Avi

@Boss I might be repeating this but that's okay Have you ever noticed the harder you try and forget something the more it stays with you? Don't resist it. Accept it and feel it. This takes practice. This also reminds me of a quote "We don't build statues to remember, we build them to forget." I thought this was appropriate in your context.

@Niki I'm the exact same way sometimes. Great point and thank you for sharing.

I'm going to try and break this down but know that I can't convey what "letting go" actually is because "you" have to experience it. So you want to let go. Notice the thoughts and emotions that enter your mind. What are they? Do they actually mean anything? Who is actually doing the thinking? Are you making them come up or is there something else that is causing your mind to bring up certain thoughts and emotions? There is a bit of introspection that is needed before you can start to let some things go. Now during meditation a lot of people will say they can't stop thinking and keep there mind clear. This is normal. Notice that you can't stop thinking and that thoughts keep coming to you. It's inevitable that a thought will come up so try your best to be as aware as possible. With practice you will see that your awareness will start to take over and say "that's just a thought", I can let it go and come back to being present. The real kicker is you are not you and the thoughts and emotions that you identify with as "you" is just a self-fabricated version of yourself that you made up in your mind. This is the ultimate "letting go". Start with introspection and awareness as first steps, they are the tools of letting go.

I did not know this...

I've been eating a lot of carrots recently.

Does anyone use Leo's videos as a jumping off point? I watch the videos and then I start to do my own research, note taking, reading, practice, etc... @Leo Gura is this a effective way to do the necessary personal development work?

I've noticed that every time I go on Facebook I become extremely frustrated, agitated, and annoyed by everything that is on my feed. I'm trying to delve into why this is so. Does anyone else feel like that?

After a specific amount of time "you" start to see that being present isn't a state, or an expectation that you need to achieve. It was always there, it will always be there. "You" have to align yourself with being. I'm just at the start of my journey and it's comforting to know that it's already there. Great point JeffR1.

@Niki Why do you think it's hard for some men to approach a women they think is attractive?

Marriage is something our culture has made up. It's a concept that has been pushed in everyone's face, especially women. Marriage = happiness is how we like to think of it or rather "If I get married I will be happy for the rest of my life." It makes a little more sense to say that happiness leads to marriage, not the other way around. What I mean when I say "happiness leads to marriage" is 2 people are already happy, separately and apart from each other. When they come together, nothing has changed. They are already content with or without the person. And then they can decide if they want to get married or not. You see marriage isn't the goal, it's the by-product of your contentment, satisfaction, and fulfillment. And it's only the by-product if you so choose it to be. You don't have to be married to be connected with someone else or love them.

Los Angeles, California

Try and not to place judgments on your judgments. Just recognize them when they arise and let them go. It takes a lot of awareness and practice to get to absolutely no judgement on others. The first step is recognize and become aware of it.

Being authentic is such an interesting topic. What does "being authentic" actually mean though? We all have different definitions but the main one is "being the real you". Well what does that mean? It could possibly mean that in every situation that you ever encounter in your life you need to express your beliefs, assumptions, and conclusions onto a specific situation. What a task! The "truth" is you can't be authentic. It's impossible and further more trying to be authentic is really also being not authentic at the same time. Does that make sense? You change every second that goes by, small changes, but over time you can notice it. Brain chemical move from here to there, the clothes you wear change, the hair style, and the beliefs and judgements you make change all the time. It's even happening right now in your sub-conscious. How can you be authentic if you are always changing? Try to not focus on being authentic. Instead focus on just "being". In the words of Leo, "Well Avi! What does that mean!?" When I say focus on just "being", I mean focus on your awareness and introspection of your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself why am I like this? Why am I feeling this? Who am I really? Who is speaking right now? Who isn't speaking right now? Why am I here? Who am I again? I know it sounds crazy but from my own experience I have become a little more peaceful and real with "myself". As for erasing the worry out of your mind I urge you to step out of your worry and just observe yourself with the worry. Notice how you can separate yourself from your thoughts, after some practice of course. Over the course of years you eventually realize that there is no mind, just being. I hope I gave some insight. I am still learning myself so please if anyone has feedback for rrodriguez11 or myself, please don't hesitate to post below.

I have some really great tools for you to use to listen to other people. I picked these up through comedy improvisation. You have to practice this though. 1) Stand in front of a mirror and just look at yourself for 5 minutes. Every 30 seconds say a sentence. Doesn't matter what it is. "I really enjoyed the pancakes this morning." Take a 5 second pause. Then next 30 seconds say something else. Repeat over and over again. The goal is to get your brain to take pauses when interacting with someone else. 2) When in said conversation, repeat what the other people has just said. For example: "Ya! I just came back from India and it was such an amazing experience!" You: "You just came back from India!? No way, tell me about your experience. I want to hear about it." Don't repeat everything they say, it will come off as mocking them. Use it sparingly. 3) Take 2 second pauses in conversations with other people. This might seems weird but actually it isn't. This will also help your brain slow down. These are just some of the tools I've picked up. Hope it helps.

NoFap is extremely interesting. If a man cuts out PMO (Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm) from his daily life then there will be some serious withdraw symptoms at first. The general consensus is cutting out PMO for 90 days is needed in order to reboot the brain and balance it back to the pre-porn "brain". 90 days is an average that most people have generally agreed upon. There is so much to this topic and I would like to redirect everyone to some very helpful websites that have really helped a lot of people with PMO or just P in general. Make sure to read through it so you can decide for yourself if this is worth it. YourBrainOnPorn: http://yourbrainonporn.com/ Reddit NoFap: https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/

This is a great way of putting it. I want to add on to this. Every second that passes by we change. Obviously you can't tell, but over time you can see. We are not the same person and we will not be the same person in the future. But it's not about change in ourselves. We can't define ourselves by our actions, thoughts, and beliefs because those are all external and/or conceptual to us. The real being lies underneath all of that. Key point: Our society tells us that our actions, thoughts, and beliefs = who I am. Not true because our society isn't real either. It's all made up. Definition of ego: All your past actions, thoughts, and beliefs pilled into one's mind so that the mind can go back and say "hey, this is me!"

"Why Are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent of everything you do is for yourself --- and there isn't one." --- Wei Wu Wei This quote is in a book I am currently reading, The Book of Not Knowing by Peter Ralston. This particular quote speaks to the self in our culture. He describes how our assumptions, beliefs, and conclusions about others and our selves seem to make us believe that this is who we really are. But there isn't a you, it's all made up. The real you lies beneath all of that. The being. I really got some insight into "myself" after reading this part of the book and doing some introspection.

I agree with everyone else! Thanks Leo for creating this forum! I'm excited to get some great discussions rolling and expand my mind. But since the "me" doesn't exists I guess it would be more appropriate to say the mind. Haha!