nahtanoj

I've been meditating for the last 6 months just 20 to 30 minutes and almost regularly but not every day, some days I Meditate 1 hour after work, I would say I meditate 4 or 5 days a week. It's been a crazy ride for me. Some days I'm sleepy other days my monkey mind doesn't shut up for one second. In the past month I've been feeling deep in my meditation, but after one good meditation it comes a crazy day meditation and I know it is normal but still disappointing. Well just now I was meditating and I just feel like I was encapsulated in my body. After following my breath I started to become aware of my heart beat and something going thru my back like an artery or something. After that I feel like I don't have hands or body just an empty space, I felt like I was floating and the wall in front of me does not exist (my eyes were closed), I felt this for couple of minutes. When I (ego) notice this my monkey mind just started to trow the most ridiculous thoughts I get decentralized felt fear and my eyes just opened abruptly. The thing is that this was one of my best meditations. But I think I could be deluded by the fact that I have all this knowledge of what I could expect from this work. How I know it wasn't a delusion of the ego? I also feel like it is too fast to be feeling little glimpses of infinity.

I want the same thing. The other day I was contemplating about my life purpose and just remembered the summers in my grandma's. I remember how easy and aligned with being I was. I remember just looking at the trees from a balcony in the backyard of the house. Some days I easily spent 4 to 6 hours just looking at the trees and mountains. I still don't know my life purpose. I'm planning to buy the Leo's course.

I just watched the last video of Leo and just 5 months ago I would discarded Leo as a woo woo religious fanatic but now I'm very open to all the possibilities. Just saw this right now and remember that everything is posible: http://time.com/4854718/quantum-entanglement-teleport-space/

I'm in the same boat. "I don't have the resources to live the sage way", I have a crapy job that pays but only for the basics. I also have family (wife and daughter). I moved from another country to United States and my English is not the best. This makes me scared of starting a business or looking for high paying jobs. I have a bachelor degree on information systems, after college I started working with some companies back in my country and hated the jobs, after a while I realized that I like web development and I kind of know a little bit but I'm not expert on the field. Every time I try to do a proyect I encounter an obstacle and just quit. The thing is that I have a lot of knowledge and philosophy under the belt I started doing inner work and it helped me a lot. I kind of want to stop following susscess and just pursue enlightenment, but I don't want to let my family behind. I want to give them susscess. Did I mention that I have a crapy job? Well the thing is that having this job was the motivation to start self development and also losing 60 pounds in 5 months. After that I realized I can do everything I can propose. So right now I'm confused and in a paradoxical intersection. I want susscess and I want enlightenment. I also don't know my life purpose so I'm going to buy the Leo course. I started adding good habits, meditation, and reading the Leo's book list. That right there is life changing. The other day I was driving to my job and I was looking at the rising sun and I just started crying of joy to be alive in that moment I felt that what I have is enough to be happy. Everything you need is only yourself. But I know my ego don't want that and also my ego wants to provide success to my family. So at the end I'm confused like you. What I'm going to do is to surrender to life 100% I'm accepting everything, accepting reality like it is. That for some reason makes me to get out of the depression and I'm motivated to do success in a mindfulness way. I spend the last month doing contemplation on my life purpose and I have some ideas but I think that if I do what my life purpose is I could get success in a mindful way and in a way where I can pursue enlightenment. In conclusion start doing inner work and keep working for success. It is funny that I'm confused but can give you some advice.

So on Sunday I went to a "Mindfulness Center". It is a Thich Nhat Hanh community. All the people in this place were very friendly and supportive. I did 30 minutes of meditation with 15 minutes of mindfulness walking followed by chanting and an hour long talk that feel like watching profound videos of Leo. But they have images of the Buddha a in all of their halls. You are supposed to bow to the buddha for respect of his teachings and I felt weird doing it because I just started dropping my dogmatic atheism. The thing is that after finishing everything I sign up for a mindfulness class. And today I'm craving to go back there every Sunday for their sangha. I feel like I could easily become a buddhist follower and I'm aware that I could be changing one dogma for another. I also feel like I don't want to follow susscess anymore and just start creating and supporting a community like this one. Any thoughts on this?

