Sarah Marie

@scratchdisk "The Baby Effect" happened to me. After I had my child I grew 20x faster. I do think Leo answered this question in the sun forum "Questions For Leo" where he said he wasn't sure.

Ironically enough, I never even decided to leave I was trying to figure it out when he requested the space. Two weeks ago he told me he was the happiest he's ever been. Then he woke up one day and was angry at me and the world. He's been angry ever sense.

@Dhana Choko I understand, I have never done this. Thanks.

@Lynnel This is probably the case. Not sure I know how to handle it other than cry anyways.

@DJ I pray it gets easier. I feel like I am trying to surrender to the situation but am still sitting here crying. @Dhana Choko I am going to look for that video. I feel like when I can make sense of something it doesn't hurt as bad.

People completely blow my mind. I have been working on myself for years. I finally got to a place where I am genuinely happy and focused only to have those around me talk about their "concern" for me. At first I took their concerns seriously, then I went to my therapist (who I've seen on and off for years) and she pretty much told me that misery loves company. All the choices I make are healthy, I have been eating more plant based meals (all my friends and family eat the American Diet), I have cut out social media, I don't watch hardly any TV, I read a lot more, I am going to life coaching school, and I started going on hikes/outside more. My friend told me I was being manic. My husband decided he was going to bring up every fuck up since 2008 and get upset with me because apparently he "repressed" his emotions (for 8 damn years). I lost a lot of weight and now I'm "too skinny" according to family. It is completely blowing my mind that the second I finally am happy completely focused on me this happens. Then they all get pissed when I say I am happy doing these things. I can admit things I used to think we're a big deal aren't anymore, I don't really hold as tight grip on my old beliefs. I realize I have changed. I just don't get it, I have deliberately worked to change each one of these behaviors using visualization, affirmations, etc. I am so thankful for this Forum because I have never felt more dissconnected from those who are around me. They don't understand when I say I'm not going to revert back, I just feel like that's impossible with all this stuff I know now. Has this happened to anyone else?

@DJ @Leo Gura I agree. This is what I've been doing so far. I do lead by example. I do however have some rules such as not eating candy at 8:30 and night with his father. It makes bed time a bitch. He and I are currently split up, I struggle so hard with the idea of only seeing my son 50% of the time. The rest is easier, I've known what I needed to work on (and have been working on it) for a long time, I know what went wrong and I know what I need to do to become the best version of myself now. Thank you for saying that it was the best choice for your girls. I'm loosing sleep thinking about my son.

Sorry it took me so long to respond, been one hell of a day. This is something I've been thinking of as well. Up until this forum I felt very strongly that I might be interested in an open marriage or a poly situation. Then, someone mentioned my ego, which could possibly be the cause instead of my inner awareness like I thought. I've been thinking and completely honest with myself and I feel the same as you. IF I had every emotional, sexual, physical need met through one partner then I wouldn't be interested in an open marriage or poly. Up until this forum I didn't realize it was possible to have one person fulfill a relationship. Now, if this was a core value of someone I truly loved and wanted to be with I think I could learn be open to it again. For me though, if it were to happen that my partner wanted this I would have to be at a certain point in the relationship. I don't know what true love is in a realtionship. The only person I have loved unconditionally is my son. I do feel with the right person I would also love them unconditionally.

@Avi @Fer Lazo I just switched around my schedule so I can fly down and see this. I am SO excited!

@Leo Gura Plus, if you ever decide it you're going to be an awesome dad.

@Leo Gura Thank you I think I have he clarity I needed.

@Mohsinuddin I usually like to talk it out if we are both calm and communicating like adults. If I start to feel a rise coming within I walk away and try again later.

@Emerald Wilkins Good point. I do think it's possible to make it work, my husband normally gives me space to be me, but naturally as I develop we feel a shift. I have the same problem. I do feel I enjoy my son in the moment, but my number one priority is self-actualization. Which is different from every other mother I've ever met up until this Forum! @Ayla I will check that book out!

@Emerald Wilkins Thus far, this has been my approach as well. It seems easy once you're in a more limiting position to think "man, it's so easy for them to just drop it and go." But before I put myself in this position I had NO idea. I am 25 and my son is 2. So, I'll be an early empty nester too.

@Pinocchio I'm getting this book now, exactly what I was looking for. Thank you!

@d1ajax You're right, I was raised with these norms and have never felt I fit in. I've always felt different. Thank you.

@8LanguageStud Last week, a guy came up while I was doing squats and said, "Your ass is the nicest I've ever seen." While I don't have advice on what to say, don't say that. LOL. It was weird for me, then he continued to watch me finish. WEIRD.

@8LanguageStud HAHA, well I guess I got my answer of why they always talk to me there.

@Sunshine I've been diagnosed as a co dependent before, mine is slightly different than the love codependency but I would say no. The boundaries are already not there.

@FindingPeace I hear your struggle SO WELL. I can't say I have a good answer, but I can testify to the fact that my son and husbands are distractions to my self-actualization. I'm fighting to find a balance, but stopping my journey is something I will not sacrafice by any means, even if that means getting a divorce.

@8LanguageStud whenever a guy hits on me at the gym I am either barely breathing or sweating like a pig. I never did understand why they like to chat at the gym, maybe try to catch them on the way out?

@Brian Greendahl Consider seeing a medium, I can physically see the pain leave people's bodies when I give them readings. Sending love your way, this is hard. Edit: I will start a separate thread to discuss if needed, I don't want to break the rules of video requests.

@Algi Same here. I have one or two people I chat with online that are into personal development, aside from that Leo's videos were the only thing I had.

@Algi Nope, I work from home so unless I'm meeting with a client I don't socialize.

@Algi Yep, I struggle with the lonely feelings too. But then I think about how much more lonely I feel when I'm around people who don't get me and I feel happier alone. I understand the heartbreak too. Hang in there, you're not alone feeling like this.