ValiantSalvatore

@andyjohnsonman I see I don't know much about the topic, I listened to a couple of podcasts/talks. Sounds similar to what I do.

@andyjohnsonman From what I heard most cults and scandals in the spiritual community started because of not integrated shadows. Also, I've heard that shadow work will never end since it keeps latching on and is being added to. Also, that vipassana practice keeps dissociating shadow aspects/ the complete shadow since stuff is being dissociated endlessly. Yet I am doing that with a variation of vipassana, yet I have no clue what normal vipassana entails as far as techniques go. I noticed that shadow work is important, yet sometimes I have no "real" shadow elements to work with. So, I am doing shadow work consistently inconsistently, as long as I am heavily triggered or triggered I will sit down and do the 3-2-1 process. Yet, I don't know what kind of techniques there are beside shamanic breathing, the 3-2-1 process of Ken Wilber which is based on Gestalt therapy. I noticed after doing this now for some time that I integrate repressed elements of myself, anger, arrogance (which I never thought I had.), hedonistic tendencies and some weird character "flaws" like being more assertive and less passive and more proactive. Also, I notice a lot of people project their shadow selves and also I notice more that I am projecting / have the potential. What techniques do you use and what do you think works?

@DocHoliday yes I exactly mean that with "S" or "is sounds I "intuit" that people do this when they have a system of systems or ... systems of systems of systems ( paradigmatic / cross-paradigmatic understanding). I use the terms Ken Wilber uses. Yet for instance, Gerald Hüther does not seem to know that there is something beyond it yet, assumes there is the possibility. This is just an observation can easily be false. I am just very curious about stage turquoise which is late vision logic (cross-paradigmatic thinking / systems of systems of systems). From what I've read and maps I've seen. It is quite funny how these sounds like I am going to go "cult" most likely have a reoccurring pattern, cars coming by, dogs barking, birds singing. Like "the hum and buzz of the world" as Alan Watts says. It's like.. you watch a video about an IT topic from an Indian being on youtube and the car horn comes at the "perfect" moment I am by far not the only one who seems to "intuit" that when I see travelers on IG or youtube, who are stage yellow cognitively and even a lot smarter than most humans are, they notice these sounds like part of the system of life. The video you showed is a perfect example for systems of systems or systems of systems of systems thinkers lol.

I am going to be a bit weird, yet it is funny how "Gerald Hüther" would repress the next stage of yellow. Just by listening to sounds.. and I am not going to also, nicht wirklich jetzt. Explain how I derived at this because it is simply retarded. Yet, for one's own observation and I am still not sure on this. Gerald Hüther notices he makes this high pitched sounds, yet he does not seem to know what is beyond it, yet that the environment reacts to it and I only heard stage yellow ppl make these sounds. I know it's retarded. Yet, I assume you guys know what I mean... @DocHoliday @Shiva For example: Or: Here is a letter from Ken Wilber describing in detail each phase of vison-logic / stage yellow in a bit more detail. Also, to reach the higher levels of psychic, subtle, casual, non-dual etc. A basic fundamental understanding of each stage has to be there to spoiler content. http://www.perspectus.se/tjordan/Wilbercomment.html Btw. the interview with Gerald Hüther is awesome this guy is so compassionate it is insane. For relationships, I enjoy watching the content of Dr. Keith he also has a Ted talk and is a member of integral life. I am not posting the Ted talk!

Just came back from a weekend retreat. This is one of the funniest and greatest talk cool. I've seen so far.

@Hellspeed Thank you for the information. This is interesting, I will dive deeper more into this when the opportunity arises! Read the two articles, I assume I can be somehow happy that I ate sand as a child or chew on paper? Maybe not lol.

Are there any forums where one can get a lot of cooking recipes that are adjusted for people who want to maintain high performance, at best vegetarian or vegan? I am currently using only IG, to find inspiration. Yet, stuff like meal prep etc. Takes a lot of time to learn I assume, plus my kitchen is very small. I mostly cook with basic/staples food, yet I don't have a very good clue to where I can find a website or forum or app. That helps me took prepare food for several days or one week. Also, simple meal prep which is good for lunch would be cool. I only found stuff that was way over my head. Similar to something like this. This is awesome, yet I can't try it because of a lack of cooking utensils.

