Psychonaut

Plenty of new fucking videos on pornhub every day. Can't understand why you are still thirsty.

Here is another analogy for you. Ever seen a Bugatti pull a trailer? Gotta first pull your trailer with your VW and drop some of your baggage on the side of the road. If you just attach the regular trailer everyone has with junk to a Buggatti that is a bad idea. Once you step on the gaspedal you will rip the trailer coupling. Yes sure it might work if you caress the gaspedal. However the Bugatti is made to go fast. Why care about the trailer? You might not care about it anymore. But it has quite a load on it and it will hit people on the road. You are just being an asshole. Empty the trailer a bit and then you might even be able to take a few people for a ride in your 2 seater Buggatti that is pulling a trailer. This analogy is just so ridiculous, but I love it.

Just no. Nonononononononononononononono. Bad kitty. Bad advice. I spank you. There is no reason to drive a Bugatti Veyron as your first car. Yes sure some might be gifted and be able to learn fast. But most are going to crash into a tree on the first curve. Take it slowly, it is not like you are going to die tomorrow and only have one day to get enlightened by brute force. VW Golf -> BMW -> Audi S4 -> Audi RS6 -> GT-R -> Koenigsegg -> Bugatti

I took 5-MeO-DMT 2 years ago after about 30 acid trips and using up 1 gram of 2-CB within a few months. I must have had 20 or so 5-MeO-DMT trips. I don't think I really got anything out of it. I don't think I was ready and might not be ready yet. Still going to try to get some more.

I have found that indeed some not so developed girls think I am gay, because I like anal play. Be a bit careful when you introduce it. For the shit eating get some help.

So how do I raise my level of consciousness? Or will I be going up and down for the rest of my life?

Micro-dosing is a lot of fun, especially if it is a high micro-dose. Cutting up a regular 125ug blotter into 4 pieces should yield you with a 30ug "micro-dose". That is quite something already. Half of that would be considered a "traditional" micro-dose.

Acid for me is not a great tool for insights. My "insights" on it are mostly related to my life. It gives me a different view on it. Change this Think about this in this way Change your behaviour to this. At least for me it is a self development aid, not really a spiritual insights aid. It is possible that it is just my bias, as I have been a practical person and so I value practical insights that I can implement easily. A more contemplative person might get deep insights on longer trips. It kind of depends on you, at the beginning acid can be effectively used to peck away at the mind and take out some of the pieces that are falling of and throw them on the bio compost in the garden.

To me at least when I was micro dosing acid, it felt better to have one thing revealed at a time and give it some time for you to implement. This is in contrast to receiving a whole bucket of things on a high dosed trip, with half of the things falling out of the bucket on your way back home. @Justincredible76 Just quarter the tab into 4 pieces, that will yield you 4 trips within 2 weeks.

If there is something available for you to learn (be revealed to you) you will not require a large dose. You could even micro-dose and go for a "two day break between every micro dose" schedule.

How do I as "a human being" care about something that I know is purely imaginary? How do I not fall into the trap of just saying "its not real" every time something bad happens? For example "My dog that I love more than I will ever allow myself to love another human being just died" -> Reaction: Ah he was just imaginary. The way I saw him was just an idealisation. An imagined perfect being. It was only able to survive because he as a dog was not able to disprove my image of him. Of course he was imperfect, just like we all are. Humans will eventually destroy an image you have created of them to which they cannot live up to, a dog cannot. Everything my dog does will be seen through my lense of "motherly caring love". With this approach I will essentially dismantle everything. Am I supposed to take everything apart? What is going to be left? How do I decide from which point of view to live? On the one hand everything is imaginary and perfect, because it is my creation. On the other hand I can fill this body and live as if everything is real. How do I stay in the body when my pain pushes me out? How do I continue to feel when all I feel is the pain of myself and everyone around me? How do I get rid of this imagined pain. Even though I imagined it to be, because I wanted to feel it. I imagined the pain and the desire to get rid of it. I imagined I would write this and now I am. I wanted to feel everything, even though it might feel "bad". From my point there is just everything, which I wanted to feel and imagine to be. There is no distinction within it. I imagined the ability to feel. I imagined I could imagine. I magine.

I used to have a huge list of things I was looking for in a girl. But now I seem to care less and less about most of the things on the list and only one thing remains. Open-mindedness. If the girl sees you as a high value male and she is open-minded you can introduce her to all the things you are interested in. For example my current girl is overweight, so overweight that I would have not approached her in real life. We met on Tinder and I just went with it. I told her that she should try the ketogenic diet and she is doing that since monday. Having lots of "requirements" on your dating profile, especially on Tinder exponentially decreases your chances of getting matches. The only thing I have on there now after general positive things about me is "Looking for an open-minded girl interested in a deeper connection".

Thank you for the immense effort of compiling the summaries. I am a bitch when it comes to having things look nice, so I started to transfer the word document into an online overleaf latex document. Overleaf project (read only link) https://www.overleaf.com/read/tggzzjhjnmjh So far I have only done the first 2 chapters (20 pages [10%]). Just wanted to see if anyone cares and prefers the latex formatting style? It took me 50 minutes for 20 pages, extrapolating to 200 pages that would be 8.3 hours. It's an online editor so one could split the work. It's a lot of mundane find and replace. If anyone is interested I can pm a link that allows editing. Actualized_Textbook_latex_v0.1.pdf

30mg was better. I think I made a mistake somewhere along the process when taking 20mg. This time I relieved myself of any extraterestrial matter and actually washed everything out for maximum absorbtion. I didn't do it the last time and I always clean it before anything goes in there. Will continue doing so. Seems like that is important. At least for my ass. Very energetic trip. The energy is very maluable. 5-MeO-DMT has a lot of energy too, but it only wants to take me to one place. Seeing that place has some value to it. However at least for this trip, I felt like DPT was much more about "me" and here and now. Like a session of psychotherapy. I feel like sometimes people forget that problems have to be addressed at the level of consciousness at which the "problem" arises. The experience of 5-MeO is nice, but I will always persist. Either until I voluntarily or unvoluntarily leave this body.

Even in baking noone uses volumetric measurements besides Americans. They don't count though because they are fat and eat disgusting food. Recommending microscoops over a milligram scale makes 0 sense to me. Yes a scale is inaccurate for low doses. My kitchen scale shows 0g until I have at least 5g on there and then jumps to 5g. My milligram scale does the same thing. In fact all scales seem to do that. I usually start at 10mg, so it doesn't matter to me.

Gonna order a strap-on in the shape of my dick, so my girl can fuck me in the ass with my own dick. Good times.

I was just being practical. What needed to be done anyways was just done. It was not like I was using a straight razor either, it was just a sharp knife. But hey, you gotta say what you gotta say because you are Leo. I will just do what I do until someone makes me stop, which won't happen. I just wanna lean back, drink some Pina Coladas with my pals on another planet and share the story of how I didn't die on planet earth. All the shit I do is just part of that. A funny story. I'm already holding its bits and pieces in my hand. Gonna try 30mg next I guess.

So I plugged 20mg 40 minutes ago and just went about my day, showering and shaving my balls happily. I think I need to increase the dose a bit. This feels less than 5mg 5-MeO-DMT, which had an edge to it. This has no edge at all. I just notice that all the rings I am wearing on my fingers are "cutting" into my fingers and it hurts. Will have to remove them on higher doses. Don't want to be ripping at my fingers trying to get all the metal off.

Question: Answer: The person sitting next to you will cease to be person long before your hand turns into a tentacle. If you do large enough doses you could probably experience your hand as a tentacle, but then it will shift back. Like it could in a dream. Stop thinking of your dreams as unreal. They are as real as the physical world. So all that crazy stuff you are able to do in your dreams is God imagining new realities.

Interesting share @Shin. Words of affirmation do nothing for me, receiving gifts not so much either. But physical touch, quality time and acts of service are essential .

Q1: What is the lowest dose that makes sense to start off with? I was thinking of starting with 10mg and increasing it in 5mg steps. I have made the mistake of overdoing it with 5-MeO at the beginning and would like to take a gentler approach this time. Q2: Which testkits make sense for DPT?

@bejapuskas Maybe I need to suffer? Maybe I actually need to feel what I am feeling? This is a "poem" I wrote a few months back. no way out There is no way out I'm stuck in a cloud I have to feel it To let go of it @laptophaver Glad you see it this way. I went back to when I started writing and found this poem from last year. It's a bit raw and unedited. A beautiful mind My mind is everything It is my greatest asset and my biggest curse It creates heaven It creates hell It has the greatest potential Nothing comes close to the potential of a human mind But like anything that has great potential It can go both ways It can go to hell It can go to heaven Every day it has to be taken care of Anything that is left alone will degrade There is nothing that gets better if you leave it Only things that are alive can get better Everything else degrades It breaks, falls apart and changes until it is something else The mind has to be taken care of Anything that goes in stays in the mind One has to be extremely selective with what one puts in Anything that goes in has the potential to grow A single wrong thought can grow It can grow and create an entire parallel universe To the point of being completely untrue An entire world created as a fantasy of the mind This can be nice when it is heaven When heaven is created in the mind it is beautiful But the mind can also create hell A single thinking mistake or wrong belief can cause that The entire model of the world crashes down It collapses in itself and burns Everything changes because of taking the wrong turn Taking the wrong turn and landing in a dark alley But whenever a wrong turn is taken Wherever this takes the mind, it has to be walked The alley has to be explored The alleys want to be uncovered The places that are rarely wandered want to be seen Light needs to be brought forth to them Awareness and wisdom arise from wandering Wandering the places of the mind everyone is afraid of One can get lost wandering in the mind It is endless, it is alive It will continue to produce It will always come up with new paths to wander It is alive Anything that is alive will continue what it does until it is dead The mind will never die Only when I die, I will take the mind with me My mind is beauty It is empty and yet full of surprises Whatever arises I can see it I am aware and see it for what it is I am curious I want to know what it is But the mind can also take me away Away from what actually is It can trap me Trap me in thoughts But I always find a way out I will always return to what is To what I feel What I feel flowing through my heart A deep sense of love and compassion Pain too, so much pain and suffering But I will not close my heart I will not close down to the pain I will continue to try I will choose heaven every day I will leave the world a better place I will help the people that want my help I will leave the people that don't want to be helped I cannot help them I will continue to love them Even though I cannot help them I will focus on the people that I can help Someone else will do the job for the others I am not supposed to help Infinite wisdom Endless love True compassion Deep gratefulness for being alive These are my mantras I love myself and will live by them

Not sure why I do this. I know however that some part of me (probably ego) doesn't want to be happy and enjoys to see the other part of me suffer. It is almost like older parts of me that are still floating around are unwilling to accept unconditional love and fight it. However what I have found rather interesting is that my crashes have actually only started since I have been engaging in relationships with girls. From my observation it almost makes the impression that I subconsciously want to see if she still "loves" (cares about) me when I am beaten down like this. Even though the beating was an internal beating. It seems like something is subconsciously testing my girls to see how strong the connection is and if she is actually able to pull me out of the dirt when I am beaten down. I met up with my girl on friday evening, which was the day after I crashed so hard. After we parted I noticed that the colours were more vibrant and I felt normal again. It was very nice actually as we hugged for a long time and she said that it felt like she was melting in my embrace. I probably really just wanted attention though. It took her quite a while to actually get me back into my body. She touched me a lot and kissed my neck an so forth. At the beginning I didn't even really feel it and ignored it for the most part. She first thought that I just had a bad day. These depressive crashes are really starting to worry me though. It is like my vision and senses become clouded and a part of myself retracts and is gone. Colours are bleak, food doesn't taste, there is no energy and motivation to do anything. It is like my brain chemistry is thrown out of balance and then requires a bit of time to stabilize again.

How many days does one have to wait before doing DPT again? Can I treat a DPT trip like I would treat a LSD trip. Meaning that the next day no substance will have an effect and it takes a week before I can do it again? DPT would most likely also interfere with any substance that one would micro dose, like LSD or Psylocybe Cubensis. So I would have to adjust any microdosing schedule.

I really wonder how much the level of consciousness influences 5-MeO-DMT and DPT. The time were I took a lot of 5-MeO-DMT is almost 3 years back. I had to look up my own threads to figure out how long it has been. I think I would get a very different experience now if I would get some more 5-MeO-DMT.