ValiantSalvatore

Hey! I just wanted to ask if there is a valid test somewhere where you can see on which stage you are in Spiral Dynamics. I've been listening and reading more or less a lot or not about Ken Wilbers theory and spiral dynamics. I found some research about the validity of Jane Loveingers Ego Development test which is accepted by scientists, yet the test apparently needs a revision. There are a couple of papers about this topic. Yet, I do not have the knowledge or know-how to understand everything in there. Ken Wilbers tends to say in his audiobooks that you can find some test online and take it, first of all I only find german sites and they tend to push your results. So, I would be turquoise, integral and green. When I take a test which was in Don Becks Audiobook Spiral Dynamics to find out which stage you are at I scored differently. So, where can I find a good or somehow valid test ? Or how can I check out which stage I am at when I go through live and reflect about the stuff I heard and read I am affraid of an orange capitalist society which is status based and does everything to ensure it's status quo, abusing the efficiency of people for their own benefits while it does benefit others to a degree. I tend to think about which stages my professors are at and if that makes sense what I am reading about spiral dynamics / wilbers theory or justifies their behaviour. When I look at a healthy orange, and if Ken Wilbers theory is somehow valid/true/useful/partially true or w/e then it would play out like this. Since green is the dominant value structure every stage tends to adopt these values in their structure. So, an orange person would interpret green values through an orange pair of glasses and therefore filter it through an orange perspective. So, multi-culturism is accepted empathy and compassion is valued and opinions of other people and viewpoints are respected / accepted and tolerated. To give an example with blue.. as long as people adopt the rules that are present in their country they "can" be regarded as one group, although this does not entirely work imo. So, I want to give a personal example since I can't find any tests which seem good/valid, I worked in a post-production company in London which is a financial city and worked there near Soho ( where most banks are ? (orange move)) and worked there 10 m away from the Tower Bridge. The post-production company was very orange success and achievment driven, equality was based on the fact that women have the same capacity to be as succesful as men and people where treated fairly. ( not like green where gender roles and ideas are perceived as a social construct). My boss seemed to be or have some integral tendencies, this guy liked chaos was super unassuming, enjoyed Allan Watts and was not the slightest authoritative, only to the degree where it was neccesary and really enjoyed listening to perspectives while not listening to them since he has to and this is culturally accepted now. He just seemed to be in a constant flow. Yet, he was also quite materalistic since this was the film industry, so he had to adjust his behaviour to other people who seemed to only care about their status and success and making some business deals which benefit them and he was quite good at it and also still quite young. So, I can't tell if this guy was orange or integral. Yet, walking through the city and doing some small errands since it was a classic shitty internship. I could see how money orientated and self-interested these people were they would do anything even use racism or sexism to advance their position, so reverting back to red or some other stage ( unconsciously?) only to gain an advantage over other people and ensure their success. When I meet orange people at Uni they seem similar as long as they have some blue tendencies pure orange is pleasant, yet the coldest most rational driven persona you can meet. Anyway where can I find a test ??

Do any of you guys go regularly to museums and enjoy art? I wondered how an expert artist would buy any of these, it's basically just porn imo. Without a story line and context. When I see all of this digital art you can still edit them after the fact, that they have been created, I am pretty sure there will be tools for that, considering creating logos/symbols/art for games etc. Sometimes the biggest mistake from an artist or so might make the painting seem very good, yet sort of still apprecating the limits of what the human can draw I dunno I've been to a couple of art exhibitions in major places in the art world and I know someone personally who is a professional succesful painter drawing with Andy Warholes techniques, not speaking to him, yet knowing him, it's a massive threat to skill itself imo. I just don't think skill can so easily outsource itself as well as the greed sort of for the tool, there are already codeless enviroments with U.I generative tools, that created a new emerging demand and market with U.I researchers/ HCI and the likes of this is basically the same issue of something creative being outsourced to a new toolbox. I just think more lightly about this topic and it will be a toolbox, when used with caution and I doubt most people are that wise and intelligent lol. I am pretty sure someone will abuse it and people will learn and set a constraint like in any enviroment...

