HII

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  1. #10 Making this recorded improvisation into a performable piece and creating proper sheet music for it I just created a soundcloud account to be able to share this publicly: It's an improvisation that I recorded a little while ago. Thought it was kinda nice, so I decided to make it into a piece that can be performed by me or by others infront of other people. I just wrote down by ear what I had played without changing much. So far, the score looks like this: ultramarine.pdf So just the rough structure being written down in a messy way. I have to find many solutions for how I want to write some things down, because I use quite unconventional structures, where not every single note is rigidly determined. The more I develop my own musical language, the more I realize that I also need to develop my own ways of notation. This goal will be declared as finished when I have uploaded both a proper sheet music and a recording of a performance of the piece. It's gonna take some more work and I might not be at home for the upcoming week, so it might take a while.
  2. #9 Video uploaded and sent It's up I uploaded it just a few hours ago and already got a response from him. Was very warm and encouraging and he also pointed out things I should work on. Still not in the mood for writing/reflecting/thinking too much, so let's move on to next one.
  3. Well that would be nice too, but I'm mainly trying to learn about the theory here. What resources did you use to learn about Spiral Dynamics?
  4. Why do you think that? The article you link to doesn't mention Spiral Dynamics at all. Who exactly picked up whose ideas in which works? This post maps Ken Wilber's stages and Spiral Dynamics onto each other in a completely different way. Was yours anything other than a wild guess?
  5. @bazera Like what reasons for example?
  6. #8 Next goal - Sending a video of my hands playing Lubomyr Melnyk's exercise "Meditation Nr. 01-C" to Lubomyr Melnyk This is the next goal. I'm gonna explain later, now I'm in the mood of doing shit. Ah, forgot to mention: The "sending" will be via a YouTube link. So I'm gonna officially start my YouTube channel now O_O
  7. Appendix to #7 My current best messy description of the core idea: Within our bodies, there happens lots of vital stuff all the time (blood-flow, breathing, digestion, etc.). All the vital stuff that is happening is being represented in the brain (="interoception"). Interoception is experienced in two dimensions - valence: spectrum from pleasant to unpleasant, and arousal: spectrum from calm to agitated (this two-dimensional experience of interoception is called "affect"). Our nervous system creates goal-specific concepts by wiring a large collection of sensory neurons (wiring = forming synapses) to other neurons up to a small collection of default network neurons, which represent the concept. Emotions are concepts we create, to interpret and give meaning to the affect we feel in the context of a given situation. My aspiration when I state the core idea of something I've read is usually that a hypothetical Me that would not have read that thing would be able to grasp the core idea from reading my description of it. Not too confident about that in this case. But I genuinely did the best I could I would be able to refine it by putting more work into it, but ain't nobody got time for that shit right now, I want to move on to something else finally for Christ's sake. ***** Complete notes: Chapter 1: The Search for Emotion's "Fingerprints" Meta-analyses suggest: Emotions do not correspond to one distinctive physiological pattern or brain pattern (= "fingerprint"). However, a statistical "average/meta brain pattern" can be extracted, which can then reliably match new brain patterns to the corresponding emotions. Conclusions: Emotions are better thought of as categories instead of universals. Chapter 2: Emotions Are Constructed Emotions are constructed by "the mind" ascribing (body-budgetly-relevant) meanings to sensations. (Does "the mind" really exist? Or is ascription of meanings to sensations just happening as a mechanism of multiple different parts working together in a process, structurally similar to the one constructing emotions?) Chapter 3: The Myth of Universal Emotions The studies which seem to support the classical view of emotions rely on culture specific concepts. "When we asked our Himba subjects to freely label their piles, smiling faces were not “happy” (ohange) but “laughing” (ondjora). Wide-eyed faces were not “fearful” (okutira) but “looking” (tarera). In other words, the Himba participants categorized facial movements as behaviors rather than inferring mental states or feelings." (p. 49) "I asked them to make up a story about each facial expression [photograph]. “Tell me what is happening now, what happened before to make the person show this expression, and what is going to happen next.” It was like pulling teeth. I am not certain whether it was the translation process, or the fact that they have no idea what it was I wanted to hear or why I wanted them to do this. Perhaps making up stories about strangers was