outlandish

@lostmedstudent perhaps I can add on a bit here. That sucks you ended up in the hospital. Careful with mushrooms, easy to overdo it with those. It sounds to me like you might be trying too hard to get something from your trip. I might be reading between the lines too much, and it's also hard to articulate what I'm getting at, but see if you can relax a little bit and try to let it flow without too much specific expectations. It's good to plant some intentions or desires for what you want out of your trip, but also be able to let go of all that and let the trip unfold naturally and unhindered. If that resonates with you, great, if not, discard. Also, 3 trips isn't that much really. It can take a while just to get used to the whole thing and learn how to navigate that headspace.

Just wanted to put in a plug for a book I'm reading right now that's very relevant for actualized.org people: Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin - Specifically check out the 2018 revised version, it's very relevant to today's world. It's all about financial independence, aligning your money life with your values, and deprogramming from cultural norms around earning and spending. I'm gaining a lot by reading this book, and I reckon a lot of other people on this forum will too. Cheers!

I don't know if LSD is really the best tool for the job of ego death. I'd definitely say 5-MeO-DMT is the ultimate ego-solvent. I've never had a full on ego-death experience on LSD. Lots of ego softenings, divine inspiration, endless precious insights into the nature of reality, society, ecology, self, music, art, etc etc... but it's only ever hinted towards the direction of total transcendence for me. Even on 400ug, I've only really orbited around the periphery of that quintessential mystical experience. OTOH I've definitely met a lot of people who've had that, so who knows. I think @TheAvatarState is correct that if you can handle a high enough dose, it probably goes there more readily, but there are so many side effects like ultra trippy visuals at that point, that it could be very distracting and confusing even. And it lasts so long, it could be very exhausting to trip that hard for 10-12h. LSD is a powerhouse Self Actualization tool. 5-MeO-DMT is the direct line to the mystical core. I'm not saying 5-MeO-DMT is superior, it's not like that. It's just that it does that job more precisely than any other substance I've encountered.

They're both amazing molecules! LSD is the promised one, the King of the psychedelics, a gift from god some would say. It plays a bit more with ego, paradoxically more ego dissolving as well as ego pumping. It is more self-important than AL-LAD which has it's pros and cons. It's hard not to take it seriously, even when it has you ROFLing. If you want to go balls deep and take a very large dose of a psychedelic, LSD is a better choice than AL-LAD because it seems to scale better as you get into the very high dose range. LSD has a huge track record and is one of the most studied psychoactives out there, as well as being one of the most explored "in the wild". I'd say LSD, by default, has a tendency to go deeper than AL-LAD. AL-LAD is more light-hearted, colourful, silly, shorter lasting. It is less potent than LSD so it's normal dosage range tends to be higher. AL-LAD is still quasi-legal in many parts of the world. It seems to get more confusing than LSD as you ramp the dosage up. It has much less history than LSD, so to be honest I think the world is still figuring this one out to some extent - although it's close enough to it's cousin LSD that it's not completely terra incognita. It's very sensual, bubbly, creative and humorous. It's more innocent and carefree than LSD. LSD seems like the default for self-enquiry, growth and so on, but AL-LAD has it's definite advantages as it comes with a lot less weight to it - and is "sort-of" legal in much of the world. Leo has talked a lot about AL-LAD and I agree that it's a fantastic tool for self-inquiry. LSD can be like the serious stern teacher, or the wise cracking zen master pointing you straight towards your highest calling. LSD might make you question everything and rock your world to the core. AL-LAD is more like that cute crush grabbing you by the hand and showing you the delicious marvels of existence. There are a lot of other very interesting lysergamides out there right now too, including MIPLA, ETH-LAD and the LSD prodrugs like 1a-LSD, 1p-LSD and 1b-LSD.

That sounds good to me - long enough that your system is pharmacologically clear, but still in the afterglow period. I think you could bump them even closer together without any fear of bad interaction issues, like the next day or even the same day once the ayahuasca has mostly worn off. You'll still have to surrender!! But it should be easier to surrender when you've prepared like that, feeling good and cleansed and all that. What kinds of doses and ROA have you tried with 5-MeO-DMT?

I've never taken ayahuasca or straight DMT, so I can only talk about it from a theoretical standpoint. The MAOI in the ayahuasca brew would intensify and prolong the 5-MeO-DMT, because the MAOI would slow the rate at which your body breaks down the 5-MeO-DMT. Also the DMT + 5-MeO-DMT would add to each other, making it a much stronger experience. Some traditional ayahuasca brews use 5-MeO-DMT containing plants in addition to the normal DMT and MAOI ones, and sometimes there are even sketchy things like deleriants in them. I would imagine the concentration of 5-MeO-DMT in these brews is pretty low. This is definitely really far out stuff to experiment with, and I definitely wouldn't recommend it. Even straight up ayahuasca seems a bit risky to me, which is part of the reason why I've never tried it. Before I ever tried 5-MeO-DMT I thought it would be good to take it in combo with another psychedelic like LSD or something, as a sort of launch pad. But now that I've done it quite a few times, I have no compulsion to combo it. I'd say just try it by itself first before bothering much with combo imaginings. There's nothing like it, and it doesn't need anything else added, I find.

You're not married 1. Yes definitely. 2. You could, it's not like you're married to your GF. You should still break up with your GF either way because you're not going to be happy settling for a backup plan, and neither will she. 3. Don't wait. She told you she's looking for another guy, her communication is clear. 4. If she rejects you and your friendship is real, it shouldn't break your friendship. It might even make it stronger, what could be more endearing? It can be awkward to have the cards on the table, but only if you make it so.

Plastic, other synthetic polymers, fire retardants. Not food at all, but plastics are everywhere in our food environment - packaging, containers, utensils. They tend to be hormone disruptors, BPA was just the tip of the iceberg, most polymers aren't well studied for safety. The only reason BPA got a bad rap is because people actually took a close look at it. Now we've switched to other plastics that are probably just as bad, but less studied.. It's almost impossible to completely avoid plastic these days, but you can at least avoid heating things up in plastic containers, plastic utensils, plastic water bottles. I reckon this is a major issue that we'll look back at in a few decades and be surprised how blind we were to it. It will look crazy, like how thinking about smoking in airplanes and doctors offices seems crazy to us now.

@Farnaby I had the exact question for my meditation teacher I'll relay his answer, intertwined with my own understanding and interpretation. Both are equally important, so it's good to focus on one, and then the other when you are practicing. Ultimately you'll bring them together and walk this balancing act of doing one and then the other almost simultaneously - focus vs. openness, keeping perfect balance in the center. You can't have authentic deep experience when your mental strongman is standing rigid over your thoughts, forcing you into focusing on your breath. On the other hand when you let your mind drift, you end up in monkey mind ville, or mushy dreamy land and start falling asleep, way off course from being present in your meditation. Ideally you want to be completely still, effortlessly in the now. As you progress you'll get better at using the tools of focus and letting go to arrive in that stillness with lighter and lighter applications of these tools. My teacher's recommendation was to focus on one aspect in one sit, and then on the other in the next sit. Or play it by ear and work on what you think needs the most sharpening. I've heard people say it's better to focus on the breath by default, as strengthening this ability to concentrate usually requires the most work - vs. letting go, which is by nature not something you "work" to do. Vipassana meditation really seems to emphasize the focus/concentration side, and a lot of people seem to gravitate to that path. It's kind of a yin/yang thing, appropriate considering Leo's most recent video.

