Timotheus

So I was listening to this masterpiece of a non duality talk by Paul Hedderman And probably in the midst of it, I have to admit, I fell asleep. Or did I pass out? I really cannot be so sure at this point. But when I came back my whole body was bursting in intense vibratory energy. I couldn't believe it and said to myself "Cmon, pull yourself together, you're barely awake, this can't be". But it could be and it didn't pass. Paul was still talking, so I could not have been gone for too long. After a while this energy was very much focused in my upper body and it kinda felt like it moved to my hands and got so intense that I cannot describe it as any other than the feeling of an orgasm in my hands! LOL, why have sex, if you just can have this FOR FREE.

@Nahm Sounds pretty effective to me.

Exactly! For sure, thanks man!

I love it ? Who's going to destroy whom? ?

@Nahm Are you talking about a protein bar or are you talking about a protein bar? I think it's a waterpipe and she's just getting loaded with some 5-MeO-DMT.

@dorg @thehero @Morten Thanks guys

Enough internet for today.

@Soulbass Didn't expect such a detailed answer, thanks. Yeah at the time I feel like I'm done with society and just want to be all by myself not having to do things I hate to do. One of my best moments happened when I went inside, so by times it can be hard to just pursue normal things, since I don't see that many reasons anymore. In jail I could almost exclusively be all by myself and wouldn't have to do shit. Either I cannot find any reasonable ways to live where I can do things, I don't hate and or don't get annoyed by most people or my mind doesn't allow me to see it. Who knows. Thanks again, may at least you find a reasonable way to live.

I'm tempted to to drugs again. (Almost 2 years sobriety). And yeah this meat thing, I resonate with that too @Soulbass I'm tempted to commit suicide. Been struggling for like 15 years on that one. I'm tempted to go to jail and meditate my ass off (lots of time). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@Leo Gura You can't just tell people who are probably in deep pain themselves that there actually is no end to suffering. Something you yourself probably cannot be so sure of.

@Leo Gura Maybe we already are?!

5 - MeO - DMT https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/19478-5-meo-dmt-trip-report-«-to-the-core-of-being-»/ read it!!! read this shit!!!!!!

@Danielle Thank you

@Key Elements To calm your mind a little bit https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/08/to-end-suffering-escape-into-discomfort/ I've experienced it myself to some degree. ?

@Paulus Amadeus That's why some souls grow wise enough to realize an end to suffering.

@Monkey-man Take a look at epigenetics "This view encompasses all of the possible developing factors on an organism and how they not only influence the organism and each other, but how the organism also influences its own development." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics#Developmental_psychology

I've sold my 8 year old Gaming - Tower - Computer just recently and realized that I am actually emotionally attached to this good old friend. I'm not trolling it actually is quite sad, never thought I would be that stupid myself, but that's just how it is, I've outgrown gaming long ago.... goodbye.

Beautiful. "Trying" to abide in there or to surrender would look like that

Killing me softly <3

@Nahm

Basically a huge amount of childhood trauma, painful emotions during everyday life, more or less painful emotional reactions i haven't been aware of during everyday life and some stupid beliefs about me and reality. - These purging trips can feel like what I would imagine hell to feel like and they are very exhausting for the body(panic attacks, shivering, sweating), yet they are so much worth it - THOUSANDFOLD My suffering is reduced IMMENSELY, by time I can surrender to physical pain that it almost seems unreal to me. I've been quite sociophob, constant anxiety around people in public, most of it is gone -that's fucking freedom, Other neurosis and depression have been reduced by 80%, also 80 % of my addictions completely fell away. More and more I can just be and feel an intense peace. If you seem to have control, I would suggest to always try to meditate or be mindful. Most of the times I just had to surrender and let the psychedelics aka Gaia lead the show. The majority of my trips, I tripped alone. My most hellish trips I had to face completely alone and I might even have committed suicide, that's very serious, so I don't know, could have been wiser for me, but differs from person to person of course, I don't feel like I need one in the future. Always start with little dosages and don't overdo your purgings and don't be to brave if you have a lot to purge for this very reason. All these trips have been supported by the practices, healthy diet and research/learning, understanding about this. Take psychedelics with an attitude of gratitude and respect.

I've been stretching for 16 months now to get into full lotus posture. I can now hold it for 2-3 minutes until it gets too painful, before I couldn't even get into it at all.. I can tell you that this seat is perfect, perfectly stable back and spine, there is no more effort involved in maintaining an erect spine or anything. I don't know how long it will take, until I can use it for a meditation session, could probably take another year of stretching.