Evilwave Heddy

It's an illusion...a facade. If only you weren't curios enough to question christianity and its legitimatness, then you could be just like your friends and their limited beliefs.

You're making the easiest thing in the world the hardest thing.

When I was doing the LP course I actually bought FL Studio as I love music. I thought it would be great to make my own music. My choice of genre was Dubstep. I spent about a week getting the hang of FL Studio and making some sounds. After about a month of playing around with it I had made a track. I know it's not that good of a track and it would take much longer to get the hang of making some good Dubstep but after I had made the first one the drive to make another just faded. I haven't gone back to FL Studio in about 2 months and feel like I wasted 150€. But I do have a track that I enjoy listening to now and then to remind me of the work I put into it. Have a listen. (very basic, didn't bother cleaning sounds and beats up) I'm not trying to turn you off what you're going for because maybe your passion for music is deeper than mine was. Best of luck either way bro.

Happy Sunday.... I did a lot of contemplating this week. Monday and Tuesday I stuck with the routine I had set out which involved 5 hours of studying each day. All was good until Wednesday. Woke up later than planned then ended up getting distracted by learning more about Nikola Tesla and Edward Leedskalnin. I spent the day just understanding more about what they did. That then led me onto searching about resonance and magnets and how bees are being affected by our technology so on and so forth. So by the end of Wednesday I was rethinking my Life Purpose. I was asking myself questions like....Should I pursue Physics and follow in the steps of Tesla? I also succumbed to a bottle of wine for the night, which I had had planned to only drink one a week. Thursday came then and yet again woke up late and feeling guilty for drinking that bottle. I tried prevent myself from feeling guilty and just accept that it happened but meh. So I spent the majority of the day just deciding what to do with my life. After looking through some of the Life Purpose material I realised that what I was doing was good and on track. (Which was learning/studying Biology, Chemistry and Physics) I need more experience in these three fields to pin point what I want to do. (Still sticking with Microbiology..but that's not definite.) Friday hit then and I had a meeting with a guy who is helping me find a job. I got hung up on that for the day then...just contemplating on where to go and how to get one. Considered joining the Navy, but then remembered I get really bad seasickness. Not a good day as I wasn't staying positive and I was thinking about all the bad. Friday ended with another bottle of wine which I considered my "weekly" bottle which is okay. I didn't feel guilty about this bottle because of that. Saturday, I just procrastinated because I had it in my mind that Monday I will be starting fresh and sticking with that routine that I have set up for me. Some of Saturday was spent reading books and getting it in my head that Sunday and Monday will be great...the rest was spent just watching a few videos on Youtube. And here we are today..Sunday. Feeling much better and ready to start again. I just pressed the reset button and it feels like last Sunday again. Talk soon.

Riight..this is a journal that I'll be keeping on top of for the next 2-3 years. Been meaning to start one of these in a while but wasn't too sure about it. I'm almost finished the LP course and have a fair idea what I want to do. Microbiology. It may be a bit vague at the moment, but I plan on honing in on exactly what it is in Mb that I want to focus on. This will be updated every sunday and wednesday evening. I don't plan on having to much information...just whatever is on my mind at the time of typing. (Might just post a few pictures of what I'm learning etc. so when I look back on this...bllaaah. What I'll be doing Currently unemployed, so in the process of looking for a job. Then once i got a job start saving money for the next 2-3 years for college. In the meantime I will be starting from scratch with Biology, Chemistry and Physics as you need a good understanding of them. From JC to LC and doing a JC test when I feel the time is right. What I've done so far I've only just started the JC science textbook (which is basic science like Cells and the Digestive system). It actually just hit me there and then how much I don't know and how much learning I gotta do. A bunch of memories from school also hit me when I was going through this textbook, memories of just messing around and not taking any interest in it....maybe there was interest, but I was so distracted by my friends that I couldn't help myself. Gawd..if only I had of put my head down there and then. But I don't like to think about the past in a negative way too much so let's let that thought go. But yeah, I was really interested in everything that i learned in the first few chapters of the textbook that I kinda look forward to learning more. (As basic as it was) To do Set up a temporary daily routine while unemployed and searching for a job. (ASAP) Set up a daily routine when I got a job (Hopefully get 2-3 hours of learning in everyday, maybe more the weekend) Up at 6 everyday rather than 8 or 9. (Will start this tomorrow) Keep this journal going. Meditate every day for 30 minutes. (Won't speak about this too much) Try implement yoga into my mornings. (Won't speak about this too much) That's all I got right now on my mind. See yah Wednesday.

Hahahaha amazing.

50/50

Even if that thing meant murder?

Throughout all of this I was like "Wow" and was prepared to make this change in life to find my true self, but then I know that tomorrow I will be my egoic self...It's hard...really hard.

Spiders *screams*

What did you do?

Just finished watching this video with John Oliver and the Dalai Lama. I don't really like John Oliver as a person but this interview with the Dalai Lama cracked me up. Enjoy.

