Sarah Marie

I have recently started to really get interested in understanding the psychology behind relationship. I'd love to hear any suggestions you may have for books that can educate me on this.

Thank you!

@Steven I don't believe this. There totally is, relationships don't just happen unless you're whole by yourself first. How about understanding the way a male thinks vs. a female? This is what I am talking about.

@Samir I can totally see what you're saying here. For me that isn't an issue and it might be a difference in sex drive or the fact that I am married. But I would have to watch myself if I felt me slipping into an addiction, specially because I have a very addictive personality.

I drink a raw green organic smoothy every morning. I feel amazing and it keeps me fill for awhile!

@100rockets She also used EFT with me which helped a ton!

@100rockets The only thing that helped me heal from my past truama was seeing a psychologist who specialized in psychotherapy. We were able to go back and relive, accept, and release the trauma. It was so painful but I can tell you now I feel so free, it's worth it.

@xsilo These are huge red flags. I'd suggest getting out, you owe no one an explanation.

How do I know when I am making a choice out of fear vs what I actually want? I know I am the only one who can decide what's best for me, but what questions should I be asking myself to help me figure out what I actually want vs what I'm doing out of fear?

@A way to Actualize this is extremely helpful thank you!

But how do you accomplish anything here? Just say you have no free will and surrender? In theory I understand. How to live that I don't understand. Im so tired of not knowing who I am or what construction I am. It's like I know Im living a false reality, I know emotions are from ego, I know all these things. I don't know how to live these things and not make life choices. They say to stay authentic to yourself and who you are. I try but I still don't know who I am, when I get to trying to really figure it out I think, I am actually no one anyways I am just a bunch of nothingness. How do I find "I" if "I" don't even exsist.

@Ayla perfect, this is my method. Sit and just sit.

I am trying to follow you. I am, I feel like I understand what you're saying but translating it into the shit I need to get done is hard. I don't exsist I have non exsisting emotions I'm living a fake reality I get it, but how do I translate this into my day to day? I, whatever or whoever I am has to raise a son. So even if he and I don't exist as I see it, I have to make some sort of choice.

@Jay Brown Greater cause of society and the world? Or my son and family? I am sure the world would benefit more if I leave my husband, go into the woods and study until I master my natural talents to make a difference. But my son would suffer, that may be a greater cause. I guess it depends on my values right? I know exactly what my values are. The first is Self-actualization and the second is family.

@Argue How do I tell the difference between comfort and pleasure?

This is super helpful thank you.

@TheFrown Thanks. Right now I am kind of just waiting until I get some clarity and can think about everything that I need too before making a harder choice. I know Leo says always go with the most painful choice, but either choice is painful in different ways.

@mathewrockz That's the problem I can't identify what's my ego, heart, right, wrong.

@ZenTwizzle The people that hoped me the most were: Psychologist (they have to have their PHD) Mediums who let me mentor them Taking classes on energy like reiki and grounding Educating myself by reading books The key to being an empath is learning how to set boundaries and protections. The problem is a lot of people get airy fairy on you and start talking about a bunch of new age hippie shit. I am a very scientific minded person so when my therapist told me this was what I was I thought he was mis diagnosing me. Being an empath is not totally understood and many people will make you feel crazy but keep an open mind and learn protection and grounding.

@ZenTwizzle I am an empath and medium. I took me lots of therapy and help to come to terms with this and learn to control it. I used to feel like I was on a roller coaster. Learn grounding and meditation. Also try to figure out the difference between your feelings and others. I also can't tell you how many times I just "know" things like my friends being pregnant. I will look at them and just know, it is very strange.

@Argue yes, I would 100% want him to have my son a lot too. He isn't a shitty dad he's a really great dad and I know my son needs his time with him as well. As far as free time. I did think of it like that last night, I would do all the personal development my little heart desires. Silent retreats anyone?

I Just saw this. To sum it up, he just woke up one day angry and told me he resents me for my past. (I used to be a clingy needy bitch) that was probably 5 years ago now. I'm a totally different person now and have been for now more than half our relationship. Not sure how someone represses shit for this long and then just snaps. IMO, he is still frustrated with things I do now. He finds it frustrating I strive for complete independence and am constantly changing. He very much likes stability and the exact same things everyday. I'm wishy washy and like to see how I feel every morning and then decide what order I'm going to accomplish my goals for the day. He freaks if our sugar jar isn't labeled "sugar". While I understand I could be more grounded, it's just how I am. Sometimes my body is telling me to slow down so I do, sometimes I want to stay up late to work so I do. It's irritating to him that I don't do things in order and when "they're supposed to happen"

@Phocus He did message me last night and ask if we could go to counseling. I 110% am willing and happy to try that. I know it's not all him, I'm very conscious who I am both good and bad. I am trying to work out the kinks (for example, I seriously SERIOUSLY need to work on being okay with the fact that he is not into personal development and he is very set in his ways). I have changed into a completely different person and he says that all the time. Things that used to be big deals to me aren't, I eat healthy, I don't want TV, I mediate, I feel happier alone rather than depending on him etc. He says he is uncomfortable with this change.

@Phocus Thank you, see I already am on that path. If I were single I wouldn't be dating. I would 110% throw everything into personal development the same as I do married. See, I know my flaws, I know exactly what I'm working out and working on. I have been doing this for a long long long time. I continue to look at myself and see how I can become more independent and live to my full potiental. I know exactly my part in the falling of this relationship, too. So, I feel like I can 110% get to a place where the issues that I am responsible for will be resolved (most are). I've been through therapy for the better half of the past 10 years. I have told my husband this, that I understand exactly what kinks I need to work out and I even showed him proof of me working through them even before he brought this up. He describes it to me as him feeling lost and not knowing if he "can love me". The things he is angry about happened before I started my journey to self love. So he's had a good 5+ years of the adult me who has changed rapidly. When I explain my behaviors from the past (I used to be a female who would yell and freak out, this was 5 years ago though) I tell him how my therapist taught me how to communicate, how I had childhood trauma that I had to work through before I could understand who I am.@Phocus

@Water Nope, hadn't even mentioned anything yet.