Psychonaut

I'm in a relationship with a woman training to be a Geistheiler (spiritual healer). Recently, I've jeopardized our relationship due to my drug use and dishonesty. I told my girlfriend about ordering 5-MeO-DMT and 5-MeO-MALT. She was upset and didn't want me to take them, but initially seemed okay with it. However, things escalated: 1. During a call with her, I took 5-MeO-DMT and told her about it while on the phone. I had a rough trip, and she tried to help by sending me love and attempting to summon angels. This experience was difficult for both of us. 2. Another time, I took 5-MeO-MALT at home without informing her beforehand. When she asked later if I had taken anything, I admitted to it. This upset her greatly, as she felt I had betrayed her trust again. She now wants me to tell her before I take anything, but I've broken her trust twice. She's given me an ultimatum: if I continue using drugs like this, our relationship is over. The sexual connection in our relationship is incredibly strong - it's otherworldly and addictive. Honestly, it's the main reason I'm interested in staying. I have a history of communication problems and drug use in relationships. I often freeze up during arguments, leading to emotional reactions and a desire to escape. I'm torn between my desire to continue exploring with substances and maintaining this relationship. Should I break up with her or try to make it work? Any insights or advice would be appreciated, especially regarding: 1. The ethics of staying in a relationship primarily for sex 2. Balancing drug use with relationship commitments 3. Rebuilding trust and improving communication 4. Identifying problematic patterns in my approach to relationships

I don't know why, maybe its just my desire to see the world burn. But I was incredibly happy to see president Trump win when I woke up on Tuesday. It is going to be an entertaining four years.

Have you guys looked into potential health risks associated with 5-MeO-DMT? I have read its not great for the heart and liver.

I have thought about it for a bit and I can't live without psychedelics for now. At least if I have a choice and don't face severe repercussions like jail or so I might take psychedelics for the rest of my life... Maybe not all the time, but when I feel the need. Thanks for the reply. I didn't realise that I was people pleasing, but I am 100%. I also don't like girls that use a lot of drugs and matter of fact she smokes a lot of weed, like 5-7 joints a day. The lack of self control is off putting as I have no problem saying no to weed.

Do you guys have any rituals you do before a trip? Like meditating or setting an intention?

I don't know what happened but I have become aware of numbers and colours a lot more than usual. Also the discounts I am getting online and the prices that I pay in the store just end up containing lots of repeating numbers that kinda freak me out. Unfortunately all these numbers have a meaning to me.... I am seeing a lot of 33, 55, 77, 69, 96, 969. Even just basic ones like 11, 22, 44. Unfortunately also some 8s from time to time... Also my house number and the house number of my parents ends up in there quite often, to the point where its just so in my face that I can't ignore it. I also have become hyper aware of colours and their meanings.... It is extremely overwhelming to me to go to stores with lots of peoples as I can't switch of my awareness - I am just flooded and then need to lie down at home. The programming has become so blatantly obvious in the stores and how they are trying to guide people to make certain purchase decisions. It is not just the classic the cheaper products are at the bottom, it is the whole eco friendly blablabla we need to save the planet shenanigans. Also when I sleep I wake up automatically at freaky times, like 5:35am, 4:20am, 3:35am and I honestly don't know what to do as I can't talk to anyone about it. They just think I am crazy, but I can feel the universe is trying to communicate with me and I can read the messages. Problem is also I have an extremely deep knowledge about security, programming, technology, engineering, a little electrical engineering, machinery, cryptography... To me it just seems like the matrix is glitching for me and I am trying to stay on the human side, while I still feel the pull to the other side.

This. In the end what can't you simplify down into a number?

@Leo Gura Wait a 2nd? Your birthday is on the 24.04? Have you experienced any shifts around your birthday this year? Because I have and I feel like I am starting to loose my mind

Has anyone played around with local LLM models? I need a local model for use in medical products. I have played around with some 7B models and have had some good results, but my hardware is not strong enough to run 70B models which I would really like to do. Models from America are not trustworthy as they can disable access at any time.

Is it possible to fix a blue system? I feel like blue is trapped in such a crazy movie that its almost impossible to reach the people. The language has to be coded and everything needs to be **proven**, **certified** and **whatever**. I find it really frustrating to work with systems that are too blue.

What are the consequences of skipping levels in the context of spiral dynamics? I feel like a lot of suffering occurs in people because they skipped one level and got "catapulted" to a higher level that they can't handle yet. For example SD-BLUE =Drugs=> SD-GREEN SD-ORANGE =Even more drugs=> SD-YELLOW SD-YELLOW ==> SD-CORAL is that possible?

Thanks! I'll check it out, love the animation

I like this This is key And stress, traumatic experiences like death / separation from parents in early in childhood Because nobody has reached it yet ;-)

Thanks! That helped me a lot

Well let's just that, I guess....

