipassana retreat?

@Falk Ikr, I wish I could get back my 500 hours or more of playing MMO's. Haha

I will be unleashing my monkey mind tonight with some alcohol and a few hours of UFC. CMON MCGREGOR!!!!! lol

Damn right it's not. I did this for the first few days and it was torture. I slep in to avoid waking up to do it. Now though I shower normally with an ice cold shower at the end.

It's a pity that at end of the day you rot away a few of your brain cells. Don't get me wrong I smoked weed everyday for a about 3 years at one stage..but the highs weren't same anymore. I had become tolerant to it so i decided to give up for a month which was easy as I wasn't addicted or anything. When i came back to it I would be high as fuck..but it just wasn't the same. I did this for a while just giving up and going at it again then the last time I gave it up I just didn't bother going back. It felt like I was rotting my brains out and the months I took off I kind of realized this.

100%...out of the billions of billions planets out there, I'm fairly certain one has to be habitable.

Can you link me this video please? Maybe I'm just blind but i can't find it.

I found TERA: Fate of Arun to be the better of the two. Spent countless hours on this. That's just me though.

I don't think you'll end up like that guy on your wall from playing games mindlessly, but good strategy otherwise.