Steph1988

Different situation here but some comparisons, 29 as well, just bought a house after 10 years of saving money, working 32 hours (full time sucks), almost no schooling or diploma's because i started working at 18 which means no debt but i'm stuck at a relatively low income. The idea of getting a form of passive income besides a job becomes more and more alluring to me but i have no idea how to go about it if at all, My bold move was buying/renovating the house which was my project for the last years, within a few months it will be finished and i will be having real spare time for the first time in about 6 months because i had to work 2 jobs to do so. If there is one thing that i have learned from this it is that your habit of working hard can be stretched to what u before thought was impossible, you are tougher then u think and if final victory means working 60-80 hours a week for some time it can easily be done as long as you can see the finish line somewhere. I think with this new work ethic ( which i didn't have before i was quite lazy) i will be more successful with other things too. BTW what will your business be about?

I agree i find that vagueness counterproductive and some people here are just unable to say anything concrete, it is a little dissapointing. But luckily there are also some great posts and comments, often great stories keep me coming back.

Hahaha this is so relatable to me. Having too many interests, i once saw a documantary about fighting dogs on TV and the next week i spend about a dozen hours learning everything about guard and war dogs and how to train them,what breeds were the best, etc 2 weeks further i remembered about 20% of it and then the interest faded, And then ofcourse another subject catches my interest. Leo's reply is good i think u just shake yourself awake that works for me although i still now and then waste time on yet another subject .

I do like the show on the on hand because of all the plots it does a lot of things brilliantly, for example the red wedding episode is brilliant and shocking. On the other hand there is no one to root for in this series, almost everyone has evil motives and the few that you can root for are hopelessly naive and powerless, it is a world without any hope there is too much misery incest,betrayal of friends,child murder,exploding heads,torture, and you just almost hope for a god in that universe that destroys the whole world and resets it. granted i did not watch last 2 seasons because again i just found noone to root for. How different is that with for example in lord of the rings now that is a world that is horrible but there is always some hope left you always feel that while GOT is just a spiritually barren wasteland and dead in every way at least that was my feeling about it. I really wonder if some u guys feel that way as well about it.

@Lawrence Damn i read it last year it is indeed mind blowing can confirm!

@Joseph Maynor Schools are not set up to bring about the best in someone, they are set up to process kids to be adapted to society and and be cogs in a big machine you can check out https://archive.org/stream/TheUndergroundHistoryOfAmericanEducation_758/TheUndergroundHistoryOfAmericanEducation#page/n21/mode/2up that gives all the reading u need on why schools are the way they are. They are probably well meaning teachers out there but the system is so inefficient for example think about the bell ringing every 50 mins or so for a new subject and to be in a class with 30 or so kids. On the other hand maybe it is better this way because who decides what Personal development is? in the case of school it would be the state, it is more up to the parents i think and maybe the only solution is to cut some school time and people start working slightly less at their jobs spending more time with there kids and with themselves of course to bring out the best in them it should be up to the individual and all you can do is encourage, u can't force this. This comes back to an extremely tough discussion of who decides what is best and can people be trusted with the raising of their own kids and teaching and encouraging them, it is tempting to say you can't trust most of them but we probably have to. Last thing i would say and this goes against the part above completely is that since i follow all Jordan Peterson's courses i would say yes it is a science and yes it should be taught, listen to what he has to say, it is true self development. So i guess to conclude yes should be taught in my opinion but we should be extremely careful who does it and who is it ultimately for it should be for the individual and you should be learning how to think well which is actually extremely hard. also just a thought by excluding it maybe we are teaching something else, namely that life is about getting a job and buying nice stuff because that is what society is indirectly saying doing the stuff we do now, we need the big questions in our life, we need to learn how to think. excuse the long answer i feel this is to hard to answer without nuance but this is what i think.

