MsNobody

@OBEler dude he is suicidal, we take psychedelics to enhance sober reality, not to run away from it. You need a good solid foundation to go far, if you are not stable in normal reality psychedelics will fuck you real bad. It shocks me that no one is talking about the pink elephant in the room. To ascend you need to descend into the body first, doing several doses of 5meo is not compassionate with the process of the body. The body is the one leading the way, our mind is already there. He will end up getting sick, which apparently is already happening otherwise he wouldn’t be in such a state of agony looking for a miracle in a substance. He would benefit most from a hug and a human support system than from hammering his ego with the most powerful substance known to man. It doesn’t take much to foresee where he is going towards. It doesn’t matter if he puts all the fluff in his words and describes it as enlightenment. What matters is how you treat yourself, the level of self love you have embodied, the compassion you have with your own process and your body’s process. Anything else is bs.

You are talking about 5meo like an evangelical talks about God. There is no God guiding you, the God is you and it’s time for radical self responsibility, you are driving full speed into a wall and even tho you are aware of it, you accelerate anyways. If you go into it with naivety and cockiness it will bite you in the ass, ego backlash for sure. It took me almost a year to recover and integrate fully from my 5meo trips, a fragile ego doesn’t think clearly, to transcend the ego, first you need a healthy one. A fragile ego is the most dangerous thing, it’s death territory, and you are very well aware of it, don’t fool yourself, your life is in your hands, don’t talk like a fanatic saying that there is a force guiding you, take 100% responsibility, your life is precious. There is no path to enlightenment without self compassion, it’s not very compassionate to smash your ego over and over and expect it to reach bliss in the blink of an eye. We all know it’s not a smart way to do enlightenment work. You keep saying that if you surrender it will all be ok, knowing very well that you created this thread because deep inside you know that is the way to self destruction, if it was really part of a flow you would have done it already. Listen to the intuition that made you create this thread and be cautious. Our ego is not evil, it’s just a less developed part of our soul, it deserves respect and it serves a purpose. Give yourself a break, give your body a break. Taking 5meo is like trying to pass 220 volts into a machine that only comports 110, eventually it will break. You must be wise and prepare your body for the load. It’s not a coincidence that monks sit in stillness for years to get to where 5meo takes you. Psychedelics are an amazing tool, but you need to be smart on how to use it. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. Sending you love 💕

I want, I want, I want.. is this really about me? I dont hate my uncle, you missed the whole point. Im talking about my own feelings and how I feel in my body, it has nothing to do with others or if it was right or wrong. But you just end up revealing yourself, and to be honest you havent helped a bit, so I suppose you might be of better service somewhere else.

@How to be wise now I understand why youve been around for almost a decade and is not a mod lol You lack compassion and self love, only a human being in deep suffering is capable of hurting a child, by thinking something is not wrong it doesnt make it any less wrong. You are lost in darkness my friend, Im sorry for your pain.

@How to be wise have you had sex with children?

@How to be wise It didn't hurt me, I just felt sorry for you. If you would show your face instead of hiding behind a spiritual guru maybe I would be more affected, but so far (in my perception of course) you are but another typical spiritual person who thinks that has evolved but instead never actually built an ego to be able to transcend it.

@Beans Im very sorry you went through that, I share your pain. Men will never know what we feel until they incarnate as a woman. The worst thing we can do is be silent, so I speak up. Its my medicine. My parents are the same, Im the only one calling. I think we already have our answers. To heal we need to be away from the place we got hurt.

@How to be wise thank God we have evolved and now it is indeed an aberration. Im sorry that you are at this place internally that you need to come here and comment this kind of thing, must be a very dark place to live.

@How to be wise Im sure Ram Dass would agree its evil

@integral thank you, I found Leo’s channel right when I moved to US. His content and the people in the forum helped me tremendously, I’ve met some in person as well, such a beautiful community. Very grateful for@Leo Gura Those are good questions, thank you. My paperwork just got approved to go to Brazil, so I think after 10 years, the thought of going back there is bringing this stuff to the surface. Because of your questions I also noticed a part of me wants my mom to see how irresponsible to leave me with my uncle alone and was, she did mention in the call that her and my dad were very naive, but there is a part of me that is mad. I guess I’m holding onto an old version of me, I think this whole situation was the universe giving me an opportunity to peel an old layer. I think the main thing I need to deal with and process now is the anger. I’m very upset about how my whole family is very blind to everything, part of me wishes that they would open their eyes and right now I’m not in a place of compassion for them, or for myself. Need to work on that

Albino Penis Envy mushrooms

So a year ago my friend gave me some APEs he grew and said "Take those, I loved them, I was laughing for hours" I ended up taking around 2 grams and was in fetal position for hours, Ive had other crazy trips that Ive taken heroic doses before but this one in special revealed a sexual abuse from an uncle of mine. A little backstory, my uncle had a bar on the 1st story of my grandmas house, (this uncle is my grandmas brother) and of course he was an alcoholic, he lived with my grandma and aunts, typical latin family where everyone lives together, I was his favorite niece and would go to the bar all the time because he also sold candies there, and for some years my dad would never pay when I got things from there, I had a sweet tooth and it bothered him that I went there to get candies aall the time, to the point that my dad started paying for my stuff, the bar was full of drunk old men, I was very little, and I have 0 memories of my childhood cause my dad tried to kill my mom several times. I think in my littl mind the abuse was like an exchange for sweets, this makes me want to throw up.. Back to the mushroom trip, the mushroom showed me really ugly stuff, to the point that I had to vomit because my logical mind could not accept and process evryhing, I was disgusted, everything started making sense, but its all blurry too, the trip was very dark and messy, I called my sister to vent and we started putting things together, and it all made sense, a month after this trip a cousin of mine committed suicide, this cousin was abused by this same uncle when she was 3yo, everyone ignored her mom at the time, cause she is a distant cousin, everything was put under the rug. The timing of everything was crazy, the trip, the suicide. She died without knowing the abuse, her mom never told her, I remember my grandma saying at the time that it was her fault because she would seat on my uncles lap !!!! Imagine this, she was only 3yo... 8 months ago I decided to talk to my mom about it and she told me that when she divorced, this uncle went to her house and said that if she had sex with him he would give her a house. Yesterday was my moms birthday and I called her, the call went south cause I complained she recently traveled with this uncle and is taking care of him (he is super old now) and she revealed the men in her family come from a long lineage of pedophiles, she also wanted me to share details of what I saw in the mushroom trip because she thinks its all my imagination. Im questioning myself and writing this sounds so ridiculous. Im in deep waters right now feeling a misture of disgust, shame, sadness, hatred, and I get into my pattern of eating sweets, how ironic.. (I usually eat very clean, this is a form of self destruct - self sooth). Ive been considering cutting ties with my whole family because its very toxic for me, Im writing this because I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience, or any opinion of a sane person would help, because Im really questioning my reality, what Ive seen etc. Ive suffered sexual abuse from an ex bf too that is the reason why I left Brazil 10 years ago. Ive done years of therapy, many psychedelic experiences, but this feeling of guilt, shame and disgust does not leave me, its like a darkness of those men that was passed down to me and I cant wash it of, I dont hate them, but I do turn the hatred towards myself, specially when in contact with my patriarchal family. I work with women and all that has happened to me became keys to my work, like a curriculum that I needed to go through so I could do my work better. Its all a piece of the big puzzle and Im nothing but a humble apprentice of this divine orchestrated puzzle but what the fuckkkk

lol I love this Forum, always a breath of fresh air

@Harikrishnan It's called Saturn return, it happens when you are 12yo, 24yo, 36yo.. If you read your chart you can know exactly the months that things will be shaken up lol mine is coming too, the last one at 24 it was when I moved to US. Astrology is very ancient, I used to be very skeptical but after seeing similarities in people of the same sign I started studying more deeply, it's fascinating.

@OBEler That makes sense, I think it's easier for us to let go of control, Eckhart Tolle says women have less ego than men in one of this books, we are more oriented towards community and the whole. I also didn't break through tho, I think my ego is very strong, at some point I was super scared to higher the dose with 5meo cause I had done 5 times and was up to 4o and still I was extremely resistant to it, my ego may be way too strong lol I even went to a lecture with Martin Ball and he recommended me Salvia, to break me open and make me more susceptible to 5meo. I think it goes way deeper, I just scratched the surface, I just dont have the courage now, it was so mindfucking at the time.