barry

I don't know where you are from guys... but here in italy we use the word "sgarro", that is almost a slang word to say "cheating", when people cheat on their diet. In the italian fitness community, and even going to the gym, I see so many people that always talk about "cheating on diet". People that ask to the each other "how many times per month do you cheat?" or "when I cheat on diet I eat this..."... I don't know why... but I never cheat on diet, people ask me "how can you avoid cheating on diet? how do you do it?"... and I never found an answer because, it is so easy for me to never cheat on diet, it's like the minimun thing I have to do, it's actually hard instead do cheating... So I wanted to ask you 2 question 1- Can you relate to this? 2- If you do relate, do you think that self-actualizers have that little bit of willpower already developed by doing harder things, like meditating, nofap, pickup, spiritual work or whatever, that allows to never ever cheat on diet?

Following up with my LP, learning to deal with my emotions, working on my subconscious, meditating and doing other stuff... I get sometimes some creepy feelings, some weird and freaky sensations... some days a go I spent a whole day crying because I realized that in 4-5 of journalling my emotions down, I was the only guilty of the way I felt during all that time, I realize just now how "lazy" I was (and I am)... not only that but I even feel discouraged because I realize I can litterally create anything I want, and I realize the addiction I had to some behaviour that created experiences and emotion to which I was attached... and that's actually the scariest part, I actually feel freaked, terrified, sometimes, when I feel like I can stare into the matrix, and do whatever I want, almost as I had too much power for me, like I wasn't able to hande it. The creepiest thing I feel sometimes is that nothing in this world look like has a purpose or a sense: things, people, and me just "exist", and are not there for anything else, and at the same time it even feels like sometimes that what I see and hear and feel, doesn't actually exists, I just create it... 1- is this healthy? 2- can you relate? 3- what can I do to overcome this fear? I didn't post this on "serious emotional problem" because it is not serious... I can endure this

I strongly believe that the best way to cope and deal with a break up and begin to thrive again is learning to be single, to get a strong personality, to get rock solid on your own, to stand for yourself... I already did this a break up a go, because the last one is my second one, but this time I really want to take it seriously, and get a supercharge in my life by doing this again (instead of getting involved with too much pick up, that i don't think is very healthy for me right now)... so I decided to write this post to see who can give me some advice. I would like to know what book can you reccomand me to read about "being rock solid as single", or something like that... I think to purchase "the way of the superior man". Do you have any other you think is good? You can even give me any other advice you like, maybe even about different sources. Thank you

@Mondsee You are a woman, so is pretty common to you to get asked for your number, if it happens to you many times it might even be because you are very hot and sexy... But I can relate to your behaviour and I understand it, because I did what you do as a guy in the past with girls, and I have many female friends (and ex gf) that did and still do the same thing that you do. And the common aspect that all these people had (me included) was a low self-esteem issue. You give your number even to people you don't like because you seek for approval, consciously or unconsciously, you are insecure about your looks and your body. The fact that "you don't know how to reject" tells us pretty clearly how you are addicted to manipulation to get approval from others. Because if you were actually self confident, you would not have any regret about rejecting or flaking guys, guys are used to be rejected and flaked indeed. 1st thing you have to do is work on your self image, go to a therapist if you need to, even if it might be expansive 2nd thing you have to do is work on your awareness about manipulation and low self esteem. Notice the fact that you love when people tell you that you are sexy and good looking, and notice how you are looking for anything else than compliments, attention from people and most of all approval 3rd thing you have to do is try to overcome other addictions, even though it might sound not relevant, is actually very relevant, if you drink, if you smoke, if you are addicted to parties, movies and most of all TV Series (this can be huge, especially in LSE girls), or any other thing that provides you with drama and love stories and all that stuff. Cut those things out! overcoming those addiction will make you feel more aware, you will begin to clean up your life more and more, and finally overcome any kind of addictive behaviour you have, that causes you suffering. There are many other things you will have to do to fix this, but start from there. And I can relate because I struggled with that issue a lot too, and just in the last 6 or 7 months of my life I feel like I am moving on from that place. When you free yourself from any of your needs, needs from approval and safety and sex and companionship, you will feel grounded, you will feel like you don't need anything else than YOU in your life, because you can get joy and satisfaction just from growth and you don't need any kind of stimulation or external condition to make you feel good And finally you will not give to anymore your number to people you don't like

Hello, I am doing sometime once in a while, a strong determination sitting, 1 hour long. Some days I do it even twice a day. After I meditate for that hour, I feel actually very weird for at least 10-15 minutes, it doesn't happen on my regular meditation schedule of daily 15 minutes, but it does when I meditate usually I think, more than 40 minutes. What happens in those weird 10-15 minutes is that I feel completely deprived of thought, I litterally can't think of anything, can't bother of anything, and I don't even feel the need of doing anything, i feel just like I want to go back to meditation, sometimes I even did that, I got back to meditation, the first times it happened, I began to turn on the pc, play videogames, read book, do something, but after the third or fourth time I began to just lay on my bed, and watch the roof, and do nothing, because I felt like "I don't need nothing, except myself, and meditation", I can still remember that feeling in my body, I can collocate that In my forehead, and that's weird... Can you relate to this? Is this ok? Do you have any advice about what to do after meditation? (like after you workout in the gym you go to eat proteins )

Thank you all for the answers I'll keep practicing

@Shilpa @dekoi try to push through the dip guys. Once I used to struggle with the same issue, the solution I found was to expand my comfort zone in different directions with the pace and intensity I thought I could handle, try to go to do simple things, try to see motivation in small results you get. Let's say "I am going to do X today", you do X, and after you do it you have to look at what you have "accomplished" and feel greatful for stepping your first step of the hero's journey! This way you will get motivated by the small results that you see everyday in your life and you will want more!

Take your time and go to do a lot of different activities

I thank you all for the advices, I am following them. 1- I am going out at night interacting with strangers, doing cold approach, without looking for sex or relationship, I am working on my social skills. 2- I try to meditate more and better, and less often during the day. 3- Actually my LP is to become personal trainer and make people loose weight, gain muscles, put a gym together, and train hardcases to get a vibrant look and be more confident by doing this... so I get pleny of phisical excercise Thank you for all the advices

Hello self help junkies. As many of you maybe already know... I broke up with my ex 7 months a go... The problem I face is that I keep dreaming about her some nights, and the nights I don't dream about her, I dream about having sex with another girl... I don't hide the fact that most of the time during the day, unless I don't meditate 10 minutes any 2 hours to calm my mind, I sometimes go crazy about the thought "I am not longer with her", even though I wanted the break up... So... I feel pretty confused... and I have many question for anybody that would like to help me... 1- Should I go on a pick up journey? try to get a new gf? or to have sex with other girls? I honestly feel kind of weird about the idea of "doing pickup", don't get me wrong, I would love to learn the skills to approach a girl and get to know her in the middle of the street... but it even feels like weird, manipulative, or unhealthy 2- How do I learn, what sources should I need, what books, what "personal development techniques" should I use to get better and move on? I found my LP, I am working on it every single day, and it makes me feel good, I meditate more or less 30 minutes per day spread during the day, to calm my mind down, but I still feel I have to do more inner work, and focus more, I tryed using affirmations but I didn't like it much.... 3- How do I drop the desire of sex? I feel that this is huge... I feel I need to drop it, What do I do? I have to reprogram my subconscious? (I own the book psycho-cybernetics) I am on nofap 4- Any other advice?

I love this forum because of the passion and dedication I see in most of the people here

I don't want to be judgmental or bad toward anybody here. But I suggest you to just cut out all this media stuff

@Shan What kind of business are you running?

@Moreira I can relate to that, I even did that... in 2015 I had a very bad break up, and in 3 months I recovered and I even managed to build aboundance and get another girlfriend, but 6 months a go we broke up... I litterally tried to do the same things I did during the previous break up recovery time, like it was a ritual to "make it happen again"... but the thing is... I was running away from pain, and from hard work, thinking that trying again to get a new GF was going to make me feel good, the fact is that I was spending all the time thinking about my ex, and hoping to getting to know a new one in any situation I was in, I even did some pickup, both nightgame and daygame... But the reality is... you have to live in the present moment, and first of all get serious about your personal development... buy some books, cut out some bad habbits, go on nofap or whatever... but the thing that 3 months a go I began to do was getting serious about personal development, just from there I began to feel better... I think the key is: START INVESTING INTO YOURSELF

@AceTrainerGreen I had your same issue when I discovered about actualized.org back in 2015. And I finished to watch all his video just 1 or 2 months a go, and still I think I have to look at them (and I still do)... Begin looking at the videos about the topics you feel are most important for you, rather watch the same video twice or 3 times, or even more, to "drill the contenent into your subconscious mind", instead of trying to look at all the videos and don't get anything from them... Even though is important, don't rush to meditation, if you are still new and skeptical about spirituality and personal development, meditation will come on his own... begin with nofap, then begin cutting out other bad habbits, maybe drinking or eating bad food, at one point you will begin to ask yourself "why don't I implement even some good habbits?", meditation will come, maybe affirmations, maybe gym will come... The process of self development is slow... if you are young you feel always like you are in rush, I can relate to that, because I struggle with hurry too... You will find that you will improve in any area of your life, your consciousness will rise... but that's a process, and it HAS to be slow... so don't rush it, and watch all the videos you can, but don't rush it, get the juice out of them

Hello... I am 20, I am going to turn 21 on july... I don't know why I am posting this, but I feel like I need some comparison with other guys out there... and I also need emotional support... The first thing I would like to say is that I am in personal development since I was 16. I am italian and I don't know if you know what is going on here in the schools, but actually nobody speaks english, and one of the first and most important goals to achieve for italians in the personal development scene is learning english, maybe you don't understand this, but being able to have the access to all the material, all the forums, all the videos (even actualized.org itself) is something huge, something that other people can't even imagine... this is also maybe the reason why I am posting this, I mean, nobody actually here knows about Leo, Personal Development, Meditation, Pick up, and all this stuff, this makes me feel alone... and most of all I feel like, I am giving myself too much a hard time, like I was taking personal development too seriously, I sometimes think that I am too hard on myself. What I want to say is that, I feel "young" in all this... I really feel like I am taking this path on a so early age, that I don't even know how could be my life if I didn't go through this process or I didn't take on this endovour... I will give you some examples trying to explain me better... I found my life purpose, through the course, I am working on it, and I see how the people around me, my friends most of all, don't even imagine, cannot even barely get, what life purpose means. I was into judo, swimming, table tennis once, and now I am in bodybuilding and strenght training, my brother was in gymnastic and now he is in calistenichs, and when I talk to him about opening a gym, becoming trainers, he always say "yes I want to do it, I will follow you, lets do it", but he is studying graphics, because our dad told him to do it, and he put my brother on it... Now I am working very hard on my LP, I am studying to get admitted into the right university course to follow my LP, and I gave up on industrial chemestry course that my dad put me on... and here's my question... Is it normal to feel emotionally fatigued sometimes, even though your are going for your LP? I see my friends, and the people around me, that don't meditate, they don't practice emotional development, they don't have emotional mastery, and the are all so much reactive, they seem like asleep, or seem like they don't even know what they are doing... they didn't study history and phylosophy in high schools, some of them didn't even go to high schools, they jumped on work as soon as they could... And now that I am doing what I do, that I am studying, I see all them and they seem so ignorant, but not only that, they seem asleep, they seem like animals, it looks like they are not self aware, it seems they are responding to some instinct.. they drink, they smoke, they don't have a LP, just one of my friend has a LP, some of them instead gave up school, gave up studies, they seem unhappy, but they it seems they don't know it, or they are not able to experience it, to notice it, because they are "asleep"... sometimes I think if I fell uncoscious, that looks like so horrible... and the question I have for you is... does it happen even to you? Is it ok to have thoose friends? What about relationship? I had my girlfriends, but now I am single since 6 months, I don't really think that I am super dooper willing to go on a pick up journey to find another girl, actually I believe I have other things now to do, even though, I miss my ex, I really do, I still cry sometimes, but she was on severe hardcore psyche medications, she had clincal depression, and she was diagnosticated with a personality disorder, and I broke up with her because these are red flags, from the video about "relationship red flags", I really love that video, it makes me feel I did the right thing... and now I feel like I miss her, but I see also my friends, that are in misirable relationship, all marked by some of the red flags mentioned in the video, and all of them are wasting so much of their emotional energy in those relationship... I miss her now... but I know I had to do it... 6 months are passed, sometimes I still dream about her... Did I do the right thing? I miss her... but I see in the future, something like a divorce, or something very bad, like I had to pay for her medications, or she would have broke up with me because of the pills she takes, I didn't feel like I was with a normal girl... Did I do the right thing? Furthermore on this point... do you think I am too young to bother me with this thing of relationship? I had sex, I had relationships, but now, do you think I have to go on a pick up journey, or do you think I have to put energy into building myself? I personally dont know what to do... right now I don't feel the urge for another girl

I am beginning now to use affirmations, actually since 2 days a go. The goals I set and I want to achieve from affirmations are the following: 1- Feeling whole and complete as single, without sex or relationships 2- To free myself from oneitis about my last ex 3- Feeling confident about finding another girl 4- Free myself from the feeling of being late about finding a life partner And the affirmations I use are the following (forgive me if are not grammatically correct, I am italian, obviously we have a translated version of them) 1- I feel great when I am single 2- I feel great without being in a relationship 3- She was not the right girl for me 4- I am now free to approach girls and find a better girl without needing her 5- Now I found my LP, and I can find fulfillment by following it 6- Now the world is full of new opportunities, I am young and I can seize them 7- I am young, if I invest in myself now, if I grow myself now, I can get an awesome life 8- I know pain is necessary to grow 9- I love to feel the pain of growth, and I don't run away from it 10- I don't need sex to feel good, I am fighting my addiction 11- She would have screwed up my life 12- I will find the right girl when it is the right time 13- I love my life, I don't want to screw it up because of fucked up girl, I now on my purpose and I don't need anything else 14- She was not going to lead me to a good place 15- I just need to work on my aboundance 16- If I work on myself, I will feel awesome again I actually come from a break up that happened 6 months a go, I don't feel 100% recovered yet, maybe it is because I never took my recovery seriously, thing that now I want to do. I feel I need a complete review of my paradigms: I need a Life Purpose, I don't need a girlfriend. I found my Life Purpose after the break up taking the LP course, I am working at it, that would be to become a personal trainer, to open a gym with my brother, that wants to do the same thing, and when I work on it I something magical happens, the whole world outside totally disappear, and I feel like one thing. I recognize my ex had something like 10 of the red flags that Leo talked about in his video about relationship red flags (the biggest one "psyche medication", that I recognize are something that actually destroy relationships, I even recognize how unhealthy our relationship was because of them), and I feel guilty because I didn't broke up with her when it was the right time (it means when she began to take medications for clinical depression and personality disorder) and I feel I actually wasted a lot of time and emotional energy into her, this makes me feel so much frustrated, and I want to make myself know that I am just 20, and I didn't lose actually anything, furthermore, I gained much finding out my LP and putting myself on a path to defeat my fears and reaching out by myself, just relying on myself. I want to use theese affirmations to do this. Please help me to figure out if these affirmations are maybe too many, if are they good, I am repeating them before to go to sleep and when I wake up, I feel them very good, and restoring. Let me know what do you think about them, and what should I do now with my life to recover better, if you have any advice Thank You

shouldn't affirmations be very specific? Even visualiazitions

I don't know if is it legit to post something like this... but i really need help here guys... because I feel actually drained, and fatigued... a lot actually. I am in self help since I was 15... but i began to take it seriously just 1 year a go... I live in italy, and now I am 20... The biggest obstacle in my life are my parents, that prevent me to fully pursue personal development, I don't know if somebody can help in this, or this post has just to be a an emotional outburst or something like that... When I want to meditate, I always get interrupted by my mother that sees that I am doing that, and she asks me to do something for her, she calls me out and she asks me "Lorenzo go do this and go do that"... and often she tells me that I have to stop doing that because I am wasting my time... what can I do? My mother also sneaks in my room when I am outside to check everything, she even used to take my phone and read my chats, therefore, my computer and any other eletronic gadget is lock up with a password, anything I write in my room is written in english and with a very bad handwriting to ensure that she doesn't read what I journal and write about... I feel oppresed and observed all the time... When I watch video from actualized.org my parent asks me what I am doing, what the videos are about, when I try to explain them they tell me to stop looking at them, because they influence me... S*** of course I want to be influenced by actualized.org... I discovered my life purpose, using the course (that I purchased with my savings), which is to become a personal trainer, master nutrition and training, open a gym with my brother, who wants to do the same thing too, and apply personal development plans, creating like a "gym & personal development dojo"... then what.... to my dad that is ok... next year I am going to study "scienze motorie" at Bologna University, which means "science of motion", "fitness" in simple words... after i lost a whole year studing Industrial Chemistry, that my dad wanted me to study, but I hated with my whole heart... And now, if I spend my time reading book about nutrition, about training, my mother complains "you are not doing anything in life, all your life is about food and gym"... How can I explain her that I am going to study THAT... Last but not least, my parents had a very tough time when I was 11... my mother cheated on my dad for a year, I knew that, but I didn't do anything, my dad caughted her, they nearly divorced, and for 1 or 2 years at home was very difficult... that costed me to become over insucure about myself, and I think I have a very serious emotional trauma... that led me in personal development, so I have even to thank my mom for that... but know I am still depressed for a break up that I had 6 months a go with my ex, I feel I am super needy, and I am fighting that doing (obviously secretly) cold approach pickup, I need a therapist, but my parents don't support me, furthermore they clearly say that I don't need a therapist... I feel haunted... I can't let go... I could keep talking about how my parents regularly go to sabotate anything I do about personal development, telling me that is useless, is a waste of time, or that is even ruining my life... I don't know what to do... I watch videos from leo all the time... because they give me hope, and i think "if I keep fighting, if I keep pushing, I can make it", but really feel oppresed, I feel like i am in a cage... I don't know if is it legit to post anything like this... this is more an emotional outburst than something else...

I want to do strong determination sittings... I can't do it if any 10 minutes there is something that I have to do for my mom

Hello self help friends I am italian, and I am 20, so I live with my parents. I want to begin to use affirmations, but I don't know what language use to say them, if I can say them in english (language i don't have struggle to speak, even though my writing could be pretty bad and uncorrect for native speakers), and I don't know where to say them, I don't know if it is ok to say them when I am driving (that I do daily), or if would be better to say them in front of a mirror. I would prefer to say them in english (so that my parents don't understand me)... I'll talk about my parents in another topic, just to know if somebody know how to deal with them

Hi advanced meditators I began to meditate just since a week a go... and i am doing that for 20 minutes per day... I am 20 and I began to do that due to a bad break up of my long term relationship... meditation is actually saving my life I think... the problem is that I love to meditate because I find that feeling present, conscious and aware is great and incredibly funny, and i would like to do that more than just 20 minutes per day... Here my questions: 1- Can I meditate twice per day, or even more? I mean, I would like to go for my 20 minutes meditation routine at the same hour of the day every day, plus some random meditation session throughout the day when I find time 2- Can I go already for a 30 minutes routine? Meditation is the coolest thing ever Thank You guys