Hey is it possible to use Claude-3 OPUS in Germany? It seems like its blocked for some reason.

Thanks I like this answer a lot.

How can I self-assess my current level of spiral dynamics? Are there official tests? Most tests only give me SD-YELLOW as a result, it seems like the tests don't support higher levels or I am just answering the questions using pure YELLOW.

I don't have a problem living in a psych ward.

Hello, This is a continuation of I have continued analyzing the incident and came to the conclusion that they used psychological warfare to break my will. Meaning that they used external stress to break my will. That didn't work and I used psychological force in retaliation as self defense. I have also started analyzing their classification and come to the conclusion that they misclassified me twice. According to ICD-10 I should have been classified as F69 or F99. Unfortunately they first classified me as F25, then F30.2 which are both incorrect. I would accept F30.1 but my actual classification is F69. That is a problem for them because they used force when they were legally not allowed to. Article 1 of the german law states GG = Grundgesetz says "Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar" =ChatGPT tranlation=> "Human dignity shall be inviolable. To respect and protect it shall be the duty of all state authority." § 278 Ausstellen unrichtiger Gesundheitszeugnisse. (1) Wer zur Täuschung im Rechtsverkehr als Arzt oder andere approbierte Medizinalperson ein unrichtiges Zeugnis über den Gesundheitszustand eines Menschen ausstellt, wird mit Freiheitsstrafe bis zu zwei Jahren oder mit Geldstrafe bestraft." =ChatGPT translation=> ""§ 278 Issuing False Health Certificates. (1) Whoever, to deceive in legal transactions, as a physician or other licensed medical professional, issues a false certificate regarding the health status of an individual shall be punished with imprisonment for up to two years or with a fine." Now I am not sure what to do tbh. I know that I am in the right, because I used the *tool* "Bottom up analysis" together with the *tool* "Finite State Machine" to fight back. I prevented them from entering my safe space, by making them believe that I would hurt them. I was just protecting them from me, because I am a strong male, with a background in Muay Thai and the ability to use my environment to my advantage. I used the features of the room as a weapon against them. There are undocumented features in the room, that are safety features for SD-YELLOW people so that they can break out of the room, even if the SD-BLUE system has become completely SICK. I consciously used these features against them. I am really stunned at the power of the Spiral Dynamics System. SD-BEIGE is extremely dangerous and usually either leads to suicide or mass murder. I prevented harm to myself and others by using logic in its purest form. I am really scared of becoming a killing machine. I want to get back into Muay Thai, but that knowledge can be used to incapacitate a human being within 1-5 seconds. That would allow me to run away. I know that I cannot have knives on me in SD-BEIGE. I need to prevent SD-BEIGE at all costs. I am thinking of using an Apple Watch Ultra as a safety measure, so I atleast can make an emergency call to the police via the watch.

I find that the clash between SD-BLUE and SD-YELLOW can lead to major misunderstandings and from my unqualified understanding that was the main reason why I landed in the psychiatric ward: You can't talk to SD-BLUE when you are in pure SD-YELLOW. It feels like you are talking to a computer program. You can't tell the program that it is a program, because then it is "insulted", because the program is not a program, but it is attached to a human being, that believes its programming has value. From pure yellow the programs that the blue person is running are worthless. I am having big trouble communicating with people when I am in pure SD-YELLOW. Not sure if anyone else is experiencing this?

How would you classify South Africa both in terms of SD levels and 1st/2nd/3rd world countries?

Yes they did.

Hello guys, I landed in a closed psychiatric ward. My girlfriend drove me there, she is an anaesthetist. I am just a highly creative human though and I still am in the ward at this stage. Somehow she thought that was a good idea... Just a quick note to anyone here: Try to avoid going to a psychiatric clinic as a patient at all costs. They will help you, but not in the way that you wish them to. They tortured me for 5 days in a cell for heavy drug users. I just don't take drugs like that. I have a complete blackout, I just remember the state of the room and that my dad came to visit me and I told him that I loved him. Everything else is a blur. I still managed to learn a lot about the lower levels of spiral dynamics thinking. Doctors and staff are stage BLUE They fear stage RED, even just knowledge about how the system works, abilities to get stuff like cigarettes is power here. Stage purple is helpful for bonding with other "inmates". A closed ward is basically a prison, you have to build trust with the staff and inmates first. They got me down to Stage BEIGE thinking in their shitty cell, but my instinct to survive was too strong. Overall this was a very enlightening experience for me, mainly for the lower levels of spiral dynamics. Don't try it yourself though!

What is really evil, is that my business partner called my girlfriend and she told him that I was in psychiatry and a bunch of lies about me. Now he believes I am a risk to the startup we were building and he reduced my shares in the company.