Not a shaolin monk

is this a koan like is not because i am not real that there is not an I seeing it but because i am nothing?. Thats what my experience tell me but i dont feel like the objects or phenomena are made of me but they happen somehow at the same place where i am but are not me

@Azrael So its freedom is not personal is more close to a mechanical type of freedom, freely to do. It chooses everything even suffering itself in a kind of a super-conscious way, meaning that consciousness doesnt give a fuck about feeling great. I just found out that mind is not agree with consciouness, but wait even a confused mind is a super conscious chose. I am kind of crazy

Fuck Im out. is not this free will?

i want to be clear about if years of self enquiry can lead to a similar breakthrough like in 5Meo or is just completely different in degree?

@cetus56 @Annetta you are right. maybe the only that can be an obstacle on this matter is a dependence or addiction of that kind of activities

can having weirds sexual fetishes that you may or not regret delay spiritual progress?

This nothing is absolute infinity? or is just like the conventional mind understand nothing?

@Leo Gura i thought it was both subjective and objective

"I" am aware that in my current experience of reality there is not such thing as my brain only as a concept and if i see the brain of other person that would be the image of a brain in my visual field but i wouldnt be experiencing that brain. but i understand that i have a brain because i have a head obviously. i understand that if someone cuts me off a part of the brain that process the visual field i wont see anymore however that only change the content of my awareness. now lets say thay someone stabs my brain and it dies. now i understand (dont "know" because im alive) that the only thing that would remain will be pure conciousness ok until now. now this is my doubt i know that i have a wall behind my back and if i stop seeing it would stop existing for me. but obviously the wall wont disappear. now this is my question is the wall enlightened because has not a brain therefore it would be like pure conciousness or if i die the wall will be a part of me?

@Not a shaolin monkWe do not perceive a world outside Consciousness. The world is our perception of the world. There is no evidence that there is a world outside the perception of it, outside Consciousness. The seen cannot be separated from seeing and seeing cannot be separated from Consciousness. A solid object cannot appear in Consciousness any more than a solid object can appear in thought. Only an object that is made out of matter could appear in space. Only an object that is made out of mind could appear in mind. And only an object that is made out of Consciousness can appear in Consciousness. And as everything ultimately appears in Consciousness, everything is, in the ultimate analysis, made out of Consciousness. Rupert Spira.

@Sean Johnson but where is nothing happening? if i touch a wall something will happen that will be sensing

@Sean Johnson i will be Hallucinating a wall in a human brain repeatedly. so what?

@Leo Gura ok the wall cant be enlightened because has not ego.but my real question is in which reality the wall exist?

@Joseph Maynor ok but the wall never disappear but just only for my pov. is there a reality in which the wall exist but what would be that reality absolute infinity, the awareness of a wall or other reality but is the wall cant be concious wont be part of absolute infinity because absolute infinity is conciousness?

Check this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xlcz5hMHPXw

Free to do but not free will

If everything that "i" think and act is determined why even try to plan something if whether "i" succeed or not is determined. do i have to just observe what the cosmo has prepared for me?

@Joseph Maynor But if i try to feed my mind with certain knowledge. would not be like planning again?. if awareness raise will plans succeed with accuracy or i will stop planning because is pointless

@Prabhaker what do you mean by psychologically? My behavior ?. but if my behavior is required to change to achieve a plan then i cant do it

@Dizzy Thanks i just want to get deeper into this

i started the day with a kind of good feeling, a cloudy day. now to make this short. i was in a bus getting back to home after college. and this good feeling increased then i remembered a series of moojie videos about divine laughter and similars i was paying closer attention to what the guru said just before the person burst out laughing and this line get in my head "you are the answer to what your looking how much distance exist to reach yourself" . getting back to the bus i begin to self enquiry and this good and calm feeling (i think is bliss) increased and i was not able to point something and called "I" then a brief moment of pure concentration pure awareness that last like 5 seconds and i just was very very aware of the present and the fact there was not person in here. now the why i ask this question is because i didn´t burst in laught or crying or 1000 orgasm to be honest i was hoping 10 orgasm and not realization like i am god came, just the clear perception there is no one here in my current experience.

when you find out that you dont exist what else do you find out?

when you said it's outside time i imagine that has to be like a suspension of my current experience

why you said is an experience beyond all experience?