Steph1988

@Visitor That is a fascinating story so did u go to college? and was the willingness to change very sudden like lightning stuck you or gradual? would you be willing to tell how and why you hit rock bottom? If u did it how did u solve your addiction? i am interested because i know an alcoholic who can't solve his addiction while he is a relatively rich person while you then would have done it in much harsher circumstances. Were there moments in your improvement period that you were on the verge of giving up and started backsliding? I hope u could answer maybe a few of these thx in advance.

@electroBeam Yes and soon as i see no more potential in the event i just go home take your chances or go. a few things that worked for me. - Be your own self in these situations as well no matter if u piss people off make no concessions. - Go into it with a feeling that it will be total shit then it can only get better - Get drunk but not too drunk use alcohol in a deliberate way and even better if u can pump up your own state without it but with the aid of brainwashing techniques. - Break some social rules for fun make it a bit anarchistic don't go to far but walk the fine line. This serves to make it more fun. It is very hard and it improved for me over the years but it takes such a long time so don't get discouraged.

@electroBeam Oh don't get me started Just those 2 words alone ''social events'' make me feel annoyed just the word social is so tainted already, nothing social happens in clubs far as i am concerned. But do whatever it takes internet,cold approach,social events but then maybe drunk so u are able to cope just do anything whatever it takes i think. But don't think you are somehow autistic or retarded or antisocial if u cannot really naturally thrive in these situations that is society's bullshit and smart people can feel dumb because of it. So in these situations u gotto trick your own mind, u have to convince yourself that the banal shit you do is fun and productive and of course ''social''because no matter how observant or smart u are u still need human connection, alcohol works, warming up works and don't take anything seriously what people say in these settings absolutely nothing, anything goes, manipulate where u can it doesn't matter, lower your bar as low as u can for the night and abuse their emotional states to the full because they don't matter its all fleeting ( please take it with a grain of salt what i say ) and the next day u can be a normal human being again. Now the difference is when you are slightly intelligent you are fully conscious of what u do, lots of people however are not but they do just exactly the same thing i have just described unconsciously and knowing that lots of people have a very limited conscious allow you to not care that much either. This is my subjective experience and i know i am generalizing so again take it with a grain of salt maybe u meet an intelligent worthwhile person and then all those things don't matter anymore because u hit the jackpot that would be nice. Don't feel guilty or anything, u deep down know what u want friends,family, a loving relationship in every way and meaningful work but society burdens u with banal social expectations,clubs and endless little realities hidden from plain sight noone tells you about because they don't care. So to conclude try anything absolutely anything and trial and error will do the rest. I hope this is not to far off the mark here these are my feeling about it all and was in the mood for some angry writing.

I would would say exactly the same thing he is interesting, check it out take what u like and move on but don't dwell too much on it. He is sometimes quite mean and condescending to his guests actually i wonder where that comes from and i find that a bit strange but still lots of interesting stuff on his channel i would say.

@Lorcan nice the skyrim theme good one! tho i slightly prefer the morrowind theme over that one

And yes the last one from a video game! I think that is one of the most beautiful things i've ever heard

Love this he is totally free from any shame that is some dancing!

Go work at a place where u work with lots of different people that is where i got my newer friendships i made 2 new close friends in the last lets say 5 years out of working with lets say 200-300 people. I work in the food industry and work with many young people so that improves the odds. Be open to different personality's learn to appreciate them. And You build bonds by working with people on something. People have a tendency to tell you to go out but in my experience that is the worst place to make true friends unless you go there with guys with a common goal and it involves some kind of shared hardship ( i guess only pickup because there is totally no other good reason to go to these disgusting places ) I don't believe in socializing for its own sake with strangers, there is either something important to do together or there is little reason to talk and after u bond through this important thing u can socialize for its own sake and let go, that feels to be the most natural way but that's my 2 cents. Do you have work or a study where u can do this? On the other hand i sympathize with you, this modern society breeds loneliness its not easy and you are not the only one i assure you and i totally get it.

I never even made one attempt at dancing in my whole life not even when by myself even then it feels awkward, even the thought of me dancing makes me cringe like hell. There is not a single dancing fiber in my body despite i love music very much. When i was pushed on a dance floor when i was younger it felt like the world coming crashing down on me i rather fight a professional boxing match, or swim with a white shark, or fight in a war then i go dance for even a second. I rejected girls who wanted to dance because i don't dare to give it my all on the dance floor and it will feel awkward. It is strange because i have no problem with intimacy or touching or sports with lots of movement its just dancing. Oh well you can't have it all so off to the bar it is then.

@Shin Yes that is the thing u goto aim for i think that u know the awkwardness is there but you carry on regardless and don't care then it will solve itself mostly.

@Shin That is a lot to take on and im not sure awkwardness around girls and people in general is solved by most of those habits. Its all good of-course no doubt there. Did you get some results in solving awkwardness up to this point?

@Shin you do the whole list? impressive. i managed only a few of these thing with a big effort up to this point. and the nofap/coldshower habits are insanely hard to do on a consistent basis did you manage that? how big a difference do you feel from those 2 alone? because i seem to fail these habits after several try's maybe i need more motivation. @Principium Nexus something that took away my anxiety for a big part was simply to work with a lot of people and to be around people more and also to not give a damn that you are anxious. Be honest as much as possible, don't play games with people, tell them what's up straight in their face, learn to absolutely despise any mask and fakeness, even if you say something stupid its ok you've learned from it. and if u believe in something stand your ground no matter how many people disagree ( don't become close minded either of course ) so stand up for what you believe. On some level i think its good to become mad as hell you have to really hate the games people play for a while, you have to feel sorry for neurotic status seekers and when u manage that you have to feel superior to those people, you got to brainwash yourself a little bit perhaps. you wouldn't believe how much anger and frustration can aid you. Now this sounds far from enlightened i guess but it did help me a lot.

@Socrates I am a cook and i processed insane amounts of animal products in my ten years of work so in your eyes i must be accessary in mass murder should i feel guilty?

@SocratesAnd this fanatical attitude makes it even worse i didn't call you names, i didn't judge veganism. I'm just making an observation and i wonder how would u deal with it just curious.

Yes there is a counter argument and it is a really good one. It all tastes way to good to give up. And you could point out a thousand pages of research to prove your point and objectively u may even be completely right i don't know i never looked into it so i don't want to judge it myself, but i cannot see this becoming mainstream in a thousand years because of this argument.

@MissMiki I like that we can talk normally about it as people with kind of opposing views. So i'am against multiculturalism ( and i suspect one of the few on this forum ) but i do get where u are coming from because people can go too far and become narrow minded and it becomes unthinking altogether and an automated process to love your country blindly. I also think that is just plain boring so to rebel against that seems only logical and intelligent and i think that you questioned your own cultural beliefs that is very good that does not bother me at all, for me that was a phase and now i came back from it BUT more open minded and relaxed about it. Again i think a certain dose of nationalism is a necessity. For me it is a paradox which i can hold tho, there should be a balance because plainly i think humans are not wired to care about the whole world equally, they care most about family and friends and maybe the nation state but if its hardwired u can't force it out so rucksichtloss so we have to accept it yourself and from others as well and with that i believe in the nation state and that our western culture is something to be protected and i respect patriotism also from other nations as much as i respect it when people have strong healthy personal boundaries as long it is not in an unthinking way. So to remove all borders and make our culture in something that is completely arbitrary and meaningless is to slowly break down society and commit treason. Again tho i think u questioning your own culture critically is very good anyone should do that. I know this is a bit controversial maybe but it is something i thought deeply about and feel it strongly as well ( and well i say whatever the hell i wanna say anyway ).

