forest

I think it's important to be strategic with how we get to where we want to be. If you have to study and work a 9-5 for a bit in order to fulfill your larger goals, then it's worth doing. You have to start somewhere, and this could give you the means to start moving your life in a new positive direction. I agree that for therapy to work you must be open to change. In my experience I have found it extremely helpful to trace my depression and anxiety back to it's source. Having a true understanding of my emotions and the reasons behind them has been vital to my progress. Another often overlooked aspect of therapy is that is important to find the right therapist - a great relationship based in trust and mutual respect is essential. I've had bad therapists that contributed negatively to my mental health, and therapists that have helped change my life for the better. Depression is complicated and it's not always as simple as just changing one's mind about being depressed. It's not always as simple as a choice or flipping a switch. As a side note, if you are ever feeling suicidal or like you want to harm yourself in any way, you absolutely must seek professional help. There is no shame in therapy, and there is no shame in taking medication if that is the push you need to conquer depression.

Thank you all for the feedback. @Arman This is so helpful. I truly appreciate the insight!

I am struggling with differentiating between my ego and my intuition. Generally speaking, I’ve been pretty good at feeling and trusting my intuition, but lately I have had a hard time determining if it is truly my intuition guiding me, or if it is my ego confusing me. The conflict regards an urge to move cities. A couple of years ago my partner and I were planning to move from the east coast of the US to the west coast, to live in a city we both really loved. Long story short, she decided at the beginning of 2016 that she didn’t want to move there anymore, and I decided that it was fine with me to stay. Moving there wasn’t the most important thing to me, but I was originally excited to make the move. After all, I am very well established in my current city (which I moved to about 11 years ago, currently 30 yrs old), I have a pretty great job in a creative field (I’ve been with the company 7 years now and have moved up a lot), great social circle…my only complaint is that my life feels a bit stagnant after all this time. Lately I have been having daily thoughts creep up regarding moving to the city we were planning to move to a couple of years ago, but I am unsure if it is my ego trying to run from a stable environment (I deal with anxiety and occasional depressive episodes)…perhaps some sort of self-sabatoge, or if it is truly my intuition urging me to take the leap and essentially start a new path. I have no connections there, no job prospects at the moment, and my gf has said she does not want to move there. We haven’t discussed it in about 10 months. I have been having daydream fantasies of us following through with our original plan and relocating together. The only reason I can think of to move there, besides loving the city, is that it would be a fresh start...which sounds pretty nice in some ways. Reasons not to move: my girlfriend probably wont move with me, I don’t have any job prospects, I don’t have any friends there, it is across the country and far away from any family, I have a great job and stability in my current city that is only 2 hours from family. As I mentioned before, overall things are pretty good for me, I just feel a bit stagnant. So, any ideas of how I can determine if I am being guided by intuition or confused by ego? Thanks in advance for your perspective!