@Hellspeed Does this have something to do with prebiotic and probiotic food, the food in Leo's video would be prebiotic. Which strengthens the microorganisms in the gut/intestine, also most of them are dietary fiber they stimulating good intestinal/gut bacteria. Probiotic is strengthened by dairy products and raw fermented dairy as you mentioned, yet I am not sure what kind of cheese? Cheddar and gouda? Probiotic helps with removing damaging germs. Also, the microorganisms multiply by taking in probiotic food and their bacteria in the gut, also the microorganisms are not being decomposed by lactic acid. Overall eating probiotic meals help with depletion of milk sugar in case one has problems with lactose. What is meant with nutritional value? Why does it not provide any? Do veggies not contain a lot of vitamins and carbohydrates? So, at least I am getting full and am able to work. What would be lacking? I am taking b12 and iron supplements because I am living a vegetarian/vegan "lifestyle".

I am not sure if this helps, yet I am going to be so free and give my opinion. I only did one retreat and a couple of retreats online, sometimes it feels like logic is transcended like how can a person online say something out of the blue that fits into my pattern of thoughts? Even if I skimmed through some book just 1 or 2 days before. And it had no context whatsoever with what has been said, it was sort of a new rule paradigm... for the transpersonal realm ...? He did not see me, he can't read my body language, he can't read my facial expressions, yet why do some thoughts randomly overlap. Idk. I put my real name on the list, this would be the most rational answer. Another thing for me was seeing a turquoise zen master and by comparison a couple of green and stage yellow people (2 ppl who studied physics + others) The zen master always said something exactly at the right moment and really slow and steady as it is usual for Soto-zen while we were having a sesshin. I did not have a turquoise experience, yet really beside maybe one LSD trip. Where I barely liked the tail of the ox in hindsight. *cough* But, for example, it was obvious that the stage green people built an identity around their spiritual practice. Also, they thought that or it came across for me that they thought... (Leo also said smth along those lines ) they were on the same level of development as the turquoise master. Yet, it was so different it transcended yellow clearly. Yellow was just quite and amazed imo or was just taking part and being part of the experience/system etc. I only sat one time in front of him and it felt like there was no need for concepts I was more aware and awake, yet that could easily be an illusion. I still thought etc. Similar to the LSD trip I tried to grasp what stage turquoise is like to let go of what I know and it felt like I had to give up survival. Even when I thought I know so little, this should be easy. Yet, my mind wanted to survive. Till I felt I almost became one with a sentient being during my LSD trip which seems to be a common description for stage turquoise. (Integral Psychology, or cook greuters 9 levels of development). Not sure if someone can relate here, yet during the last retreat my solar plexus/sternum popped open, it felt like a valve being released and a flood of emotions that are very difficult to identify, I would call it steam was being flushed through my body. I was not able to identify the locations of those feelings. I had to cry hardcore and in an instant as soon as I heard the voice of the person and cried instantly. I felt like an emotional psychopath, I could not deal with the intensity of this and I looked at my body, my solar plexus was pumping. I saw that something that I would describe as a small metal ball a bit below my sternum moving upwards and downwards rapidly. This happened two times, out of an incentive of feeling unable to care and wanting to care more. I also thought and felt I was almost dying... not sure if this is a precursor to stage turquoise or more relatable to other stages. I still feel like I am stuck in yellow hubris. A bit...

Thank you for the information this is great !!

I read that alkaline levels can improve solely through breathing. Most sites recommend the wim hof technique. I found this because I heard that deep breathing helps with alkaline levels. https://sunwarrior.com/blogs/health-hub/3-surprising-simple-ways-alkalize-body

No one posted about him.

Stage turquoise *cough* talking to yellow. P.S I don't cough, in reality, I think I need more skill.

@moon777light Mostly I assume it is just stages of SD, it is also comparable to a libertarian stance of freedom and autonomy, what is so great about an individual like that? His influence, his life, his money, his family, his friendships, his world, his privileges, his intellect, his status etc. Yet, I feel what is missing often is a differentiation and integration approach to all of those hierarchies of systemic values ranking and personalities and biological predispositions. That form a gestalt. Same with liberalism what is so great that a human being has his integrity or "irreproachability" being protected by the legislature or in the constitution. Country etc. The protection itself creates the worth. Which has been created since human stories and their tragedies keep unfolding, while we take lessons and draw meaning. For instance, Victor Frankl's book a means search for meaning. Displays this in the most gruesome scenarios of the second world war. It is as if meaning is created either as a result of great suffering, because of a dedication to love, or the will to will itself meaning the creation of a will. I agree with that, yet I had to google the word unalienable meaning that it can't be uttered? Or are not being able to remit once rights to another. I can't sell my right of freedom of speech to a kid in St. Lucia. The same with him selling his right, I remember that Ken Wilber.. addressed one point of that we do not have enough global (male) human rights. So, I can't tell how that would look like. For instance, Nestle buying wells in Africa to procure water for the poor. Another a capitalistic form of colonialism? Considering their products. Most likely this exactly becomes the point, as long as no storytelling or philosophy exists. If we can't create any meaning or (have a quadrant like an approach) or multi-perspectival approach, not aperspectival. It will be reduced to one flatland. So, any reading in that regard will help to grow horizontally in any quadrant. Which is great to know the map and the obstacles appearing on the multi-level parkour. It still this theory was built and extracted out of others. Most human beings have a couple of quadrants covered or let's say body, mind, and family. Is what most western countries run on, without including the aspect of values inside these concepts. (Success, compassion, intellect etc.) Or rather politeness in tight cultures and not loose cultures. Like Canada or the U.S. Comparing Japan, "Germany". https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-conscious/201306/some-it-tight-some-it-loose What I want to say is everything will be reduced to one flatland approach. I would love to draw from history but I can't yet. But let's say you are a samurai in Japan and were injured in a fight joining Rinzai zen cloister afterward and everything is reduced to a spiritual flatland. Or a mad scientist only caring about his objects of creation. All of these stories I feel more and more are there to create meaning, even one's own story, as an avid journaler. Attaching meaning, extracting concepts and principles, is great or can be. Yet, what I've read in an article about Vajrayana is and this is going to be sexist. Women often embody the wisdom function, let's say mother nature takes to care for heaven's sake. While men often embody the aspect of practice. Anything is special about an individual as long as one can entertain that notion regardless in which aspect. Yet, no idea how this is an experienced concept like, besides that, I would even care less and would love everything... so, in that regard. Knowledge is power and concepts are hindering, it is scary to let go of that, while it is a safety need in regards to everything almost. So, not consciously trying to think and doing nothing while still retaining knowledge is quite bewildering. Hope this was somehow useful !

Hello, forum I am a bit confused about how to deal with people in group works, especially since I feel I need to polarize more in order to get something done, yet I feel bad afterward's and from what I've read. I am not sure how to deal with situations that are so polemic or seem even political. Many are great at doing that and seem to get the task done extremely efficiently. Yet, I struggle with the diversity of peoples character, even with a little experience here and there. I feel I lack the know-how and knowledge to lead a team appropriately, or I am just afraid to mess up and lose my repute even if it only exists on a small spectrum and that seems to be odd. I can't assess that very well, because I often feel I can get into anything. Yet, thanks to my diversity with human beings literally human beings around. Yet, nobody wants to work systemic. And is out for that one way to achieve the best result? Not sure if I am interpreting that correctly. Or that much yellow. Especially, in tech after watching many videos. I am not sure if people are complete idiots, just grinding on their intelligence and skill sometimes, yet being super nice. Or, emotionally crippeled to life. They are hard-nosed the few creative people are more laid-back and communicative. (Big 5 or we) Yet, I often feel this is where diversity triumphs, but these "Humans" tend to not want to deal with any social aspects that include triggers at all. Which I can understand, yet this is why I do not understand how group work is supposed to unfold. Different fields also make it complicated. Every female in my class even if she is status wise is under them is included in some group. Yet, as a cisgender male from an ethnic background, I often feel I have to polarize more, to be let into groups. Yet, when I have status aka good grades or a clean slate. Then I get offers, yet then I often mess up the process of group work. By not doing the work. Is this all that it is about, I struggle with a topic, nobody is proactive and calls someone else only friends? I worked now in various group projects and I do not know if I am putting too much of an emphasis in this, yet the potential areas where I could work in would include that aspect also. So, how to deal with group and office politics, when you want to rise as a leader? Besides having the most important (Stage Yellow perspective) IMO. The competency and the assessment of using the spiral and differentiating process from a system, delegating tasks, asking people what they want to work on, having competence teams that complement each other, what lacks is a vision mostly here, so the friendship future vision triumphs the project vision. I do not know how to sell them an LP, potentially that would be great lol. Considering how toxic people are, who works together with the best with whom, who has which hidden talent. How can I motivate? How can I contribute? Ideally, have the entities do their own thing without any external incentive. So, 100% intrinsic drive. What I lack with is the following: What binds a group besides a vision, especially lazy students. How much can be forced on an assertive level? How can I polarize more to gain more social influence, in order to have a larger outreach of potential, career paths etc? I am not sure how to consciously befriend people, I start small talks and ask if they want to do smth? I always wanted to be part of a real "college" or "school" experience. Yet, I choose the wrong uni for that definitely. Yet, then I retreat because they turn unconscious and either way I laugh so hard, because they never dealt for instance literally, with an Indian sounding voice in real life which annoys them. And is or can be annoying. Also giving people compliments is not that easy for me. I'll mediate over that though. (30 min compassion exercise ...insert great joke) The difficulty of other humans recognizing that I am part of their culture is what annoys me a bit, not sure how to deal with that besides saying hello, I am there. What are some concrete actions and especially wordings to say when dealing with people? What I do is the following: As much as possible which works. Instead of saying but, I say yet. This has proven to work to not negate an argument Instead of saying commanding give recommendations Remember peoples names Be polite give people honey. Give genuine compliments ( this works fantastic, so I stay in a group with a healthy picture, for e.g simple things as this picture is beautiful it reminds me of xyz song, or this looks amazing I am already feeling goosebumps. yet, it is difficult for me to give heartfelt compliments instead of excitement based ones. Don't criticize ( I struggle with this "German!" habit of lamenting a trillion times) <- Body language: Crossed legs = insecure, four angle lock thingy is competitiveness and aggressiveness, eye contact passive domineering or assertive, body posture, dilation of eyes for interest in a subject, using a phone ( worst sign ever), storytelling, trying to evoke emotions positive ones. Feet position pointing towards you or away, the skull resting on the handpalms. Using meditation skills when interacting with others, only works currently when there is a small break in the conversation or a new environment/human to talk to. (not too much) Basically, my question is as a longtime follower of "leaders". How do I get people to follow me or how do I get into groups, create more friendships? I often feel I need more social status, yet not sure if necessary. I am also quite picky, some people won't change. Which is fine What are some personal success stories that one of you had as a leader, and which thoughts did occur, in combination with what has been read? So, which principles have been distilled. Are there people on the forum who post about this type of phenomenon? I am rearranging my whole study procedure again, after reading a book. Yet, I am unsure how much sleep is necessary to be great.

I am currently struggling with the notion of what is normal. I never enjoyed subconsciously to adjust for various reasons I could interpret. Yet, I know I have insecurities and the normal way seems to hide those, especially in public. I can't fathom why or how humans restrict vulnerability so much, yet I can understand since it breeds a lot of anger for me. I can be very open and vulnerable when there is space for that to the degree I can and it feels awesome. Yet, to have the strength to do that in public seems, quite odd. The more I get to meet people the more I feel they want to destroy any repute that I build because I am tbh. above average and don't like it to be oppressed in any sort of way. Then people abuse that to make me look aggressive when I feel hurt and already technically deal with that emotion because I tap into it. Yet, I am not sure yet this all seems like a big unconscious joke. Even when I sit at the Students Council or Connection, they complain why are you so quiet. Well, I can tell XYZ Introvert etc. I do not talk if there is no reason. Even when I am quite open. Sometimes since I am tall I need to lead the whole conversation that is how I feel, yet I know let alone being on this forum that differences and opinions will differ greatly. And I get angry at spoiled brats like in the past somehow who put themselves above me. In that sense is that even normal? Then people put themselves above me or others because I am not in a position to be above them. Which is fine, yet they forgot that there are many constellations that build up status. Like, size, money, amount of friendships, compassion dimensions, the value you provide, amount of sexual partners you have available etc. To have influence. From what I've read the most healthy approach is to be compassionate and provide value in the specific area. Still, I've read maybe one book about power dynamics indirectly and otherwise watched some videos. I really have a problem with people ascribing an identity towards me which affects me negatively, same with relationships. I do not know what is normal in a relationship since I either see the highly idealistic version that I have, which could be possible or not. Or the unconscious materialistic version which focuses on Netflix and chill, consumption and the holidays, which is fine to a degree. Yet, I feel as if there is something which goes lost. Especially a more conservative viewpoint. Most women in my age group, I basically would need to influence them into practicing vulnerability with me, also meditation and or yoga. Which helps to grow or I feel often that I would be cheated on, since I am a loyal trustworthy idiot basically. Which struggles with abandonment issues, pls kill it, and therefore I reject people in order to not get hurt since I fear rejection. Yet, tbh I am not in a position where I feel I can take these without some support. Which I do not have atm. Since this causes so much anger, especially when questioned that I fear to hurt people since I would do it. In case I would be threatened in the same manner! I fear shamanic breathing since my scar basically hinders me to breathe completely and when I do it even while meditation or anything else, I get so pissed sometimes that I can't even breath normally and have the impression unconsciously that I do smth. wrong. I still do the 3-2-1 process of Ken Wilber, but I think this has limits. This pretty much describes the problem that I have and the solutions that I am also implementing for some time: https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/anger https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/anger/control In that what is a normal healthy power dynamic and aggression? Especially, with anger in relationships or rejection etc.

@lmfaoShadow work or shamanic breathing might be the best tool, Ken Wilber mentioned that Zen Masters had hang-ups with shadow material, for instance, anger was one point he mentioned. Also, that meditation opens up a space of integration of shadow elements and does so automatically "horrible paraphrasing". To give an analogy from Ken he mentioned a deer taking charge at a bramble brush because it is angry is not considered hostile or anything, it is just angry charging against the bramble brush. So, might not be the best analogy. Yet, hopefully, get's the point across, I am still integrating this now with more sports!

@lmfao Yeah, I did Thick Face Black Heart. But needs a couple of re-reads with life experiences. I can understand it a bit since I lived in China, that is why I like it a lot. For instance, the boss had such a "big face" that everyone worked hard, and he had a "perfect" life. Multiple startups, always on the go was married which is culturally extremely important. Etc. Nobody would dare to question him(note I don't speak any Chinese languages), and everyone paid him a lot of respect and worked giga hard when he was there, it dropped dead silent and you could only hear the bosses voice upstairs talking very very intelligently and friendly by tonality, yet I have no idea what actually happened. Me and my co-worker from France always had to laugh at weird Chinese social interactions no idea, for me it felt like an anime I am legit not kidding lol, I loved it. Many people in the startup went to uni, no idea which. The French guy did his masters in economics Still, somehow either the culture or the boss abused the people, not sure most people stayed an hour longer. So, by contrasting culture and imagining how business is like. This book can be fantastic imo. For whatever purposes. I read the book integral psychology, this is a great resource talking about psychology and spiral dynamics. Premodern and Modern to Postmodern changes in culture. Theories from Psychologist such as Kohlberg and Cale Gilligan, various stages, quadrants, lines, levels. AQAL -> All quadrants all levels all lines are explained. Yet, it is okay to read, a bit technical, I am not a memory genius. So, talking about it helps or writing. I took a glimpse into the book, stage red is described by the lord of the flies, for instance, power drives, feudal lords, heroes, dragons. Is the basis of feudal empires, is power driven, egocentric, impulsive, heroic. (See any anime fight). "The Feudal Lords protect underlings in exchange for obedience and labor". Also, power and glory enjoy self to the fullest without regret or remorse. Can be equated with a black heart. If it would be the social sword and thick face the social shield. Where seen: Jame bond villains, wild rock stars, Attila the Hun, rebellious youth, frontier mentalities, epic heroes. I can see what you mean with that, owning anger especially with the preference of choosing anger as something good is from my point of view an awesome choice, instead of repressing it and denying it. I am owning my anger more and more. Sports is the game changer for me, yet I cought I could so I am missing that streak for now. Especially, in case you want to grow up stages in the Audibook integral transformation which came out this year, Ken Wilber mentions that weightlifting especially helps, to grow, since its activities the body. It helps with neurogenesis as is commonly known now and helps also to grow in the emotional line and one other line(+growth overall) Also, that training the "subtle", "casual", bodies the physical body is the "gross" body helps to grow in stages like tai chi etc. I am also doing a compassionate meditation now and split it up into 2 segments because I can't stand being overly compassionate for 1h. It is draining, and I feel too many setbacks from that 30 min works is perfect for now. The flow ( i am going by technique name) inside the body feels similar to anger, yet warmer, more colorful, happier and merrier. I feel it helps a lot with jealousy and frustration, I am by predisposition not a very jealous person, I am more ... resentful and frustrated. So, this is great. For counteracting that. (All three emotions). I have this from JP lectures and websites where I took the big 5 test. I assumed you might have read the book Quiet, I always wanted to buy it. Yet, never felt it is that important. I will still buy it in the near future. Ideally. I like MBTI, yet I made myself crazy, I still glimpsed into it. Reading it too much I feel I define myself to one stereotype at one hand at the other I feel when I know how each function works that I can use it to understand ppl and myself. I rarely get types wrong besides INTP, I often think they are ISTJ an ISFJ.. Even after watching so much of Leo's content + LP course. I like it as a model to deal with individuals and seeking out people who I know I click with. For instance, I get along the most as an INFJ with ISTJ is for me the most humorous of all times, INTJ and ENFJ work extremely well. I like all types. So, I don't care that much. This is the video I watched in the past about introversion and extroversion.

Not sure if useful, the second video has subtitles. (Did not watch it) Seemed interesting.

@Serotoninluv Thanks a lot! This pretty much sums up, to a degree what I went through the last micro-retreat! In addition to the 48 laws of power and let's say ... Makiyo to take this a little deeper. This is from some paid source from Shinzen where I took notes on for other reads, I assume you know all of this by content. EXCUSE GRAMMAR! Phenomena that happen when you are meditating: Makiyo: Visual type things, can happen when you have physical stress, sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation, hot cold, extreme pleasure, pain. It can get into the way of spiritual practice it also is the content of spiritual practice. The devil in zen is considered something that is getting in the way of spiritual practice. Content and Nature of consciousness -> When gods or deities appear on refers to them on the content of consciousness mostly, because they are either way freaked out or they are intersted and relate to it. What ever comes up is observerd with mindfulness and equanimity. Including the reactions to meditation. Be precisie and detach and observe that material. What is happening at that time. The creativ activity of consciousness is creating this world. Underneath these forms are movement of consciousness, it is like a turning in the ocean or the turning of buutter. It is formless wilness and effortless. These forms a flowing up and are generated, the more detached you become the more real they get, untill you beomce completely detached from them and they become the pure energy of expansion and contraction. Insight into how the mind produces experiences or consciousness. Sublte grasping unconscious does that. You are near the source of unconscious or near the unconscious. Any grasping becomes a thing and can be observed and if not no solidifying and it becomes activated. -Subtle little vibrations expansion and contraction high frequencies. Enlightenment is you are comfortable in the dark. Clear light is expansion and contraction at a high frequency. That can be an object of meditation the frequencies.

