legendary

The trip was quite profound and challenging for me. Pre-Trip: I meditated for 30 minutes and then contemplated about the differences between the Masculine and Feminine characteristics and traits. Trip: After taking LSD, I continued to contemplate and think. However, as soon as the effects started to take over, I was taken over by a sudden urge to strip naked and masturbate. Martin Ball has written about this, and he advocates that that one should let these things play out. So I proceeded to do that. However, in the midst of doing so, I became acutely aware of how my entire life, I've been running away (through tasks, hobbies, addictions, distractions) from being present and facing the emptiness of existence. No wonder, I keep looking for happiness elsewhere. I lost all desire to masturbate and every moment became painful, to such an extent that I didn't want to live any longer. The ego's defences were down, and I quickly went inside my bathroom, switched all the lights off and sat in complete darkness and silence, and started contemplating: Who am I? Why have I been trying to escape the present moment my whole life? I was afraid, and the silence and darkness added to it. It was clear that the fear was a product of my projections and that I was still not letting go. And once I did, it became blindingly obvious that it is all Absolutely Nothing! I have been looking for this realisation, and at the same time have been running away from it, which has caused me a lot of pain. With this insight still fresh and crystal clear, I came out to my bedroom and started meditating while resting on my bed. Because the ego was weak and fully surrendered, I had died, without even realising it. I started to laugh and cry (I'm still not sure how that happened, but it was literally laughter mixed with sobbing). This Nothingness was Absolute, groundless, ungraspable and completely imperturbable. All the things I have read and heard about sexuality came back into my mind. How the epitome of masculinity is Shiva- consciousness itself. From there, a number of things that I have read and seen about sexuality came back to me. Insights: Everything that we see and perceive is couched within Nothingness/Consciousness. And we all have Masculine and Feminine in us. Thus, every moment of existence is a play of the Divine Masculine (Shiva) and the Divine Feminine (Shakti). Life is a product of this Divine Love making. The black and white Duality of Man and Woman is merely simplistic thinking. David Deida once said that Life and existence itself is a Woman (with a capital W). And just like a feminine partner, life will shit test you. So long as one is identified with Absolute Nothingness, no challenge (including death itself) can scare you away. She (Life) will make love to you until the end of time, but She will also chop your head off as soon as you lose consciousness. Every time I become sad/hurt/angry, that's equivalent to failing one of life's tests. Being inauthentic hurts more than anything else. Authenticity = Death = Immortality = Imperturbability. When you are aware of the fact that death is an illusion, and so is any concept of separation, you will naturally let things unfold without becoming unconscious and neurotic. From this authenticity, one can live their true Life Purpose: In their career as well as their social life. This life purpose isn't just limited to 40-50 hours of work every week. The way we spend our money, the way we treat others, the energy we put out into the world, are all our creation. A truly authentic life means you can live every single day, knowing that you are Nothingness, and that no failure/loss can cause you to abandon your purpose. Radical openness = Selflessness. Only by being completely selfless, can one truly contribute to Absolute Goodness. And of course, this id paradoxical, since it is clear that nothing is in your control. Yet, there can be complete surrender and consciousness at the same time (like an erection, firm but relaxed). With an experiential understanding of Nonduality, one knows that claiming ownership of your achievements/possessions is futile, which then allows you to live life as a spontaneous unfolding of love and play. This is how one makes love to life. As David Deida wrote, 'Stop hoping for a completion of anything in life'. Which is a great pointer. Peter Ralston also wrote about this in 'The Book of Not Knowing'. I have a long way to go in this journey. A big chapter in my life is coming to an end soon, and it became clear to me what the next chapter ought to be. The key is to balance being s strategic motherfucker and surrendering to the Divine Will. Psychedelics are the best Teachers. No human teacher could have allowed me to have a direct consciousness of all this in one day.

@Sauvik awesome. Direct experience definitely recontextualizes everything. But it takes persistence and skill to stabilize this realization. I'm nowhere close to it, so it's good to keep chipping away at it.

I personally find it very interesting to contemplate about masculinity and femininity. And outside of serious spiritual work, no other area of life comes close to intimate relationships in terms of personal development.

Thanos has 'infinity' stones, but still wanted to destroy half of all sentient life in the Universe, because he was convinced that there aren't enough resources to go around. What an irony!

This high consciousness-low consciousness duality must be transcended!

Leo makes love to Absolute Truth. No woman will be enough for him now

An in-depth episode/series about the different facets of the Absolute, which have been showing up with capital letters in recent episodes, such as: Good Love Divine Will Creation Meaninglessness Life Immortality, etc.

Not IQ necessarily. There are multiple categories of intelligence. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_multiple_intelligences If you really like the metaphysical topics that Leo covers, you probably have high 'existential intelligence'. But different people tend to prioritize different things in their lives. It's not that we're more intelligent than others. To some Rhode Scholar at MIT, actualized.org might seem baloney.

Happy birthday Leo! Thanks for your work and for being a great role model for us

Four sections of the book: A very personal and honest autobiography of a Self-realized person, which would describe the bittersweet journey of their life, inspire the readers and make them cry. Their deepest insights about the true nature of Reality, God and the Ego. Practical advice for people wanting to walk in their footsteps A few pages with beautiful pictures of pastures and riverbeds. Section 4 would be made out of LSD blotters. I'd buy that book, and use it too.

Psychedelics have been proven to be very effective for therapeutic purposes. Last year, I was at a psychedelic retreat (toad venom) where some people said that they were able to 'let go' of their traumas and experienced karma from their past lives being washed away. Whether 5-MeO is the most effective for this is context and person dependent, but it is much less likely to allow you to get distracted like some other psychedelics can. Although, 60mg is an insane dose. You should have broken through on that dose. An average person would experience a whiteout and it might even get physically dangerous for them.

He went from Fat Leo to emaciated Leo: And eventually found a healthy balance in the middle.

This week's episode on Dualities got me thinking on the theme of 'progressivism' vs 'conservatism'. Consider, for an example, that you are a progressive, or at least are more to the left than your grandparents who thought sex before marriage was immoral. Think about the following. It is an oversimplified scenario, but it just came to my mind while contemplating: Very soon, AI and robots will be prevalent in our society. Initially we'll use them as our personal slaves, treating them as our personal ticket to a stress-free life. Sooner or later, advances in AI will inevitably lead to the development of robots that are capable of experiencing the same types of emotions (joy, pain, anger, etc.) as us humans. Imagine if you had a multi-million dollar business where robots do all the work for 164 hours a week; and "progressives" in the future start a petition demanding that we free the robots, and start paying them equal pay for equal work. They might even call it 'Robot Lives Matter'. How pissed off would you be? Probably just as much as the slave owners of the 19th century. Then, a few decades later, imagine if your grandson introduced you to a robot he is dating. Would you find it weird and disgusting? Maybe then people will look back at some of the depictions of robots in the movies of the past and say how insensitive and 'robophobic' human beings were. Before long, a human candidate is running for President against a Robot candidate. The human candidate reminisces about the simpler times of the past, when the robots knew their damn place. Surprise, surprise, you end up voting for the human, because these modern 'progressives' have lost their minds. And a progressive of 2019 will have turned into a hardcore conservative in, say 2079. I see how biased our views are. Even if we've abolished human slavery in the West, we still have other forms of slavery and oppression, like factory farming. And no matter how much we progress, there will be newer issues and the next generation will find a way to demonize the current generation. Reality is one giant mindfuck. So long as the individual tries to maintain his/her existence, Reality will continue to outsmart and frustrate them.

You cannot be allergic to ALL psychedelics, imo. You must test the drug whenever possible using a tester kit. Secondly, always start out with a small dose (like 30ug for LSD) just to see how your body reacts to it. That should do the trick.

This is no excuse. You are familiar with self-actualization practices, so you know that you can improve in this area. College is supposed to be a place for you to push past your comfort zone and learn and grow. Why would you want to be emotionally dependent on your boyfriend so much? Do you not think that eventually he might end up resenting you if you become more needy? Only then you will be older, but will not have self-actualized or have more experience in life. IMO, you have falsely convinced yourself that you only have two choices. This is a choice between placating & pleasing your family v/s taking the 'safe route' by staying with your boyfriend. If neither of these are helping you grow and mature as a person, then I think both are bad choices. It's much better for you to prioritize your needs instead. And whatever that means for you in terms of the decision is up to you to decide.

And yet, Buddha had to leave his wife and newborn son behind, because he know that he would never be able to find the Truth if he stayed in the comfort of his marriage and palatial home. It clearly depends on who you are and whether the relationship actually helps you in growing spiritually. The world isn't even at stage Green yet. Most people get married out of their need for comfort and relational security. Virtually nobody prioritizes spiritual growth as a value in their relationships.

@outlandish You're right. It's not linearly scalable when it comes to actual tripping since the concept of 'objective comparison' flies out of the window. With microdosing, we're all probably looking for the same things: Creative boost, energy, openness, better mood, etc. But with tripping, it becomes very personal and subjective. But still, I find that I have a greater tolerance than others. The max I've done is 400ug LSD and 40mg 2c-b, and I know many people don't need that much. Others may have the same realizations as me at lower doses, but comparing them verbally is moot.

@electroBeam any good books on learning do do astral projection? How did you learn it? And about your question: Tom Campbell's MBT forum members will be able to help you more than the folks here.

Not really a cult leader. But he is trying to establish his niche, catering to stage orange men who are socially awkward and feel repressed. So he probably tries to overcompensate by getting them together and do weird exercises to break that social conditioning. Nothing wrong with that. Of course, he isn't the highest quality teacher in the area of masculinity. But clearly there are men who resonate with him.

It seems that his neediness is driving you away. Does he have a strong life purpose outside your relationship? There seems to be a reverse polarity going on here. If he wants you more than you want him, he will continue to drive you away. Based on the limited knowledge I have about you two, it seems that you keep going back to him out of a need for security and comfort, and not out of genuine attraction for him. Ask yourself: If another man who was better than your ex at everything came in your life, would you still want to be with your ex? Maybe you would, if you think he understands you better than anyone else, makes you laugh, etc. If that is the case, he needs to get his act together. And you also need to work on your abandonment issues, regardless of whether you want to get back with your ex or you want to be with someone else. It seems like you are not attracted to him, but want him to be ready to accept you whenever you want. That's your neediness and desire for relational security getting in the way. A relation based on fear and neediness is not a healthy one. Only you two can make a decision about whether to stay together or call it quits. You can ask yourself: - Do you two grow more by being together or by being separate? In what ways do you serve each other and add value to your lives and in the lives of your family? - Why does he want you more than you want him? Is it because he truly loves you, or is it because he cannot get any other woman in his life? - Are you both genuinely attracted and love each other? Wish you all the best:)

It would vary from person to person. I have a high tolerance to psychedelics (and all drugs in general). I arrived at 25ug through some trial & error and it works fine for me. Above 35ug is when it becomes a mini-trip for me. Of course, everyone should experiment and arrive at their optimal microdose.

You should be afraid! Taking a breakthrough 5-MeO dose is like placing a gun in your mouth in the movie Inception and believing that you'll exit the dream and wake up. Of course, if you trip responsibly, you will come back. But if you have this assumption before you trip, you will not be able to fully let go and have a breakthrough. You need to fully be ready to surrender to the experience. In hindsight, my 5-MeO solo trip almost felt like an exorcism, because the devil just wouldn't let go. It was scary. But I learnt a lot from it. I recommend you to start out with smaller doses of 5-MeO and other psychedelics, and with contemplation and deconstructing your belief structures. But there's nothing that can fully prepare you for a breakthrough dose. Fully letting go is the only way.

@theking00 enlightenment will not get you girls. Ego death will not permanently cure your low self-esteem and anxiety. But it's best to work in that area of your life, and continue to self- actualize and meditate (which is how Leo started) Going to the gym, socializing more, etc. are bound to be more helpful.

I microdosed 25ug of LSD once every 3 days during my vipassana retreat. It was definitely helpful. But knowing about nootropics now, I'd recommend armodafinil instead.

I spoke with Jan about Kundalini Shakti about such a case. Here's what he said: You probably had Kundalini arousal, and not awakening. Awakening is possible only when the knots in the subtle body are untied, either by hardcore practice or by Shaktipat. And Kundalini awakening doesn't gurantee bliss asap. It gurantees that awakened kundalini will guide you towards liberation. It's up to you to follow that guidance,