outlandish

The Power Of Letting Go

Don't look for techniques, I don't think there are too many because it just comes down to practice. Just talk to girls more and more and eventually it's less of a big deal. Talk to girls, slow down, talk to girls, be chill. If things get awkward just remember that they don't have to remain awkward. Awkwardness is a tension, and if you can come up with a stupid joke it can break that tension, sometimes a sense of humour helps a lot. Or it could make it even more awkward and then you have a great story to tell about that time you were so fucking awkward. It's normal to have some awkward social interactions, just move on. Just make sure that if you're getting awkward that you are being non-threatening. That's the most important thing. Stay aware of her space, don't close her in or anything like that. If you're awkward and clearly without ill intention, some girls will take it as a compliment. I'm old and have spent so much time around really beautiful women, dated a few really hot women, and have an extremely attractive wife, but I still get awkward around attractive women sometimes. So it never goes away completely. It's fine, you can embrace the tension, it's there for a reason, because there is energy, and then just let it go (see Leo's vid!) as much as you can. And as much as you can't, that's ok too, it's part of being human.

I think your "hardcore christian" and cultural background has made you very scared of being gay, and that has built it up into a bit of a fetish for you. You might be a bit gay, or fully gay, or maybe not even gay at all but built up this complex. It sounds like you're going to have to experiment to really find out what you're into. It's going to be hard given your cultural programming, but I think once you give up resistance and accept the possibility you're going to have a much easier time. It's OK if you're gay, it's also OK if you're not, it's OK to not have to define it either way, and just be into what you're into.

I think there are exceptions. Dating isn't the same level of commitment as marriage, and there are situations where a relationship needs to be broken off, new love be the catalyst for this to happen. About 20 years ago I met the woman who I knew was the love of my life, but we were both non-single, and I knew the time wasn't right anyways. 5 years later life brought us back into one another's world. Again, we were both dating other people, but both in unsatisfactory relationships. We had an attraction that was so strong and right that we ended up leaving our partners and coming together. Now we are celebrating 10 years of marriage and beautiful children together. It happens. I feel bad about the hearts we hurt, but we are all friends still, so I think we made the best out of a difficult situation.

Cut out the mountain dew, cut out the factory food like TV dinners, pizza rolls, mac n cheese, packaged foods, etc., and cook for yourself from whole ingredients. Try to not take Ibuprophen. Pay attention if Gingko is actually helping you, it makes me feel like shit. And get some bloodwork done from your doc, including looking at iron.

Great analogy! There's too much of an idea floating around that psychedelics are a magic pill that will do the work for you.

Get your iron levels checked out. What's your diet like?

I'm glad you submitted your report! Yeah it's better, I'm mostly teasing, but one of Girzo's points was that it's inconsistent to call DMT "n,n-DMT" if you don't also call 5-MeO-DMT "5-MeO-n,n-DMT". The n,n part is redundant, but everyone seems to use it when talking about DMT. I know why people do that, but it's for the wrong reason. The correct name for n,n-DMT is simply DMT. Same with MPT, we don't say n,n-MPT, we just call it MPT.

@nowimhere I already fixed your post, now you've made it more confusing again ?ahh oh well.. afaik you don't need an account at erowid to submit a report, you can just do it here: https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp_submit.cgi You could also post it at bluelight, which is a great repository for trip reports: https://www.bluelight.org/xf/forums/trip-reports.40/ (but you do have to have an account there to post I think)

Maybe because they were aliens! JK I'm trolling. I can only really answer for the Buddha, or at least our modern day conception of him. To the Buddha things like gods, supernatural beings etc were not relevant. He didn't specifically preach on their existence or non-existence. His concern was really with the human condition and what we can do about it. Aliens would fall under that same category.

Thank you Girzo! The n,n-DMT thing drives me crazy but that one I just have to let go of because it's become so standard now... I'm going to edit in your corrections. @nowimhere great report! I hope you've submitted your report to Erowid to add to the public record for this rare tryptamine!

If you're not too worried about money you could get into cross-disciplinary art doing live video visualization/animation mixed with live dance and music. Check out regional burns and the festival scene to find avenues of expression for this kind of thing. This could lead into stage production for concerts etc if you needed to make a career out of it.

What if, what if, what if. The thing is, drugs wear off, and then you're back to baseline. At that point you have the privilege of being able to look at your trip, look at your life, figure out what you want to change, if anything at all. You can asses whats delusional about your default mode, what was delusional about your trip. You might be surprised to realize how much was fucked up about your previous "normal" life. For example, when you trip on psychedelics, one common insight for beginners is to notice how little attention we pay to the people around us, and how self-centred we are. That might be something you already know intellectually, but when you trip it can become extremely poignant, you observe it deeply and first hand. So you come out of that trip with this deep realization of how damn self-centred we normally are. Were you deluded and fucked up more before, or after that insight?

"Cognitive biases are systematic patterns of deviation from norm or rationality in judgment, and are often studied in psychology and behavioral economics." By studying our cognitive biases, we can become aware of our mental blindspots and shortcomings. (source "Every Single Cognitive Bias in One Infographic": https://www.visualcapitalist.com/every-single-cognitive-bias/) (Ironically, that title must be some kind of Cognitive Bias, thinking we have the complete picture, when in fact we do not.) Wikipedia list of cognitive biases: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cognitive_biases Leo hit the nail on the head with the uber Congitive Bias he discussed in the Self-Bias video. Self Bias encapsulates many of these more specific cognitive biases. http://actualized.org/articles/self-bias

@Conscious life you can see it in much higher resolution here: https://www.visualcapitalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/cognitive-bias-infographic.html

Absolutely not too old for this. I know so many people who are your age or older who are running 40 mile + weeks, men and women. They are some of the fittest, happiest, healthiest, most glowing people I know.

The Americas... Canada is very liberal (compared to most other countries - but still has a long way to go) when it comes to psychedelics. It varies regionally, but Federal police have been known to turn a blind eye to magic mushrooms being sold openly, for example. Many "research chemical" psychedelics have not been bothered to be banned, and the punishments for possession of banned substances like LSD are very light compared to other countries. Mushrooms will probably become legalized in Canada within a decade, and I'd wager LSD is next. Brazil is surprisingly liberal with ayahuasca and magic mushrooms. It's a weird place though, and you'd really have to find the right community. Many people there will think psychedelics are demonic etc. Mexico is similar in that way, but there is probably even more traditional use of psychedelics there. In fact, all three classes of psychedelics (phenethylamine, tryptamine, and lysergamide) have their roots in traditional plant medicines that were/are used in Mexico, and Salvia on top of that. You could say that Mexico's gift to the world is psychedelic (and chile and chocolate!) Bolivia, Peru are on the map too for sure. Even the USA has some very liberal pockets: Coarsely, Cascadia (Cali, Oregon, Washington) tends to be especially loose around this kind of thing. The bay area, Denver, Austin are some particularly liberal pockets that come to mind. Any big city in the USA would have psychedelic-friendly communities embedded within it where it would be functionally safe to be a psychedelic kind of person. Which of these places is the best intersection between spirituality and psychedelic? That's hard to answer. They are all different. Outside of the Americas, probably Europe in general is a good place to look to. You might be surprised with some parts of Africa as well, I've heard stories of pockets of psychedelic activity in S. Africa and Kenya, and of course Iboga has been used for centuries/millenia in central Africa.

Aiyaiyai.. That's tough. I've been around a few people like that, maybe not that far out, but in that direction. I don't really know the answer here. Maybe it's like waiting for a storm to pass. It's really good you have your eye on him. Hopefully he will realize that he needs some help, and that he knows he can turn to someone when he needs it. It's a tough situation. Be safe, make sure the people around him are safe too.

@kieranperez Yeah, I definitely think you should experiment with microdosing. Experiment is the key, play around with the dosage and frequency to dial it in appropriately for yourself, and then carefully observe if it's beneficial for you or not. Check it out, see if you like it. A lot of people with the kind of situation you describe report that they've had benefits from microdosing, so I think you're a good candidate! Personally microdosing has made some of my neuroses glaringly obvious, and helped me to move past them or improve on them. It's also given me some very specific insights and permanent breakthroughs, mostly kind of mundane stuff, but some "medium" level stuff too. I also just really like microdosing, it's fun to turn up your day just a little bit once in a while, see things through a different (clean!) lens. It's nice for running too!

I dated a few girls that were more blue-orange while I was probably more green-orange. It was fun and no regrets, but they didn't last. We remained friends after, and I can see that they kept moving in a trajectory towards green so I think part of their attraction to me was reaching towards their own changes they wanted for themselves. And for my part, I benefitted from some grounding to the realities of blue and orange, which often people in green think they leave behind, but really you need to integrate as well. What I'm getting at here is that it's not necessarily a bad thing, it can be fun, and it might be part of growth for everyone involved. But if you're looking for that long term relationship, you'll have a better match if you find someone you're more aligned with in that dimension. I don't think it's worth being too picky or analytical about it though, we're all different in many ways, and SD is just one lens. It's easy make mistakes in where we place ourselves and others on the scale anyways.

No not at all

There is a misunderstanding about how psychedelics work. They aren't causative like that. It's not like taking some penicillin and making the bacteria go away, or taking a paracetemol and having your temperature go down. They aren't really zen in a pill like people sometimes think, especially people who've never taken them. Generally speaking, psychedelics are generic mind-amplifiers. Each psychedelic shines in different areas of the mind which it amplifies, but as a general pattern they are context-free. Psychedelics don't care if you have enlightening experiences, they are more like tools for opening the mind to new modes of being. So when you take a psychedelic, there's still work to do. If you want to use the psychedelic for enlightening yourself, it's something you have to work on. It can help you open the door in a big way, but it's still you who has to choose which door to open and to walk yourself through it. And when the psychedelic effects have dissipated and you find yourself back in your mundane shoes, it's up to you what you do with that. Maybe it's a bit like weights in the gym. They are very effective tools for getting stronger. You can get strong without them, but they work really well in that path. But it's still you who has to go to the gym and lift, and face the challenge. They weights don't do it for you.

When I clicked on this I thought you'd say you were 50 or something... lol. You're definitely not too old to get into DJing and production, not at all. No matter what your age though, keep in mind that there are a lot of people who have this dream. You're going to have some extraordinary combination of the following if you want to make it into your career: -extremely hard work, motivation and discipline -talent (which you can build up with practice, this is not an inherent trait) -social skills -luck

Good plan, I think it's a good idea for you to take a break after those back-to-back trips. Those are some hefty doses! I'd recommend taking a couple of weeks off.

When you plug it the timeframe will be stretched out much longer, so it will give you more chance to surrender to the experience before it just blasts past you. Your heart will race again, when that happens it's a good thing, go into it, relax into it, accept it. It's your being thrilling because something very profound is coming. Find the depth of that and allow it to be. Allow, accept, release, be.