I assume "wu wei" is effortless action, action without having an intention of having an action or non-attached action as I think you described. Open presence is one term Krishnamurti used. I loved this so much I trained auto-think from Shinzen Young for a time, do nothing feels different imo. Yet, stayed with the overall "system".

@lmfao I know what you mean with "Wu Wei" in case I remember and correct me if I am wrong, it is effortless action. I love this when I can be humorous with someone or it occurs out of a situation, where it feels more like a high state of concentration. Especially, innocent humor is lovely. Did you ever read the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"? WhatI know about introverts is that they have a different brain structure, they tend to be more verbose, yet worse problem solvers in juxtaposition to extroverts, also they have a different facial structure, so extroverts look like they smile more often or happier overall, on pictures. Another/Same thing I read with energy levels, that introverts tend to have energy levels drained by interactions while extroverts are fulled by them. This was from an ASAP Science video years ago. I can go in a bit more detail about the BIG 5 which has been broken up, for interest sake. Where introverts that have a low in conscientiousness get more done than extroverts, yet it is the opposite when they are high in conscientiousness. I am assuming the trait and that you are familiar with the single traits, that I am discounting orderliness. Since industrious is basically ambition or action taking. Extroverts with low conscientious levels get bored and start distracting themselves. I can see this with friends, they also tend to have worse grades and academic achievement overall, even when high in openness and especially if not. Take Joe Rogan or so for as an example. His drawing skills are excellent, yet he moved out of university for whatever reason. I saw the same with friends here the very extroverted and lazy human beings struggle with keeping up with exams, yet they enjoy life a lot. Also, that introversion somehow developed already in apes? That the extroverted apes went down and explored while the others stayed on trees. In case you are interested to feel free to elaborate lol. More or less, I listened to an Audiobook since I caught a cold where Ken Wilber... talked about Shadow work and aggression and I went through my notes from the Integral Life forum. Where they talked about aggression ( Ken Wilber and a different Psychologist than Dr.Robert Keith, what I can recall is. That anger is an energy that wants to move forward, Ken talks about a story on the integral life platform where, he sliced open frogs, and was very very ambitious and competitive, also the relationship towards his father, yearning for him to come home etc. It is or seemed a bit psychopathic, yet ( I don't know what a psychopath is besides that he has cold empathy and not any sort of affective empathy, manipulates people to his advantage and is a liar). The word anger somehow can be retraced back to the verb "to agrees" which means to move forward, so it can be a healthy expression of anger. With shadow work in the audiobook, he mentioned that instead of projection making the first person anger I, into a third person liaison, hence.. projecting it on an object or it. Yet, what happens with shadow work is that the anger is not projected upon others anymore, instead owned. I did that a lot during the last year now almost two years in Feb/March. He also mentions as one grows through the spiral more shadow elements are being added and that if shadow work is not done, lower shadow elements of lower stages, stay as residuals. So, instead of projecting what happens is that the trait is renowned and not projected onto a third person object. Meaning I become/own my anger and stop blaming, criticizing that others are angry and criticizing me out of anger, meaning I stop projecting and say hey this xyz gestalt is so angry, everyone is angry besides me, I am so perfect I never get angry etc. I simply become angry, which scares me a lot , .... sometimes can be a lifesaver, anger is expressed instead of repressed to make a long story short. That's it. I was using, for instance, my anger last week on the treadmill testing how fast I can run/sprint. As I felt my body moving with anger as movement or shitty wu wei inside my body. It was effortful. (the energy move me into producing more effort) What I was somehow asking subconsciously is if vulnerability and anger are correlated. Yet, I can't find an answer I feel anger is a defensive stance towards a healthy expression of vulnerability. Agree, yet I never felt I could stop carrying that is why it pisses me off lol. So, I bought the book 48 laws of power, to see the mechanisms behind power games and use them myself when necessary. Yet, networking would be more beneficial to deal with this as training. I attended 3 networking events in my life and there was more of a natural aping than power aping, like in politics. Or forums..., so just getting to know people and buzzing off at one point was kind of cool. While I did not drink alcohol, this was even more fun. But uh, scary lol.