Yeah according to socionics it's a benefit I just like the way they put it. It's all just experience with bias in a sense anyway.

True in my personal experience, I get along with intutives the most that means also logical intutives although worlds differ vastly, it's usually very fun as open-mindedness is just fun usually. That is also a good big5 trait to consider... when dating and also beign high in openess ... these models won't matter when novelty is not stimulated for example. Overall I this is mainly relationship work not very good for dating itself, just measuring compatabillity. I don't walk around typing people all of the time, it's mostly "NPC'S" I type shop keepers, the vendor lady/guy, the architect, construction worker etc. Hope I made this clear and I don't attack a single type. As this get's personal usually quite fast. I also want to hone my skills in this as this is "dealing with people skills", so it comes in handy in more "objective/neutral" situations as well as just friendships and partnerships/communities etc. Socionics looks interesting too I like the compatability of INFJ with ISFP and ESTP as artisans that is true imo, wtih SE,NI.

I am not drawing technical conclusions I think there are flavours to all of this I read socions way way way back once or twice back on odd forums, so I did not like it so much and mainly looked at cognitive stacks I am just going to list a couple of things and explaing that I am aware of socionos, yet have no idea about it besides coginitive stacks and their functions, I dunno if they are seperate theory. I feel as an INFJ 4w5 there are a lot of dynamics in terms of compatabillity without explaining anything in detail. I am mostly matching main types of others from each model. This is mainly my intuition and personal experience. Everything in braces I think can vary tremendously by type. I am mostly intuitive about this I don't have much conceptual readings besides tests and internet pages and infografics/ my own contemplations etc./data/studies/youtub videos/biology of mbti and enna etc. Compatability INFJ: Very good: ENFJ, INFJ, INTJ, INTP, (ENFP/INFP/ESFP/ISFP), ISFJ Good: ENTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISTP, ISFP, ENTP, ENFP, (ISFJ,ESFP,ESTP) Okayish: ESTP, ESFP, ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ (ISTP,ISFJ,ISFP, ENTJ), Not good: ESTJ (ESTP/ESFP/ISTP) Compatability Ennea 4: Very good: 4,9,2,3 (6) Good: 5,1,6, (8) Okayish: 7,8 Not good: (All could be shit for a 4) Compatabillity Ennea subtype 5: Very good: 1,7,8 (4,6), 5 Good: 6, (9,5), 4 Okayish: 3, (9), 2 Not good: 9 Compatabiltiy Ennea 4w5: Very good: 4w3,3w4, 2w3, (5w4 all 8 types if mature including 9w8), 9w1, 6w5, 1w9, 4w5 Good: 3w2, 2w3, 5w4, 1w9, 8w7, 7w8, 2w1, 1w2,7w6, 4w5, (6w7?) Okayish: (3w4,3w2), 1w9, 8w9, 9w8, 5w6 Not good:(All could be shit for this sub-wing type as you are basically a free spirit) No idea: 5w6, 6w7(Dr Keith Witt from Integral I love him, yet I never meet this type besdies from him consciously)

Yeah the booklist can be found in the products section, maybe something unfortunate happend to the account. If you do not see the list and have a receit of the purchase message Leo for the list, I am pretty sure you will gain access immediately. I have the list also for a couple of years now and did not have any issues so far.

https://www.youtube.com/user/PaulChekLive/videos I like him he talks a lot about what stuff actually is I bought his book also I am not done reading and implementing it. I've done some parts of integral courses that include health topcis, this goes deeper in general for a cleaner channel of information. I dunno what else to share at integral for example I learned how mindfulness is applied to eating/dieting/training/my pallet/ how I eat etc. Then something like Peter Ralston or Paul Check are more teaching from an embodied living of consciouness as well as Paul Check teaches more about health/food/diet etc. I like his approach for example I did not know I increase my level of "fungual (negative) activity" when I receive a narcoses, IIRC because vaccine has a strong effect etc. I can recommend his book as a beginner as it's focused on concepts and goals and creating a health vision. Not technical mumbo-jumbo ( which is interesting etc) of how much vitamin c,d,e and B12 I have to take etc. For example he explains how different cultures/civilizations rather have developed their pallet and there are trends for example people living near the equator ate more vegetable food and depending on genetics etc. You can also have a preference I am very flexible for example I can eat according to him everything, easiest to feed hardest to train was his analogy. As I am not an equator type person etc. So I liked this also I generally see seldom holistic health practicionars talk about gene health. I don't even know if that is possible, because of epigenetics but okay. I am also still new to this, as I can't really practice due to injury.