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Oh wow I didn't realize this was such an ancient post. I wonder too @Aeris

Good job quitting weed! Luckily it was just weed that you got into and not something harder and more addictive like opioids, meth or alcohol. Any of those drugs would have been much more destructive and difficult to quit. You're already most of the way there, you've done all of the really hard decisions and actions already. Stick with it and keep making the good decisions one day at a time. You're actually doing really well, you're sober, you've somehow come out of your 20s with a graduate (or undergrad?) degree, which is a lot more than many people have to show for their 20s. It's impressive that you woke up and made the changes you needed to. That is very inspiring, for real. Don't worry about your wasted time; that's all in the past now, and you've learned from your mistakes. You have TONS of time in your future. You've only spent about a decade of your adult life, you probably have at least 5 or 6 more decades. A very long life ahead of you, especially if you continue to live a healthier and healthier lifestyle. Just keep taking positive steps forward every day. Good job on waking up to your reality, and deciding to do something about it. You can be thankful that you live in a society that cares for you and is supporting you with social security. Try to use this to bootstrap your life, find any shit job to get yourself started again in life, you will be more proud of your money and yourself. Work your way up. You're actually doing awesome right now. Keep going!

Maybe you need to take a proper full dose Out of curiosity are you microdosing LSD or what? What's your schedule and dose range?

@kieranperez cool video, thanks.

I guess everyone reacts to the experience differently. Personally I find it so paradoxical and out-of-bounds that I'm pretty much befuddled by how to even begin to talk about it. I'm finding it difficult to talk about talking about it. I think fundamentally you can't actually talk about it with any accuracy, but some people have the ability to F the ineffable, and point people along in roughly the right direction. Sometimes you have to walk around the world to come back home. I like the olympic analogy too because it's perfectly the opposite of enlightenment, but also very related. I think we see eye to eye that enlightenment is not an achievement. By it's very definition, enlightenment isn't something that can be achieved. My big critique of this community is that many people seem to be chasing the gold medal of enlightenment, wondering how they can get it, why isn't so-and-so fully enlightened yet even though (s)he's been meditating/self-enquiring/dosing for X years, who is and who is not enlightened, (humblebrag) look at me and how enlightened I am. I honestly think it's better to not even bother talking enlightenment because it just gives most people the wrong idea and becomes a stumbling block. Any buddhist community I've come into contact with or participated in doesn't really talk about enlightenment, and wisely so IMO. Yet, if we sit on our ass and don't even bother trying to move forward, a life can be wasted away. Yet... paradoxically, it's sitting on our ass, without interfering, that's exactly the prescription for realization. Similarly an athlete who fantasizes about standing on the olympic podium will miss all the moments, all the "nows" in their training, their performance that could lead them to the podium, and they'll get quickly frustrated at how much work is involved in achieving that gold for "I". On the other hand, the greatest athletes have a great presence of being in the moments of training, in competition and games. They aren't thinking about gold at peak performance, and paradoxically that's the only way to get there. I can see how the thirst for enlightenment can be a motivator, so I try not to get my shirt in a knot too badly about all this. But sometimes I do get a bit grumpy about the topic

@whoareyou Yeah my apologies, I skimmed the thread pretty hard and totally misunderstood your position, and confused it with some other posts on this thread. I did watch the Sadhguru video at full attention, fwiw. In many ways I agree very much with what you're saying. In Leo's defence, he's doing a great job of navigating the ego traps that lie along this path of exploration. He's maintaining his humility. He's not perfect in this regard, but who is? It's extremely challenging to even begin to talk about this stuff without insinuating a hint of ego - because it's not all gone, and probably never can be. The easier thing to do would be to shut up and not talk about it. What I see him doing right is that he's not putting himself above anyone else, he doesn't think he has the exclusive answers in any way, and most importantly he's sharing his explorations in a very open way. He's probably correct that he has reached levels (maybe bad choice of language) of consciousness few humans ever have. I take this as a simple matter of fact, and not an achievement that he's waving around. There aren't too many humans in the history of the planet that have taken a month off from the mundane to repeatedly bomb 5-MeO-DMT. There might be a tiny bit of waving it around so that he can share the experience, but not too much "look at how great I am". He's presenting it as: "This is what it's like when a human takes a month off from default life to meditate and take 5-MeO-DMT" rather than "I'm so good at meditating and taking 5-MeO-DMT that I got enlightened (and you didn't)". This path can be criticized as chasing your own tail or navel gazing for sure. It's hard to seek for something higher without striving and having ego-ambitions. But it's an interesting game. It would be much simpler to go to church and have faith in god, or just be an atheist and do science, or just be Joe Sixpack, and that's a valid path for many people. But he's checking out this other route and letting the world know, and I think that's cool. Maybe it's just spiritual entertainment. You could criticize athletes in an analogous way, for their ego ambitions in seeking a gold medal at the olympics. Why are they chasing their own tail trying to be better? They need to be happy with who they are, and not run around doing this and that to get faster. You'd think that the top athletes on the podium would have the worst ego issues. Some of them do for sure, but the very best athletes do make it to the top of the podium with extreme humility and ego put to the side. They aren't doing it for themselves, or to prove themselves, but to see what is possible, for their countrymen, for god, for peace. The world would be a more boring place if no one played this game of trying to better themselves and simultaneously leave the ego aside. I see the same thing with artists, musicians, DJs. At the beginning and middle you see a lot of really strong egos going around with something to prove. As you go "higher up" the ones that are left often have managed to transcend the ego, and have left that stuff to the side. But you also see the other extreme, there are some real assholes at the top as well! Anyways, a bit of a meander, thanks for reading.

