Rebecc

Sounds like both of our callings happened when we were in the pits. Thank you for sharing. It's good to know there are others who went through a similar situation.

Name: Rebecca Shih Age: 26 Gender: female Location: Chicago, USA Occupation: Sales Manager and entrepreneur Marital Status: Engaged Kids: No Hobbies: reading career development books, working out and lifting weights, cosplaying, all things art related My first calling that jump started my path to personal development happened when I was 19 years old. I was an extremely toxic person who hurt everyone who ever came across my path. I hurt my parents and my family the most. I was reckless and callous. I was living with my parents at the time and they did the best and most loving thing they could've done for me at the time. That meant kicking me out of the house. I moved from Chicago to California with a boyfriend at the time who had equally as many problems as I did. I lost contact with my family and friends and fell into a very deep depression for about a year. Something happened to me. I started to become aware of all the ways I was hurting myself and others around me. I made a commitment to myself that if I ever had the opportunity to again, I would go pursue my education and take full responsibility for the outcome of my life. My parents surprise visited me one day in December during the deepest pit of my depression. They told me that their door was always open for me and that they loved me and only wanted me to be happy. I left my ex in California and moved back in with my parents, even though I felt like I was starting from scratch, I knew it was the right thing to do. The whole experience was a pivotal turning point. Moving back in didn't make all my problems go away. I had regressed a few times and still had a lot of anxiety but each year got better and better. I graduated with my BA a year ago and now am a sales manager for the firm I work at. I have a loving, healthy relationship with a man that I only dreamed of being with. I'm creating the life I've always wanted. Personal challenges I've overcome: * Overcame my depression, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety * Overcame my poor impulse control and need for constant gratification * Got my degree after years of telling myself school wasn't for me * Lost a significant amount of body fat and am in the best shape of my life now * Learned weightlifting * Started my career in a industry that challenges and interests me * Developed and built a beautiful and nurturing romantic relationship What I'm working on now: * Working on my independence from others-being okay with being alone * Working on improving my health & diet * Working on developing my career and business * Working on investing in more self development products * Working on being less judgmental of others

My emotions are much better now. I'm not perfect so sometimes I lose my cool, but not for long until I reground myself

@blacksapp @blacksappits going to take time. You probably will accidentally hurt people in the process. Tell them you're working on yourself and that you're sorry when it happens. If the impulse is too strong for you to control remove yourself from the situation until you calm down.

@blacksapp you're talking to someone who used to be very emotionally unstable. I was someone who used to lash out at people over the smallest things. This took me 6 years to develop emotional control. Yes it's hard. But if you're asking for a silver bullet, there isn't one.

@Gladius I think it may be time to uncover and undo some of those childhood traumas. I also had a few traumas in my childhood and young adult years I needed to face. To put it short, I don't think it's ever something you can completely forget about. The reality is, it happened to you, but it shaped who you were. By facing these traumas it makes the weight of carrying them much lighter. Hope that helps

@blacksapp imagine creating a space between a event and your emotional reaction. If you're used to flying off the handle you probably don't notice that there is a space of time between what happens to you and how you respond to it. Bring awareness to this space and try to elongate the time before you respond. This space is where you decide how you want to react. You always have a choice

ENFP I'm a business sales manager. No surprise there

@Nahm @RossE thank you both for your wonderful words of encouragement. My friends who operate on a higher frequency are busier. They're accomplishing their goals and that takes up a lot of their time. I don't see them as much as I'd like because I'm busy doing big things as well. Sorta a catch 22. On the flip side I have a friend who has more free time but I'm starting to second guess whether it's one I want to keep maintaining. She hasn't matured much in our 6 years of being friends and is not a very self aware person. I just got done talking with her on the phone and now I feel a shift in my overall mood. (Not in a good way) what I am thankful for is the fact that my fiancé is someone I would consider very high frequency. So in that regard I'm happy I can connect with someone intimately on that level

@Phrae the no going back part is so true. I only look back now to see how far I've come. you are so right about being worth it. I just gotta remember the Role loneliness plays in the grand scheme of things

@Flare what a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing

It's very normal to experience negative emotions and feelings when you first start doing personal development and other things like meditation. I like comparing it to working out. If you don't regularly train your muscles it's going to hurt the first few times you do it. Youre raising awareness to the things in your life that need to be worked on. It's probably a lot and it gives you anxiety. You're on the right track. Now it's a good time to work on your balance and see what issues you should focus on first so you don't get overwhelmed

Hi everyone! This is my first time posting and hope this is to the right board. I'm really excited to part of a community of like minded people. I've been doing self development consistent for a while now. I feel like I'm reaching a point where I'm starting to realize the low quality consciousness of the majority of the people that I'm around. With that being said nobody is horrible that I should cut them out of my life. Many of them have wonderful redeeming qualities. However, the state or their consciousness certainly makes me want to limit the time that I am around them. Independence is an important piece of self development/self actualizing, etc. but part of me can't help but feel like it's a rather lonely road at times. Any advice for someone who's going through this bit? (I hope I posted in the right forum)