jjer94

First off, you may want to supplement that meditation with self-inquiry. Watch Leo's "How to be Enlightened" video for more info on that. You have this idea in your head that enlightenment, i.e. Truth, is some transcendent realm that's somehow apart from the "reality" that you talk about. It's not. Truth is not an experience, but it's not apart from experience. It's not some place you go to either; who you are is Truth itself. To say that it's impossible to spend all time in Truth, when you are Truth, is a contradiction you may want to contemplate. It's not a "step above" reality either. The reality you think of as reality is not actually reality, and the real reality is Truth. You can never leave Truth. It's not depressing at all to come back to what you call "reality." In fact, it's incredibly liberating when you realize you are not anything ephemeral like the body. That makes life into more of a play, a game, than a serious ordeal. You're finally free to do whatever you feel like doing regardless of what others say. You can finally make the most out of your life while it lasts. Yes, you may not relate to most people anymore, but you can't help but love everyone and everything. You realize that everything is pointless, not only the lower stuff, but the pursuit of enlightenment itself. And you can only smile in gratitude at it all. "Look where we are! We're in eternity's carnival. You can do anything; ride any ride, play any game, do whatever you want. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you shall pop like a snot bubble. It's not a prison of hopelessness and despair, it's a magnificent carnival with free admission and no rules. You can't stay forever, but you're here now, all shiny and new and ready to make a great big mess. Surely you can set aside your infantile need for meaning and just play." - Jed McKenna

I doubt it's because of the cheat days. Let me give you an analogy... The hydra. You've heard of that mythical beast, haven't you? It's ferocious, gets in your face, and is hard to kill because it has multiple heads. You can try slicing its heads off with a dagger, but they grow back if you stop slicing them off. That's pretty frustrating! The only way to kill the hydra is by stabbing it in the heart with your awesome sword. The hydra is who you think you are, the ego. Its heads are the thought-stories you weave day-in and day-out. Meditation is the equivalent of the dagger. While you can temporarily maim the hydra, its heads will just grow back, and the thought-stories will return. You've been meditating for a year now, and you've noticed little progress towards mental stability. That's probably because you've only been chopping the heads off and forgot about that awesome sword you have.... What's the awesome sword? Awareness. The process of becoming aware is the process of understanding you, the character, Melanie. What are her desires? Why does she desire that? Why is she so angry at the moment? Is she afraid? What agenda is she trying to accomplish with this particular emotion? By understanding yourself through the sword of awareness, you will stab the hydra in the heart and the heads will start dying naturally. Awareness is not trying to fix Melanie; it's just trying to understand Melanie and what makes her tick. I suggest you supplement meditation with awareness. Practice it all the time, on and off the cushion; life is your meditation now. Life is your spiritual practice. Any time you feel emotional pain is an opportunity to learn more about Melanie, and in the process, kill more and more of the hydra. If you want more of a how-to on how to practice awareness, I suggest reading the book Awareness by Tony de Mello. All the best, Melanie! P.S. You don't need earplugs or a quiet space for meditation.

Leo would say do it daily if you want the full effects, and I'd agree with that... for the most part. If you're really truly into meditation, you'd find a way to do it despite your circumstances. Maybe there's a park near your flat where you can do it on a bench, or some field where you can sit in the grass. There are more options than you think. Don't worry about missing days of meditation. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it. And while you're at this crossroads, maybe now would be a good time to reflect over what you've gotten out of meditation and why you're doing it. Are you doing it for stress reduction? Relaxation? Health benefits? Or are you doing it for enlightenment work? Just stuff to consider.