@OmniYoga @whoareyou How does this debate matter? If you find out that Leo is "enlightened" will you elevate his teachings to a higher level? If you find out that he is not, will you be disappointed and toss them in the garbage and go find the next guru who qualifies? Please explain why it's worth the energy trying to discern if Leo (or anyone for that matter) is enlightened?

Great topic, and response from @Shadowraix ! A few points: In general, don't actually try changing anything *while* you're tripping. Leave that phone call, plane ticket purchase, career change, possessions purge, love letter, or whatever until you've come well back down to earth. As you're coming down from your trip, it's a really good time to reflect on the trip, take notes mentally or on paper about what the big themes were, what you can take away, and what you'd like to do with these insights. Over the next few days, weeks, months, try to come back to the material of this trip and observe if you're satisfied in the direction you're on. Some of your insights could seem silly and discardable by this point, some will be absolute life enhancing gems. Do the stuff that you intended to, that still feels right in your guts and heart. If you've had a big profound trip, sometimes it can be useful to "check in" at a really low dose later on, just to get back into that view-from-above that can really enhance your ability to integrate.

It's an irrelevant topic. Are Leo's teachings helpful to you? It doesn't matter who is and who isn't enlightened.

There are some Iboga treatment centers in BC, Canada. Iboga tends to be used in treatment of opioid (and other drugs) addiction, but it's a visionary plant used traditionally in some central African tribes. It's not without health risks, so it's more suitable for dire circumstances like deep addiction, than for healthy self-actualizers: https://ibogajourney.ca/ http://sacredsoultherapy.ca/

@moon777light no one here has any idea about you, your family, culture, situation. I can imagine many scenarios where it would be in the best interests of a kid in their 20s to have a lot of input from their parents in their lives, and this is coming from someone in a very libertarian culture. It's really up to you and your family how much control you give them. Anyways, like everyone's saying, you'll get a lot more out of the retreat if you can completely put your phone down, and not have that preoccupation.

There really is.. the Himalayas are amazing, well the parts I've seen, which is just a fragment of the range. Roof of the world for real. The geography is so raw and huge.

These types of retreats usually have channels for communication should an emergency come up. There should definitely be a way for your parents to contact you via a phone number or email at the retreat should the need arise, and vice versa. Perhaps this will satisfy them so they can respect the full 10 days of silence/separation for you. If they have this number/contact info, and know you can get in touch with them if need be, it might make them more comfortable. But as Esoteric said, it's not prison. It's a concentration camp!

Yes vipassana retreat for sure if you're new, even if you're not new a group retreat is recommended. If you know for sure that you want to do a solo retreat, that's when you do one, otherwise I'd recommend a group setting.

The devil is the fallen angel, a self-determining fragment of god, a part of the whole.