@Shin Got it i understand u better now i think. you just accept the situation as it comes no matter how tough your situation is that is the only way to grow and that is also the best of getting stuff done. From a practical perspective i guess i understand. maybe we are in agreement actually but we use different words and that is logical because its all so incredibly nuanced.

@faith Oh completely agreed that we should look at everyone's point of view even the worst criminals in history, but something about mindless conformity and the sassy attitude ( granted is also motivated by willing to conform ) calls up a deep sense of disgust with me. BTW i do think what u said is true about it being a defense mechanism most of the time but not always. Maybe people can get sassy after having achieved a personal victory while everyone said that person would not be able to do it, well what does that do for a person, it be going to the other end and going in against the stream so its the complete opposite reason for being sassy, i can see such a thing happening as well.

@Afonso - more energy - looking prettier - increasing your lifespan - study suggest it makes u smarter or keep you smart longer - keeping deceases away - good for your hart and blood pressure - and yes confidence why not it should just not be a crutch. - it will even be kind of fun after a while and... let me ask you this, if u u are afraid it will just boost your ego? are u not massively acknowledging your ego? Just go ahead and do it regularly, it is doable Currently i'm focused on work and i work 5-6 days a week of 10-12 hours still i do a daily ( ok i skip sometimes but not much ) 50 push up 50 sit up 8 pull up well that is no tough work out but doing it everyday makes me quite fit actually and i even made gains in my shoulders. its not hard if you do it daily after 2 weeks if u are not motivated by all the endless list of benefits science has proven just do because it makes u feel real good and that's it really don't look deeper and just do it !

@Shin Well are u willing to take on what i said? I don't intend really for a debate but i'm not convinced that the opening sentence is true and maybe you could help me understanding better. I ultimately see no good reason to look that way at the world and Leo has not convinced me either with his stance on morality yet ( of course i still appreciate most of his stuff tho) but i want to do some critical thinking on this on not just accept everything that would even be boring don't u think? but i'm still interested to how this still might work out got to stay open minded.

@Visitor If your ideal self is to fit in nicely what does that make you ? how can people like that be really trusted? are they soulless? is it ultimately deep down fear that motivates them? everyone knows someone who is like that u know the one who looks up to authority without question, who buy the same shoes as his/her boss, easily controlled, people who are like leaves in the wind without any critical thinking of their own. sometimes i wonder in maybe my own arrogance ''should we have any empathy or respect whatsoever for such a person?'' What do you think?

@Shin I would take a few issue with this i think but i like that you put it so bluntly and its not that u are completely wrong on everything i think, but i just think this goes to far. I guess you mean to say everything is relative but i can imagine that u prefer loving your partner over being raped and tortured so if you do prefer that i guess it means its not THAT relative. Yes probably if u want to say how far we can stretch that look at North Korea but again same thing as the above. But not only by culture, the conditioning goes waaay back to prehistoric times u seem to dismiss neurobiology, the existence of archetypes, we are wired from millions of years of evolution and that is overlooked way to often, I'm not sure it is, i would say it is absolute and that is because it works, we need a concept of good and evil, we need to define both so we have something to work with and something to aim and strive for, and that this is good is self evident, when u do good it feels good, when u move towards positive goals it feels good u feel better, children u raise will do better u are more healthy its all been proven, same thing with evil, when performing an evil action it will ripple out in the world and lots of evil actions done by individuals will destroy a society, You could simply say that the words better and evil actions and goals etc are also relative but what is the use in that. Its is simply self evident u know u prefer to have a good family,passions,being cared for, free time, love, friends, no worries about money over torture and war and rape. it is simply self evident. Ok i guess there is use in believing your emotions and feelings aren't real either simply because sometimes they are in the way of going to a better outcome but maybe this is just mental toughness for example when i'm on the operation table i want the surgeon to be mentally tough but i would not go any further then that and there it is clear what a better outcome is namely me being brought back to good health. My biggest issue with all this is, Where do you want to go with all this, what is the purpose? I personally take the stance that good/evil/morality are absolute and that there are absolute standards we need to uphold now there is a LOT of room how to decide upon this i think but that should be determined with rational convincing arguments. This will give you some purpose to your life, something to aim for. And it is very simple why i take this stance, it simply works for me it is self evident i try to be open minded tho and i do see tremendous worth in eastern philosophy but i would say u take it to far.

