Psychonaut

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Did a 7 day yoga course in India, 1hr every day. Was lots of fun, much more than I expected. The teacher even came to the place I stayed at. I got a 1 on 1 lecture right at my friends house. Pretty cooool and the course was basically for free compared to western prices. I'm now back at my place wondering how I shall continue. I would like to do it everyday. I tend to have difficulty pushing myself out of my comfort zone without an external stimuli, especially for physically challenging activities. A teacher makes it easier to push yourself more than you would do on your own. I should probably define some goals to work towards. Some postures that I want to be able to do. Probably also reflect on why I want to do yoga, think about benefits and what I want from it. I'm basically looking for a program for every day with exercises/asanas with increasing intensity.

Might be because you associate being vegan and caring for other beings as a feminine trait. My masculinity is also questioned or challenged by friends and other beings just from being a vegeterian. Takes a while to stop caring and becoming comfortable and confident with it. How long have you been vegan?

I would like to die from thinking too much about how I would like to die.

It depends. I have found that the effects of a long session of meditation wear off after some time and the day is long. I do both. I meditate during the day for like10-30 minutes whenever I feel I have to clear my mind. Shorter meditation sessions are more for when you need them. When you get stuck at work. When your boss just had a fit. After a strenuous meeting etc. My short meditation sessions are never planned. Longer meditation sessions are better for going deep or gaining new insights.

For all kinds of substances I think it is very important to not expect anything in return. Don't expect it to magically fix problems. You still have to fix all your issues yourself. It is your own responsibilty to do so. On the other hand some of these chemicals can show you what there is to fix and also give you the strength to do so.

In the core of every human desire is magnification of happiness. May it be through emotional stability, soothing words, excitement, the euphoria rush from hardcore drugs, the beauty of music etc... The key to understand happiness is that every being has a different way of achieving happiness and all ways are okay. For example I am the most happy when I take acid, the pure bliss and peace it gives me is indiscribable. But is this the only and one way? Absolutely not. I have had friends that freaked out on acid because they couldnt distinguish what is reality and what is not. Happiness has many facets and can't be really defined in words. It is every beings own responsibilty to take care of their own happiness.

I am a rooibos tea drinker and like to drink tea in the evening to relax. Sadly there is no decaf matcha to be found. But I have found roibos matcha from bluebridteaco and on minvita.co.uk. How does regular matcha compare in taste to green tea? I already don't really like green tea to begin with. I imagine the taste is just even stronger? Do you drink this as if it was tea or is it different to tea?

@David1 What could possibly go wrong? I haven't had any bad/negative experiences with psychedelics yet. Can't you just do it on your own? Don't you just kind of turn into a potato after taking DMT - unable to move?

Why go to all the trouble of going to a retreat when you can just have the stuff @ home with some of your buddies?

@agnosis You can only run out of things to give if they are limited.