@Peace and Love Heyyy. Thanks for taking the time to write back to me. I don't have much experience with reiki so I kind of doubted it when I first heard it.(Naturally) After reading your reply I can see the differences between the two and can see that you know what you're talking about. I also don't want to think that you're some crazy being, so I want to research deeper into reiki myself to see what it's all about. I'll be honest with you. If you hadn't of replied I would have thought that you didn't reply because what I say is truth. I'm glad you did though. It's just a pity that you can't break my legs though. Also that dark energy you are referring to is probably that voodoo doll shit.

@Guivs Glad you enjoyed it. (: @Laisa Glad you enjoyed it and no problem (: @Dodoster I don't know much about the Dalai Lama, so I might get one of his books just to see what it's all about (;

What's your life purpose? What's the degree you're doing?

@Lynnel Thanks man, you made me get back to reading it as soon as possible. After reading through it a bit more, I can understand where Cal Newport is coming from. Glad I picked this book up now because it's pretty important. Much appreciated.

Been doing this for a little over a month too. I often wonder why I do it and if it even makes a difference. It's only 2 minutes out of my day though so doesn't really bother me.

Helpful videos. Thanks for sharing man.

I laughed at bee stings because these are just temporary things that last for an hour or so. (15 minutes even) Also colds and flus go away naturally so who ever requests to be healed from a cold and it goes away a few days later (naturally), they thank reiki instead of thanking their immune system. Kinda silly really. Can you add me to the list too? Can you make something bad happen to me? Like break my leg or something? The way I see it is that you try to convince someone that Reiki is an actual thing, so when the person that received the Reiki has some sort of improvement in what they requested, they think "EU-REIKI". It's all in the mind. When someone requests an improvement in some area they themselves have implanted in their mind that they will be good at it because of this reiki supernatural, all powerful...stuff and naturally they will be improve at it. So, I guess it is hypnosis at the end of the day with a cool name on it. Ooohhh Reiki. But anyways, you won't be able to break my leg. *breaks leg three days later....fuck. It's just a coincidence. >.>

Hey people. I have this very deep interest in Ancient Egyptian culture and want to pursue Egyptology. However I just recently read an article on someone who also pursued it and failed. However, he didn't exactly fail. He said you'd need to be very lucky to actually get a job on the field as an archaeologist. There are a bunch of other areas in Egyptology that are available (which this guy ended up doing) but I honestly want to be one of those guys in the picture below. What are your opinions on this? Should I say " fuck it" and take the risk of pursuing it, or should i stick to something safer (like microbiology which I also have a deep interest in.) I haven't actually completed the Life Purpose Course yet so I'll be keeping this in mind throughout before I actually take action. I just thought I'd get a few opinions on this. Thanks in advance.

Just wondering what your opinions are of people who sit on the fence during an argument or something else. I find myself doing this a lot not because I'm afraid to express my opinion on the topic at hand, but because I can see valid points on both sides. I get called out on this a lot by my friends and I try explain my reason for "sitting on the fence" but they can't seem to understand it. They hate it when I don't pick a side..and hate it when I correct one of their points in the argument. No matter what I do, I just get hate from both sides. Not sure what to do in these situations.

I remember Leo saying in one of his videos that he reads very slowly. That was from a few years ago though, so who knows.

Didn't do much these past few days. I did however set out a routine for this week which I'll be starting tomorrow. Tryna get back in gear today, preparing for the coming weeks and putting the head down. I feel that I might be pushing myself a bit too much but we'll see in a weeks time if I need to make changes to the routine. Other than that I feel ready. I started reading "So Good They Can't Ignore You" and it kind of turned me off my life purpose a bit. I'm gonna try finish it in the next few days just to see where it goes. It basically states that following your passion is a dumb idea. People who are happy working in basic jobs are happy because they know the ropes and are experienced in it. Ergghh...I can't really explain it myself here and now, but it goes a bit like. I've made out a checklist for 90 days. To stop drinking and commit to meditating and affirmations/visualization. I plan on just checking these off before bed everynight and see how that goes. I want to stop drinking because it's a waste of money and I feel I might be becoming an alcoholic... lol. I know if I prevent myself for at least a month i can continue, but the craving comes after 5 days of the last drink. Been trying to be mindful and aware of what i'm doing...but heck I dunno what to do. Weird thing is, is I feel amazing the day after drinking. I think that's all to comment on at the moment. I love sundays. I just wanted to share this music I've been listening to for the past few days. Hopefully try find more like it.

@Nahm It's not the fear of looking like an ass if I'm in the wrong though. It's just that I don't want to contribute to an argument when I don't know both sides of the argument. Yes, getting involved can help me understand both sides..but so can sitting on the sideline. I think sitting on the sidelines is actually more beneficial because If i was on a certain side (of the argument) I'd feel I'd need to defend myself even if the other side comes up with a very good point.

Psycho-Cybernetics