just something the Fore didn’t do." (p. 53, quoted from Ekman) "Not all cultures understand emotions as internal mental states. Himba and Hadza emotion concepts, for example, appear to be more focused on actions. This is also true of certain Japanese emotion concepts. The Ifaluk of Micronesia consider emotions as transactions between people. To them, anger is not a feeling of rage, a scowl, a pounding fist, or a loud yelling voice, all within the skin of one person, but a situation in which two people are engaged in a script—a dance, if you will—around a common goal. In the Ifaluk view, anger does not “live” inside either participant." (p. 53) Chapter 4: The Origin of Feeling We experience interoception as affect. Interoception = the brain's representation of all sensations from - internal organs and tissues - hormones in the blood - immune system "Think about what’s happening within your body right this second. Your insides are in motion. Your heart sends blood rushing through your veins and arteries. Your lungs fill and empty. Your stomach digests food. This interoceptive activity produces the spectrum of basic feeling from pleasant to unpleasant, from calm to jittery, and even completely neutral." (p. 56) Affect = phenomenological experience of interoception - Valence-spectrum: Pleasant -------------------- Unpleasant - Arousal-spectrum: Calm -------------------- Agitated "Affect is the general sense of feeling that you experience throughout each day. It is not emotion but a much simpler feeling with two features. The first is how pleasant or unpleasant you feel, which scientists call valence. The pleasantness of the sun on your skin, the deliciousness of your favorite food, and the discomfort of a stomachache or a pinch are all examples of affective valence. The second feature of affect is how calm or agitated you feel, which is called arousal. The energized feeling of anticipating good news, the jittery feeling after drinking too much coffee, the fatigue after a long run, and the weariness from lack of sleep are examples of high and low arousal. Anytime you have an intuition that an investment is risky or profitable, or a gut feeling that someone is trustworthy or an asshole, that’s also affect. Even a completely neutral feeling is affect." (p. 72) Chapter 5: Concepts, Goals and Words Concept = category Category = collection of objects, events or actions In order to navigate ourselves in the world, our nervous system creates goal-specific concepts by wiring a large collection of sensory neurons (wiring = forming synapses) to other neurons up to a small collection of default network neurons, which represent the concept. Words make this process more flexible and more efficient. Chapter 6: How the Brain Makes Emotions "Emotions are meaning. They explain your interoceptive changes and corresponding affective feelings, in relation to the situation. They are a prescription for action. The brain systems that implement concepts, such as the interoceptive network and the control network, are the biology of meaningmaking." (p. 126) Chapter 7: Emotions as Social Reality "Your brain continually predicts and simulates all the sensory inputs from inside and outside your body, so it understands what they mean and what to do about them. These predictions travel through your cortex, cascading from the body-budgeting circuitry in your interoceptive network to your primary sensory cortices, to create distributed, brain-wide simulations, each of which is an instance of a concept. The simulation that’s closest to your actual situation is the winner that becomes your experience, and if it’s an instance of an emotion concept, then you experience emotion. This whole process occurs, with the help of your control network, in the service of regulating your body budget to keep you alive and healthy. In the process, you impact the body budgets of those around you, to help you survive to propagate your genes into the next generation. This is how brains and bodies create social reality. This is also how emotions become real." (p. 151) Chapter 8: A New View of Human Nature Dividing line between self and world is permeable or nonexistent: Brain constructs world via simulation, world wires brain via sensory input creating synapses. Culture helps wiring your brain, which in turn makes you behave in certain ways, wiring the brains of others and future generations. All your actions, emotions, etc. are an active construction by your brain, having wired itself to issue the actions/emotions/etc., in order to regulate body budget. You can change your brain-wiring and therefore your behavior of tomorrow by changing your experiences today. Chapter 9: Mastering Your Emotions Keep body budget in good shape: - Eat healthy - Exercise - Proper sleep & rest - Body contact (e.g. massage) - Yoga - Get sunlight - Spend time in greenery - Have houseplants - Take care of your living space - Read good novels, watch good movies - Set up regular lunch dates with a friend taking turns treating each other - Have a Pet - Take Walks Increase emotional granularity by increasing emotional vocabulary by: - Taking trips - Reading books, watching movies - Trying unfamiliar foods - Try on new perspectives - Learn new words for emotions - Invent own emotion concepts - Describe experiences, feelings/emotions with greater granulartiy In the moment: - Move your body - Change location/situation - Recategorize emotions into physical sensations - Deconstruct your "self" - Mindfulness meditation - Cultivate awe (being in the presence of something vastly greater than yourself) Chapter 10: Emotion and Illness Many physical and psychological illnesses are explained by flawed regulation of body budget and an imbalance of prediction and correction. Chapter 11: Emotion and the Law Committing crimes "under the influence of emotion" should not protect you from harsher punishment. "Take a moment and reflect on your own emotions. Do you tend to feel things intensely or more moderately? When we ask these types of questions in my lab to male and female test subjects —to describe their feelings from memory—the women report feeling more emotion than the men do on average. That is, the women believe they are more emotional than men, and the men agree. The one exception is anger, as subjects believe that men are angrier. However, when the same people record their emotional experiences as they occur in everyday life, there are no sex differences. Some men and women are very emotional, and some are not." "Judges and jurors infer intent, usually in line with their own beliefs, stereotypes, and current body states. Here is just one example of how this works. Test subjects watched a video of protestors being dispersed by police. They were told the protestors were pro-life activists picketing an abortion clinic. Those who were liberal Democrats, who tend to be pro-choice, inferred that the activists had violent intentions, whereas socially conservative subjects inferred peaceful intentions. The researchers also showed the same video to a second set of subjects, describing the protestors this time as gay rights activists objecting to the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. This time, those who were liberal Democrats, who tend to support gay rights, inferred that the activists had peaceful intentions, whereas socially conservative subjects inferred violent intentions." "The law has been slow to accept that memories are constructed, but the situation is gradually changing. The Supreme Courts of New Jersey, Oregon, and Massachusetts are leading the way in this regard. Their jurors now receive instructions that provide step-by-step details — based on years of psychological research — explaining all the ways in which memory can go wrong in eyewitness testimony. They read how memories are constructed and infused with beliefs that can result in distortions and illusions, how the instructions given by lawyers and police can introduce biases, how confidence is unrelated to accuracy, how stress can impair memory, and how eyewitness testimony was a factor in falsely convicting more than three quarters of the people who were exonerated by DNA evidence for crimes that they did not commit. Unfortunately, no such guidelines exist to explain to jurors what an emotional expression is, what a mental inference is, or how they are constructed." "People don’t have a rational side and an emotional side, with the former regulating the latter. Judges can’t set aside affect to issue rulings by pure reason. Jurors can’t detect emotion in defendants. The most objective-looking evidence is tainted by affective realism. Criminal behavior can’t be isolated to a blob in the brain. Emotional harm is not mere discomfort but can shorten a life. In short, every perception and experience within the courtroom— or anywhere else—is a culturally infused, highly personalized belief, corrected by sensory inputs from the world, rather than the result of an unbiased process." [How could I forget to note the page numbers for these quotes?] Chapter 12: Is a Growling Dog Angry? Animals feel affect, but likely don't have emotion concepts. Chapter 13: From Brain to Mind: The New Frontier The Mind is a product of evolution, but not sculpted by genes alone. The Mind is not a battleground between opposing inner forces (passion and reason). Brain predicts with its concepts, at least a slew of them are learned, as the brain wires itself to its physical and social surroundings. Although human brains share basically the same kind of networks, individual minds are structurally different, depending on individual experience and cultural differences. Overall structure of the brain is similar from person to person, but details vary significantly. The wiring within a single brain is not static. The billions of neurons in one brain continually reconfigure themselves from one pattern into another. Different sets of neurons produce the same outcomes (degeneracy). The brain is a complex system (its efficiency in creating and transmitting information is highly increased by the fact that every single neuron can be part of a variety of different patterns, which makes possible a huge repertoire of experiences, perceptions and behaviors). Natural selection favors a complex brain. Complexity goes against the idea of mental organs, issuing universal concepts (as they would be much less efficient). A human brain can create many different kinds of minds, yet all minds share some commonalities: - Affective realism (you experience what you believe, ) - Concepts (human brain is wired to build a conceptual system) - Social reality (at birth, your body budget is regulated by other people, which determines the building of your conceptual system) Construction theory advocates skepticism. Appendix A: Brain Basics Nervous system - Central nervous system - Spinal cord - Brain - Cortex - Frontal lobe - 4-6 Layers of - Neurons (organinzed in columns, wired into circuits and networks) - Parietal lobe - Layers - Occipital lobe - Layers - Temporal lobe - Layers - Subcortex - Regions - Clumps of neurons (e.g. amygdala) - Cerebellum - Peripheral nervous system - Autonomic nervous system - Somatic nervous system Neurons (receiving and sending electrical energy (= "firing") and neurotransmitters) - Cell body - Nucleus - Dendrites (with receptors receiving neurotransmitters) - Axons - Synaptic terminals (sending neurotransmitters) [in OnNote, this actually looks fine] Appendix D: Evidence for the Concept Cascade There is a (non-strict) hierarchy of neurons reaching from sensory neurons to default network neurons (bottom-up) and a (non-strict) hierarchy of neurons reaching from default network neurons to sensory neurons (top-down). Sensory neurons represent sensory information, default network neurons represent concepts of sensations. Wow. These are a mess. Definitely could refine these with more work. But I cannot see this shit anymore right now. Bye How Emotions Are Made, was nice talkin' to you, now I gotta move on with my LIFE.
  8. #7 How Emotions Are Made - Final Review Jeez, this took me one heck of a long time to do this final step. Mainly because I was busy with other things. But also because I kicked it down the road and procrastinated a bit. But I mainly procrastinated with practicing piano and composing, so it's okay. ***** Assessment of the aforementioned substeps: - Read the appendices, they were helpful. - Reread the two chapters for which I hadn't had any notes and made notes for them. - Evaluation of 3 questions below. - Didn't ask other people about the book. Probably would've sped up the process of understanding it better. Maybe with the next book I read. - Was able to think through the process of how emotions are made on an ontological level (according to the book). Description of that below. ***** Evaluation of questions: 1) Can I finish this book when I decide to, or will I let other things get in the way and thereby find out that I should choose my goals more wisely? I knew already in the beginning why I chose a goal I didn't particularly care about: Had I chosen a goal that was connected to something that was actually important to me, there would have been fear of failure and the danger that I interpreted my not achieving it as "I failed at attaining that goal, so I'm a failure at that thing now, so I can't pursue it, so I have to drop it, so I can't pursue it in the future, so I'll always stay a failure". Something along those lines. Have done that many times before. Now that I successfully proved to myself that I can stick with a goal until I reached it, the next one will be something that is connected to what I'm actually supposed to do with my life at the moment (which I have some doubts about, but this is not the place to worry about that). 2) What practical use can I make of the content? Now that I cognized a few times at least roughly the full process of how emotions are supposed to be made according to the book, I internalized all these ideas to some extent and I see this enriching my mental landscape. It gave me a perspective on emotions that I can now use productively whenever I reflect on emotions or work with them in some other way. That's cool. 3) Will I notice any difference in using my voice in everyday life? I am in fact more at ease with using my voice in everyday life than I was when I started reading the book, but I'm not sure if reading the book out loud contributed to that at all. Right now I'm leaning more towards trying out some speed-reading techniques, so no reading out loud gonna happen with that. If I felt the need to work on my voice I'd probably go with singing. Still wanna do the audio-book thing at some point though. ***** I could do a book review, but I don't feel like it. This was never about the book anyways goddammit, I just wanted to finish something. I got so sucked up by the book being a book Still I feel like adding my description of the core idea and my notes, so that I have a proof for myself that I actually did some work here and the journal doesn't just say "I wanna do X, I did X, hooray". Shit will be in a separate post not to make this one a long-ass mess.
  9. @Monkey-man Thanks for the link and your outline.
  10. Thanks for recommending, have listened to it today. Got me interested to check out more of his stuff and read that Beck & Cowan book. (Now I'm mad at the person who invented the term "Spiral Dynamics", what a stupid term They should've stuck with Bio-Psycho-Social-Systems Approach to Human Cognition.)
  11. What piece are you learning at the moment? Do you use any specific methods for learning a new piece? My main thing is composing, but I also wanna build a repertoire and feel like I would need probably 2-3 years devoted just to that in order to attain the repertoire I wanna have at the level I want it to be. Do you have any recommendations on how to not get overwhelmed by the volume of work it takes to learn new pieces or get pieces to your personal top level and make them stick there?
  12. Then do yourself a favor and don't get into this bullshit of "there's something wrong with my brain". It's a trap. Meds might help some people short term to keep their life together for a while until they learn to stabilize themselves with other strategies. But statistically, they do more harm than good long-term. And also from a common sense perspective, if you take drugs, you distort your emotions, so you don't get to learn to deal with them. As long as you can find the courage and honesty and strength, always look at your actual problems and try to find ways to deal with them, instead of creating a story which makes your symptoms into the problem. Just my opinion, hope you're getting well
  13. @Akim That's why I always ask people what the cause of their problem is. But this gets kinda difficult when they say "well, attacks just come out of the blue for no reason". What do you do then?
  14. I figure getting them involved in the process of acquiring the resources that satisfy their needs should do some good.
  15. What are you anxious about in those episodes? Any guesses what might be the causes?
  16. I've had times where I didn't own a smartphone. It took away zero from my quality of life. You have an old Nokia flying around, so just try it out for a week and then you'll see how it goes. Another strategy that I've used successfully with screen-technology in general: Whenever you want or need to use your smartphone, you can write in a notebook or on a piece of paper what you are going to use it for in that moment. Then you can go ahead and use it for that thing. And after you're done with that thing, you turn it off. And you don't turn it on until you want or need it the next time and not before you've written down again what you're going to use it for. The important thing is to not check and respond to notifications before you've fulfilled your purpose of switching it on. You either allow yourself consciously to do it afterwards or you devote an extra on-switch for that purpose (again, having it specified before in written form). This works because the main problem of unhealthy smartphone usage is that you fuck up your reward system by hashing passively for novelty, which gives you dopamine spikes (that's why it makes you lethargic and depressed). By forcing yourself to use your phone actively, you take back control and your dopamine system can recover and get you more motivated to do actual activities which benefit you If you don't want to be that strict, I would at least always have it in silent mode with vibration turned off (unless you need or want to be available for a period of time), holding it in the hands as little as possible, keeping it in a separate room as much as possible. If all of that feels too hard in the beginning, you can still go with "awareness alone is curative". You can do it
  17. I guess we're gonna have to try and find that out. What I've learned on myself is that command and restraint is a very unsuccessful strategy. (Btw, Spiral Dynamics Theory should have some answers for you.)
  18. It's because every single individual has to learn all the lessons for themselves. It's because the "wrong" thing always seems tempting at first, until you as an individual learn the lesson the hard way. It's because the "right" way usually comes with delayed gratification, which you don't learn to appreciate before you taste it. And it takes a while until you give it a try, because your first thought is "why should I constrain myself so much and apply all this effort? Seems very uncomfortable..." At least that's what comes up when I examine my own past.
  19. @RossE It's been recommended to me several times, but if I'm informed correctly, it stops at Turquoise, which is only vaguely described. What I'd like to know is where this talk about Coral and even higher stages comes from.
  20. @sleeperstakes Yeah, such vague overviews I've seen. Again, there's no detailed descriptions of the highest stages (or not even of any stage in this case).
  21. I suppose by not worrying about what others think or judge they don't mean "say/do whatever you feel like and then everyone will like you, because you're so authentic", but rather "say/do whatever you feel like and be detached from the outcome". If the outcome is you got banned from a pickup forum, so be it. As you tell the story, her banning you was stupid. It's funny how you make this into yet another proof that your whole life is a failure You just got banned from a pickup forum, that's all.
  22. Can you describe one specific situation where you got drained? If introverts are overwhelmed by fast-paced, chaotic group conversations, why don't they just hang with each oher then? In the discussion of this "introverts need alone time to recharge" idea, there seems to always be this presupposition that there's the one introvert on one side and then there are all the other people who are all loud, fast-paced extroverts on the other side. I acknowledge that there are brain differences. I just think that there are also matters of self-efficacy, social skills and inner skills that are over-looked.