Avi

I try and drink a lot of tea! Green tea is my favorite.

@abrakamowse Indeed.

I'm on day 11 of no PMO and I have never felt this good in my life before. I feel like a man.

What's working for me is the slow implementation of habits... i.e. reading, meditation, personal development work etc. What I mean is slowly introducing one thing at a time into your life. If you try and do everything at once it will become overwhelming and you will give up. Start with reading, it's the easiest to introduce.

@Zephyr I would also like to add the definition of "exist".

@Lady Peacock I totally do this to. Maybe this can help... when you start to beat yourself up over it, become aware of the fact and go write it down along with the time that it happened. Keep that paper/journal in front of you or close by so that when it happens again you can keep writing it down. Now it could be that this beating yourself up over things is something much deeper than anything I can provide you. I urge you to then look inward and at daily life to see if there is something that might be triggering it. Sometimes you can find the truth in the most unexpected places. I think a combination of the above is what will work in letting go of this beating up of thy ego.

@Iulia I know this is probably a hard time for you but realize the truth in this situation. You have the ability to change for the better.

@Lady Peacock Don't beat yourself up over it. Yes discipline and continuity are keys to your success but also know that experience you had is always around you. It's everywhere, like even right now. And everything that is happening in this moment is exactly is as it's suppose to be. Your awareness is on point.

When you don't have to ask anymore. Getting rid of the ego is the stripping away of all beliefs, assumptions, conclusions, and theories about the world we live in, including the world we live in. Getting rid of all definitions and meaning and throwing it into a fire and then realizing that fire doesn't really exist and that the person "you" who threw everything into the fire doesn't exist either. Language can't explain it, "you" have to experience it for yourself. All of this isn't true anyways. Hope I helped.

The Book of Not Knowing, which I'm in the middle of right now is one of the best books I have every read. Every page so far is like staring into your soul.

@jjer94 What you said reminds me of the 10 pictures of the ox.

@Ayla you are everywhere. Just like the truth. This basically means you are the truth.

I think he had the potential to see the truth. Then again we all do.

@Stretch I'm in the same boat. On one side I am scared to let go of external validation because I feel like I need it. On the other side I know that deep down inside that all the validation and happiness that I need is inside of me. I guess I'm stuck a little in between?

Your ego will constantly try and trap you, it's really subtle and it may take weeks to notice it but when you do you actually feels really good. The biggest trap is feeling like you are "detached" from the body, among many other things. Oh my god, how many times have I fallen into that trap. Even right now I need to remind myself that it's not real progression. Real detachment isn't a feeling, it can't be described by words, it's not logical, scientific, philosophical, nor is it a combination of any of these. It's Being. Just Being. It's really simple, but not easy at all. EDIT: It's an experience you need see for yourself.

Great point. I would like to add that our culture has a lot to do with it. All the social conditioning, belief systems, conclusions, judgments, and assumptions we make is all mental activity that has been collected throughout our lives. Once we start to explore that all of these are concepts that we've made up, we can start to slowly peel away from everything to experience being. Side note: We also made up language so all of what you're reading right now isn't real and has been socially construed as well.

In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs we see on the bottom level of "Physiological" - sex and on the level of "Love/Belonging" - sexual intimacy. The answer might be obvious but what's the difference between sex and sexual intimacy? EDIT: I thought out putting it in the Dating, Relationships, and Sexuality page but I felt like this was more appropriate here since it deals with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It's all about being actualized. Let me know, I can move it.

As I delve more and more into enlightenment, books, research, meditation I am starting to freak out more and more but also at times I feel at peace and confident. Does anyone else get like this? Is this normal? I get this feeling like I'm not real and then I freak out. Just looking for guidance.

No thought is "healthy" or "unhealthy", a thought is just a thought, nothing more and nothing less. As you practice becoming aware of your judgments you will start to just let them come and go. Awareness is the mighty tool for becoming less judgmental.

A lot of amazing points have been made on this thread already. I would like to add also, be careful of the judgments you make on your judgments as they can be equally harmful.

@Sarah_Flagg I am currently reading Why Women Have Sex and I'm about half way through it right now. It speaks to the evolutionary standpoint of mating and relationships. There is a chapter in which the authors talk about women in their own social circle who get jealous of other women who have sex all the time. I was curious to know if you find it attractive if other women flirt with your husband in front of you or if you would get jealous?

@Rita Ah yes, I totally understand. There are men in your life but not all of them are sexual but some of them fulfill other parts of your life.

Hey Rita! This is super interesting to read. So are you saying that you would want 4 different men to fulfill each area? I'm just curious because I'm currently reading a book about polygamous relationships so I'm curious on your view.

@abrakamowse Thanks! Haha

I am so sorry for your loss. When I started to and still do introspection I often contemplate about death. I always seem to get to a point in which I ask myself "What's the point if I'm going to die anyways?" "What will all matter?" I know this sounds pessimistic but I'm asking these questions from a very non-judgmental way because I honestly do not know the answers. I suppose I need to keep meditating and introspection Do you every have these thoughts and how has your perspective changed after your loss?