This is the guy managing the place. I really like his talkings.

@Leo Gura in my opinion I think that no one is enlightened in this place so far. I'm just guessing. It could be 1 or 2. Still it looks like a good place to practice and learn. The reason I went to this place is because I been meditating almost every day for 3 months and I want to start doing solo retreats like the ones you did that you recorded. The thing is that I want to learn more meditation techniques. Like mindful eating and walking. This place has classes about that and they have solo retreats available that I want to do before going to a solo myself like the one you did in the cabin. Btw meditation has changed my view of everything, I hadn't experienced anything like enlightenment but I could see other benefits of it and I believe that one can get enlightened. I also started reading philosophy about Descartes and Humes and others and I realized that my atheism is dogmatic, that and your videos had helped me to see how atheism is flawed.

@Nahm they emphasize that bowing to the buddha is just for respect (you don't have to do it if you don't want). They do ask for donations but it is only for support (they have lots of free clases and retreats) , and they don't do it in a agresive or demanding way. The thing is that doing all of this just feels like religion to me. Something that I have been trying to cut from my life in the past decade.

@Toby but that was what happen when I started becoming an atheist.

@Joseph Maynor They have a library with tons of books and classes of dharma every week. I'm thinking of taking them.

Keep going dude. Doing inner work is hard. If you ever fell of come back. You just have encounter the most valuable information in the world. Don't lose this precious opportunity. I grew up in a bad neighborhood too. Most of my middle school and high school friends are dead. I was the odd one by that time. But I thank the universe I was scared of doing bad stuff it keep me out of the bad. I went to the university and I'm OK. Now I'm 30 and I wish I had this information when I was 20. By information I mean Leo's videos, books etc

I just came across of this guy called Eric Pepin, he is selling some clases of consciousness and other stuff that looks like bullshit but I don't know maybe I'm using my default position and not opening my mind. Did anyone knows about this guy and his clases? Did it work?

* SPOILER ALERT * OK so today I watched the movie again with my daughter. Lol So I notice something that I don't notice before and maybe it's because I watched this video of Leo yesterday. Spoiler alert: I notice that Moana don't choose her path or life purpose. Life itself chose her purpose. The ocean chose her life goal. That's something mind blowing. After watching that video I'm thinking about my life and how I don't have free will. I'm trying to go back to my early years of life but it is hard because I don't remember too much of that time.

I went to the movies to watch Moana with my family, by that time (2016) I wasn't into self actualization and I really din't liked the movie. It was a disappointment because the directors of the movie (Ron Clements and John Musker) were the ones who directed Aladdin's movie (one of my favorites animated movies). So fast forward to 2017 I have been into self development and going very deep. I have watched the video of the Hero's Journey by Leo a dozen times. I started looking at my life differently and also doing a lot of inner work. This past month my daughter wanted to watch Moana again and I just remembered how disappointing it was so I wanted to skip it but then I remembered that the story had a mentor, a threshold guardian etc. I watched it with an open mind and men it blew my mind. These days I just acknowledge how undeveloped and behind I am into my own journey. Now I understand how my First Position (Atheism) held me back with a lot of stuff and experiences. I had started experimenting and dropping a lot of shit within my web of believes. This past six months I have encounter my first self actualization paradox and my mind and ego just got fucked up by this inner work, this 6 months into this inner work have felt like years of hard work. Guys if you really want to grow and go beyond the reef you have to go inside yourself. Now Moana is one of my favorites movies if not my favorite so far.

30 I wish I started at my 20s...

@Sevi @phoenix666 funny how my wife thinks that I was brainwashed by Leo lol. She told me I'm more calm and in control but she hates Leo I don't know why , I sometimes saw her having a bad day and told her to watch Leo haha.