Enlightenment, or Truth, has nothing to do with life experiences. How can you threaten a Truth that was never born and doesn't die? If I misinterpreted your question and you're instead wondering if it's possible to become unenlightened...Yes, to a certain extent. Once you see the Truth, you can't unsee it, but you can cover it up by re-identifying with ego. After you have an awakening, it is very natural to fall back asleep into old conditioning. When you wake up after so many years of being fast asleep, you'll be feeling groggy. You'll want to fall back asleep into the illusion of security of what's familiar: your warm bed. You may even do so for a while. But once you've had an awakening, it's near impossible to fall back asleep permanently. You will naturally start taking off bed sheets and your pajamas...and then finally roll out of bed. You know the comfort from the bed is an illusion, and you will instead want to live in what's really there, which is awakedness. Survival instincts have little to do with awakening. Those are programmed responses that we don't have much control over. If you touch a hot pan, you will naturally recoil. If you're stuck in a burning house, you will want to get the heck out of there. Of course, there are exceptions. In the end, it doesn't matter how you deal with life-threatening situations. What does matter is that you've "sucked the marrow out of life" while you're still alive and well, and enlightenment allows you to suck the bone dry.

I edited my map to reflect this point. Thanks for mentioning that. @shouldnt My map was very misleading due to the phrase "full enlightenment". Forget about what I said before. You can still be fully aligned with Truth and play the human game. I edited my post so that you can get a clearer picture.

How long? Of course you could say it takes no time since time doesn't exist, but that doesn't really help answer your question. On a practical level, how long it takes depends on how deluded you are: how full your cup is. If your cup is the size of an oil tanker and the drain-hole is small, it'll take a long-ass time to empty that cup. You may not even want to bother. This is often the case with senile old people who entrenched themselves in ego at an early age and dug themselves into a massive hole. This can even be the case with people who consider themselves spiritual that have meditated for 30+ years expecting enlightenment but haven't gotten there because they still believe all of the garbage their teachings tell them. If your cup holds 8 oz of clean water, then emptying that cup would be a breeze. This is often the case for young people who caught themselves early on, or for people who never really believed in much to begin with. Depression usually helps to accelerate the disillusionment process. Of course, you also have to keep in mind that after enlightenment, there will often still be plenty of deprogramming to do, which can take months to several years to work through. As you can probably see, I can't give you an exact time frame for how long it takes. It's different for everyone. You also don't realize how full your cup is until you've actually looked for yourself. Hopefully that clears things up a little for you...?

Dear Captain America, Before you start any self-actualization/enlightenment work, I suggest you first deal with the more pressing issues in your life, such as your finances. How can a superhero become self-actualized when he's struggling to get food on the table? No sense in putting the cart before the horse. All the best mate, JJ

I didn't expect that. From your previous posts, it sounds like you are.

To make positive affirmations work, you have to say the affirmation: "Positive affirmations work."

@shantaram Hi shantaram, I have an analogy about the actualized self that I used before, but I'll use it here again. As you've been told, the self is an illusion, but it's a totally different thing when you see it for yourself. Imagine sailing a boat, believing you have control as to where you go because your hand is on the tiller. Then, something causes you to turn around and look down at the tiller. You see for yourself that this whole time, there was no rudder! You were never steering the boat even when you believed you were! It may take some time, but eventually, you release your hand off the tiller; you release your illusion of control. And instead of the boat crashing, it sails even better now that your hand is off that dang tiller. The wind gently guides the boat, and the boat goes wherever it feels like going. That is actualized sailing. The boat is your body and mind. Your hand on the tiller is ego. Release the tiller, and your body and mind do whatever they feel moved to do. That may sound disastrous, but without the ego's demands, life just flows naturally. You do whatever you feel like doing, and you finish whatever you need to get done. Anything that doesn't get done was probably not worth getting done in the first place. You "work" (it's play) more efficiently without the ego making judgments about choices, because there are no choices; there is only flow. That is the self-actualized life. And yes, it's a contradiction because there is no self to actualize. But this is what Leo is likely referring to. I hope that clears things up for you!

I agree...for the most part. On the way to Truth-realization is discovering the "I Am" (also known as the "witness"), which is the first step to realizing you're not the ego. Jed McKenna aptly calls this stage "Human Adulthood." My guess is that Teal Swan and Alan Watts are here. This is not enlightenment, i.e. truth-realization. Truth-realization happens in a flash, and that is the thing that could be considered black-and-white. Truth can't be divided into shades of gray; it just is. However, having an awakening to the "I Am" or seeing Truth does not magically fix all your ego problems. The ego is seen through, but its conditioning is still there. I would consider this stage post-realization or the deprogramming stage. There was some deprogramming in the previous stages, but this is where the brunt of it takes place. After deprogramming, the body and mind will be aligned with Truth. What it feels moved to do after that is up in the air. Some continue to be a Human Adult and play the human game. Some become hermits. Others have their egos so destroyed to a point where they're unable to function in normal society. UG Krishnamurti was an example of this. You have to keep in mind that after aligning with Truth, the illusion of control is completely destroyed, so it's not like there's any choice as to what the body and mind feel moved to do. So here's my rough map of the stages: Asleep - > Seeker - > Dark Night of Soul - > Human Adulthood -> Deprogramming - > Truth Realization -> Deprogramming -> Truth alignment HOWEVER...On a more fundamental level, this map is bogus. It only helps give you an idea of where you may be headed. This map is a timeline when there is no time; there is only Now. And in the Now, you're either aligned with Truth, or you're not. So on a practical level, you can say there are these stages of delusion, but on a fundamental level, it's binary.

There are no rules as to how you should meditate. Do whatever feels best to you!

Let me clear something up for you. I think you're under the impression that enlightenment is some sort of fleeting experience. Upon realizing Truth ("nothingness"), you may experience bliss, heavenly feelings, kundalini, joy, gratitude, full enjoyment of the present moment, still mind, and a bunch of other side effects. But those experiences are not Truth itself. How could Truth feel like heaven if it's nothing at all? The Truth itself is very very subtle. It's also not an experience, because all experiences are fleeting, and Truth is eternal. You don't have to "extend the time of being in such a state" to abide in Truth if you're fully enlightened. I'd rather not go into full detail on the "how-to get enlightened" - you may want to buy Leo's book list or watch his videos to help you with that. What's so heaven-inducing about Truth is that at that moment, you realize you are not the body, the ego, or any other ephemeral things in your experience. What a friggin' relief! How do you know when or if enlightenment happens? I can only give you a crappy analogy. How do you know if you've orgasmed during sex? You just know.

@Huz88 Notice your wording here. You try hard to get rid of them. To try to get rid of them is itself inauthentic, because you have an agenda to be authentic. Authenticity will naturally flow out when you stop trying to be authentic. Authenticity is very natural, like the wind that guides a sailboat. How do you completely let the wind guide you? By releasing the tiller on the boat. How do you release the tiller? By just letting go. To let go is to radically accept the present moment. It's to remove all notion of "should" or "shouldn't" so the body just does whatever it feels moved to do. If you haven't watched Leo's free will video, watch it. Because essentially what this is, is releasing the illusion of control. You're making things worse by trying to control the situation. Like I said to Dan, the way to get rid of your authenticities is not to try and control them; it's to let them come to the surface by letting go. Once you become aware of these inauthenticities and understand their manipulative purpose, then they will subside naturally. No need to force anything. Just use your own awareness. Of course there's a correlation! Those who realize Truth will naturally align their lives based on Truth. Instead of doing things out of inauthentic self-agendas, they will naturally gravitate towards what feels right to them, which is almost always authentic. Once you've been on the path for a while, you start to develop an intuitive ability to sense rightness and not-rightness. You may want to try to use that for this situation. What feels right to you? Maybe you can still socialize with your buddies and just not talk about spirituality. Or maybe you're so different from them now that it's not worth hanging out with them anymore? That's up to you to decide. But whatever you do, there's no need to judge them or anyone else as "inferior" for not pursuing spirituality. What that does is that closes you down, and this path is about openness to the utmost degree. Cheers!

Wait, so these "automatic reactions" are not authentic? If they are, then why bother changing? I put on different masks in front of different people all the time, because one mask may be more fitting for one person. If I'm with a dog, I talk in a high voice. When I'm with a philosopher, I talk analytically. When I'm with my Mom, I talk like a hippy. Just because you act differently in front of people doesn't make it inauthentic. It's only inauthentic when there's an agenda behind the mask you're wearing, where you're trying to manipulate someone into doing something for your self-agenda. Although this situation does sound inauthentic.... What if in the mere effort of trying to be yourself, you become inauthentic? Ponder that. You want to "keep" the phase that offers love, calmness, and authenticity, which sounds like you want to don the mask of "kind person" so that other people can reflect back to you how amazing you are. These are very subtle ego games here. Ego wants to control the situation in order to fulfill some future outcome, and by controlling the situation it resists its current situation. Isn't that what's happening right now? Why did you decide to post this? Because you're resisting your present situation? In order to truly "be yourself," as you say, you probably need to let go of the idea of "being yourself." Let go of your need to act a certain way at all, and be completely unfiltered in your interactions with people. I double dog dare you. See what happens! Yes, it'll be embarrassing at times, you'll be afraid to do it, you may hurt some feelings here and there. But in the process of being radically honest, you will reveal all of your inauthenticities in yourself. You will intuitively sense what feels forced, what feels inauthentic. Once you become aware of your inauthenticities and what they're trying to accomplish, you will be much less likely to be inauthentic. Don't try to be authentic; only become aware of your inauthenticities through radical honesty. Authenticity will naturally flow in like spring water. And please, don't beat yourself up for being inauthentic. It's just conditioning you'll have to work through. Whether you decide to take the plunge into radical honesty is up to you. Either way, I wish you the best! JJ

You're looking for answers with words when there are none. All of the answers are available to you in your direct experience. Don't listen to anything your thoughts tell you, and certainly don't listen to me. Just look in your direct experience. Where is the mind in your direct experience? Does it even exist? Where is the head in your direct experience? Does it even exist?

@Niki Hi Niki! Let's clear the air for a second. When Leo says "the self is an illusion," what does that mean? An illusion is something that appears to be there but does not actually exist. The self is something that appears to be there in your experience, but it doesn't actually exist. It's just an idea, like Santa Clause. So, technically, your experience right now, forever and always, is one of no-self. Seeing that the self is an illusion is a totally different story. It sounds to me like you're thinking of enlightenment as an experience: some sudden experience of joy, bliss, ecstasy, feelings of oneness, etc. Those particular things may be side effects, but enlightenment is an inner realization of your true nature, and Truth is not an experience. Experiences are fleeting and don't last forever; your true nature has been around for an eternity. You're frustrated because you want to recreate that amazing experience you had, thinking it will promise you salvation. In fact, you may want more of those experiences. If you would like more of those experiences, look up Kriya meditations; you can get in some amazing states of bliss doing those. However, that will not cure your frustration. Your frustration likely lies in the stories you tell yourself about enlightenment and your feelings of unworthiness for not making enough progress on your journey compared to everyone else. If you're serious about enlightenment, you have to realize that there is no such thing as progress on this journey. Progress means gaining something, moving towards some ideal destination. Enlightenment work is kind of the opposite: it's a regression back to your primal state of awareness. Regression means losing things, returning to where you've been this whole time. What are you losing on the journey to enlightenment? Illusions. Illusions about who you are, what defines you, where you are, what you should and should not do. This frustration of yours is an opportunity to see through your first illusion. What is your frustration trying to accomplish? What's the hidden agenda behind it? Maybe it's not frustration, but it's depression? Maybe it's deeper than depression; maybe it's fear that you won't get the most out of life? Who knows? It's your job to dig deep into yourself and uncover your own illusions. Here's a reference point: Every belief you have about reality, about who you think you are (even 'I am nothingness'), and about what you should do, is not true. Every belief is an illusion that has no existence outside of the mind that constructed it. Any beliefs such as "I am a worthless piece of crap" or "I am a painter" are illusions that don't actually exist. You probably didn't sign up for contemplation. Facing your emotions and examining them is painful. It's much easier to meditate, and while that can help on the journey, you probably don't want to depend on it completely if you're really serious about enlightenment. And don't just abandon your practice when you're away from the cushion; Life itself is your spiritual practice. Any time you feel emotional resistance in your day-to-day activities is an opportunity to inquire about the hidden illusions that are fueling these emotions. See through enough illusions, and all those things that once caused your suffering won't anymore. Once you discover how the magic trick works, it's not even worth seeing it again. Cheers!

Enlightenment = The realization of Truth, i.e. your True nature; what you were before you were born, what you will be after you die, and what you are right now. Side effects include: abiding non-dual awareness, dis-identification with ego and body, love for life, compassion, spontaneity, flow, manifestation of authentic desires, and many many more.

@Emerald @ The Diamond Net If you continue to struggle, then you don't see it as an illusion; you only tell yourself it is. See the illusion for what it is, and its power on you will disappear completely.

I think you're confused as to what the authentic self really is. I posted this on another thread, but I think it applies here: Quote: "I want to reach enlightenment. I want to know the Truth. But I also want to find my authentic "self" and self-actualize. Sometimes it feels as if the two contradicts one another. I want to be really social, outgoing, energetic, motivated and all of that, and I'm on my way to become exactly who I want to be." When you discover the Truth, it's not that you won't be able to find your authentic self. You realize that your authentic self never existed. And from that clear-seeing, what's authentic within you will naturally arise. The authentic self arises when the notion of an authentic self or the ideal of what you should be is removed. I don't know if you watched Leo's video on free will, but what I say will make much more sense. Imagine your whole life that you've been sailing the Atlantic Ocean with your dog, using your tiller to guide the boat through the sea. Then a storm hits, and you don't know if you'll survive. Oddly enough, you look down at the tiller and realize that there was no rudder the whole time. You've been pretending that you're steering the boat this whole time, when you had no control over where the boat went whatsoever, and you suffered because you believed you had control. But now, in the storm, seeing that you had no control the whole time, you surrender completely to the whims of the boat...and make it out of the storm. Now that you realize the boat's been steering itself, you release the tiller. The sailing becomes enjoyable again, and it goes wherever it wants to go. That is authentic sailing. Now imagine that the sailboat is your body, and your hand on the tiller is ego, who you think you are. Release the tiller completely, and the body steers itself, free of any self-agendas. That is what Leo refers to as "authentic self". Quote: "So if I discover the Truth, how will the external circumstances be? Since I'll basically realize I don't exist, won't I become sort of ignorant and think "whatever... I'm already everything and nothing, I'm perfect" so I won't expand anymore externally. Or will it actually help in becoming more "self"-actualized and improve all of those things I mentioned before? How will people perceive me? Will confidence be a non-issue, or will it not be any issue of any kind cuz' it just won't matter to me?" The Truth is unrelated to external circumstances; it's always there. But once you discover Truth, you realize you never had any control, like in the boat analogy above. You no longer operate in fear, as you're doing right now, and instead let the body do its thing. Yes, at a fundamental level, you are already perfect, but the body still keeps going. Why? No reason anymore. It does things just out of the pure joy of living. And it does them authentically. It does whatever its moved to do. If that means becoming a monk, it'll do that. If that means becoming a rockstar, it'll do that. If that means doing a silly dance, it'll do that too. Examine how babies operate, how spontaneous they are, and that gives you a general idea of what post-enlightenment is like. Something tells me you're looking at enlightenment with an air of hope, expecting it to be the cure of all your problems. In fact, it's kind of the opposite. Enlightenment brings all of your problems up to the surface, where you have to face each and every one of them. The question you may want to ask yourself is: Am I willing to run towards my fears rather than away from them?

