Psychonaut

The less shit is in your brain the less shit will be added to the already existing shit. Because the shit in your brain interprets the happenings of life in a shitty way. So the shit in your brain produces more shit. If there is no shit or very little shit then your experiences will not be turned into shit in your brain. The idea is to purge the shit out and then stay aware.

I have to strongly agree with Az here. MEO is not a magic pill without any sideeffects. The sideeffects are severe. Especially if you take too much. The shit that will come up is just baffling. It will bring everything up. Everything you have been suppressing. This has to be done gradually. Lean slightly over the edge every time. The experience should feel productive but it will always be difficult. That way you know you are making progress. Meo will not make your problems go away. It will confront you with them and you have to deal with it. It's not like an acid that washes the problems away. It is a tool that brings the issues into the light. Only when all the issues and problems have been brought into the light they can be dealt with and the healing process can begin.

What happened to the sense of your body? If you got the shitty meo did you make sure that you cut it into a fine powder? Or is it a very fine powder already?

Music is a divine gift showcasing the creativity of the artist and beauty of live. Music is not entertainment, it is art. Art serves no "functional" purpose in a rational mindset. Yet it is still there. Appreciate it or let it be.

@Leo Gura I have to start on page 69?! Yes sir!

I listen to music when I masturbate. I listen to Alan Watts when I walk down the hood.

Be real, gurl! It's that easy. Then your good heartedness will also be real. Super simple.

@Afonso 5-meow doesn't have any uplifting component to it. What you get is entirely dependent on yourself. Other psychedelics like 2c-b and shrooms make you feel a bit better. This makes it easier as a start. Maybe get something that lifts your baseline happiness/euphoria and combine it with 5-meow (f.e. weed), so the house doesn't come crashing down on you. My first acid trip was quite tuff even when combined with weed. If I would have started with 5-meo I don't know if I would still be here (mentally). Psychedelics are definitely fun so try the others out. When you only use 5 without trying the others you are missing out on what the others have to offer.

Athene is a scammer. If you listen to the guy he talks in circles without ever saying anything of any relevance.

I don't see where the problem is. I could probably write down a huge list of things that turn me on and off and so could probably every man who is honest with himself. Don't overthink it.

It would be way too fucking easy if you could just switch of your thoughts. It would be so nice if all the negative shit that haunts you, all the bullshit from the past and all fears about the future would be gone. You wouldn't have to deal with it and would be happy. But that is a fantasy. You have to work through it with awareness, acceptance and compassion for yourself.

He has a vlog already. You can find it here. http://its-called-your-own-fucking-life.com If you are bored with this Vlog I don't know how to help you.

Now I'm sad.

Why not? You can enjoy looking for something just for the sake of looking.

You can't possibly have a substance like 5-meo-dmt freely available. The risk of damage is too high. But then on the other hand who wants to take something like 5-meo-dmt? Like honestly. It is a very niche substance. It doesn't make you feel better, it doesn't give you a high and it doesn't even give you visuals. How would you sell this to someone who just wants to feel a lil better? On the other hand this makes it the perfect candidate for therapeutic use. Curing addictions, assisting in psycho therapy and stuff like that. They will first have to establish it in clinical use though. People like us that will use it in a non dual approach to come closer to the truth are the 1% of the 1%.

PART 1: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, Welcome and enjoy the show! After 2 weeks of fucking around in the mountains and lush valleys of Canabonea our hero is sick of it. He is sick and tired of procrastinating, not getting anything done and watching far too much porn. The legendary esports historian Duncin *Thoorin* Shields had recently opened a second youtube channel to discuss topics not related to esports. Our hero had watched Thoorins legendary epic video on the Bard Terrence McKenna. Not having read much about McKenna our hero listened intently to what Thorin had to say. McKenna had talked much about the heroic dose. He would advocate taking high amounts of Psylocybin and going into a dark room with lights turned off and in complete silence. Our hero wanted to get serious. He wanted the hero to shine inside of him in a bright light. He decided to take 50mg meoooooow in a dark room without any music. Balls to the walls. Our hero always, repeat always has music going on when tripping. But not this time. Completely dark also sounds like a fucking terrible idea. But our hero was tired and willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. While he was weighing out 50mg on his high precision tesla mega milligram scale. The scale wasn't that great afterall. Our hero had to recalibrate the scale 3 times till the 10g weigths used to calibrate actually showed up on the scale as 10.000g. After our hero had calibrated the scale to the desirec accuracy he preceeded to finely chop the meow into a fine powder with a pocket knife. Our hero prepared 4 lines on his movie grade mirror plate with the perfect size hand cut from a broken mirror. Our hero was starting to get second thoughts when he starred at the surely madness inducing amount of fine powder that was on the mirror. Our hero had to remind himself that he was doing the heroic dose today. Our hero started to sniff the meow. He even scrapped off all the bits that had been missed and made 3 more lines off all the bits that had been missed and made sure he had gotten every last bit of the 50mg meow into his nose. The floor had been fully cleared off all the cables. All chargers and electronics had been completely unplugged and stowed away by our hero. Our hero made sure there was a bucket next to his bed. He was ready. He didn't wan't to puke but knew that at this insane dosage it was very likely to happen. He was ready to go. Our hero got up from his chair and switched of the lights. He had completely unplugged everything and the room was completely dark. Everything but the wifi router had been unpluggedd. "You know when there is no wifi signal around you anymore you die, John. You just drop dead like a sack of potatoes." PART 2: Our hero turned of the lights and returned to his desk in complete darkness. He found his desk chair which he had quite trouble getting on. Our hero was starting to feel the effects of the heroic legendary epic dose of 50mg pure 5-meo-dmt. Our hero bent forward so the holy meow wouldn't run down his throat. He remembered the revolting taste from his previous quests where he was still fucking around. He rubbed his nose and massaged in the meow so none of it would go to waste and the final boss could be defeated. It was starting and our hero was starting to feel it as well. It was getting serious. Our hero was on his honorly quest to "Make reality great again - Getting the real in reality back!" He was ready for the martyr hero act of dark room 50mg meow ultimate boss battle. He was sitting on his chair breathing in and out. His heart was pounding. After a while there was nothing but his breath and his heart pounding like never before. It was like a small explosion everytime it beat, so powerful. Our hero needed to lie down in his bed with the bucket next to it. He got up and preceeded to go in the direction of his door. Going probably needs a pretty drastic redefinition here. This was more like scrambling with arms stretched and crouched on the floor in a completely dark room. Our hero had completely lost all sense of orientation. He had gotten up and forgotten where he actually wanted to go. There was a beating heart, a breathing breath and darkness. That's it. He felt like he had been thrown into outer space in darkness with nothing else around him. But there was a light to be seen where the door was. He needed to go there. "Where am I now?". He had walked into a wall. There was an object there. But what was it? It was giving way. It was his huge majestic mirror! But how had he gotten there? He initially had gone to the right, but he had ended up going to the back! Completely lost in his own room he saw the light of his door. He needed to get to the light from his door. He somehow got there and opened the door. Booooooya blinding light. He closed the door again. He had forgotten that the door was unlocked. He had left it open so his friend could come help him. He couldn't see his light switch anymore. But he felt where it was. He turned on the lights and left them on so he could get to his bed. PART 3: The hero closed the door and stumbled to his bed and lay down. He had arranged the blanket on his bed in a way that he could lean against it as if he was lying on a couch. He had read about it in the "tales of the legendary hero Azrael" who had suggested lying on a sofa for safe boss fights. Our hero was lying on his side with his neck leaned forward so as to not loose any holy meow. Our hero's sense of self was fading very quickly. There were bits of ego still hanging on like flesh on a bone. The meow was gnawing away on the bone. The last shreds of ego were going insane. Our hero was feeling a mind numbing sense of insanity that he can't describe. Just completely mentally insane. Terrifying for our hero's ego. Completely overwhelmed our hero had to follow his destiny. He had to surrender. The wordless and unspoken question "Are you ready" came up. On previous trips our hero was not ready. He had said NO! He hadn't wanted to die. He wanted to live! But today was different. He knows this is it and he knows clearly that he is ready. No fucking around today. He had to let go. He had to completely let go! He had to die. And if you have never come to this point you have no fucking idea what our hero was experiencing. Actual fucking death. Not the stupid word death. Real tangible death. You are lying on your death bed and you know you are going to die. You breath your last breath and you are gone. Dead. Yes that is the feeling. You can't compare it to an ego loss experience on LSD or during meditation or anything like that. Meow is fast, very fast. One second there is a gun at your head then you say shoot me and the next second you are vaporized. Our hero's heart was beating balls to the walls out of the fucking roof and then just stopped. Goodbye heart. Heart beat gone, body gone. Motionless he was lying in bed. A dead body. He has no recollection of how long he was in this state. Eventually our hero came back into reality. A reality in which his body felt like a rotten moushy tomato. A round pile of cells. He was lying on his side. He was rolling back and forth with nauseau building up to a point of no return. He had to vomit his guts out. He leaned over and managed to locate the bucket. Gasping for air he felt like he was dying and continued to puke. He was certain his friend was going to come and pat him on the back, but he didn't. He had eaten many hours before. He hadn't eaten anything special so wasn't sad about puking it out. Vomiting felt to our hero like a lump of something which should have not been there had left the body. Like a lump of cells from his body had been dumped into the world. And he was this lump of cells that had been born. An alive pile of cells! The first breath after puking when he was gasping for air felt like the first breath of a newborn when it is dumped into the world and the doctor pats it on the back. Breathing and still gasping for air he realized that he was still alive! He had made all the necessary precautions and survived! He was alive and the sense of the body came back. Like it uses to in this weird way were the body at first doesn't really feel like it is your own. It feels a bit foreign at first until it's completely back. PART 4: Our hero had to wash his hands and got up to do so. Our hero ended up washing his entire body under the shower. We are still waiting for the relase of the tale of the epic first shower. Our hero only had to say "Such shower, much sensual OMFG". Our hero was hungry. He wanted to eat something. On the way to the kitchen he already heard the loud music of his friend who was in the kitchen. While having a deep converation about the dangers of AI with his friend he created some divine culinary masterpieces. First our hero had to refill his vaporizer with the legendary Jack Herer strain of the Gods. After that our hero started chopping vegetables, frying tofu, onions and some eggplants to create some sandwiches. After about an hour of work the legendary sandwiches were finished and were added to our hero's memory of explosive culinary experiences never to be forgotten. The taste of such magnificence that our descendants will still sing about them in hymns in the upcoming centuries. But before the hero had finished eating the first masterpiece the hero's friend left to take a nap and possibly wank. Our hero began thinking about ways to tell of this epic battle and fetched his tablet to compile what you just read.