@Joseph Maynor what you mind by ego-death? What is the process to get that? @spicy_pickles I've been doing a lot of inner work this past six months and I can confirm that doing inner work get you depressed but I think it's normal because you are fucking with your ego. For example I started doing the 100% resposability approach in my life and it worked perfectly for two weeks but then I got hit by my ego and the resistance was so strong that I had to take a vacation from my work. Taking 100% responsibility of everything is hard and the ego hate it. Also I started being more honest with people and myself and again it worked fine for two weeks after that a the depression arises again. Doing inner work is hard. Doing confidence work is hard. The important thing is to know that this depression is going to pass. Just keep going and if you need a break take it, go low conscious for a while but remember to come back. Also sleep, I always get a lot of sleep. When I feeling down I sleep and it helps me. Btw watch out for burnout, try to get one thing at a time, trying a lot of stuff at the same time is more dangerous. And the failure is bigger. Remember we have limited resources. Limited time, limited mental capacity, limited will power. Hope everything gets well.

@Nahm Not yet. Thanks for the suggestion. @Leo Gura I have to watch Lion King again I was a kid when I watched it.

Can you provide me with the links to the Emerald's videos? Thanks in advance.

Why are you leaving college? What is the reason? How many years you completed and lastly what is your plan? Leaving college without a plan is like shooting yourself in the foot. Try to look for the classes you liked and change your major. Don't delude yourself about the drop off of people like Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg. Yes they dropped out of college (good universities btw) but because they found their life purpose (business) . I think college is worth completing it, even if you don't like your major, the lesson you are going to learn are important ones. But also don't think that having a college degree is going to give you everything easy in life, you need to continue learning in life.

Everyone just watch this

I did the same. I don't deleted my account but I signed off of it in my phone. Did the same with twitter. I don't delete the account because I have some family and friends I care and they live far away. So I just enter in my pc once a week to check with family and send messages. I did it because the negative stuff that everyone posted about politics, fights, first world problems etc. I just feel better now and btw I spent all that time watching more self help videos, business videos, self mastery videos etc. Some times I catch myself entering in the app unconscious and when I see I have to log in I just feel bad for not being aware. BTW I remembered the video of Leo talking about anger part 2 and this is true: We are the problem when you realize that what you hate/get anger/dislike are things that you do, and you are. Check the video if you want to be more high conscious aware.

@Siim Land I was addicted to sugar and to junk food. I saw that video of Dr Jason Fung and after that I decided to start fasting so that same day I was off of my work (I move a lot in my work) I started a 24 hour fast that day and only completed 20 hours of fasting. It was (it were really) like coming out of an addiction. So after that day I did another 20 hours of fasting. After that I set up a regime by free days and work days. Monday/Free/Fasting 24 hours Tuesday/Free/Fasting 16 hours Wednesday/Work/Fasting 12 hours Thursday/Work/Fasting 12 hours Friday/Work/Fasting/12 hours Saturday/Work/12 hours Sunday/Free/ 12 hours I did this for the first 3 weeks then I changed to one meal per day when working and 2 meals when free except for Mondays that I do 24 hours fast. I could do that because I started Keto and could control better my hungriness. Some weeks I did 3 days of fasting on my 3 days off. I used to not fast while working because It is a fast paced job in a big company and I get dizzy while trying to do 24 hour fasting while working. But recently I started doing 1 day of fasting while working every week and 1 day when free. So I'm improving. Now I'm doing only one meal a day some days two (because my wife) and now I'm drinking Bulletproof coffee in the mornings when I work just for testing out different things.

I'm been doing Keto Diet with Intermittent Fasting and some weeks I do 1 or 2 days of Fasting. This is the best Diet/Life Style I had in a long time. I have energy and I don't feel like crap after eating. I started doing IF first and after researching more I find out about Keto. I have been doing Keto/IF for 3 months and I have lost 40lbs. I Recommend to everyone to read the book: The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung He was the one that convinced me to start doing fasting. I would put pictures of myself but I need to look for them in my phone and that is a lot of work. But you can check this tread in Reddit about Keto: https://www.reddit.com/r/keto/search?q=title%3A[Pics]&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all Here is a video of my hero Dr Jason Fung: