ValiantSalvatore

@something_else I don't know I just matched two girls that look like models one is even interested in me right now. I fucked up one message I think. The point is some like IM and some don't and write longer messages, so I have to write instantly to see what I kind of women I am dealing with I figured just now... Younger women seem to like IM more. I am using a plattform with a small pool of women on OkCupid. I had 5-6 dates approx. in 5 months. I am good looking I even receive compliments to work as a model and I am tall, yet I can't fully show my world due to injury etc. People constantly ask me why I do not have a gf. I've consumed now plenty of material and I am refining as I do think this is something that can automate itself if I know the principles my friend basically get's laid/dates weekly through tinder in a small pool enviroment 120k city. After 1 year or so, so I am learning from guys that would include you who have a lot more experience especially also in the course. I sometimes spot mistakes, I really do like feedback so I ask fairly often. I do not like to be stuck on a problem for to long. It depends like I said I do get hot women online not straight up stunners yet very highly attractive women who are fit physically etc. As I modified my profile that way. Yes, night clubs etc. are better, yet I notice I would do better doing day game and online as this would fit in more with my life purpose as night game ruins a lot of stuff. Although I feel it's the best learning ground. That is my main focus the guys in the course tested this way more extensively (60 profiles up at the sametime from a marketing guy) and some say the intro message matters a lot as this is also what get's the most matches initally not my profile, it really is the message ironically. A good profile sort of comes second. I think men over idealize the model level guy who has a dog and is super social or just some super tall guy who is handsome. It's way more subtle same with pictures. Obviously being a jacked model instantly would eliminate all issues. I agree, yet somehow they can do it in the course and it does not even sound to far off, this is not my focus so i have no idea what to do. As well as I can't recall the concept right now. That is why I was asking they are able to interrupt and find a way to talk to the women who is online. I don't have any number in mind I just message till infinity, my pool is empty as I am learning the principles as this was my main goal as well as to find a girlfriend. It's definitely not easy as I spend 50 minutes a day for 90 days I am in day 50 or so now as a way to embody and learn the principles as this also helps with women in the real world. I basically have a 10% message to match rate so I've sent out 600 messages approx have 60 matches and went on 5-6 dates. That is my current sort of numeric enumeration of this stuff. For results sake. I am more out to learn principles and find a gf. I'll stick to the course if I find a way to get around this consistently I'll make a post explaining as I do know this is possible. I look better than almost all guys in the course, so I just trust the principles more than the superficial stuff.

@something_else Yeah there are ways from the course on how to interrupt her attention and force her to chat with you in a sense by, yet I do not like IM anyway you found a way to keep the conversation going after it is dead? Or stopped abruptly? The numbers game sure it's happening, yet I find it's sort of an issue of attraction and interest. There are more ways to test this, yet I am currently not finding the right message I don't even get for instance like nope sorry not interested message or smth. like that. They just sit in my online friends list. I am used to getting ghosted. I just know there are some ways to deal with this from the online-dating course. And currently I just mess up some messages I feel. The ways are either strong IM or no bs approach IIRC,

@Striving for more Yes, thinking about it even functionally in any sense 7 days of positive thinking nlp won't do much. In contrast to having lived XX amount of years. You can even see the challenge as a feedback mechanism on it's own. Self-accountabillity is also very powerful. I am not there, yet as I feel like I am an autist of some sort and can burn-out. So striking that balance is not easy. Atomic habits is also a great sort of must-read for ideas how to stop procrastination. You can also change it from the outside in by changing the enviroment. I know especially most likely in spiritual circles people do not want to admit that. Yet, it's the same as going to a retreat the enviroment is conducive for growth. So don't only think that this is internal, it is also an external issue.

@Striving for more I'd go for visualization instead you can even look at Lex Fridman for instance he did a stoic visualization before a physical challenge. Sometime ago. I've mentioned my anecdotal evidence. As well as it is well-known that many athletes perform better thanks to this. There was other stuff in the past for instance overall my interactions with others became more social and benign. It does work and NLP/CBT improves stuff it's a good solution, yet personally in my experience enviroment design works the best for procrastination. Getting rid of anything that causes procrastination to beginn with. I would rate a positive visualization of your goals/change similar to what is written in the book psycho-cybernetics as very very powerful more powerful than NLP practice. Since you are working with all sense gates. Shinzen also worked as a neuroscience consultant and this changes your cognition to an more positive outlook etc. I bought a Tony Robbins book and never read it I skimmed a bit of it. I've seen one guy leave from the forum who was very succesful and his friends to complaining about Tony Robbins products. Leo does not hold him very highly either. NLP IIRC is very stage orange you only work with cognition it's a top down approach. It does work I've done CBT on my own as well as the process from the life purpose course is very similar. It will unwire some of it, yet also show you how deep the "rabbit hole" is. Same with positive visualization it will make the process more smoothly and you will be able to notice the qualitative difference of your experience and also the depth of the negative ones. You can certainly actualize the positive intentions and feelings and bring them to the foreground more through a visualization practice. Mindfulness also works for behaviour change at best paired with an accountabillity partner. I find finding the accountabillity partner the more difficult thing. I am still sort of learning all of this also as positive thinking was not a strength of mine, yet I notice I am more positive and happy around people and not as much entrenched in the drudgery and complaining mindset of medicore people. If you get what I mean. You can setup a plan for behaviour change and do the NLP or create a plan for behaviour change and do the visualization process. CBT is good, visualization is even more powerful. CBT helped me for instance overcoming insecurities and fear of interacting with others. Visualization helps me to enjoy the whole process more and make it a positive experience as well as generates faith/hope, yet that can also be an illusion if action is not taken. Especially if you are young I personally would dedicate 1 year of just doing positive visualization if you are serious about spiritual work. You can start with 30 days and just see for yourself. I am currently 6-8 months in or longer and I am finding stuff that works for me. ( I visualize getting matches online, getting a good grade on my thesis and an affirmation for self-love/acceptance). --- I'd recommend checking out psycho-cybernetics you can do what you feel would work best for you trust your intuition!

@Striving for more Yes it does work I am currently doing positive visualizations for about 6-8 months although it's important to imagine also overcoming obstacles. I am doing it for 30 minutes a day. Generally I stop before the full effect kicks-in. Yet I am pretty happy with the results in these dire cirumstances. Received a good grade more synchronistic events less negative thoughts. Dated a doctor. More attention from women thanks to positive vibes, fingered some girl almost in the club. Etc. Positive visualization I also did some "micro-retreats" there is very powerful. It just takes time to kick-in as well as you deliberately have to change your actions also, otherwise it's a hoax and wishful thinking. Feeling that stuff is strong. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abRaPYjb6mA 7 days won't do shit for longer periods of time. If you did the LP you did 30 days yes CBT/NLP can work. I've done some on my own. (More CBT than NLP) for me it's one and the samething. I generally feel very happy and do have periods where I feel enthusiastic and I can't stop experiencing subtle levels of joy. Obviously previous meditation practice is carrying me also. Also, the more information you consume about these topics affirmations can work apparently some are more powerful than others. Yet, I focus on what works in that sense. Some feel more powerful I generally combine an approach of feeling,affirmations and visualizing. According to what Shinzen teaches similarly and I've asked him personally he says it works. Yet, if you want science to prove it. I am unsure if I can help you there. Behaviour change is the most difficult thing IMO on my PD journey. This can help yet I feel enviroment design is way way more effective and getting rid of old tirggers that create a negative routine. If you want to stop procrastination etc.

Yo one scientific reason is that your insular cortex inside the brain stops producing a pain signal. When you sit down and do the thing/activity/task you want to do.

@itachi uchiha Holons itself. If you want to understand and see more of stage turqouise that is a direct way of doing that. Another example stage turqouise is also again a we oriented spectrum of SD. Turqouise communities are highly conceptual Stage turqouise is very interested and involved into self-transcending practices Activly breaks out of the survival paradigm. etc. The holon episode gives a good viewpoint from what you can read by Wilber. So you don't neccesarily need to read Wilber.

@itachi uchiha Contemplate what a holon is the episodes from Leo about holons is very good. In general anything from spiral dynamics helps as well as from Ken Wilber. Most likely not, yet you will be able to get glimpses and grow into it.

Being online consistently also puts you ontop of the algorithm you are basically rewarded for being online IIRC, this is how tinder works currently.

@Javfly33 I am still running sort of "testing" what works online to not experience a lot of bullshit I can give a general rundown from a course. I am currently in the 47'th day of online dating challenge. I will keep it simple without concepts. I am not the best I am getting better...way better... Something about what was in her profile she mentions she likes golfing,cycling,tattoo,weird t-shirt, weird pose, vacation, values etc. great talk about that. Commonalities I wrote one girl we both have a lactose intolerance and we matched for example. Ask for her number when you basically would also in real life when the conversation is at it's high point, ya'll both have a great time Never call it a date it's a get together of some sort Zoom meets can work you can prepare stuff also and it's a low pressure enviroment for her Some chat longer yet you can ask to meet 3-4 text messages in approx. so you can fitler out the girls who will flake faster you can see for yourself Asking about her schedule is good Generally ask Leo Check out how the algorithm of tinder works tinder and bumble have an elo score Tinder also changed their algorithm to be more lenient Online-dating is a marathon more than a sprint Silent girls can be meet with humour although most of the time she won't be interested (my experience) I can type more depending on the question I am currently implementing still stuff from the course. So these are ideas that can be put to test. I am in no way an expert yet. I am on OkCupid I do think this plattform is great for testing as the algorithm can be bent towards your favour more. Also, you won't be punished for messaging many girls and can test what kind of inital messages work.

@Nahm What do I think about the ideas of sacred masculinity and sacred femininty? I have not been able to partake in a session where I could explore these concepts. --- In general some food for thought. https://medium.com/queen-s-children/the-sacred-masculine-6dd6110c3988#:~:text=So the sacred masculine%2C then,without domination%2C leadership without force.&text=You could say all wars,realize a “masculine” ideal. https://integrallife.com/man-up/ I listend to the talk once, yet in general I find it an odd place to express masculine energy and I did not fully read about it from a sheer energy quality perspective. The full version has a lot of content about shadow, aggresion and healing and that some people eroticise their wounds. Any thoughts on how the be fully masculine without causing harm. I still do think compassion is a superpower in that sense and highly masculine. Especially being able to give gifts of wisdom, direction, clarity, competence etc. Without force etc.

Sorry ya'll really miss the point. @hyruga The provider role is one frame you can play, yet this will work entirely differently in different cultures. Imagine I could have dated one girl who would be fine me marrying her but without sex (me being the provider -> older age etc). As well as girls who have higher status than me and I still lead. The point is also there is this language bias again. This is only a signifier being signified. There are so many variables at play it's just not so clear cut and rational. Me being the provider and playing the provider role etc. Is what this girl particularily liked so your intuition is correct. I personally do not like it that much and it's more of an alpha frame of taking care and I mean more alpha brain wave states than what ordinary culture conflates with being alpha. I am not very good in that frame either I might be very good in alpha brainwave states. I prefer independence and interdependence a lot. These roles are also completely jumbled through the entire empowerment movement. I am also turned off by women who want a provider. I most likely frame best in the succesful/adventerous/artist frame although this is one frame that can work successfully from reading David DeAngelos work. It's just not natural to me. As well as the artist frame can be toxic. I definitely need to move there are just not many people here to date/pick up etc. I'd most likely take better care than most guys would of their relationships as i am highly invested in growth. I just could not handle a lazy partner in a sense that is not interested in growth. Yes, provider frame can work. I am just not interested in doing that and I'd rather project a successful guy as this would feel more authentic to my personality.

So I went out yesterday and applied the principles from the video from Leo as far as I can and I basically made out with a very attractive women in the club for 2h or so. We got pretty intimate making out and french kissing, we grinded also most of the time while dancing front to front back to front pretty hard she also went down my crotch and I hers with my hand. I asked if I could touch her bobbies and she agreed etc. I fondeled with them for some time and it was quite fun. I was quite drunk and received last minute resistence in front of her house and she asked me to exchange numbers. I basically continued to ask if I can come with you and just went till it really was a no in a sense. She also had a friend who was drunk which made things a bit difficult. @Leo Gura What do I do from here on out? Ask to meet again to get out for a drink etc? Tbh, I still have no idea what I am doing I just acted based on what I knew and observed. I just want to make sure I am not overinvesting again, do I just shot a message today ask if her friend is doing fine and see if she is fine. She also talked about a party next week.

Yeah it's just not fun dating orange and/or greens only. I appreciate the advice, yet this does not help at all as this is what I am doing already.

Just to set this clear I received 0 response. So the heavy escalation and Leo basically saying I am paraphrasing that she will not meet up. Was true in this case.

@Ulax @mememe This might set the nice guy frame. Winks in general are very bad. Also this gives her control. Which can be an issue from what I consumed till now. As you are not leading. You consistently have to say and do let's do this and let's do that. For instance a female friend of mine told me she likes it when I do this. As well as dislikes it that her boyfriend is not leading. I do this with guy friends too because they can't come to a decision often and they just like it when I lead because I take literally everyone every single fking time into consideration till I forget myself. So overall good intentions I don't think this is solid advice. It's well meant. I basically respected her boundries by not forcing to go with her and obnoxiously nagging and crying etc and needily asking for example. To go with her as would already requires consent from both parties. She basically initiated a kiss at the end and just has more options because she was good looking this was more an opportunity for a fling. She told me she is going to a party next week and I asked her what she is up to because I wanted to setup a date right of the bat. This was her answer. I do hope this is good content for others to reflect or it might not be. The heavy escalation part ruined it and I ruined the intimacy part at the end. If I had space for both of them I could have just bunkered them at my place. That would have worked pretty sure in hindsight. Way to conscious advice you missed the entire context. I was drunk she was drunk there was nothing very conscious about the experience at all. I appreciate your compassion and empathy! ---- Fun is the last issue all dates I had so far basically said it was exciting and fun, yet the connection part is missing. All of them unequivocally. I can get into way to elaborate "bullshit theory" to explain, yet they all had fun. Physical escalation during the day is my main issue as well as this region. Also, yes! Without quoting. I did not experience Berlin fully I was just out with a friend once and did some sightseeing and meet with another friend during the day for sight seeing. I did not experience the night life at all, it's just compare it 3mill ppl. approxx to 20mil ppl. approx. in Beijing and Shanghai. So, Berlin seemed rather small to me. I lived in Beijing and visited Shanghai. My friend basically had the option to call some dude for psychedelics they would come by in a car and bring it to you basically a drug delivery service. I have no idea what goes up in the "underground"/night life in Berlin, yet apparently this was an option. We just went for a beer and kebab.

@Kshantivadin Nah, definitely agree. I'd watch a good fight even with violence at best something artsy with tension. Healthy red is good and also feels very good. I certainly do hold back red qualities the vulnerbility part is quite strong. Ppl. are not used to it also with the amount of decedancy present in society.

@Kshantivadin You are missing the entire point of several of my posts. I agree with you here that they are masculine and healthy especially martial arts. Yet, it's undeniable that many of them really also just like to fight and violence is not very conscious. Overall martial arts and sports is a stage red activity. You can read that in the offical Spiral Dynamics book. Healthy red is positive, yet people shame each other for this. Especially if tier 2 is not activated. I would do martial arts if I'd would not be for my injury because I find it deeply inspiring or some more hardcore athletic training. Especially full-body. You can make a hierachy out of it and stage each martial art if you want. I bet there are forms that are more non-violent and conscious because these two things don't correlate, especially considering even morals and history etc. You can have multipe points of view, if it is a how to question we are basically in stage orange/blue territory often. Expert mode also. ---- Overall the activity itself is mostly placed at red, that does not mean the person doing the activity is red. He/She could be on a way higher plane of existence. Especially with daoism and etc, I am not knowledgable in this stuff also there are not many people so deeply entrenched in martial arts that they are able to experience the art at a level like bruce lee. You can also see the art itself as a line of development if you want to be open to that idea/possibillity. There certainly is even kinesthetic intelligence at higher tiers. ---- Which would just include the body and not even the dynamic of masculine and feminine. It's like saying Peter Ralston is a stage red and not higher. Check out the book the zen body being. If you really like this stuff lmao.

I had to laugh so hard reading this.

Just working in a bigger city could help with day game as I am still a total newb to this basically been out two times with knowing what game is.

@mememe Creativity would not be the issue as well as planning for fun and doing fun things. I lived in two other cities that are bigger by population size/figure. I just think Berlin parties are freaking crazy as well as I just like electronic music. So plenty of options. As well as having access to psychedelics faster. I have a couple of friends there and been there last year, it would be to good for me dude. If I was fit I'd be to flexible for this city. This felt like my hometwon and it bored me lmao felt like I explored everything in 3 days. Besides cycling I could handle some cycling training that shit looks scary.

@Carl-Richard Before I get to theoretical, is it not just similar to experiences of archetypes giving messages etc. Just at a subtle lvl domain of experience. I can speak from an integral standpoint. I had my first dream about hell that was weird. I never have nightmares.

I make it sound more melodramatic then it actually was. But the undertone was rather open and sweet let's say it like that.

@Leo Gura That is good advice/feedback thanks again. I can come up with smth. original just finding a girl that was not entrenched in stereotypes like her was so nice. It was also late. Close to 7am. Imagine going to a Berlin party... has more game members then Vegas and is cheaper. (Should) ---- @FlyingLotus It was a weird situation imagine. I still lead afterwards as she said no and indicators of interest where all still there. Dialted pupils, holding hands, touching her hips, followed my lead, kissing was apparently even an option. She also said it with a nice and sweet undertone like she almost can't, yet has to. It sounded to surreal. That is why I persisted and still lead I also wanted to bring them home, because this city can be quite obnoxious. Imagine the dude that was making out with her friend came back from the club. After seperating from us somehow. With a rowdy bunch of people in a silver mercedes. 3-4 guys polyandry 2.0. Snipping at me subtle cues I already wanted to befriend that guy in the club, but he was just not the brightest. Imagine I had close to a perfect setup and this guy is to stupid to follow me thanks to his pride. My lord. I am going to start dating Eve soon. I tapped his shoulder I would have all bought us a drink for fun etc. Hottest guys in the club are with me surrounded by attractive women. I was super social talking to different people and women and men alike but sometimes...

@Leo Gura What is a good/effective way to close? I basically was persistant and non-needy till in front of her door she said no, when I asked can I come with you. Yet was not really resistant in my opinion I just did not want to force it, because at that point it would have felt needy. Yet, it's not easy to evaluate and the other girl was not fully receptive and was just not as attractive as well as was not attracted to me from my point of view. Before she asked me if I'd join for kebab. At the kebab she basically said no the whole time I still persisted and she still followed in a sense as I was leading. There was some other stuff happening around and I had to make sure people are not being retarded and kill the other girl. This city/region is quite rowdy. She was still receptive to touches I basically just applied some gentleman principles moved her out of retards who'd just straight up crash into her Holding hands We kissed at the end I was suprised that she was still open to that So IOI was still on ---- Anyway did not receive a message till now. What do do from here on out. Last thing I can do is send out insta. As she asked for it. Texting already for more leads.