@Hardik jain So is there nothing that you find fun or interesting? explain how that is possible first.

@Shin are you able to manage what the video says? its not easy probably. And i'm still curious tho why won't you say? I like philosophy but what i really like is are real life examples of the philosophy into action.

@Shin Nice vid, out of curiosity what do you want to achieve so bad and what do you sacrifice for it? so what is your dream?

I ask myself first mostly ''are these so called selfless acts really selfless''. But of course do they really need to be 100% selfless? maybe not. The first straight answer that springs to mind tho is because it feels good probably and if most people are honest they will confirm that. I'm extremely skeptical about most people 's selfless acts i suspect it does exist but maybe only a minority of people is capable of doing them i don't even trust myself on that i try to be as humble as possible on it because it gets thrown around way to easily. like half of the celebrity's do "selfless acts'' these days how much virtue signaling and ego is it really? there are more situations that are suspicious for example what about a mother who goes out of her way to cook and clean for the kids even when they are out of the house but so much that it gets annoying and calls way too much, What does she want? is all that care selfless or is she afraid that her children wont visit her anymore?is it a precaution against loneliness? it might be a perfectly valid reason but its not selfless and you can think up thousands of comparable cases. So maybe it is almost impossible to be completely selfless. But maybe it is better to accept that is almost impossible and so the only thing that i find comes close to an ideal is to live as honestly as possible, increase critical thinking skills and awareness and from there try to solve problems in a more non feeling but practical way. If you want to help africa maybe not mindlessly give millions but study the history study the people and try to discover why it is poor and go from there to try to come up with practical solutions now that is harder then seeing a commercial with fly covered faces and starving villages and then crying reach for your wallet but maybe more selfless.

@Leo Gura Ok fair enough words can only get us so far and i can't possibly know what you have experienced with my limited time with self development. I find the rabbit hole kind of risky and scary i'm not sure i'm willing to take it that far i have to be honest, having a passion,friends,family,healthy sex life,no money worries decent work and contributing to society seem to me the highest ideal to strife for. And when u are sitting in that cave in total bliss i hope you don't suddenly wake up in panic realizing that was not the thing u were looking for but unable to turn back to society and realizing its too late i have thought about that and that idea scares the hell out of me .

@Leo Gura This is interesting to me because i'm following all his programs and plan to do his authoring program and it feels like 2 competing styles of self development. It is a pity he waved off the tradition of mindfulness like its some useless trend i would love to see him go full on into the subject and why he thinks that actually. But you dismiss him quite quickly as well, how well do you know his work? and did you watch his some of his lectures? These are big statements.............and i actually like that because you get to the heart of the matter quickly, i guess that would almost justify a video on its own. But so your career and other people who teach your particular style of PD hinge on getting not lost in mind what makes your way superior to his? curious to see your take on this in a more elaborate way someday because there are opposing views on life here by 2 people claiming to know what is the best way.

@Orange Ye i guess i mean that there is a generally a consensus in society on what certain words and idea's mean and there are few perspectives and that gives so much confusion. for example if u say education most people immediately think school/university/diploma and i think that is too limited. But what is an education? can be traveling, can be contemplating, can be reading books on your own while noone knows, society can say about someone who's grown up on a farm, learnt everything there,building stuff, keep animals, keep the business growing that he has no education because he has no diploma but he might be more educated and autonomous then most people. So if you think it through it is obvious but lots of people tend not to think these things through and it is used against them but for example by the media. Hope it clarifies things excuse my English

@Shan I was in exactly the same situation (without the children tho) actually what a coincidence. I did it like, this i bought the house but i went from full time work to 32 hours and that is enough time left i think to build something up on the side. I did it for the long term because i'm gonna lose sooo much money by renting over a longer period (rents are extremely high where i live) most important thing is to still have financial room to have flexibility so you don't have to work in a job you don't like for 50 hours a week or more, in that case i would not do it u just find something for at the most 38 hours that is bearable. U might take into account that u might never find a single life purpose maybe your life purpose is to work a job but at the same time be a really good parent and being skilled in a sport, able to play music or build pc's or whatever u like to do and that might actually not such a bad life. And if you are one of those people who do single out a true life purpose you will give it your all regardless of the job u will absolutely work those 80-90 hours a week i think. Thing is tho i don't have children and that is the point i where my advice is kind of limited.

@nexusoflife what can make me depressed sometimes is the way in which most people are more concerned with the latest fashion trend, or i phone or what their sport teams are doing, i mean its no problem to talk about that but its almost always that, its fucking boring. the overall shallowness of (Most) of society is the most depressing to me. Lets talk about idea's more even dead wrong idea's i don't care lets get a little more creative ffs not many people are able to do that in my experience. And the social games people love to play, people just love their pathetic roles, i mean everyone has their weak moments but at least some awareness and relativism is required to make me trust someone. people in victim roles are by far the worst and to be avoided at all costs and all times, then come the overzealous working bee's who are always on edge and actively looking for people to blame when something is not 1000% perfect, and of course the ''i'm just a simple man and can't be bothered to think that about difficult stuff'' person. can go on and on but u get the point. ye my conclusion is there will be no system ever that will work to make the world better, the war must be fought by each individual in his/her own mind and everyone has to strive for at least a little bit of self improvement, We owe it as much to our friend/family/children as we owe it to ourselves. to few people even try it and that is depressing to me not because of the suffering but mostly because i think its boring.

@TeamBills incidents can make you a completely different person indeed i think i do understand that. For example one of the most hurtful things in the world what traumatizes people is betrayal by a good friend or partner. once you got down you have to get back up and that might going through a hell, maybe the antidote would be to try to as completely as possible understand your own psyche and the world as you can. Understanding things helped me put things back into order Actually my conscientiousness would score incredibly low a few years ago so i try to understand why am i that careless and lazy? I think i kind off discovered why i was that way and took action however it certainly took a few years with up and downs and its not perfect yet but i can in all honesty say i'm disciplined and motivated now. So from my own experience i can say a lot can be done absolutely. if you have the patience and interest watch all of these just a suggestion it helps me tremendously. Maybe its not your thing i could fully understand that but whatever no harm in suggesting i guess.

Open-Mindedness High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative. You are relatively open to new experiences. (Your percentile: 76) Conscientiousness High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent. You are very well-organized, and can be relied upon. (Your percentile: 80) Extraversion High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet. You are neither particularly social or reserved. (Your percentile: 53) Agreeableness High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous. You find it easy to criticize others. (Your percentile: 4) Negative Emotionality High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy. You are a generally anxious person and tend to worry about things. (Your percentile: 93) hmm my results also kinda scare me i never saw myself as a mean person i'm quite relaxed and live and let live although i can have strong revenge feelings and be judgmental when i see someone try to mess with me.

Jordan Peterson. Its a total different approach to PD from what Leo offers and for me he is the most interesting by far compared to anything else on you tube, currently watching all his 3 courses in order. Alan Watts. I guess that's a no brainer, he started me out with PD about 4 years ago, on the eastern philosophy part of things to me he is the best because he is clear and precise, I think what i love most about him are elaborate rants about the rigid society this is just brilliant he is never boring to listen to. " Making plans for the future is only useful for people who are capable of living in the present" So easy to understand yet so hard to implement.

Delete your world of Warcraft account and get a move on ASAP!