@Leo Gura For me the biggest takeaway is the actual experience of ego death. What I wanted was to force it. That was the whole point of going to this extreme. Now that I know its safe it will hopefully be easier for me to let go on lower doses. For me meow is a tool to cut through bullshit. For this reason I haven't added my interpretations. Its just more bullshit. Because who am I? What have I understood or seen? Nothing and there is no reason to interpret it. These interpretations would have no value for you as a reader in any case. Only if you believe that I am enlightened or more trustworthy/knowledgeable than you. But I am just some guy on the internet just like you are. In our western society there is no imminent threat of death. However I believe that the brain is wired to defeat itself against a threat like predator animals. Have you ever been mugged, beaten up or had to deal with a real close death experience? Probably not. I feel like I appreciate life much more now that it has been taken away from me during my trip. Just that alone makes this trip worthwhile for me.

@BeyondForm I'm sorry to tell you this. But states produced by acid shouldn't be chased. I have not been able to reproduce any blissful state produced by acid. Those states are not it and shouldn't be chased. It's very likely you can't get them and that is fine. Don't be sad you can't get these states normally.

A dog is being a dog. A tree is being a tree. A human is a human. Enlightenment only exists in the human realm. How could a tree ever be anything other than a tree? Enlightenment only applies to humans, because we want to be everything but what we actually are.

Watch horror movies, gore videos, live beheadings, rape porn. After a while you will feel nothing anymore. Your own family could be raped and chopped into pieces in front of your eyes and you wouldn't give a damn. Sounds cool?

Nice post. I appreciate the effort you put into it. I share your concern with vomiting. I hate vomiting and avoid it as much as I can. Even if I really need to I will suppress it to the bitter end. This is the main reason that has stopped me from jumping straight from 40mg to 50mg for my next trip. I dont want to suffocate in my own puke. Tbh I'm not sure about dosage anymore. Previously I thought I should have the dosage as high as possible. I had a 20mg trip on friday and saturday and those were very insightful. The first one it was just yelling in my face that I'm doing something wrong. Instead of becoming disengaged with my normal life I have to engage 3 times as much. I didn't know how to engage though. Second one I learned that too fully engage I had to become fearless. The easiest way is to completely surrender. I trained it when coming down for like an hour. Death, crack, big bang birth and death again. Life death life death. An endless cycle. Sleep, awake, sleep, awake, sleep. When you can surrender it is like being able to go to sleep in the middle of the day and trusting that everything will be fine. Trusting that everything will be fine is the most important factor for being able to fully and utterly ultimately absolutely surrender when the moment comes. It's death. Inevitable yet unexpected.

@Azrael I meditate 20 minutes a day, but that doesn't help thaaaat much. I don't know what I'm doing with my life lol.

@Azrael Btw have you seen my thread on my "experiences" ?

@Azrael Do you also feel like you can meditate much much deeper now? And how about after effects?