Hello Sigma, I can relate wholeheartedly, as before pursuing enlightenment I had the dream of becoming a researcher. I thought science had all the answers. And then I discovered its limits, as you say, and really started to hate it. That's when I started to see my egoic reasons for pursuing biology: I wanted the image of a mad scientist, I wanted to be the next Frankenstein engineering a new lifeform and receiving a noble prize, I wanted the recognition. It felt as though I was wearing someone else's clothes when I was doing research, and they didn't fit and stank to high heaven. I'm not asking you to stop pursuing science. What I'm asking you to do is to re-examine whether pursuing science is an authentic desire or an ego-driven desire. Is the reason you're pursuing it because you want the recognition, the 'greatness'? You will know if the desire is authentic if you can't come up with any reason why you'd want to pursue other than it being fun or you just feel moved to do it. Here's a good check to see if the desire is authentic: If you were the last man on earth, would you still pursue scientific study? As an aside, you may also want to re-examine your belief that you were sent to this Earth to pursue science. Listen to that little bastard in your head that only wants authenticity in your life and would do anything, even face fear, to have it. What does it want?

Be careful here. An enlightened being sees committing most crimes as unnecessary not because they want to reduce unnecessary suffering. They see them as unnecessary because it just wouldn't cross their minds. If the circumstances arose where they had to mass-murder a bunch of people, and it was clearly indicated, a fully enlightened being would do it with no remorse, no guilt whatsoever. By the way you word your point, it's as if you're spinning my words into a belief to add to your worldview. The belief is: No one should cause unnecessary suffering. Then you can use that as a way to reinforce your belief that eating animals is somehow wrong. Remember Leo's video about the knowledge graph? Watch that if you haven't, because this is what you're doing. I hate to break it to ya, but no belief is true. None. Don't take my word for it, though. Do your own inquiry into the matter. You don't have to do anything to become enlightened. The Truth already is, regardless of whether you've had sex with 1000 women, murdered a bunch of innocent children, have a racing mind, or hate somebody. What is commonly referred to as "enlightened behavior" is just an external side-effect of an internal realization.

What Pinocchio said. Let yourself be depressed. No sense in trying to fight it. In fact, that may make you want to pursue the Truth even more. As Jed McKenna once said, there's a little bastard in each one of us that wants the Truth no matter what. Leo's videos awoke that little bastard in you, and I'm rooting for him, not you. Sorry! First of all, there is no one to be free; freedom is just a concept, and a flimsy one at that. Second of all, you do things for the sake of doing them. Why do you go to a carnival? For the rides, not the stupid stuffed animal you get at the end. What the point of the rides? There is no point, they're just fun. That's life!

Good questions. My guess is that the Buddha thought ethical conduct could help you realize Truth. The issue with any set path to enlightenment such as the Eightfold Path is that your reasons for following the path are ego-based. It's like you expect to become the Buddha by wearing his robes. Very unlikely. Enlightenment is not an external change, but an internal realization in which external changes may be side effects. In fact, following any path will make you stagnate, because what you're doing is following a set of rules. Enlightenment is destroying/seeing through the rulebooks altogether. Yes, that means destroying your ideas of morality. Morality is basically, "You should do _____, you shouldn't do ______." Post-enlightenment is amoral, because you do whatever you feel moved to do regardless of rules. You may be wondering then, why don't most enlightened beings go on a killing spree and pillage everyone and everything if they don't have a moral code? The answer is: why would they? I mean, if the circumstances dictated that they murder someone, sure, they'll do it. But otherwise, what's the point? For some money to buy pointless stuff? For illusory vengeance? For recognition or status? Almost all of the reasons someone would commit a crime are ego-based. So...is it okay to eat meat? Of course it is! Pig out, my friend. One more belief dispelled is a victory in my book.

Discipline: To brute-force something with the knowledge that it's supposed to benefit you. After a while on the self-actualization journey, this becomes less and less effective, because it requires lots of effort. (True) Creativity: While in a state of not-knowing, to let the body and mind just do its thing, completely free from any ideas of future and past. Creativity in this way leads to the state of flow, which is akin to effortless functioning. That's my take on it, at least.