I dunno why it has to be so complicated in terms of content. I think op just wanted to express appreciation of beauty and frame it in a way how most men in a manosphere would understand it currently, as it's a mess. For a guy to "max out" on beauty is advice given in every PD book, the bigger perspective is appreciating beauty. I also think this is what OP is enjoying and wants to pinpoint to, as many guys would misinterpret this. Enjoying for example as a man ones own strength has a beautiful quality in itself. Definitely nice to see someone works for his results and reaps the benefits! I dunno there are many factors that hook women, I mean maxing looks as a good looking guy, especially when I do online-dating and considering results, it definitely works also creativity. Also a body also speaks character, so certainly a lot of ladies will enjoy physically attractive men, I can attest personally. Both sides fit and unfit. Definitely fit is more fun, yet mostly because you value health... and people often feel that energy.

True. Same I did not expect anything. Mostly curious what others are thinking.

Yeah the discussion always drifts when I contribute it does not matter even in rl. I wanted to contribute to sourcing mostly and state my opinion that is it lol.

Not all it was a quick Google search. I am not that interested in finding 5-Meo I was suprpised I found sellers on the clear net at all in 2 minutes. Seems like there is currently nothing at the current location I am at ??‍♂️. One website is apparently very well-known although I don't know if they sell 5-Meo-Malt, yet I prefer people do their own research. Customs here can also be an issue especially oversees. I was surprised it seemed nobody googled it and I found 5-7 offers as nobody explicitly said: "There are mostly scam sites on the clear net etc." As there seemingly are for 5-Meo. Ultimately I don't know if they really sell 5-Meo as I did not contact anyone, as well as I never ordered anything from these sites. The prices are odd on the website you mentioned, where you have to pay 300§+- for 10g 5-Meo-Malt. That website is apparently a total scam. Even the prices for 1V-LSD etc. are way to overtuned. It looks to good to be true and it is scam as far as I know currently. I am not interested in researching as well as sourcing 5-Meo currently.

I would also enjoy it if someone post more hard evidence. Only thing I ever found was the cook-greuter model. I never know if the numbers are correct and where they stem from, actually. If you want to test ego development you can still buy a cook-greuter test that is scientifically valid but costs like 2-3k € IIRC to check the stage if hard numbers. I take her numbers mostly as it coincides with Wilber skeptecism that he mentions, if paid attention to. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/356357233_Ego_Development_A_Full-Spectrum_Theory_Of_Vertical_Growth_And_Meaning_Making I posted this years ago. 12+% apprently according to her research and her model. This map is also good if you just like the theory, I bet you could destroy it also completely. Many are stuck in stage 4 imo. The numbers from their research in the year 2000's were lower then 2010's+. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/263483083_Mature_Ego_Development_A_Gateway_to_Ego_Transcendence

If you mean with really really high you are unable to do something productive in the normal surival sense then yes, this is possible. LSD is 100x stronger imo than any weed you can consume, also not smoking it makes it less exhausting of a psychdelic to take. Did LSD about 20-35 times. DMT I tried 3 times 1 time successfully I would say it's at least 1000x if not 10000x stronger there is no tangible contrast between the two. The experience is so different. Also from LSD, feelings might be similar, yet the experience head space, visuals, body high, internal geometry etc. is very different. I tried magic truffels once, they were also more potent, also 100x+-. The only thing they have in common is that they stretch consciouness/ego depending on how you can handle it. There is no comparrisson besides that weed is definitely the weakest and mildest form of a psychdelic you can take. In terms of it's effect. I like it currently after I have done psychdelics to deal with "anxiety" I am just basically comforting myself. You could also smoke pure CBD I bet or take another substance. Yet, anecdotally weed can help some with anxiety and cause it for some. If I had to compare my highest high and a normal psychdelic trip I would say the highest high feels to ego compressing you actively have to do a lot of work to realize anything. Although indica helps me to relax a lot. LSD or Shrooms are/seem way more benign and loving in comparrisson to cannabis. A normal trip would still be at least 10x more powerful than any super high you experience also with 100x clarity. As synthesis is really on on the substances. I tested some research chems also and I have to say LSD is by far the mildest and most loving thing I've tested out of all research chems in the LSD family, Al-LAD and ETH-LAD are similar in smoothness. 1P-LSD is by far the strongest derivate I've tried, stronger than LSD. ALD-52 and PRO-LAD were the weakest IIRC also not so comfortable as you could control the mind a lot with ego.

Can the mods delete this thread? After some testing the setup works fine, it's just very intense. I think the thread is to misleading.

I have a vape with a 3ml sub-ohm tank and a 0.15ohm coil. I dissolved 1g dmt in 3ml pg/vg vape juice. When I vape it I get a body high, yet nothing more no visuals no breakthrough. I have issues inhaling at higher wattage as it's very intense on the throat, so I don't know if that is a problem. At lower watt settings I can inhale more easily, yet 4-6 puffs in 2 min do not seem to do anything. I've attempted to smoke the vape pen 3 times taking 3-6 hits each in different settings. At 40-50 watt I produce more intense hits, yet I have trouble taking them. I shake the pen before smoking, I fully charged it also and soaked the cotton /wick in DMT at the beginning. I tested on empty and full stomach also. As well as tested the substsnces with an erhlich reagent. Can someone explain why I am not getting any of the classic visuals etc., that people report? Or more common reports? The strongest feeling and perception of it coming on was feeling my body very light and my visual field when closing my eyes becoming ligther and more chaotic. First time I am doing DMT help is very much appreciated. I informed myself via Google as far as I could, now I am stuck here.

Clear net and dark net at both spaces it's unclear how clean the substance is, you have to test the substance with a testing kit to make sure there are no issue/problems. I don't see a difference in risk, besides running a scam site and running in a scam seller regardless if clear and/dark net that is why review sites/reviews exist. I just googled the sites. I don't know if they are safe lol. There are so many offers and options. Check legality also for your country. I can't gurantee any safety.

I have 2g left I will most likely apply a more direct method of smoking dmt I might just plug it as I am very disappointed and anrgy with the e-liquid result. I calculated approx. how much mcg dmt I should ingest per puff with this dosage. Nothing seems to happen. I would like others to test my vape to see what is wrong as people breakthrough with my ratio. If what I calculated is somehow correct I have 5,5 mcg per puff and I puff 4-5 times for a common dosage. I can even see how long I inhale between 2-6 seconds on my vape. As it's very strong on the throat. I can do 1:1 with a 3ML tank it's going to be difficult and more expensive till now I don't like DMT all to much. I would prefer 5-meo I think. I get also a giant headache from it. Do you have any experience with health diet/body sizes/health concerns etc. That helped you to breakthrough for an NN-DMT trip for example fasting before doing DMT, tall people reporting higher tolerance, diet that could help, detox neccessary etc. Anything that would make you more sensetive or is an obstacle to becoming more sensetive to DMT? My setting was good and I was highly motivated. Nothing really happend besides a strong body high. Do you also get a giant headache from this? I've read DMT binds to the 5-H2A Serotonin receptor and taking anti-depressants etc that bind to this can cause a headache, as a so called serotonion syndrom as to much serotonin is present. Which can even be deadly. I did LSD which binds also to this receptor a couple of days ago. As there is no cross tolerance between the substance I can use DMT, although I feel I keep accessing this receptor and it's to much. Am I fooling myself? https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/306889#risks Anyone having experience taking LSD and doing DMT a couple of days later and having the same feeling?

Yes, I've read the same when I go through all methods in my head. What purpose does an e-liquid setup have when I can't breakthrough properly? Is DMT even then worth it? I don't even get visuals currently I have to re-test and use different methods. Also were you able to breakthrough more often after doing detox protocols for heavy metals, with a vape pen and in general?

Also make sure you stack the links on top of each other.

I already found two sellers on the clear net sending to Germany for a cheap price for 5meo-malt. Even reviewed by TrustPilot and with 21 reviews in total. Also a couple of others where you'd basically need to make an inquiry lol. So that could also be a possibillity lmao.

Any feedback to this is this relatebale?

Date: 27.07.21 - 28.07.21 Prep: Meditation + Intentions for 30 min Ingestion Time: 20:30 Amount: 800µg LSD Duration total: 20h Onset: 2h - 21:00-23:00 Peak: 5h - 23:00 - 04:00 Offset: 6h - 04:00 - 10:00 Afterglow: 7h - 10:00 - 17:00 Note: This is an approximation I also smoked smoke weed (pure) during the trip super silver haze that is very strong and potentiated the trip a lot at the peak. I did not even smoke a lot. Because it was to intense, I stopped but I wanted to deepen the trip. Prep: Meditated for 30 minutes with a mindfulness techniques with a don't know open monitoring focus stance. Created a couple of intentions in my journal what the trip should be about and what I want to explore and learn. Onset: 2h: First I took 3 tabs as I was unsure if I should really go for the 800. I thought beforehand what I wanted to do and I just listend to some music and played video games. While I chew on the tabs to not sink into boredom and create positive feelings of joy/pleasure beforehand. Basically activating my inner child. So I played Leauge of Legends for 30 minutes while chewing on the tab ARAM mode. I don't recall if we won or lost I just really wanted to listen to music and play video games as I enjoyed this as a teen/kid. After that I listend to music and started to notice the trip is coming on stronger. I thought about my true intentions and not the come up experience and noticed there is a deep desire in me to meditate and transcend. It was almost to strong I intuited I should not meditate to not further potentiate the trip and cause a kriya experience. Sort of a more balanced approach instead of recklessly exploring an already intense experience. I started to watch videos from various teachers and to subtely meditate. Like I do when walking/eating/driving/ and introduce a lowkey softcore form of background meditation and started to just watch for mental activity and activity in general while watching videos from Leo. For example about god realization as well as from Shinzen Young expansion and contraction flow. I notice the trip comes on stronger and I see the opportuntity to go for the 4th tab. My visual phenomena was still relatively normal in contrast to my experiences with 1P-LSD and ETH-LAD slight drifters and if I had to see stuff drifting I'd really had to focus. Somehow after this I got sucked into more conscious and personally passionate indepdent channels about science/biology/philosohpy/politics like Veritasium, Lex Fridman, Hubermanlab I was so curious to explore their perspectives and to see their level of consciouness. I keept internally checking in if there was any signs of ego death, dissolving, bangha, siddih type experiences, internal geometric patterns etc. I noticed this now I did not once close my eyes during the trip and meditate. I know why I will get to it later. In short it was fear of to much depth and a kriya experience. Basically fear of the causal state. After checking-in (going inside) I keept my softcore meditation going while exploring consciouness in digital space let's say. Peak: 5h: At 23:00 I notice I am peaking while watching some video I watched so many people and explored their perspectives like Sam Harris and how they seem to meditate. I had like the most synchronistic craziest algorithmic YouTube dopamine blackbox deep drift into some blackhat gamified algorithm. It basically forced me to consistently watch the next video. All topics from biology and society how ido movement is practied how it feels like how he experiences doing these ido movements I also watched everything in 2x this seemed very magical to me. As they sort of skipped all unconscious conversations as it was really about awarness, meditation and consciouness mixed with science etc like this. I watched all videos in full length at 2x while meditating I do this also while exercising although that is to much with audiobooks sometimes, when not doing cardio. So basically I am "perma" meditating. When I am conscious of it in a passive stance and not active. Afer this I got a train load of insights about what is happening in the world on the planet just on an information spectrum it felt like an omniscient download, altough I notice I have to not delude myself and thought I mean as long as it's true very true to this experience right now thoughts don't matter. I kept basically slicing mental chatter with mindfulness laser focusing it to death. While watchting the videos. After this I really wanted to enjoy the pleasure side as sort of my inner desire monkey was jumping for excitement and stimulation. Aka my nervous system... back to that later. 23:30 I stopped watching the videos and went to play elden ring as I wanted to explore some cool visual phenomena and the game just looks beautiful on a 240hz monitor with a RTX 3060 with 12gb VRAM. I started the game and I am not very far into it maybe 20-30h and just looked at the landscape as I was mentally so fascinated with the occult and church and religion going through many places in my head I walked through while travelling. I just wanted to look at how death is depicted in general in all cultures and I thought Elden Ring is sort of great when it comes to how western civilization imagens hell/limbo/ or the everbearing battle between good and evil etc. I really was just fascinated by design/code/art and I could not really play the game I got sucked into the beauty of omfg how did they even model this creature like what was the thought behind it? I just explored the area full in fear as I really get like scared by everything I hate horror stuff this is already for me horror or more a jump scare game not horror. I stopped after this because everything started to morph and I absolutely peaked. I got sucked into my chair almost feeling like okay, this is to much. I am definitely now an intermediate tripper, I stopped, went back to the videos and meditated exploring visual phenomena my subconscious goal. As well as exploring consciouness and god realization. The trip was very long so my mind justified it. At one point I got stuck watching a beautiful girl talk about science/cosmology I just stopped and looked at her face as I was unsure if it was morping and I stopped the video and saw her face morph I was like awe-struck for 10-15 minutes in blown into depth. It was a video about science and cosmology. Every video was about life/consciouness and I was so impressed by the work of art of the creator of the videos. I felt a lot of connection towards the amazement of creation/creativity/engineering and just beauty and wonder. I decided to not go deeper and so I did not meditate maybe 5 minutes as the trip was already so intense. It's difficult to describe it in words. Every video I watched had so many information based synchronistic insights. I was just in awe of the constant synthesis nothingless like an ever-cascading wonderland of sheer beautfy of informational depth coming from the infinite mind. I thought about deeper complex questions of god and I was just awe-struck at my own stupidity for not asking these deep questions even more relative ones. Like gods omnipotence, what are considered omnipotent factors? Infinite time? Infinite space? Infinite power? Infinite Consciouness? Infinite Magic? Infinite Creation? How can god even be stopped? What is a limit? What is a contstraint? What is logic? What is a self-reference? Why do I reach back towards myself? Why do I see myself reaching back to my self? I thought about doing UM turn back practice, yet it was all in all to intense and I wanted to explore and not dive in hells deep into a very strong trip. As well as thinking constantly about from and non-form. I was internally deeply relaxed my sense of self was very strongly attenuated. It was more consciouness and I merged more and more in outer space. It was similar to a unification process that happens with hear out technique out techniques from Shinzen and I felt more pan-psychic love equal love for every object that exists in the universe. I was just awe-struck by everything and tried to understand how consciouss the people in the videos are and their thought processes/insights etc. As I also watched Leo/Shinzen/Ralston videos to get more of a taste of non-dual and casual states. I had a lot a lot of insights into cessation and causal state phenomena: I am cracking open some books to describe what I want through. Not in perfection but according to integral theory. As I went into the cessation casual state insights seeing it even in outer phenomenon. I was basically eaten by the clarity of the re-incarnated nature of love. Leo loved me. Shinzen Loved me. In that sense the me the every sense of self that people have and it was like a tear drop of a soul was dropped into every being and it was also my soul in that sense. That would describe the timelessness of the subtle experience... I started to really love the infinite quality of space, infinity quality of potential and imagination. I started to notice this is transcended and an ever deeper state of cessation drops in yet I saw it sort of in outer phenomena as everything was merging and morping and I saw infinite space and depth sort of outside of myself, but not inside myself. It is not easy to describe. I loved pain. I started to love the feeling of pain and it's cessational qualities. My sense of self was ever deeper attenuated I really had to focus to get to the last bits and pulls of it and if I wanted to do that I'd had to go into a deep meditation. Many saints seemed to focus on this path also of subtle self and I felt such a strong conviction of my own saint hood even when I notice my ego still. I was in awe of this clarity of love, spaciouness I could love you in that state if you'd be Hitler I would love you to death as my soul craves this. My theoretical mind went into this ever bearing fractal mode if infinity reaching itself down upwards like my own hand reaching towards my heart telling me and others feel more of this love and bring it to others give them the positive love that they need. All the conversations I watched reminded me about the beauty of being human and travelling. I was so convinced that my LP is the right choice and that I am the ultimate creator. The idea of potency and all the instant informational synchronities that reach back to book to book from book to book to podcast/video etc to memory of memory of memory of memory. Whatever. The evearbearing nature of information at Yellow was so obvious. It's fault it's win-win greed ego good hearted nature. I was just amazed by this double saint experience. I would say I love life and nature more ever deeper than I could imagine. I noticed so much but I need a different space. I would go through some banghda and I really need this people don't understand animal nature and trauma. I kept thinking about how do I explain this to my psychologist, she basically is a robot at TIER 1 with TIER 2 head any conscious phyiscal object that has a sense of consciouness has more depth and I had this sense the whole time. Like what if what if an alien life form lands/robot etc. and we are tested based on consciouness. As well as how it feels to be equal in consciouness with an object given in 3d space time. Oh and I noticed why I love 3's in the enneagram and why effort is such an important topic nowadays imo. I really felt the magic of being a child again had a lot of positive resolving trauma experiences crying that my grandpa died sitting in a wheelchair when I was 6-7 never getting to know the person. He communicating with me trying his best to be loving in a sense. All the informational sort of for MBTI fans. SI transformational nature for NI driven INFJ it was hell. Hell loving itself and back. Like imagine an SI person torturing me with factual/registered information/ list after list after list. I noticed my perosnal ego craves this transformation. It was the hell it was seeking to transform and I was so thankful that my memory is of emotional and not factual nature. I cried at siddih stuff. I can't believe it I can't believe i trust my perception and it's accurate and I keep doubting consciously. Doubt/cessation doub cessation. Full stop. Relax. Gone. I was just deeply rested in the perceptual truth regardless if it was morphing twisting turning. Everything was truth. Falsehood was truth. Pain was truth etc. After this I watched some Leo video about Don't know and Love and I noticed sort of our subtle personal connection over the years and had like siddih type pheonomena where I am unsure how far I keep deluding myself as I keep playing god. I started to love Leo more and more and saw his good hearted generous nature that seems so misunderstood. It really reminded me of my friend and at one point I just came to the conclusion we are on and the same. Why do i even generate the notion of hate in my head. Just because of collective opinions and backlash and "personal" "grudges" I had. I cried at this infantile human nature and was just thankful that the love connection sort of exists. This also goes for Shinzen and the everbearign nature of good will and forgivness I was just thankful there is no true captial H Hate. Oh I was so thankful for the notion of good in everyone, how we can hold in my own words to consistent ultimate positive regard for each other and each others values and see their god hod / subtle soul in that sense. I kept thinking about questions how I can integrate this with my psychologist as she seems so useless in comparrision to the control I had over this trip and the clarity. I thought I had to bring this back to practice she can't avoid it and I am looking for away to explain as she is super open minded and she has meditative experiences in a tradition where I can explain this theory to her. Even if she will laugh and feel stupid because I have to go over her head to show that I was over her head.... and then translate it into her nature. To give rise to potential. This all happend during the peak if I had to summarize: I loved my double saint nature in myself and the other person Clarity of love, spaciouness, seeing it in space morphing and forming and contrasting colors Expansive self Attenuated self Infinite space, spaciouness, expansivness Everbearing notion of infinity and it's "multiplicative" nature similar to indras net Gods ominpotent nature of me The awesomeness of asking philosophical question and how the observer gives back answers Crazy visual phenomena/ audible hearing my own name Consistent predictions of the mind that are accurate based on information given sort of NI synthesis on super super supe crack this was beyond hyper and I had an omniscient experiences that gave me a taste how schizopherenic experiences happen. The point is just never bellieving anything even if it seems true and to get on with the experience. This is certainly not mainstream. There will not be much validation. This "makiyo" type pheonmena is unspoken gold... for many. Many teachers don't talk about this I am happy Shinzen did varjana and saw deities etc. Insects crawling on him etc. As DMT is soon coming. etc. I had a lot of beautiful subtle inner visions I was in joy and awe of my mind I noticed state is everything there is nothing but state and I loved it structure is state. State is all there is as theory is also a construct that is state... Crazy visual phenomena like seeing myself appear on my screen / my face for a brief time Love of a saint loving all beings equally deeply from a place of no-self Abundance Ultimate positive regard Seeing my own saint hood Subtle addicitons To intense of an experience to medtiate Love of death and seeing it's perennial nature More love for the relative self. Panpsychic love Offset: I keept watching videos and started to lay down in my bed as I noticed the peak is ending and everything is still morphing and bubling I felt a lot of abundance and how important it is to be confident in life and have a strong presence like a lion hunting a gazell. I noticed how contemporary culture demonizes men after talking also to trans people etc. I thought to myself it's very bad and incorrect partially and also very much justified a lot of SJW are correct, they are just to aggressive in their approach. I became very aware of how important autonomey is and how authority is outsourced because of a lack of responsibility. I went through my head how art and culture always displays men white beared men in museums, exhibitions etc. I kept thinkin about my second name which is fking ancient and basically has the meaning of Saturn or is named after the planet of Saturn what that means in roman mythology. How men abuse their power and I kept thinking about healthy masculinity presence abundance just radiating pure strength and joy. How important that is no matter how fragile you are obvious the more you embody the physical nature energy of this feeling. Exercise and meditation I find creates a lot of these abundant masculine transcended ego self experience and I was sort of in awe of how healthy masculinity feels it's positive ever giving nature. It's like a hand reaching out towards you grabbing you making you feel warm. I keept also thinking about the good will qualties of a mother as they seemed very similar. Sort of the love of a saint hood mother not ever letting go of her child infusing it with pure love and good will of morality sort of. Just the notion that morality even exists and that you should love it no matter what even when you do something wrong I will forgive you. This perpetuated itself and I dritfted of slowly becoming sleepy although I could not sleep at all till 18:00 the next day. I smoked some weed and this potentiate the trip a lot way to much by 2-4h approx. I'll leave it at this. I might add and edit later. As this is already a lot to read and I don't know if someone can give me even feedback. Afterglow: Same as offset with just becoming more sleepier nothing very profound just the lasting existence of the profoundness that preceeded continued on. Terminology: Gross: body-mind simply said physiological self with the person self. Subtle: Expansiveness in consciouness, soul self arises more disidentification with gross body, open, luminous, loving clarity, aware of re-incarnated nature of that creates a sense of timelessness(I was digital and physically), higher and wider deep spaciouness Subtle Is not: Awarness of past lifetimes and awarness of specific events more a soul awakening to openess, spaciouness and expansivness without identification with gross releam Causal: Space Time becoming archetypal the matrix basically let's caital M Matrix. I dunno how else to relate more normaly for stage Green, I leave it at this because I had basically casual additction of subtle state I could not let go of the subtle and I did not want to because of fear. It was a lot, yet I am pretty clear I explored subtle space. Mainly love and infinite space. I also thought I really wanted to give Leo feedback as he takes so much time and effort to create these videos I forgot like 90% of my critcism in that sense good feedback. Hope the post helps <3. Side notes/Remarks: I was also amazed how chill Elon seemed to be around Lex. I really thought it was cool to see because I received some insider info and sometimes I panic about politics, it's all a game in the end... hopefully it ends well. I also see every creator watches his videos in 2x. Sort of the repetitive subconscious nature and how well integrate a person seemd was very obvious on 2x.

You can do this trick can't re-create the bug currently, yet this worked now consistently once... Enter link (link not embeded) Press shift + enter Enter link again voila Should work ultimately dunno. As I can't re-create the bug.

Thank the lord.

@Nilsi yeah the whole point of the argument personal snipping. If you truely keep this abstract you'd see a level of non-judgement appropriately. As I will when I see so many mistakes.