This has been a burning concern for me for at least a year. My father has become totally absorbed into work. His life is out of whack, totally imbalanced. His relationship with my mother is suffering, I can feel it. He doesn't even fucking listen to her. He has aged so much, it hurts me to watch him continue doing this to himself. He has no buddies to hang out and/or give him feedback. All interactions are from work, our family or people at church. He is religious, he reads a lot. But it doesn't improve him at all. My father's father and mother are still alive. But they are one of the unhappiest people I have ever met in my life. My fathers complete family is so unhappy. Every single one. My fathers mother is so manipulative, it hurts. We have no contact with them anymore. I have rejected birthday cards from them. I send them back with all the money included. It was my own decision, not my parents idea. The only true masculine man in our family was my mothers father. He was a role model to all of us. I'm breaking out in tears just thinking of him. I'm not making this up. I am crying. This is the only man me and my father have ever looked up to. My mother was devastated when he passed away. I feel like my father has lost direction. My mother needs the masculine man that her father was. My father is not delivering. My father has lots of good qualities. He surely has and I still have to adopt all the good stuff. But there are lots of things that he could improve. But he is pouring all his energy into his work and what is left gets spend on christian religious stuff. These are the things I feel that he has to fix: My dad is very negative. When he talks about other people it is almost always negative. The underlying problem has to be taken care of. That has to stop asap He has to get his wife back. She is suffering. She has picked up lots of responsibilities at church. I know she doesn't want to do that stuff. Her dad was also involved in church. That is why she probably feels like she has to do this. This is a masculine thing to do, not feminine! She is an artist. She hasn't created anything in years! She would much rather create beatiful art than to deal with administrative things at church. It doesn't help that my dad is super religious and encourages that behaviour. I know that you shouldn't try to fix other people. But as a child I think I have to at least try. This is what I think I should do: I would start with recommending "The way of the superior man". My father will probably read it if I recommend it, not sure if it will be enough to just read it. I would also strongly recommend meditating every day with the absolute minimum being 30 minutes. But it probably has to be 45 minutes or 1h like I do. I don't think that this will resonate very well with my father, because he has so little time. But it has to be done. You cannot get rid of the emotional baggage by just praying and hoping for the best. You have to fix the way you think. Praying is just delegating it to some higher form of being. It makes you weaker and relieves you of your own responsibilty to address the things that are holding you back. You have to meditate every day, till the day that you die and on the day that you will die. I can say for myself that I have never been this happy in my entire life. Since I have started working on myself about half a year ago and did meditation every day. I have felt depressed for years, I have self harmed, I have had suicidal thoughts for years, I have drowned my sorrows in alcohol, I have searched for happiness in drugs. But in the end I have used all of those experiences to make myself stronger. Now I feel like it's time to try help the ones I care most about. Or at least try. I still have tears in my eyes. I'm in a different country than my parents, but once I get back I think I have to address the issues in person, not via email.

I have poured all my pain into the starting post and let go off it. It's gone. Now it's time to be a strategic motherfucker. Sneaky beaky like. I have thought about how to package meditation into a package that is appealing to my parents. I think I will mention it to my mother first. She has mentioned multiple times that I look so happy. So next time she compliments me I will tell her that I believe it's mainly because I have started meditating. A minister of another church in our town is a big promoter of meditation. She listens to some of his sermons which he uploads to his website. She already knows that meditation is something that is okay to do as a christian. Maybe I don't even have to do anything at all!!! Maybe he is the guy to do it for me and I can just watch with a big grin. If she asks were I heard about it I'll tell I have heard it before and I just googled because I wanted to know more. I found a rather long video which I watched. It was motivating and most of the video was just about all the benefits and it got me really interested. The main motivating part for me was that the guy stressed a lot that meditation is very simple and everyone can use it. You can do it everywhere anytime. I could mention some positive effects like general wellbeing. That my outlook on life has improved. My thinking has become a lot more positive. The negative thoughts just somehow go away quicker and sometimes they don't come at all. I'll say that the picture that most people have about meditation is very clichee. You don't need chakras, funky cushions or sit with your legs crossed. You can just sit on a chair, close your eyes and start meditating. I might mention a quote I found online "Prayer is talking to God. Meditation is listening to God". I found it somewhere on a christian forum or something can't remember the link. Was some christians discussing meditation. If she asks how often I do I'll tell her everyday and that it is very important to do it every day. Maybe I can say something like you also pray every day don't you? Meditation is similiar. If she asks how long I meditate I say atm 1hour, but started at 10m, 20m, 30m, 45m. Not the time is that important it's just that you do it every day. If she says 1hour is very long and why I meditate for so long. I say that 45 minutes was also okay, but 1 hour is just 15 minutes more and has a bit stronger effect or something. I had to make sacrifices to fit in my day. I feel like meditation is one of the best ways to spent your free time. Better than just watching videos mindlessly or wasting time on the internet writing long posts about other people's problems that are not your duty to fix. Love doesn't make any sense doesn't it lol. Then I have to somehow convey that there is no "bad meditation", every effort at doing it is good and you have to be consistent with it. Like when you pray for others. You might pray for several weeks before seeing effects. I'll say that it is impossible to completely stop thinking. You have to calm your mind, but if it doesn't work don't fight it. It creates resistance and meditation is also about relaxation. Focus on breathing or heartbeat. See your thoughts as a river. You just watch the river and don't jump into the river. The thoughts just pass by and if you don't jump in the river it will flow slower and your thoughts become less. You want to jump in the river and in the beginning you will jump into the river often. I still do, quite often. It is okay. Eventually you get out of the river for a while. Sometimes you are in the river most of the time and only get out for a few seconds. Sometimes you stay in the river for an hour. Sometimes you just have a bad day and caught no fish. Whatever just try again the next day. Meditation is essential to rebalance your life in all this overstimulation, the internet and so forth. It's just too much for the mind, it can't handle it. If she is interested I could suggest trying a few minutes a day for 2-3 weeks or so. Try to change the topic, maybe talk about something important or so. If she is interested she'll ask again some other time. I can't dump the whole heft of this post on her. She won't know what happened. Has to be small portions.

