Loreena

love you too (all boyz and girlz) <3

Why is it bothering you so much. People of all ages can be disrespectful. Maybe they have something in their mind. Sometimes people can act in certain ways out of misunderstanding and bias. You will also find a lot of good people everywhere. You just need to look harder. Be nice and respectful to everyone irrespective of tgeir age. And how they behave is not a part of your karma so you should simply not bother about it. That is their karma, they should take care of it.

What is keeping me away Laziness Inability to deal with weaknesses

Your external appearance is what defines your identity externally. But there are many facets to your inner personality. When a person asks you to describe yourself, you will probably have something to say about yourself. Those words in your mind define who you are. You have thoughts and emotions constantly emerging in your mental matrix. When you have greater self awareness, you are more aware of them, therefore also more capable of discerning them and understanding and controlling them. But once again if you are referring to everything inside of you as ego, then detachment from it also means losing the sense of self and who you are. In that case you are still aware of a body that exists. But the mind never completely stops thinking, so you can always be aware of your thoughts. If you detach from your sense of self then there is no real self and therefore no real awareness. It depends on your interpretation of what that 'self' is. This can be pretty confusing like going round and round in a circle. It all comes down to your interpretation of self. If you currently identify with who you are, then your self awareness is measured by the extent to which you are aware of how you are, what you do, what you feel or think. Greater self awareness means better control and autonomy, better understanding, better connection to your deeper instincts and so on. But this is just the practical way of looking at it.

One can put it this way. We may not have free will but rather free choice or options. So you can choose what you wish to do right now but you cannot control the outcome of the present situation/event. There is no free will. We do not have control over our circumstances. But we have freedom to make decisions and choices. However those choices are limited. We cannot dictate the nature and the number of those choices. Again those are dictated by many factors in including circumstances. We have to operate within a narrow margin of those choices and make the best we can out of whatever we choose.

@Evilwave Heddy No more. It's resolved now but not sure if this will reoccur. In case if it happens again, I will have no other option but just wait till the website becomes accessible and server issues gets resolved

@Evilwave Heddy I was not even able to access actualized.org so could not fill out contact form so I was looking for an alternate email where he could be reached and informed about it. I also msged him but he gave the only option to use Contact page which you obviously cannot use when the remote host server is not responding.

Along with a gratitude journal, the above technique also works great.

@SLICKHAWK So true. Thanks for sharing brother.

@Evilwave Heddy Same happened to me. But how did you mail him ? Which mail id ? Without getting access to site how to mail or contact?

Husband : Happy Valentines Day my love ! Wife : Where is my gift ? Husband : My sweet honey, love is like absolute infinity, it cannot be captured in words. A gift is a need of the egoic mind. There is no self.... blablabla Wife : Ughh!!

Such a beautiful gesture @Peace and Love So nice of you.

@ajasatya your thoughts (and insights) on this are wonderful and true. Very meaningful and insightful. Even I think same.Thanks for sharing.

It could be the anxiety of trying something new.

@Life Coach Who does that ?

To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment. To heal a wound you need to stop touching it,

Are you facing difficulty in breathing or feeling anxious ?

You seem like a cat that is precariously treading along a narrow path, curious yet scared !

I sympathize with you. I have been in similar situations. Trust me it's way harder than you think. Initially you always blame yourself. It's a natural human reaction. I did this too. It takes time to realize that some people out there just do this, apparently for no good reason. Even if you try to do your best and manage to avoid mistakes, they would still pick out something to bully you for. The problem gets worse if they get successful in sabotaging your career, life, goals. We assume that everyone should help each other, it's a natural instinct in genuine and simple people. But sadly the world doesn't work like that. Just too many scavengers and wolves out there to eat you. Humanity can never be truly one in my humble opinion. That is just a utopian fantasy. There is just too much division, ego conflicts, hatred, jealousy, toxicity for oneness to materialize. And do not think that your worldview is cynical even if you think that humanity is doomed because what you think or assume is coming from your direct observation of reality, so nothing wrong with that. It creates a cognitive dissonance in the mind because it is in direct conflict with your idealistic thinking. Actually what you are thinking is good (those thoughts or ideas come from good intentions) but those thoughts clash with hardcore reality. How would an enlightened person handle this then? .. Well this is the real deal. An enlightened person would not waste his time or care too much about bullies. He will focus on his growth. He will get along with those who resonate with him. He will keep it positive and not let all the negativity bring him down. But this requires lot of emotional and mental effort. Revenge is no good. Things only get worse when you engage with negative people. They will become successful in what they intended to do. Some people may not have real intentions to be unpleasant with you. They may just have an annoying and bullying nature. It's nice to imagine yourself crushing your attackers but sometimes those attackers don't back down. They could get stronger and vicious with time. They could try new tactics. and then it all becomes a frustrating game and you come to realize that you invested too much of your time and emotions into fighting them off and it turned out to be futile. The best thing is to avoid them because there are more important things to do in life than wasting your energy on a pack of wolves. But if they are really getting on your nerves or causing more trouble, than you need to confront them and use your own strategies and tactics to protect your interests and goals from being sabotaged. The ideal strategy is to be somewhere in the middle of the spectrum between passive and aggressive. Being too passive with them gives them the wrong hint and they begin to perceive you as a weakling. Being too aggressive means you begin to lose your inner peace. But if you think that dealing with them is just too much work, and if it's not your cup of tea, then just ignore them altogether as though you don't give a damn and continue to remain single mindedly focused on your endeavors. In the end, you can keep one thing in mind. People will be people. But you shouldn't lose yourself in this world of crazy petty people.

The earth is indeed round

You are a wonderful woman. try to be strong and let go. Don't allow yourself to break down. It takes so much to be a mom. You could tell them a little later when you begin to feel more balanced and alright. Just let the dark clouds pass away. Focus on your emotional healing right now. if you are strong and if you keep yourself strong, only then will you be able to keep it all together and take care of your kids. Best wishes on your journey.

Really good thoughts. In fact different roles help us to discover different facets of a personality. They bring out genuine self expression. Sometimes we may remain buried under too many roles. In that case it may be difficult to discover who we really are. But once we have identified and separated that role from our original selves, it can be fun to play it again. You could even use it as a theme in your life, donning a different role each time and experiencing the fun in it, the way you do in creating art. I feel its like looking at a prism from different angles. Exploring your alter ego and defining it for yourself. When you identify your natural roles, you understand yourself even better. Its like expression, like art. Your desires, feelings, instincts, experiences, all colouring that blank canvas to form a a distinct art. Now freeing yourself from it is another thing. Someone may look at a vampire or dracula as negative and you may look at it as something protective or positive. You bring a fresh perspective to that role. Exploration of different roles can be fascinating. Otherwise, sometimes we just get stuck in a dull mundane life. Thats why movies or dramas, plays are interesting and catch our fancy. Because we get to live different characters through a myriad of roles. If all characters were same, we would be bored.

Get into a positive state of mind. Once you feel confident, you could explore stuff that you can discuss about. Read books, articles, watch movies, hang out with other friends. Once you get more social and creative, ideas will pop on their own. You can then find interesting topics and ideas to discuss with her. Keep your mind open.