@MissMiki i'll check that first one out then see if it changes my view. I have to say that in keeping your culture protected is not a bad thing per se i think it can be even very respectful. Take for example the native Americans or the aboriginals i don't know the details but they were probably better off with their own cultures then they are now. So i would say that works both ways i think Islam should stay out mostly from our culture and we should let them be as well and not be arrogant and try to ''civilize'' them it won't work. And then we should treat each other respectfully but with a healthy distance, we can trade, go to travel there, and we can be curious to each other but we should not mingle too much i think and that is not racist, people do that in their personal lives too i think that is just wise.

@MissMiki show me the different story, show me the most positive stuff that would prove me wrong . But that video is the best one i have seen on opposing viewpoint i find it enriching because it deals with data and it is objective but i cannot show you something that would be 100% positive and brings people together.

@zazed maybe this is not the right post to post this and you probably might not watch it but i feel very urged to show it, This is a very good presentation on Islam, its objective and he actually talks in a respectful way about Muslims. Btw my quote was actually that the fanatic debate stoppers and racism screamers should be ridiculed because these people are simply against freedom of speech. Islam should be ridiculed of course just like any other religion because i feel if these institutes have so many followers it should handle criticism if they cannot stand simple objective criticism and a little bit of ridicule then all alarm bells should go off in your mind. anyway i dare you to watch it entirely if you don't like to of course that is fine i don't want to be nag on it. And important if you have a pro Islam piece to show i WILL watch it i promise i want to hear all sides on this discussion because i find this topic interesting.

I am interested in self improvement in all aspects of life health,relationships,making it to my goals. But enlightenment not at the moment there is a problem with it. I can't comprehend it even tho i watched most of Leo's video's on it and i try to understand but it has to be experienced i guess but if i don't know what that feels like or how good it is i don't know if it should compete with more clear goals like making money or getting a good with intimacy or getting skilled at something i really want or getting in better shape. If it is something to be mastered and takes that long to master should it compete with these more tangible goals? If you don't know exactly what you are shooting for it is a big risk too invest so much time and energy into it so that might be a reason. The other more apparent reason is that most people hear something like that and instantly go like ''maybe you should do less drugs ye damn hippie'' which is no reason at all of course . I am probably wrong.....because i don't know what the hell i am talking about namely enlightenment.

Depends how far would u want to go opening up? i always speak freely completely without restraints if i can do that that means true friendship among st other stuff. But i never give my whole soul and being and all my thoughts and i don't want that, the times i did that it felt weird, and i found out that that was not something for me. I always feel more authentic when joking,fooling around and doing activities with my friends. we also talk about problems of course but i don't like to talk too much about feelings. I feel loyalty,acceptance,humor,shared interests are most important and then we don't have to go to deep that is all deep enough.

@Socrates I like that you bring that up you are absolutely right and some people have some kind of pathological need to completely embrace and defend everything that looks kinda exotic i find it absolutely sickening, it is conformity at its worst and the people who are fanatically against questioning ( yes just questioning............ ) Islam should be relentlessly and mercilessly ridiculed yes u read that correctly i mean that. All religions should be investigated as objectively as possible they should be under scrutiny and Islam is especially dubious. As for racism it should be completely obvious that it is absurd, the few true racists i came across were just often really dumb people mostly frustrated with life and externalizing their problems. i cannot discover true malignant racism in the starting post do not call yourself a racist that fast! but you can contemplate why u get that eerie feeling do that i bet its not true racism.

@Shin Pity we all live so far apart otherwise we could do pickup together Do you have a life purpose of some sort that takes up most of your time? so then you could bear your suffering a lot better i think. all the best to you.

@Flare Ok way too many assumptions about me so i think i close it off as i will never be able to make you see that i say reasonable things. Aaah...... you have no idea really. I read your last post completely i assure you and i just don't get your reasoning and too be honest i don't think you even try to understand. So to conclude i stand by my posts for a full 200% as i think i have dealt with any argument you came up with already so to do more is pointless. Let history do its thing w'll see who gets the closest to the truth.

https://www.youtube.com/user/TheTop5ss/videos check out his video's they are really good not your typical top 5's on youtube. I found this one soo strange and creepy .