@AlexB Corey Wayne himself said that people in PUA have no skills in maintaining a relationship. They don't have an intention of having a relationship. They just love the chase. It's like a dog constantly running behind every bitch on heat. The magnification of the ego in a river of sperm. PUA is just a phase. You can't keep the river running all the time. After a while you will notice that it is not a river. It's just an old moody garden hose, that is bound to stop working when you get older.

@AlexB She is a woman. Do woman say what they mean? Nooooo! What if she is just testing you and your masculinity? Meaning that you don't care if it just was a gift. Be a man. Move on. Don't give a fuck. She will come back if she is interested. Sometimes women are just like cats. A cat comes, walks around your legs a bit and goes. The cat comes back if it is interested. If not then it's also okay. You didn't really care about the cat in the first place. You just get a new cat if it pisses you of too much.

@Lorcan I cannot answer this question for you because I do not know your life purpose.

No simply just no. If it was a love token and it was given out of love you wouldn't even think of taking it back. You are retracting your token of love. You are taking the love away. No no no no no. Love is about giving and not expecting anything back. If you want to give a token of love to a new girl then get a new token of love. How would your new girl react if you told her that you had given the ring to another girl and demanded it back. Just so that you could give it to a new girl. Your girl would think what holds him back from doing the same thing to me?

@Leo Gura You ccan become aware even in deep sleep? OMG! Tell me more about it.

Most people that have become very popular on YouTube started it as a hobby. They literally just enjoyed creating videos. None of them would have thought that it would be possible to earn money with it at some stage. Their love for their work is visible in the final product. This is what makes YouTube special. If you like to create short clips don't wait till you are finished. Start now. It won't be perfect. But! It will keep you on track. Motivate you while you are studying. Remind you of why you are studying all this stuff. Your videos will continually get better. And most important you can receive feedback. Haha YouTube and feedback. First! Some of it will be helpful I believe. You create videos to have fun. Put them out for free without expecting anything. If you expect to become famous and popular you are making it harder for yourself. If you don't believe me search on YouTube on how to become popular. Lots of the people I watch have made videos on this topic. Most of them have said the same. I have just given you a summary.

I would recommend two books for you which have empowered me as a man. 1.) Corey Wayne - How to be a 3% man 2.) David Deida - The way of the superior man Once you have read these you can come back empowered and we can continue the conversation. Until then expect radio silence from me. And don't come after 2 weeks and tell me I betrayed you. I will pour a bucket of ice water over you. You can get the book How to be a 3% man for free by subscribing to his newsletter

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@kiana If you are into online dating check out Corey Wayne. He has a youtube channel and he also has a blog/website. This guide on online dating is mainly for men, but you can easily change it to make it work for women Be careful with the word "deserving". Don't fall into the trap that you think too highly of yourself. It might make it too hard for a man to approach you if you are looking down on them too much. Wanna hook up?

I think if you continue to meditate every day after a while it will stick. I usually feel the effects for at least half a day.

How could you have known what would happen? How can you not forgive yourself right now for all the things that will happen in the future? Inhale deeply. Breathe in and out. Close your eyes and accept that there are certain things that are out of your control. Drop the events of the past. Drop the events of the future and try to move on. Easier said than dun. I know. Meditate meditate meditate. If it takes 4 hours of just sitting there. Invest the time to drop that baggage (stuff that is holding you back) on the ground and just walk away.

Here you should watch this: